Again we boarded a turbolift together.
It was heartbreakingly familiar. The feeling heavy between us at the memory of the last time we were together in one.
Suddenly the bond was flooded with such stifling loneliness, fear, sadness, and such want it tore the breath from my lungs. The bond had evolved such that now, our feelings were indiscernible, felt as one.
I saw Kylo tremble, overcome by it as much as I. He mashed a button on the control panel, lurching the turbolift to an abrupt halt.
Before my mind had time to register what he was doing, I was lifted and pressed roughly against the wall, his lips urgent and bruising on mine. Gods, the way he crowded into me, I was burning alive for him already.
His roughness did nothing to deter me, I matched his intensity. I was not gentle as my fingers made purchase in his ebony locks, or when I bit at his lip when he shifted to draw much needed oxygen into his lungs.
Neither of us regarded or acknowledged the taste of tears leaking into our frantic kisses. We desperately had to quell these feelings we'd harbored in our hearts, I felt that instinctually.
"Mine." His voice was broken, but left no room for argument.
I had laid claim to him long ago, but never given him the same spoken claim I knew his heart ached so acutely for.
"Yours." I relinquished myself softly, in earnest for the first time.
He paused to look into my eyes and see the truth of it, his eyes glassy and his lips quivering with emotion. Fire built up in those hazel orbs again, a flare of hurt and anger and possession whipping around us as his lips seared down my neck, hands tearing at my clothing.
I couldn't find it in me to care as he ripped it away, somehow I secretly wanted him to erase all evidence of an existence of me without him as he tore apart the seams with frightening ease.
He wanted me to bare my heart, my soul, and my body. Then he wanted me to surrender them all to him.
Something wild and unhinged he kept buried within him had emerged finally, and demanded submission to balm it's wounds.
"Don't leave me." His voice was strangled and angry at the column of my throat, hot tears dripping from his face and sliding over my collarbone before escaping down my bare chest.
He bit into the soft flesh there between my neck and collar. I whimpered as my torn skin stung, but my fingers caressed his scalp, comforting him and encouraging him as he released the pain long strung between us.
"I won't." I replied breathily, my voice hitching as his teeth sunk into the sensitive flesh of my breast.
A tear fell from his face again, gliding to the peak of my breast. He stared dazedly at the glistening bead hanging precariously from my nipple.
"Never." He insisted, less a question and more a demand as this time. I yelped as my nipple bore his attack this time.
These acts were somehow deeply cathartic, but perhaps something only we could understand. It was the most unbearably intimate thing I'd ever experienced, to surrender my body to his need in such a way.
"Never." I echoed, gently cradling his head to my breast as he soothed the pert teat with the flat of his tongue.
He left one hand holding me up against the wall, the other working deftly at his trousers to free himself. I knew what we were building to, even without the bond. I could feel my own arousal nearly dripping from me in anticipation.
A ritualistic urge he had to reclaim me in every way possible.
"Only me." He locked me under his consuming gaze, my insides clenched in desire at the molten look in his eyes.
"Only you." I echoed, intoxicated by the pervasive lust enveloping us.
All else was drowned out, leaving nothing but unshakable need and unwavering possession so potent and heavy it threatened to ooze from the air.
And then, as roughly and urgently as he'd been so far, he desecrated my cunt with reckless abandon. His fingers pressed hard into the back of my thighs, pushing them so high my knees nearly touched the wall so he could bury himself to the hilt inside me over and over.
His grunts and groans were raw and guttural, keeping a punishing pace as I tried to weather his storm of violent passion.
Coy little mewling and moaning was entirely forgotten, outright screams and cries burst from me at the onslaught of animalistic pleasure.
The only thing louder was the creaking, snapping, and crackling of the walls and electrical components around us that I felt trembling at my back or intermittent bursts of light behind him, but paid no heed to.
With one last slam of his hips into me, he cried out in completion as I felt his cock throb, filling me.
After catching his breath, he quietly and gently lowered me to my feet again. I could feel his spend leaking down my nude thighs.
All was calm, the beast was soothed.
He silently manipulated the control panel back together with the Force, with the ease of a person who'd done such before, and pressed the button to resume the upward motion of the lift. He then fixed his trousers before turning to me.
I was filled with contentment and adoration then, as his eyes, now soft, appraised me. He undid his cloak from his shoulders, wrapping it completely around my nude form and lifting me bridal style in his arms. I sighed and closed my eyes, laying trustingly against his chest.
I felt the swell of emotion as the gesture, the tightening of his fingers, how he pulled me ever so slightly closer to him. His forehead came to rest gently against mine, and didn't move until the lift stopped.
When the lift opened, he didn't even spare a glance to the shreds of my former clothing on the floor, striding purposefully out into the hall.
Once inside his chambers, I looked around silently as he carried me through an antechamber, I had been there earlier.
But then further in were things I hadn't seen- a lounge, a closed door, then through an open archway, a large bedchamber. There he deposited me gently onto his bed, and very efficiently disrobed himself. I admired his body as he moved, watching his muscles tense and relax as he removed the tunic.
When he shed his undershirt finally, my desire slowly woke again at the sight of him. I took a deep breath to steady myself as I drank in his visage.
His broad chest and shoulders a massive expanse of corded muscle, and long, strong arms flexing and twitching as he worked at his pants. Where one could say he lacked in definition, he made up in shear size. The way his body could completely eclipse and envelope me, was almost indescribable. As if nothing in the world could reach me unless he willed it.
I'd tried to smother it, tried to replace it even. But locking him out, blocking the connection, I had only created a dormant volcano. The moment I saw him again, it began to rumble and shake. His touch, an eruption. The force, the power, the heat of it, was completely undeniable. There was no repressing it.
I felt no shame, because I did care for Poe. I didn't regret anything. But I knew unshakably in my bones, this is where I was meant to be. By his side.
I wished it hadn't taken so long to realize that was the truth.
It took him short moments, and he was back peeling the cloak from my body. I almost whined at the loss of warmth, but he lifted me again, holding my nude form snugly against him without barrier this time.
With my face to his bare chest, I could hear the steady thumping of his heart against my ear.
He carried me into an adjoining fresher, sitting me on the countertop, then turning on the shower.
He returned to the vanity, opening a drawer and pulling out something neatly packaged. Three small boxes, which he opened and handed each to me one at a time to smell. He didn't have to speak, I knew already what he was asking. I wondered how long he'd had the soaps there waiting for me.
"Too long." He supplied softly into my mind.
I picked one that smelled fruity and sweet, because it was the only of the scents I somewhat recognized. He handed it to me to hold, then lifted me again and carried me into the now refreshingly hot water.
He finally let me down on my own two feet again. With his emotions settling, I could feel he now wanted to attend by body with such tenderness and devotion I thought I might be brought to tears again.
He took the soap from my hands and lathered it in the water, leaving the bar on a ledge next to his, spending the duration of the shower caressing and cleaning every inch of my body with his hands.
With unspeakable care, he gently slid his fingers between my sore folds, washing away the sticky mess slathered all over my nether region. He gently kissed over every bite he'd left behind, his lips feather soft on the reddened, abused skin.
My core coiled and warmed again, how hopelessly I loved and craved all he was. Rough and wild, but so deliberate and tender too. He was a very complicated man. But I wanted all of it. It felt so good to give in, to let these feelings take hold of me.
His eyes flicked up to mine, he sensed my desire. It magnified and grew, reverberating between us in the bond.
His member grew hard against my belly, and I could feel the slickness begin leaking from me again. He had taken before, and now he wanted to give. He turned me around, my nipples instantly erect at contact with the cold metal wall.
He crowded into me again, his lips warm as his tongue salved my neck, one hand pulling me back against him and snaking around my waist, the other dancing up my abdomen to cup my uninjured breast and tweak the nipple.
With a small gasp of pleasure and approval, I relaxed and surrendered again to his will.
As one hand continued to roam and grope my upper body, the other delved into my sex again, rubbing at my clit and teasing at my entrance. He knew what I wanted instantly, and didn't make me beg this time.
He stooped slightly, spreading me from behind. I felt his hot tip lined up at my opening, then with a leisurely push, he buried himself inside me again. As he pushed into me, he stood to his full height with one arm around my hips pulling me up with him until his cock was fully seated in my throbbing pussy as he pressed me into the wall.
I was already sore from the rough turbolift rutting, but it was like rubbing out an overworked muscle. His languid thrusts made me want to sob at the feeling of relief as my orgasm built steadily, then overtook me abruptly.
Without ceremony, he shut off the water and withdrew from me, much to my chagrin.
But he was filled with purpose, he was far from done. He folded a towel around himself, then began drying me, herding me back toward the bed.
When my heels hit the bed frame, he wordlessly pushed me down on my back and he kneeled next to the bed. He grabbed the back of my knees and dragged me to him, tossing them casually onto his shoulders as his face descended on my swollen cunt and he began devouring me like a man's last meal.
I cried out at the shock, still overwhelmingly sensitive from my orgasm just minutes ago, but being rushed to the precipice again.
I yanked at the blankets bunched in my fists as my hips bucked involuntarily into his face as I somehow managed to come again, my body racked with sensations far beyond coherent thought.
A vague inkling drifted through my mind of the first time he pleasured me in his bed. I wasn't sure how much more my body could take, but damned if I wouldn't find out.
He saw the memory a split second after I'd recalled it, and he obediently rose and tossed himself back down on the bed. I propped myself up and flipped over, admiring his imposing erection standing proudly waiting for me as I tossed a leg over his broad waist.
A noise of desire rumbled in his chest as he watched me grip his thick member with my small hand, notching it against my entrance.
He sighed loudly as I sunk down and sheathed his cock, and as he had once before, he pushed my trembling thighs further apart to get just a little deeper.
I don't think I would ever tire of the immensely full feeling, my walls struggling to stretch and accommodate his girth. I leaned forward over him and he cupped my ass with both hands, egging me on as I gyrated, lifting his head up to suck and nibble at my breasts as the tiny mounds giggled in his face.
Impossibly, another wave was building, readying to crash me into ecstasy again. He felt it immediately, and picked up pace beneath me, meeting my thrusts with persistence and groaning loudly beneath me.
I could feel him swelling again inside me, ready to fall into oblivion with me. My pussy pulsed and ached with the desire to be full of his cum again.
A long, white hot sensation ripped through my body from my toes to my scalp and I held on for dear life.
"Yes- Oh gods- Fuck yes-" I clung to him, my fingers fisted painfully tight in his hair as I cried out one final time, "Kylo!"
I felt a snap somewhere in the bond, as his hips jerked and he cried out equally loud in a forceful orgasm, burying his face in my chest.
The way his dick throbbed caused a delicious feeling inside me I couldn't describe.
He collapsed beneath me, and I atop him. I was so full I could feel the mixed spend leaking out already, even with him still inside me.
A sudden and intense myriad of feelings rushed around us on the tail of it- excitement, joy, adoration, disbelief. I was slightly confused, waiting for some explanation to bloom in my awareness.
Hesitance.
Then it came.
He recognized a final act of acceptance, that made this all truly real to him. Something simple that hadn't even occurred to me.
I called out his chosen name.
His thoughts were disordered and he couldn't put words to how it had made him feel. He gave up on the words.
His fingers lifted my chin to angle my face so his lips could claim mine in a painfully sweet kiss. When I finally looked into his eyes, they were so... vulnerable, lost, happy. I brought my hand up to caress his cheek, and his eyes fluttered closed to savor the contact.
"I love you. All of you." I whispered into his mind.
His eyes opened, his lips quivered again and his jaw clenched and unclenched.
"I love you, Rey. Until every star in the galaxy burns out, I'll love you. And if there is life beyond that, I'll love you then too." He proclaimed out loud, as if to emphasize the depth of his feeling.
I couldn't be sure how long I'd been asleep, but I hoped Kylo hadn't been awake watching me the whole time. He had gently prodded me awake, gathering me in his arms again and returning to the shower. My entire body felt gelatinous, and I was too tired to feel embarrassed about leaning against him for support.
I hardly opened my eyes, tempted to fall asleep standing as he methodically washed me again, but most especially when his fingers worked deftly through my hair and massaged my scalp.
Reluctantly, I leaned away from him to rinse the soap out of my hair, and finally opened my eyes. His face was passive, tugging me gently back into him as he leaned forward to cut the water off.
This time, he was much more relaxed and took his time drying us both, and I passed the time peppering light kisses across his collarbone and shoulders. Once finished, he led me out of the fresher then into a closet full of black. I smiled to myself. I expected no less, honestly.
He went to the very back and opened a small wardrobe.
Again, I was struck by how dedicated he was all this time. It wasn't a large assortment, and consisted of very practical garments, but they were very clearly several sizes too small to be his.
A little color came to his cheeks as he regarded me, turning away so I wouldn't see his face as he selected articles.
"You were so cold. I ordered them discreetly and kept them here in case you needed appropriate clothing." He murmured quietly.
I had hurt him at every turn, and here this man stood, with a wardrobe full of clothes with no other purpose but to be here for me in case I needed them.
I felt the tears sting at my eyes, but he pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me.
"Don't cry, Rey. You're here now, and all of it was worth it. Just like I knew it would be. All of that is behind us, there's no reason to look backward with regrets." He mumbled into my hair, kissing the crown of my head.
I sighed and pulled back with a sniffle, and he pushed the offending liquid away from my eyes with his thumbs before leaning in and planting a chaste kiss on my lips.
"Now, dress and I'll send for dinner. I know you're exhausted, I won't keep you awake long, but you need to eat." He handed me the items he'd selected and only paused briefly to pull on a set of black sweat pants of his own before striding out into his bedroom.
Once dressed, I wandered out into the lounge area and found Kylo stretched out on a chaise reading from a datapad. I sat beside his knees and pointed to the hairbrush sitting in his lap.
"Could I use that?" I asked.
He sat the pad down on the end table, spreading his legs and beckoning me to sit between them.
I complied, and didn't argue when I felt his intention to brush my hair. I blushed a little, picking at my fingers as he untangled and smoothed my hair carefully.
The door lock disengaged accompanied by the sound of a droid whirring quietly, bringing in a covered tray and depositing it on a small table nearby.
When we sat down to eat and he removed the cover, my anxiety surged. I didn't know what any of this was.
But, before I could worry over it, I felt the knowledge and recognition- even the taste and texture- trickle into my mind. I smiled. It reminded me of the way I'd absorbed some of his lightsaber training and technique. That felt like so long ago. Like a different world almost. That we could share things that went so far beyond a simple thought still left me in awe.
I had the wherewithal to still feel a bit low brow and inexperienced in comparison to him though. He had a much more diverse life, full of so many things I had- "Yet. Things you have yet to experience. But will." He finished my thought for me, effectively derailing my woe. The way he looked at me through his lashes as he ate a piece of muja fruit made my insides tremble.
I stabbed a thick brown chunk with some kind of sauce on my fork. I now knew it was Chandrillian tendermeat, and that it was one of his favorites. When I took a bite, my toes curled in delight and I groaned softly to myself. I had never tasted something so good in all my life.
I looked up at Kylo, to find a full on smile on his face as he watched me. My cheeks burned red in embarrassment, and I tried to fight the nervous smile threatening my lips. Had I ever seen him smile? Certainly not like that. Breathless and happy.
I tried to ignore it and devoured at least one of everything with enthusiasm. I had forgotten how hungry I was. I couldn't even remember when my last meal was. His elation was consistent, and he watched me quietly, idly eating his fruit.
Something occurred to me suddenly. "My bag!" I exclaimed, my eyes darted to meet his in panic.
His brows furrowed in confusion, but the image in my mind of the bag's contents slid across the bond before I realized it.
He chuckled loudly.
"I have plenty of sweaters, it's okay if you lost it. You're welcome to claim a different one if you want."
I pouted, ducking my head to eat the little custard again. It was foreign and uncomfortable to share my vulnerabilities with someone in such an intimate way. It made me feel childish.
"I think it's sweet, that you treasured it secretly. I'm flattered that you had such a sentimental attachment to something of mine." His warm tone smoothed my frayed nerves.
I guess I could live with that.
When I finished eating, a large yawn escaped me.
"Come on, rest up for tomorrow." He murmured, holding my hand lazily as we made our way back to the bedroom.
I climbed in beside him, and wordlessly he knew what I wanted again. He pulled me in snug against his chest, face to face. His hand worked through my semi dry hair, peppering my face with soft kisses.
It made my heart hurt in a strange way.
It was so nice it brought tears to my eyes. I felt safe. Not terrified, and alone, and desperate.
His lips found mine with overwhelming tenderness. I melted into his embrace, his affection, his love.
When he pulled away, he nestled me against his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head.
"I've got you. You're mine now. You'll never be alone again, and you'll never want for anything. I promise." He whispered as I drifted off.
I was confident I was the most thoroughly loved woman in all of the galaxy.
