6. A New Normal
November 2009
Olympus
Hold on for one minute. Is Zeus trying to set me up with his son? So what, now he is playing matchmaker. By being his son wingman. What kind of sick joke is this? A mixture of emotions rises inside me; anger, disgust, annoyed, and frustrated. A war raged on inside me while I kept my face clear of any of my emotions.
"You want me to be what…Jason's friend? Girlfriend? Wife?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but the more I talked anger slipped out in my tone. "Mother to his children? What do you exactly want from me?"
Zeus looked as if ready to implode on me, but when Dad put a hand on his shoulder, he only looked away with his jaw clench. He shook off Dad's hand and stepped aside; Dad stepped closer to us. I can see the turmoil going on in his head; it was cleary by the look on his face.
"We don't expect anything. I am not going to force you into any relationship with Jason. Experience in our family is proof enough that a force or arrange marriage is not the solution," He told me, his voice is calm and steady. "You and your brother are well respected in the camp. Especially now that you've help won the war. And so is Jason in Camp Jupiter."
He paused to rub his jaw. My heart was pounding, I can feel every hair in my arms rise, and my fingers were twitching.
"Both camps look to you, your brother, and Jason as leaders. There are trust and loyalty," Zeus spoke up again. "If both camps saw their leaders being civilized then perhaps the relationship between the camps will improve. Set an example."
"Okay, so you want us to play nice then. Be friends with the guy," Percy said. I look to Percy, relief displayed as if thinking that there is nothing more they expect from me and Jason.
"Yes, as of right now that all we ask of you," Dad told him, something in his tones alarms me. "But no one can know. You mustn't tell anyone about what Zeus and I discuss with both of you today."
"Right now, that is all you want: a friendship, courteous to each other. But someday, you hope for something more to happen between Jason and me, right?" I asked them dully. "That a Greek girl and a Roman boy can be more than enemies? More than friends. Lovers, even."
I looked straight at Dad the entire time, not wavering for a second. I'm sure he could see the fire in my eyes, the anger. Even some tears almost began to fall. He sighed deeply; sadness washed over his face.
"I need to speak to Bella alone. Please, brother." He declared and gave Zeus a look. Zeus grumbled and walked out of the room. "Percy, please give us a moment."
Percy nodded a bit confused, wanting to say something more. But in the end, he exited quietly, leaving me alone with Dad.
Life settled in Forks in a rather normal routine for me after the meeting with the Cullen family, peace fell between us since that day. I would smile at Alice during our class together, although we never sat together. I would wave at the rest of them during lunch, Mike would nod them, and Jessica simply smiled at them. In biology, Edward and I did not speak much unless it was necessary, but it was still pleasant between us.
Days procced in the same repetitive cycle, with small greetings and smiles in passing during school. I would go to an empty house, make myself a snack, and work on homework before I made myself dinner or reheated leftovers. Clean the kitchen, wash the dishes, then stepped out to take care of the pegasi. For the most part, they were left outside in the field, grazing or playing with each other. Unless it rained which was, unfortunately, most of the time in Forks. It was certain that it would rain for at least two days straight. The clouds hardly let the sun glow brightly in the sky, an opposite to my bright and sunny camp. At the end of the day, I would take a shower, change into my pajamas, and get into bed to either finish more homework, read, or watch a movie. Life in forks was simple, easy, and but it wasn't perfect.
There were some nights I would wake up screaming in pain and terror from a nightmare; other nights it felt impossible to scream. I could barely even breathe. As if hands clench my lungs, prevented air to flow freely. My body froze in fear, unable to even lift my arm or head as if a huge weight was on my chest restricted me from making any movement. Those nights were the worse. But every day, morning came with the light shining into my room. So I forced myself out of bed and went to school. And the vicious cycle started again. Days went by like this, the same boring pattern in a small, boring town. Then one day Jessica announced something at lunch then probably change everything.
"So Angela and I were thinking of going to Port Angeles on Saturday," Jessica stated after she took a sip of her water.
It was pizza again for lunch today, and I had refused to eat this time. So I had gotten a salad instead, and it still wasn't the best option.
"What for?" I said simply, my eyes still glued to my salad.
"Dress shopping, for the dance," She stated with a certain tone that only Jessica did best. It was a mixture of sarcasm and dumfounded.
The word dance got my attention, so I asked, "What dance?"
"You haven't noticed all the flyers?"
I shook my head; I hadn't paid much attention to what was going on in this school.
"It's the girl's choice spring dance next weekend, do you want to come?"
The idea to attend a school function didn't sound too appealing. To be stuffed into the school gym where I'm pressured to interact awkwardly with everyone. I cringed at the thought. "I'm in to go to Port Angeles, but it is a hard pass on the school dance."
"It could be fun," Angela said with a gentle smile.
It would be fun for someone else but not for me. Angela's smile almost convinced me to agree to go, but then I remember the last school dance I went to. So I lied, it came so naturally to me. "I can't, I have this family thing. My dad is going to New York that weekend, and I said I'd go with him."
"Aww, maybe next time then. But I bet New York will be so much fun, and you get to see your family." She grinned excitedly at me.
"Yeah, it will be great to see them," I said, and with that Jessica and Angela start planning our trip to Port Angeles. I turn my attention back to my limp and pathetic salad drench in Italian dressing. Once the bell rings, we all separated to go to our classes. Edward is in his seat when I get there, looking down at his notebook.
"Hey," I said to him brightly as much I could manage.
"Hello," He responded with a crooked grin looking up. "How are you?"
Ever since that night, things have been easier between us. His eyes no longer turned black when I walked in. I wasn't sure if due the mixture Mike has made that covered my scent. Or perhaps he has gained more control of himself. But I was grateful for the small victory that we no longer wanted to kill each other. His eyes were still a challenge. They still spread fear and panic every time they met mine. But with each day that passed, I slowly grow to tolerate them. There days where its eyes are not eyes bright, those days are easier. Today was my lucky day when I noticed that his eyes were darker.
"Oh, same old, same old. Nothing really exciting to tell," I mumbled, as I took out my supplies.
"I would have thought your life would have been more exciting," He said quietly enough for me to hear. And only for me to hear.
"Trust me when I say: I've had enough excitement in my life," I told him bleakly. "Enough to last me the rest of my life."
The good mood that I had earlier is now gone, the grin I had earlier is now replaced with a frown.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset," He said gently once he saw my face. Guilt is heavy in his tone that it causes me to regret my harsh tone. The bell rang at that moment, the buzzing around the room faded as everyone gets ready to class.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "You shouldn't apologize. It's just that, trouble always seems to find me. Around the corner, like a ticking-time-bomb ready to implode."
"So you relish the boring days more," He muttered quietly. His eyebrows scrunched up, lost in his thoughts and memories.
"You know the feeling then." I began to write down some notes, it was easier to talk to him when I had something else to do. It kept me busy and it was an excuse not to look at him.
"Yes. Every time one of us slips, we have to move and start over."
I could hear the fluttering of paper, that sound of his pen gliding on the surface. And I tried so hard to ignore it. To ignore him, but it's easier said than done. It was getting harder to focus on the words in front of me. And after a third attempt of trying to pay attention, I groan and just put my pen down to rub my eyes. It was useless; the words kept moving and it getting harder to read.
He looked at me in confusion. "What's wrong?"
"My dyslexia, it's acting up. I can't read the sentence," I mumbled irritably.
"I can help you," He told me softly, and I finally looked to him. His eyes filled with so much empathy and understanding that I couldn't look away. I dreaded the times that I would have to look him in the eyes. But somehow at that moment, it wasn't so bad. I almost didn't want to look away. I muttered an okay; a bit daze and confused. He smiled at me and that's when I noticed that one corner of his mouth lifted higher than the other.
The rest of the week passed uneventfully; nothing popped out of the ordinary routine I have created for myself. My days are filled with the repetition of school, homework, chores, taking care of pegasi. It was so strange to have such an average life, for so long my life has been filled with running, monsters, and fighting. That is almost hard to believe this is my life now, a very mundane life. I waited for something to wrong but nothing happened. Then came Thursday.
I walked into biology with Mike blabbering about whatever he found had found interested this week. This week it was about the upcoming baseball game Sunday. I sat down on the empty lab table, which was odd since Edward hasn't missed a class period since he came back. Mike also notice my lab partner was missing and gave me a look also wondering why he was missing.
It was not until the class began that I realize as to why he decided to skip; Mr. Banner started to explain the three items that he was passing around the room. His gloved hands lifted each item and gave a quick explanation of what it was. I was lost as to what each product item was for until he began to give a demonstration on Mike's finger. At first sight of his blood, sweat began to break out on my forehead. Stay calm, I told myself, it's only blood. I had seen plenty of blood before and much more than a prick on a finger, I continued to think to myself.
He came around until he landed on my table to drop water on the card, and when he glanced at my face he asked, "Are you feeling okay, Bella?"
"Yes, sir," I said as I lift my hand so he could prick my middle finger with the lancet, I don't even flinch when my skin breaks by the sharp spike. I have felt worse pain. Squeezing my finger as instructed, all while I hold my breath, until blood pours out in small droplets, dark red with small gold speckles. It splatters onto the card. My breathing was shaking so hard that I was failing miserably to control it. Glancing away from my pricked finger, I reached out for the prongs. But once I returned my eyes to my hand, the prongs slipped from my hand. My breathing was out of control as I saw that my whole hand was drench in blood.
Part of me knew it was not real, yet my mind refused to acknowledge it. There was so much blood, it couldn't be all mine. There was no way so much blood can come from a tiny prick, the horrid smell reached my nose. That rancid smell made my head spin. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that my other hand was also soaked in blood. I jumped out of the seat in terror and alarm, it was so sudden that stool fell back, clashing on the ground loudly. Silence fell upon the class at the sound of my stool falling.
I looked up at the sound of Mr. Banner speaking my name, his face full of concern. I glanced around to see the others were filled with confusion; Mike's face sticks out among the others. Without replying to Mr. Banner, I sprint out the room. Running inside the nearest restroom, I turned on the sink and began to scrub my hands furiously. But no matter how many times I added soap or scrubbed, the blood didn't wash away. I gave out a cry in anguish as I sank to the floor, my tears falling down my face. I don't know how long I sat on the floor, hugging my legs to my chest. My head on my knees as I rocked back and forth.
"Bella." I look up to Mike at the entrance of the restroom, his eyes full of worry. "What happened?"
"I…there's…blood," I hiccupped, and I held out my hands for him to see.
His face shifted from concern to confusion as he stared at me, stepping forward he sank in front of me and took my hands in his. "Bella, there's no blood on your hands," I began to argue with him but he stopped me, "Listen to me, Bella. There is no blood. Look."
Shaking my head, I refused to look at my hands. I don't want to see any more blood; more tears fell down my cheeks. Mike urged to my look, but I continued to refuse, "Please, don't make me."
"Okay, I won't force you. But you can't stay at school like this, you should go home," He urged heavily, I nodded rapidly, there was no need to argue. Even if I wanted to stay, I knew it would be pointless.
"But what about everyone in the class, they all saw me run out of there," I pointed out, they all must think I'm crazy now. I don't blame them; I may agree with them.
"Don't worry about them, already use the Mist on them to make them think you started to feel faint at the sight of blood. That I took you to the nurse's office, it worked, so don't worry about them," He stated confidentially, he gently hoisted me up from the ground and began to lead me out to the parking lot.
I felt awful the entire route, my body trembled and it was hard to breathe. I kept my head up, looking straight ahead with my hands stiffly down by my side. I felt drain and nauseous, it felt worse when we stepped out of the building. I continually tried to breathe steadily; in and out.
"I need to sit down," I whispered.
I sat down slowing onto the sidewalk, putting my head on my knees. Why is the world spinning? I need it to stop, everything needs to stop. I clenched my head with my bloody hands as it began to pound so hard I could barely think. Mike was trying to calm me down, but I can barely hear over the pounding.
"Bella?" A particular clear voice reached my ears.
Only when I look up to the eyes of Edward does the throbbing stop. And the world is silent.
"What happened?" He asked Mike, but I answer.
"I don't like seeing blood," I stated strongly, he looked at me strangely.
"I need to take her home quickly, but I can't be missing for too long. Said I was going to take her the nurse, if I'm gone for too long they'll start asking questions," Mike said hurriedly, as he began to rise from the sidewalk. I didn't even notice he sat down with me.
"I'll take her, you can go back to class," Edwards told him, Mike and I stare at him surprised.
"Are you sure?" Mike said as looked at me, silently asked me if I was okay with Edward taking me home, I nodded.
"Yes, I was skipping anyway. Just waiting for my siblings in my car," Edward answered with a nod.
"Thank you," I replied in relief, but then I remember. "What about my car? And the nurse, she never saw me."
"Jessica or I can drop it off after school, and as for the nurse, I can use the Mist to make her think that Edward brought you in. That you felt worse and Edward convinced her to take you home. It'll be easy." He said with a smile, I smiled back and thanked him and gave him my keys.
"Let's go," I told Edward, he held out his arm for me to grasp, and after a moment I gently took it for support.
"Thank you, for taking me home," I expressed again once we are inside the car. "But did you know what was going to happen in class today? Is that why you were skipping?"
He turned on the car, but we don't move yet.
"Yes I knew, Alice told me about it. I thought it would be best to skip." He answered, and turned on the heat, the car warms up easily.
"How did she knew about it?" I asked again, getting more curious.
"I already answer two of your questions, and I have plenty of questions that I would like to be answered as well," He pointed out.
"You're right. I'm sure you're filled with questions, it is only natural. How about we take turns asking and answering each other's questions?" I waited for his reply; it seemed that while we both have questions about each other, there must be a limit to how much we can say.
"I agree, but only if we respect each other when there is a question that we cannot answer," he said.
After a while, I nodded. It will be better this way, so I tell him to ask me his two questions.
"My first question is: why did you move here?"
"Wow, you don't hold back. Okay, so a lot happened in New York, I lost close friends. So much more happened that I don't want to go into detail right now but New York didn't felt the same. I needed a change of scenery. I almost didn't want to leave but my mom and brother encouraged me to come here. For my health and sanity," I finished with a huge exhale, I looked out to the other parked cars.
"I'm sorry for you what went through, I hope Forks is what you were looking for," Edward muttered softy.
"It's starting to be. So what's your next question."
"What is the Mist? You spoke about it when you showed us your pegasus, and now again with Mike about manipulating people's thoughts." He began to exit the parking lot.
"The Mist is a barrier that divides the world of gods and mortals, it shields their eyes from seeing something they shouldn't. Something their minds wouldn't be able to compered, makes them see something they would understand," Edward interrupted me.
"Like the Pegasus," he pointed out, nodding to himself, slowly grasping the concept.
"Exactly, but it's so much more than just a barrier between the two very different worlds, its powerful. Powerful enough to create memories in mortal minds, so clear and vivid that it'll be hard not to believe it. Only a few demigods can control it and very limited mortals can see through pass the Mist." I finished speaking just as we turn onto my driveway. It was a rather unexpected turn, a small opening among trees with a long path leading to the house.
"Extraordinary," He marveled, lost in his thoughts. I'm sure he is now wondering how many times his mind as been influence by the Mist. What has he seen, only for it to be manipulated for something else?
"Well, now it's my turn. How did Alice know about the blood test in biology?" I asked him.
"A few vampires have a specific ability, we call them gifts, beyond our excelled strength and speed. Alice's gift is that she can see glimpses of the future, but it never certain it can change based on a person's decisions," Edwards told me, he parked the car in front of my house.
"Ah, I see now." I chuckled at the poorly made pun. She must have seen the Banner's decision to hold it the blood test. "So if a person changes their decisions…"
"Then the visions change," He finished my sentence and then proceeded to ask his next question. "Many students were thinking about a Maserati that pass by the school on your first day. Was that your father?
"Yes, he was only there to see me off on my first day. I haven't seen him since," I said softly, he doesn't comment anything, just stayed silent. I couldn't bear the silence anymore so I asked, "How did you know what they were thinking?"
"I can read minds, their thoughts. Almost everybody," I looked at him confused, he then proceeded to explain, "I can read everyone's mind but yours. And now Mike's and Jessica's mind."
"That's ...cool." And helpful. I honestly don't know what to say, I'm grateful that my mind was safe. I glance at the clock on the dashboard, the school will be over in twenty minutes.
He nodded, "What is your brother's name?"
"Sorry I can't answer that," I say in all seriousness that he looked thrown off. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "I'm kidding. His name is Perseus, but we call him Percy for short."
He smiled at my joke, and shakes his head jokingly, "Very funny."
"I know," I chuckled. "What did you meant when you said 'and now Mike's and Jessica's mind?'"
He shifted around his seat to face me better; soft music is playing as the raindrops splatter on the car. He rests his head on the head-rest and answered in a soft voice.
"I was able to before, or at least I thought I was reading their thoughts. But after what you just told me, it must have the Mist creating thoughts in my head. So I wouldn't suspect anything. Mike always seemed to be "thinking" about sports and food, nothing like the man I've gotten to know better. And Jessica always came across as shallow, and self-centered. Her "thoughts" were always about her appearance and …me."
He looked sheepishly, he would be blushing if he could. I try hard not to laugh but with each second it getting harder to hold it in. Bits of laugher spill out when he says that, I can't even hold back a little. He started to chuckle with me until it's full-blown laughter. We both laugh for a while until finally, it died down.
"I'm sorry about that, it's nothing against you. It's just Jessica has never been boys crazy for as long I have known her. And her being shallow, nope. There has never been a shallow bone in her body," I told him strongly. "And Mike is so much more than just a jock. He's smart, clever, and a great fighter."
"They're close friends to you," He states plainly and I nodded.
"They're family to me," I whispered. "My turn, are there any more gifted ones in your family?"
I lifted my legs to chest and wrap my arms around, careful not to look at my hands. The constant sound of the rain helped to calm me down, the fear that I had felt earlier nearly gone. But I still refuse to look at my hands. I practically still smell the blood, but I was faint enough for me to overcome it.
"One more, Jasper, he can feel other people's emotions and change it if he wants," He answered effortlessly, I bobbed my head and signal him to proceed with his question.
"Why do you hate blood?"
I swallowed hard, and I almost want to tell him I can't answer this one. With resolve, I decided that I'll only tell him what I can, nothing more. "Last year, summer 2009, I lost a very close friend to me. Her name was Silena and my best friend since I was twelve. I held her my arms as she died, her blood is…was on my hands. I guess when I saw the droplet of blood on my hand, my mind saw and thought something else. It looked so real, it felt real, the texture, the color, so I panic and ran out of the room to go the restroom to wash it out. But it wouldn't go away no matter how much I scrubbed, a few minutes later Mike ran in to calm me down."
I think I said much more than I needed to, but once I started talking I couldn't stop myself. It just all came pouring out. Tears threaten to fall once more; my vision was foggy. Silence fell upon us for a long period. It was a shock of how much I shared with him. So natural for me to open up to him.
"I'm truly am sorry for your friend, you've suffered a great loss," He looked so remorseful, "I apologize for asking such a question. I had no intention to make you relieve such a painful memory."
"It's not your fault, you just ask why I hate blood. I'm sure you thought I would have answer something more normal," I wiped my eyes and look back at the clock, only twelve minutes left. I only have twelve minutes left with him. Twelve minutes.
"Um, you should be heading back soon right? To pick up your siblings," I muttered awkwardly, as I drummed my fingers softly on my shin.
"You're right, but it's your turn to ask the question," He stated, with a gentle smile, I couldn't help but smile back.
"Okay," I pondered on what I should ask, it hard to think of a good one at the moment. So I settled by asking him, "How old are you?"
"Seventeen," He stated too quickly, there's something more. So I went ahead and asked, even though I knew it was not my turn.
"Have you been seventeen for a while?"
"Since 1918, I was seventeen when I was turned." He answered somberly, he looked straight ahead, his hands clenched around the steering wheel. I inhaled deeply at his answer; I think that's enough for today. I unbuckled my seatbelt, opened the door, and stepped out of the car. As I stepped out, this feeling, that I couldn't fully understand, ripens inside me. A tug at my heart so strong that it leaves me stunned.
I turn back around to look at him and said, "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."
"We won't be in school tomorrow. Starting our weekend early, some of us going hunting tomorrow."
"Oh, well then have fun with your family then," I whispered, putting on a small smile. "Enjoy your...meal?"
"I'll try," He smirked and let out a chuckle. "I'm sure Emmett will find ways to annoy me. He always does."
I laughed and shook my head, "Brothers."
He chuckled in response, and I gave one more smile. I close the door and step back, the car hummed to life as he turned it back on and went back to school. I stood there staring down my driveway as his car grows smaller in the distance. He gets further away from me. Until he turns left to get back on the road to back to school do I finally enter my house.
