A/N: Okay, still a wreck about the last chapter lol. But, if you're silently still reading this, thanks! It's been a tough few weeks for me emotionally, and trying to focus and churn out this chapter was harder than I thought it would be. I know I've been dragging my heels getting the plot line rolling, we're going to start chugging on down the track. I really hope y'all enjoy it!

Ahch-To

I woke from a deep sleep feeling more rested than I had...ever that I could remember. A blush bloomed across my cheeks as I recalled the vivid dreams, particularly the latter of the two. I wondered quietly if his room really looked similar to my imagination, and amusedly, if sleeping nude was ever a habit of his.

The things my mind would come up with, honestly. I needed to shake those inappropriate thoughts and focus. I needed to make a decision soon, Chewie was getting antsy about sitting around here.

I got myself up and headed for the fresher. I must've gotten too hot in my sleep, I felt sticky and sweaty. Strange though, because it was so cold. My legs and core felt oddly sore, and I tried to think back, but it must've been from training more rigorously than I'd realized. I shook it off and stepped into the shower.

I stood under the falling water, missing already the scent his sweater had left behind on my skin. My mind lingered still, the way he looked at me, awe and desire tinging his features…The way his lips moved against mine- so deliberate, but ravenous.

I blushed again at the thought of how bold I'd been. I'd never been with a man to have any real idea what I was doing, even in my imagination, but I'd seen some holofilms on the holonet that depicted sexual scenarios. But I'd known those were fiction and not how couples really were.

Shit. How was I even remotely referring to me and Ren as a couple?! As I washed myself, I couldn't help but feel like something was… different. I couldn't put my finger on it, and I couldn't stop circling back to the thought. My lady parts were wet, but then again, after such an intense dream, I expected that. Just not quite...that much.

A shattering realization started prickling it's way across the back of my skull. I'd never felt sore like this. Ever. Upon further inspection, some of that...fluid, was definitely not mine. I was only vaguely aware of the water pattering down on me as I jerkily slid down the wall of the shower in shock, collapsing into a pile on the floor.. I felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, my breathing was labored and haggard. Despite the heat of the steam in the air, I shook violently with chill.

Then that meant...and if that was real...that conversation with Snoke was real too...

My cheeks burned hotter than any day I could remember under a beating sun. Oh, my traitorous body had indeed gotten the best of me this time. And I was quietly furious with myself for letting my desire bowl me over. I'd chided myself over and over- he was my enemy! Why did I give in at every turn despite my own intentions? I'd absolutely had no plans on a tryst with him, but I'd just gone right along with it because I'd naively convinced myself it wasn't real. I'd never been dropped into his surroundings before, how could I have known that was actually his room?

In the safety of a dream, it had been so appealing… I scoffed a little at thinking my own imagination would supply his version of dirty talk. I should've known that was much too specific and graphic for a virgin to come up with, even in her subconscious. I felt so stupid. How in the hell was I going to face him after this? How would he react? How tenderly he held me afterward, how happy and safe I felt. It made me enormously guilty.

I groaned again remembering another thing I'd let slip. Being so possessive was probably one of my worst vices I tried to bury. But I'd tossed it right out for him to see.

If a rancor could just swallow me whole right then. That would be preferable.

Mine. My insides clenched at the thought. I lost my breath again when his face flashed before mine, his expression before he leaned forward and replied so passionately, a husky voice against my ear, "I'm yours, Rey. Forever." He liked the idea of me possessing him, and very willingly fed into that specific desire.

My heart pounded loudly against my ribcage and my head started to throb with the beginnings of a headache. I hoisted myself back up to finish cleaning myself and get out before the water went cold on me, trying to shake off the oppressive thoughts.

I knew this would only fuel him further, trying to turn me. I couldn't contain my dread and frustration at that thought. But, maybe this could be turned into leverage to pull him somewhere in the middle with me. There had to be a way that didn't end with one or both of us dead. I couldn't bear the thought of him dead, if I was really honest with myself.

I slowly toweled off and dressed, then started a series of stretches trying to relieve the deep ache I was left with throughout my body.

The air was dense and heavy all of a sudden, an inexplicable weight settling on my bones that fixed me to the spot and sent my lungs heaving, struggling against the perceived external force. Suddenly, that familiar vacuum sensation. So soon?

All sound stopped around me, I sensed my intruder behind me. I felt his energy envelop my own in a familiar gesture. Against my better judgement, I couldn't help but sink into the feeling. It was safety; feeling the surge of our powers intertwining with each other. It was heady; a feeling like nobody could harm me.

But it was a difficult feeling. This was a safe haven I feared somewhere inside. And not just because of who he was. I felt hollow when he was gone, and afraid when I was with him. Afraid of my own feelings, terrified that I wanted more. What did that say about me? Jedi were forbidden from attachments, and I felt I was already too dangerously far past that line. I didn't even know how to love someone. How would I know how to be loved?

Kriff, I was already on about love... But we fit like a key to a lock, and it terrified me.

My insides twisted in knots, I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me. He was surprised to see me so soon too, I guessed. A silence that felt long stretched between us, but neither seemed to be willing to break the spell. The Force hummed in harmony around us, the bond between us felt as though it was thrumming in contentment.

He finally spoke, his voice low, slinking down my spine. "Were you thinking of me?"

I dared to turn and meet his gaze, and found a pleased, possibly playful expression on his face. I couldn't fight the blush blooming across my face, so I turned away abruptly to face the wall.

"I thought it was a dream." I replied quietly.

I heard his steps, heavy boots bearing down the distance between us as he moved toward me.

"But, in a dream, you were willing?"

It felt like an electric current reverberated between us, and in such close proximity it morphed into a voltaic arc that blinded us both to all reason. Flashes of him beneath me appeared in my mind, those intoxicatingly dark eyes drinking me in, his broad porcelain chest tensed under my fingertips, the labored sounds of pleasure that dripped from his lips. I took in a shaky breath as his energy crackled in my space.

Only a second later, his arms rose to touch the wall on either side of my face, caging my body between him and the wall.

I hadn't answered.

My heart was thumping wildly again with his proximity, it was hard to think with his scent overriding my senses. His gloved hand pushed under my shirt and glided up, pushing my shirt up as he went. My belly coiled in awful desire, I could feel the heat building between my legs. My body was willing even when I knew I was awake. But I knew I shouldn't want him, that we shouldn't do this.

Damn him.

He leaned over, flicking his tongue across the soft skin of my neck, taking it in his mouth and sucking it, my hand reflexively gripping his tunic at his waist behind me and I whimpered in unwitting encouragement.

He grabbed my hips and twisted me around to face him. My entire body felt like kindling screaming to be burned up in his fire.

He looked up at me hungrily, and Maker, I was hungry too.

I'd never been with anyone before. Now that I knew it felt like this, I understood why people acted like such madmen. The possessiveness inside me was unfettered, and it frightened, yet excited me.

He gripped the back of my thighs, pulling them up and toward him then hooking them over his hips, causing me to grip his shoulders in effort to maintain my balance and not keel over. My ankles instinctually locked behind him, and I was now very aware of his straining erection now pressed against my wet, hot center through our clothing.

A shiver of pleasure ripped through me, and he grinned at the little gasp. He took both my hands and pinned them above me with one large hand over my wrists. His eyes raked over me like a predator about to devour his kill.

I could fight it, I could stop it. He wasn't going to force me, I knew that somewhere deep down.

But my brain felt numb, how I wanted his pleasure, how I wanted him to undo me. My body trembled, in acute desire for that sweet ecstasy again.

But my better sense tried to break through the fog, "We can't do this." I finally panted, my rational side was hanging by a thread, but screaming at me to stop this.

"Oh but we can... Your body is crying for attention." His mouth was hot and tempting on my neck and trailing down my collarbone, releasing my wrists.

"No, wait-" I feebly pushed against his broad chest, I wasn't even convincing myself in my resistance.

"I'll only do what you want." He breathed against my sternum, stepping back from the wall and bracing my lower back with a gloved hand against my hot skin to arch my body toward his face as he craned over my smaller form.

"I don't want this." I said with a forcefulness I didn't really feel.

"Don't disrespect me with lies." His face lifted from my chest and the eyes that met mine weren't angry, but they smoldered with intensity, fixed and unyielding.

"Not like this." I muttered.

His posture relaxed slightly, pulling my body upright against his and hiding his face in the crook of my neck, "Why?" He groaned.

"It's not real." I breathed, praying he'd relent, because I wasn't sure I could gather the strength to repel him.

"It feels real." He muttered petulantly, sucking the skin beneath his lips and gripping my waist under my shirt with his gloved fingers, pressing my hips into his.

I struggled to bite back a moan, and he pulled his face back, a smirk teasing at his lips. His eyes glittered with mirth, and I tried desperately to hang on to my resolve.

"But it's not."

His eyes softened with disappointment, but I was relieved when he released me gently with a frustrated huff. Yet, confusingly, my body ached at the loss of his.

When he stepped back, without thought, I stepped right back into his space. His hands reflexively landed on my waist.

As the fog of lust started to dissipate, his expression was cautiously optimistic. There was so much light trying to shine through him in that moment, fears of my own swelling darkness were forgotten in a sweeping moment of vulnerability we basked in together.

I reached out and cupped his cheek in a tender gesture, he closed his eyes and leaned into it trustingly. When he opened them again a second later, there was so much emotion brimming in those chocolate eyes.

His mental barriers were curiously still up, I wondered what I'd feel if they weren't. I wished I could pick at them and tear them down. His feelings were chaos, but I'd brave any storm with him if I could pull him out with me on the other side.

I'm not sure what compelled me to admit it, but it tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"We'll be together, I've seen it." I said softly, petting his cheek with my thumb.

The edges of his lips pulled up, "I know."

The immense aching and longing in his face took my breath away. I smiled back for a second, before lifting myself onto my toes and pressing my lips to his. His hands at my sides clenched tightly at my robes, pulling me flush against him. His tongue gilded against my lower lip, and I knew what he wanted, but I didn't give in and pulled away. He was clearly reluctant to end the kiss.

There was a loud knocking at my door, Chewie must've needed something.

I disengaged him and went to the panel, only looking away for a moment to hover my finger over the button to open it.

But as it often happened, when I turned back to look at him, he was gone.

I didn't know that I would never get used to the feeling of emptiness when he disappeared, my heart clenched in an uncomfortable way. Every time our bond severed, the outside world became further and further away, and I found myself waiting to see him again, those stolen moments becoming so defining and etching into my soul.

If I could escape it, did I want to?

I sighed and opened the door. As I expected earlier, Chewie was antsy to leave and asked what we were to do now.

It was then that a reckless and crazy endeavour burst into my mind. Chewie didn't like it at all, but he knew I was too stubborn to be deterred when I'd decided something. He relented and went to prepare the Falcon for takeoff. Meanwhile, I prepared myself for perhaps my most difficult mission to date.

To finally bring Ben Solo home.

The walls were down, I saw it. There would be no more perfect moment, I had to do this now.

I was jittery with anticipation and anxiety. Going to him, it was a massive risk. But, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. And that dream about Snoke... I needed to confront him about what he knew too. Best to just kill two birds with one stone.

I ran a brush absentmindedly through my hair again, then laughed to myself at the absurdity of it. He'd just seen me, and clearly liked what he saw, why the stars was I fretting over my hair?

It wasn't long before Chewie had us in position to send me out to the Supremacy.

We reviewed the plan briefly, then he sealed me into the pod, albeit a bit reluctantly. My stomach lurched as I felt the pod launched out into the open space between the Falcon and the Supremacy.

I felt when the tractor beam locked onto me, and I could feel Ren watching, his emotions were wild. Excitement, apprehension, pride, possessiveness, lust, joy. He knew I was coming for him, and he was nothing short of thrilled about it.

I smiled to myself, Leia would be so happy- but that line of thought was harshly severed by her voice.

"If she forgives him for killing his father, maybe she'll forgive you for killing her twin, hmm?" She taunted.

I'd been doing good, I'd almost forgotten her. But fortunately, something about Ren's proximity prevented her from fully taking hold and manifesting.

The pod came to a halt, settling in a hangar. I waited in near exaltation to see his face. I knew he would be here to meet me, and as the cover release hissed and pulled away, there he was.

A subtle smile, no doubt due to our audience, but it was there. He extended his right hand, and I gripped it, rising out of the pod gracefully with his assistance.

"I'll hand this personally." He only turned his eyes toward the squad of stormtroopers, who promptly obeyed and left.

"I need to see Snoke." I managed firmly.

He nodded slightly, his eyes inscrutable. "Yes, you do. Come."

He inclined his head toward the far side of the hangar, and turned to begin walking that way. I felt the stares beating down on me, and I was tempted to look, but I followed Ren's example, a straight back and upturned chin. I saw him peek at me out of the corner of his eye, and I struggled not to smile.

When the doors to the turbolift closed, all composure was lost, and we were a mess of tangled limbs and a battle of lips ensued. I was pressed against the wall, his hands buried in my hair and his lips searing hot against mine.

We pulled apart panting for breath, and I broke the silence first.

"I just need to find out who my parents are. He knows. Then we can get out of here." I blurted excitedly.

His face fell, his brows furrowing together. "What do you mean get out of here?"

I faltered, a creeping dread pitting in my stomach. "We'll defeat Snoke, I'll help you. Then we'll escape together." I replied passionately, resting a hand over his bicep, looking up into his eyes imploringly.

He sighed, turning his head away from me with a dejected expression and releasing me, creating distance between us.

My confusion grew, and that nagging dread with it. Had I really missed the mark completely? I was so sure…

"You were supposed to turn and be with me." He muttered miserably, avoiding my eyes.

I sought his eyes, moving toward him and turning my body.

"How could I? Ben, you know me, I would never. And I feel the conflict so strong within you. You're meant to come with me, leave all this pain behind."

His hands balled into fists and his jaw twitched.

"Who are you trying to convince? I have seen your destiny, Rey!" He yelled in frustration.

His voice was forceful and harsh, but his eyes were somehow pleading.

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

I didn't know what to say, my heart was hurting and it took my breath away. I was so stupid. How could I be this stupid? I was one of those madmen. I was chasing something that could never be, something I never should've chased to begin with.

He turned away again, heaving a deep breath and calming himself. His fists relaxed, his jaw eased. When he faced me again, he was composed, eyes cold.

"I know when the time comes, you'll be the one to turn, Rey."

The doors behind me opened, and I turned with trepidation to find the hauntingly red room from my dream.