August 22nd - August 25th, 2009

I had been with the Harvelle's for almost three months. Ellen had set me up with one of her spare bedrooms. Mostly I spent my time in there drawing and keeping to myself. Nate would periodically come in and check on me. I could tell he wanted to cheer me up, but I guess a part of me just wasn't ready to be okay with my family being split up.

Honestly, I wasn't sure I would ever be okay with that. I was slowly starting to come out of my shell, though, because Dean had kept his word and called me every night, even if it was to do nothing more than just say goodnight. Surprisingly, I wasn't having trouble sleeping, maybe because lately, my dreams had oddly been happier than my real life. Instead of having my usual nightmares, I was dreaming of being on the road with Sam and Dean again.

Tonight was different, though. I could not stop tossing and turning. No matter what I did, I just couldn't fall asleep.

I laid on my back, just staring at the ceiling, hoping that at some point, my eyes would become heavy, and I would finally fall asleep. Then I spotted a strange shadow in the corner of my room. I sat up and pulled my knife out from under my pillow.

"Who are you?" I asked.

It took a moment, but then the figure stepped out of the shadows and smiled at me. "Hi, peanut."

I almost lost grip of my knife out of shock. "Dad?" I asked with wide eyes.

He stepped closer to me and smiled.

I stood up from the bed, my knife ready. "Stay back."

He laughed. "You going to stab me with the knife I gave you?"

"You can't really be him," I said.

He put his hands out. "You know what to do then."

I opened my nightstand, still keeping eye contact with him, and pulled out a flask of holy water. I unscrewed it and splashed it on him, but nothing happened.

"Don't forget silver," he said.

I nodded. "I know, I just don't have any, so keep your distance."

He pointed to my knife. "I silver plated the blade."

I furrowed my brow. "You could be lying."

He smiled. "I could be, but I'm not." He shrugged. "Could a shapeshifter do this?"

He put his hands out and flickered before he disappeared and then reappeared about two feet to the right.

I shook my head. "No."

He smiled at me.

"Is it really you?" I shook my head. "We saw you, you disappeared into a light. We thought that meant you—"

"Went to a better place?" he asked and sat down on the bed.

I shrugged. "Yeah, honestly."

He nodded. "That's what I wanted you to believe."

I sat down on the bed next to him. "I miss you..." I started to get choked up, and tears started to form. "So much."

Dad reached over and grabbed my hand. "I miss you too, baby."

I put my head down.

"Why aren't you with your brothers?" he asked.

I looked up at him and shrugged. "They think it's better to be apart. With everything that happened with Sam—"

He nodded. "Yeah, I know all about that." He smiled. "You know, I'm proud of you."

I shook my head. "For what?"

"I know that you're like Sam," he said.

I furrowed my brow. "You do?" I shook my head. "But you told Dean he might need to kill Sam, why wouldn't you tell him about me?"

"Because I know you won't go down that path. You're too loyal to your family," he said.

I furrowed my brow. "So is Sam."

He nodded. "Yeah, that's why he ran away to Stanford and left us behind?"

"He wanted a normal life." I shrugged. "I can't hold that against him, sure he could've done it differently, but he wasn't getting much support either."

He nodded. "What about Ruby?"

I looked down and sighed. "I guess... I don't really have anything for that."

He nodded. "Peanut, I don't want you to think I don't love your brother. I love Sammy, I do. It's just you two are different, I don't have to worry about you the way I worry about Sam."

I sighed and nodded. "Dad?"

"Yeah, baby?" he asked.

"Uh, I don't want you to think I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?" I asked.

"I'm trying to protect you," he said.

I furrowed my brow. "Protect me? From what?"

"Yourself," he said.

I shook my head. "What do you mean?"

"Don't fight who you are. When the time comes, embrace what you were given," he said.

I shook my head. "I don't get it. You want me to use my powers?"

He shook his head. "It's not just about that... I realized that you can't change destiny, but you will die trying."

I stared at him for a moment. "Dad..." I sighed. "I don't understand what you want me to do."

"You will..." he said and then disappeared.


The next morning, I woke up oddly refreshed. I got dressed and walked out to the kitchen to where Jo, Ellen, and Nate were sitting around a table eating bacon and eggs for breakfast.

Ellen looked up and smiled. "Hey, sweetheart. Joinin' us for breakfast today? Grab a plate."

Nate jumped up immediately and grabbed a plate out of their cupboard. "Here, you go," he said and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I smiled.

He smiled back. "Yeah, no problem." Then he walked back over to his seat.

I heard Jo giggle quietly.

"What?" Nate whispered.

Jo smirked and shrugged at him.

I loaded up my plate and joined them at the table.

"Dean call you late last night?" Ellen asked.

"What?" I asked.

"I thought I heard you talkin'," she said.

"Oh, oh yeah." I nodded. "Sorry, I guess I didn't realize I was so loud."

"No, it's fine." She smirked. "You just tell that boy, you need to get some sleep, shouldn't be callin' at two in the morning."

I laughed. "Okay."

She cleared her throat. "Have you heard from Sam at all?"

I shook my head. "No, but I haven't tried to call him either." I shrugged. "I figure this whole thing stemmed from what he wanted, so he probably wants to be left alone for a while."

She nodded and continued eating her breakfast.


A couple of hours later, I was sitting at the desk in my room drawing when I heard a guitar. I listened for a little bit and realized it was the acoustic version of Styx's Renegade. I walked out of my room and down the hall and realized the music was coming from Nate's room.

I pushed the door open since it wasn't latched and found him sitting on the floor against his bed, playing guitar. I smirked and decided to sing along with his strumming. He turned and looked up at me with a smile on his face and continued playing. I walked in and sat down next to him, continuing to belt the words.

He laughed and stopped playing. "You know Styx?"

"Hell yeah!" I laughed. "Me and Dean jam to them in the car all of the time."

He smiled. "You're pretty good."

I waved his compliment off. "Yeah, right. I was just messing around."

He laughed. "That makes it even better."

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Anyway..." I smacked his arm. "I didn't know you play guitar."

Nate smiled. "There's probably a lot you don't know about me."

I moved over next to him and leaned against his bed. "Yeah, I guess that's true."

He smiled and then went back to playing. I laid my head back, closed my eyes, and just listened.

I jumped awake when someone shook me and shouted, "Boo!"

Nate laughed. "You fell asleep, dimples."

"Oh, sorry." I yawned and stretched. "What time is it?"

"Come on." He put his hand out for me to take. "Dinner's ready."

I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me up. "What's for dinner?"

"Um." He turned and started walking out. "Chicken and potatoes, I think."

"Yum," I said and followed him out to the table.

We took our seats and started digging into the delicious smelling food on the table.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller ID. "Oh, it's Dean," I said and then silenced the call, feeling rude that I had even checked my phone while we were eating together.

"You can take it, sweetheart," Ellen said with a smile.

"Uh, okay," I said and stood up. "Thanks." Then I ran down the hall and answered it before it was too late. "Hey."

"Hey," Dean said, "Sorry, is it a bad time?"

"Oh no," I said, "We were just eating dinner—"

"I can let you go," Dean said.

"No, no," I said quickly, not wanting him to get off the phone. "How's the vampire thing going?"

"Ganked it," he said, "I'm actually working with Cass on something else."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" I asked.

"We are going to find God," Cass said in the background.

"Hey, Cass," I said.

"Hello, Maddison," he answered.

"Do I need to be here?" Dean asked.

I laughed. "All right, grumpy. How are you going to find him?"

"We need to speak with the archangel Raphael," Cass said.

"How can he hear me?" I asked, "Am I on speaker?"

Dean sighed. "No..."

"I am an angel of the Lord," Cass said.

I sighed. "Good point," I said. "So, this Raphael character... is he dangerous?"

"Very," Cass said.

"So, should you be going, Dean?" I asked.

Dean cleared his throat. "Cass said—"

"Angels will not kill Michael's vessel," Cass interrupted.

"Okay, so what's your plan?" I asked.

"Dean is bringing me to a brothel," Cass said.

"What?" I asked.

"Cass..." Dean hissed.

"I wasn't aware it was a secret," Cass said.

"Why are you taking him to a brothel, Dean?" I asked.

"He believes I should not be a virgin," Cass said.

Dean groaned. "That's not what I said. Ya know what? How 'bout I call you later, without Cass?"

I laughed. "All right."

"Goodbye, Maddison," Cass said.

I laughed. "Bye, Cass."

"Call you later," Dean said and clicked off.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and walked back out to finish dinner.


I ended up falling asleep waiting for Dean to call, but he never did. So, I woke up the next morning and got ready for the day. When I walked back into my room, my phone was ringing.

"Hey, you didn't call last night," I said when I answered.

"I know, I'm sorry," Dean said.

I smirked. "How'd the brothel go?"

"I don't want my little sister asking me something like that," he said.

I shrugged. "You brought it up last night."

"Actually, I didn't," he said.

"We were removed from the brothel," Cass said.

"You're still with Cass?" I asked, "Hey, Cass. Why did you get removed?"

"I am not sure. I looked the woman in her eyes and told her it was not her fault that her father, Gene, ran off. It was because he hated his job at the post office," Cass said.

I tried to hold back laughter, but I couldn't, and it just burst out.

"I don't understand why you both think that is funny," Cass said.

"You can't just say stuff like that, Cass." I laughed.

"Why not?" he asked.

"That girl's working there because of some serious daddy issues she needs to work through," I said, "She doesn't need to be reminded of it."

"That's what I told him." Dean laughed.

"So, what are you guys doing today?" I asked.

"We're headed to Maine," Dean said.

"What's in Maine?" I asked.

"Raphael's vessel," Cass said.

"And you think he will be there too?" I asked.

"Cass seems to think so," Dean said.

I felt my stomach growl, and I realized how hungry I was. "Hey, I'm gonna let you go, though. I need to eat something."

"Okay, talk to you later," Dean said.

I hung up and walked out to the kitchen, but found Nate sitting alone, eating cereal at the counter.

"Hey, where's everyone?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Oh, they are working a hunt right now."

"You didn't want to go with them?" I asked.

"And leave you here alone?" He shook his head. "No way. You want something to eat? I can make you something."

I shook my head. "Oh, no, I'll just eat cereal."

He pulled a bowl out of a cabinet and a spoon out of a drawer.

I made myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table with him. "So, what do you wanna do today?"

Nate smirked. "I've got something planned, don't worry."

I furrowed my brow and smirked. "Well, I wasn't worried, but I am now."

He shook his head. "It'll be fun."

I shrugged. "All right, I guess I'll trust you."


I finished eating and then went back into my room to watch some TV and draw for a while.

A couple hours later, Nate knocked on my door and walked in with a backpack on.

"You going somewhere?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You'll find out. Get your shoes and coat. I want to show you something."

I furrowed my brow. "Uh, okay?"

I stood up and got ready and then followed him outside. He turned toward the woods, and we started walking along a path.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

Nate laughed. "You ask too many questions."

I shrugged. "Sorry, but it's kind of in my nature to be suspicious of everything."

He looked back at me. "I'm just asking you to trust me." He laughed. "Is that so hard?"

I smirked. "A little."

Finally, we stopped walking, and it wasn't surprising why. We were staring at a beautiful pond that was hidden in the woods.

Nate slid his backpack off his shoulders and started rummaging through it. "This is one of my favorite places to go." He pulled out a blanket and spread it out on the ground. "It's peaceful here and just... simple." He looked up at me. "It helps me breathe when I feel like everything's crushing down on me."

I smiled. "Thanks for taking me out here."

"Yeah, I thought you needed a little breather." He smiled. "Take a seat."

I sat down on the blanket across from him, and he pulled out some plastic containers.

He smirked. "I'm not much of a cook, so I made us peanut butter and jelly." He cringed. "I hope you like that."

I smiled. "Of course." I grabbed one of the containers. "Thank you."

Then he pulled out four bottles. "I wasn't sure what you like to drink either, so I brought orange soda, iced tea, lemonade, and apple juice."

I laughed. "I'll take the tea."

He handed it to me with a smile, and our fingers met for a moment when we exchanged the bottle. Weirdly, my heart fluttered for a second, and we smiled at each other in silence for a moment.

I cleared my throat. "You didn't have to do this, ya know."

Nate nodded. "I know, but I wanted to."

I smiled, feeling a little bit emotional that he cared enough to do this with everything going on. "Thank you."

He nodded with a smile. "No problem."

We ate our sandwiches in silence and took in the nature that surrounded us.

I took a deep breath. "So, I have to tell you something."

Nate looked over at me, a little concern in his eyes. "What's up?"

"There's not really a good way to say this, so I'll just say it." I looked at him nervously.

He furrowed his brow. "What? What's wrong?"

"I... uh— Just promise me you won't look at me differently," I said.

"I won't, Maddison. What's wrong?" he asked.

"I found out a while ago that I'm like Sam," I said.

He looked at me, confused.

"I have demon blood in me, too," I said.

He was silent for a minute. "Why did you think you couldn't tell me that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess... because it's not something I'm proud of."

"So what?" He furrowed his brow. "You know you can tell me anything."

I nodded and thought about that for a second. Then shook my head. "That doesn't freak you out at all?"

He shook his head. "No... why would it?" He shrugged. "Just because I know that about you now doesn't mean that suddenly you're a different person."

I smiled. "Thanks."

He nodded. "Do Sam and Dean know?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I was trying to figure out the best time to tell them, but when everything happened with Sam, it kinda just slipped out."

"What did they say?" he asked.

I shrugged. "We haven't really talked about it since. Dean said he wasn't worried, but I don't believe him. And I didn't really talk about it much with Sam." I looked down. "I just—" Tears came to my eyes. "I don't want to end up like Sam did."

"You won't," Nate said.

I looked up at him, tears now trickling down my cheeks. "It just scares me, ya know?"

He moved closer and put his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder. "I know."

I put my head on his shoulder. "Thank you." I sniffled.

"For what?" he asked.

I shrugged and looked up at him. "For being so nice to me."

He looked down at me. "Of course."

He smiled, he stared at me for a moment, his eyes flicked down to my lips. Then back to my eyes and then quickly turned back to face the pond.

I wasn't used to feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside, but for the moment, I was enjoying myself. So, we sat and stared at the pond together for a while, still with his arm around me.

After a while, Nate moved away and sighed. "As much as I don't want to... we should probably get back."

I smirked. "Well, it was nice while it lasted."

He smiled at me as he started packing his backpack. "Yeah, it was."

I helped him pick up, and we started walking back.

"Thank you for all of this," I said.

He smiled down at me. "You, uh—" He wrapped his fingers in mine. "You don't have to keep thanking me."

I smiled at him, feeling butterflies in my stomach as we walked and held hands.


After we got back, we ate dinner with Ellen and Jo. Shortly after that, Dean called, and I sat on my bed talking to him.

"So, you caught Raphael? How?" I asked.

"Cass gave me some holy oil," Dean said, "Stuff works like a charm."

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's basically like a devil's trap, but for angels. You make a circle of the oil and light it on fire. Angels can't get in or out of it," Dean said.

I nodded. "Sounds super useful." I laughed. "Why wouldn't he have shown us that sooner?"

"I don't know." Dean scoffed. "That's true, we could'a used it."

"Speaking of... where is Cass?" I asked. "He hasn't cut into our conversation."

"He took off, he wasn't too happy about what Raphael had to say," he said.

"Why, what did he say?" I asked.

"He believes God is dead or at least gone for good. Cass doesn't believe him, but I don't know. Why would the guy care?" Dean asked.

I shrugged. "He created us."

"If he cared, all the evil in the world wouldn't exist. He wouldn't let the apocalypse happen," Dean said, sounding frustrated. "I think Raphael is right."

"If Cass thinks that finding God will change all this, then I trust him," I said.

"I'm not saying I don't trust him. I just think he's caught up in a dream." Dean sighed. "Look, I'm going to hit the hay. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You okay, Dean?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine, just tired. I love you, kid." Then he hung up.

"Love you too," I said, even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

I decided to draw for a while, and then my eyes grew heavy, so I laid down for the night.


It had been another weird night. I kept tossing and turning and just couldn't fall asleep. That's when I noticed the familiar figure in the corner of my room.

I sat up. "Dad?"

He stepped out of the shadows. "Hi, peanut." He sat on the bed. "When will you go back to your brothers?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Whenever they're ready."

Dad smiled. "Maybe they need a little push."

I sighed. "Dad, I want to be with them too, but if they aren't ready, then maybe it's not a good idea."

He stood up and walked away, his back to me. "I need you to keep an eye on Sammy, make sure he does what he needs to."

I furrowed my brow. I was starting to get a strange feeling. "What?"

Then he morphed into another man, his back still to me. "Otherwise, I need you to take his place."

I stood up. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

The man turned around with a smile on his face. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you. You're very important to me."

I furrowed my brow. "Who the hell are you?"

He smiled. "You were there when your brother freed me."

My eyes widened, and my heart started pounding. "Lucifer?"

He smiled. "You and Sam are hard to find. You want to tell me why?"

I thought about the markings Cass had made on my ribs. "Am I dreaming?"

Lucifer nodded. "It's the only way I can talk to you." He smirked. "You talk in your sleep, it's kind of adorable."

I glared at him. "What do you want?"

He sighed. "I need you to convince Sam to say yes."

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked.

He smiled. "Sammy is my vessel... my true vessel."

I furrowed my brow. I couldn't believe what he was saying. "He would never say yes."

He waved his finger at me. "I beg to differ, especially when you tell him if he doesn't say yes... you will."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"See Sam may be my true vessel, but you..." He smiled. "Let's just say you're my second-best option."

I shook my head. "No."

He stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder. "Yes." Then he disappeared.

I sat on my bed in disbelief. Whatever I did, I wasn't going to tell anyone about what just happened. Especially Sam, because as much as I hated to admit it, there was a chance that Sam might say yes if he thought he was protecting me.