Chapter 1

The heroism of Mitachurl

Aether probably should have investigated this lead way before, but he ultimately went for it after being frustrated from being stranded in Liyue. The Inazuma archon seemed to be way more inline in leaving trespassers out of her domain than the adepti.

He was curious as to how the abyss mages seemed to have pretty good plans despite how the people in teyvat insulted others intelligence by comparing them to that of hilichurls. It could have been that there actually was some sort of intelligent being lending them a hand?

So… he followed that lead and wore one of the masks he filched from one of them after one of their many, many fights and infiltrated them in a move of great success. Turns out, the hilichurls were as dumb as bricks.

He rose the ranks by replacing masks with who-over seemed to gain the regards of his newest companions and followed the bread trial to his sister in the most unexpected turn of events.

"Lumine?! What are you doing here?! I was searching all over for you!"

"Oh, it's you, big bro. Long time no see."

His little sister was sitting on a throne embellished with rotten meat, fruits and vegetables. The 'throne' was made of a whole lot of miscellaneous junk that the hilichurls somehow loved. It was truly the case of one man's trash being another man's treasure.

She looked… pretty cheerful for someone cubed out of existence. There was no existential dread or crisis, there were no injuries or some sort of ticking time bomb that would kill her. She was just… the princess of the order that was the enemy of the world!

"Why join them?! You're… actually leading these guys?!"

After all those abyss mages, he felt like he would get instantly triggered if he heard another Ran Ran Ru. She was even lying down in that pose of those inferral fuckers.

Him feeling betrayed was a bit of an understatement.

"Aether, maybe we can stay in this world for some more time? You can visit the rest of the world and meet the rest of the archons.

I…

I have a harem here!"

Lumine looked like she had a sugar rush.

"…Wait, what?! But you can't even speak the same language as they do?! They're monsters?! How would this even work?!

Have they put a hand on my baby sister?! I ought to kill them! What did they do to you?!

Why?! Did they put some sort of mind controlling power on you?! The abyss order despises humans- they must be tricking you-"

"Aether, you're just jealous you don't have a harem.

They call me princess! They wanted to talk with me so much that they learned to speak my language! Have you seen how buff the Mitachurls or the Lawrachurls look like?! They're freaking hunks!-"

He really didn't want to hear his sister gush on an on about her supposed harem. It looked like the two parties in questions weren't even aware of each other's intentions. The abyss order wanted to fulfill Lumine's wishes as she was their leader and Lumine wanted to spoil them with affection and tender loving care tm. It seemed like they were her eye candy and the hilichurls even offered their slime pets to her, and they were pretty cute when they weren't interrupting his attacks or targeting him.

The abyss order wanted their princess to lead them for a long long time, and Lumine wanted to shower them with affection and keep her harem for a long long time. Somehow, they were both ultimately aiming for world domination and they couldn't communicate with each other in the least bit.

Not if Aether had anything to say about it. His cute little sister's innocence wasn't going to be tarnished by those monsters! He would save his sister from their claws- was his solemn declaration as he turned a blind eye from his sister molesting a hydro mage. The mage was turned into a squeaky toy as it pushed a bubble onto him and they two laughed happily for different reasons.

Aether would definitely not ship them.


"You're a harbinger right, Childe?"

"My, my, comrade. You've already forgotten? Did our battle in the golden house knock your head into an amnesia? Did you turn into a goldfish after fishing for golden bass near the bubu pharmacy? It's a mighty shame."

Aether didn't bother with the snips, he went straight to the heart of the matter with the tall dude in front of him who had a look of curiosity from being sought out by him with that look of urgency.

"Surely, you must be familiar with covert operations?"

"Yes, I don't prefer it, but I am a harbinger after all. It's all baby stuff."

"How do you think you can fare playing out the honey pot? I got a great proposal for you that would let you take down one of your guys' enemies so that you could reduce at least one of your Tsaritsa's enemies."

"…You want me to seduce hilichurls? Do they even have courtship rituals or flirting?"

"No, well. It's my sister."

"Your sister is a hilichurl? You're a hilichurl? You… look human to me.

Am I a hilichul? Are we all hilichurls? Are they not hilichurls if we are hilichurls?"

"Wait, wait. You're going to the deep end, Childe. It's not that! My little sis is way too cute to be a hilichurl. The problem is, she thinks that hilichurls are cute…

I don't think they are cute."

"Love is blind, kiddo.

If your sister wants to fuck a hilichurl, you should find out what is a hilichurl's idea of a condom.

….Wait, weren't you searching for your sister?-"

"First of all, that ain't happening.

Second of all, yeah. I found her recently by accident, but she didn't really give me the time to celebrate the occasion. She said she made a harem out of the abyss order-"

"Aether, dude. Your sister is amazing."

"No! You don't get it! If your sister wants to elope with hilichurls and make mini hilichurls, I bet you won't be in the peanut gallery either!

So help me! Seduce her!"

"I'm against incest."

"Aargh! That's not what I meant. I mean, get her to think maybe humans aren't that bad for romantic interests. That monster fucking isn't the only route for her!"

"Are you just saying this because your little sis would be mad that you were going on a killing spree with her lovers…?"

"Yes- I mean no! I don't regret it. Why are you so against this anyway? I don't like the idea either, but I'm giving you explicit permission to flirt with my little sister temporarily."

"I've not even seen her face."

"Oh, she is cute. No doubt about that. Anyway, doesn't it work for you guys too? Everyone in Teyvat is against the abyss order and you guys are too. So if you manage to leave them a power vacuum, you can reduce the aggro towards the fatui and help your Tsaritsa reach her goal faster-"

"Power vacuum…?"

"… They call her princess…"

"Kiddo, I don't like breaking up true love. Besides, it's your kid sister's romance. You're talking about breaking a kid's heart. That's too mean spirited for me. I don't bully my little sister.

I won't help you bully yours either.

I haven't even heard about the abyss order flirting with humans. Clearly, your sister is the exception. This love is pretty mutual. They even have a heart to heart connection. They can't even speak each other's language."

Seeing the traveller's kicked puppy expression, Childe sighed and said.

"…Ok, but only since you insisted so much. If I see that they're a jerk to her or they're messing with her, I'll help you give them the shovel talk."

"Childe, you're the best!"


"I know my big brother. This is his idea of setting us up for a blind date, isn't it?

He doesn't approve of our love, does he?"

Lumine's doe-like eyes looked through the 11th harbinger's soul as it discerned the true nature of the matter.

"Hahaha, now, now. Calm down, little missie. Your bro's just worried about you.

You can think of it as getting to know about his friend circle too."

"You mean there'll be more of these?!"

"I'm pretty sure he'll keep at it."

Childe looked at her, wondering if she knew the reason behind the abyss order's infamy. She looked like she saw them through rose-tinted glasses.

As the ginger assessed her, Lumine gave him a once over and gave a sigh of disappointment.

"You're pretty scrawny."

"Excuse me?!"

"My boi is hulk personified. He's a hunk and his abs can shred iron and melt butter. He's buffed." She sighed dreamily.

Childe… had a feeling that he knew where Aether was coming from. Seeing the other gape at her, she took the kamera that she got as a gift from a grenader that swiped it from some sad passerby. Then she showed pictures of a mitachurl flexing, each following pics turning more and more risqué.

"All right! That's quite enough, little missie!"

Tmi, TMI, TMI, TMI, TMI!

But she wasn't listening to him. Her attention was immediately captured by the Mitachurl outside whose ears were fluttering cutely at her smile aimed at him.

"What's his name?"

"I call him Valorem.

You know…

I knew him from when he was a hilichurl. There were no mitachurls in the tribe and no one to protect the camp and no purpose to strive for. One of the outriders sniped the older chieftan, so the cohesion of the tribe was broken. The ones who had escaped did so after abandoning everything they had made for themselves, and they did so with the protection of the late chief. They're not bound by ties of blood, but what we have is stronger than that.

There was nothing left, not even the axe that they all worshipped that was the beacon that led the chieftan's way to a bigger and bigger camp. None of the abyss mages from that tribe was left, so there was no one who would tell them tales of their past glory or fairy tales or their hopes and dreams to a better land… The mages would be telling stories until the rest of them went to sleep for a brighter tomorrow.

Valorem decided he'd become the next chief, braving into human territory. His dream was to become a Lawrachurl. Whenever I see a mask left behind, I always wonder if it is one less Valorem and one less bastion for the hilichurls to seek shelter under. There would be no more dances and celebration for rotten meat or broken swords and shields. They were the material that humans would reject, and hence welcome by us.

Valorem saw many of the hilichurls leave their pride behind as they turned to dust… Every time he had some to call family, those blasted knights of the Favonius would invade the camps and leave nobody behind. Sometimes I had to rush into the camp to see Valorem turning to dust. But he's tied to me as I am to him, so I'll be his tie to the world. There's at least one of us that can stay with him.

I've seen him grow into a Mitachurl and gain the strength to protect. Now, instead of his comrades distract people to their side to change the direction of attack… The old samachurls that protected their comrades by healing them, winds trapping them to one location, higher ground to keep them away from attacks… He can charge straight into the vanguard, protecting the ones who have faced loss far longer than he did.

Nowadays, he seemed to fine if he remains a Mitachurl. He wants his strength to reach the skies and make his name ring into the hearts of all those around him. He was going to make his axe more powerful than anything humans could wield as it was an extension of himself.

That's why I don't want big bro to give him the short end of the stick without ever getting to know him."

"A warrior who strives to be stronger, strong enough to protect family. And one that aimed to keep honing oneself into a sharper blade too, huh?

How would you fare against me?"

Lumine's kamera had been left behind, a photo of a hilichurl and a girl lifting a heavy axe with great exertion shone in the abandoned room.

His blades made elegant curves in the air bringing ribbons of water to flutter in the wind. The Mitachurl couldn't even lift its axe and with nary a swan dance, it vaporized into dust. Lumine's feet reached the ground, having come too late.


"What covert operations, what honey pot?! You just went in there guns blazing!" Aether screeched as he saw Lumine turn death lasers at the man who was supposed to sweet-talk her into giving people a chance when he came at the end of their 'date'.

"So, I checked out her date and have come to a conclusion. He's pretty weak."

"Didn't you say you wanted to know his character before you would decide whether you would try to flirt with her?!" Aether suddenly realized why the harbingers would try to send Childe way off from Snezhnaya for damage control.

Childe tilted his head in utter confusion. When he was a child, he also put himself in death's maws in the abyss to achieve the same goal. If they needed to fulfil that same goal, the least that Mitachurl could do was to stave off his blows…

The traveller thought that maybe the road to his current goal was a long way off.

"Anyway, she said she had a harem right? If you both are going that far, I could do something to make up for it.

I can give the other members a look too if you'd like."

Would he give this battle fanatic another try at utterly destroying her love interest? If he went this route, maybe she would actually give up on humanity and become the demon lord.

"At the bright side, I don't think she thinks of me as scrawny. Seriously, all that muscles in that Mitachurl are all just useless lumps of fat-"

"You shut up."