A/N: Spock Jr. notices that Lucas is acting differently since coming back from landing party duty. This story deals a little with PTSD. Also, Spock and Christine have a big misunderstanding. Oh boy, Christine, you may have blown it.

Chapter Six

"You Can Always Hope"

Five and a half months in space and Captain Kirk felt they had not accomplished much. They just delivered two fighting ambassadors from two regions of the Benshaw Quadrant to a peace accord. The arguments that ensued on the Enterprise finally forced him to restrict them to their quarters for the final two days of travel. He was glad he wasn't involved in that peace accord. His job was to deliver them and he had.

They plotted their next course to Starbase 7. A few repairs were required and they had a shipment of deliveries to drop off and to pick up.

McCoy was on the Bridge complaining about the list of supplies that either didn't arrive in his sick bay or they were the wrong ones.

"I should know better than to let Starfleet be in control of my sick bay."

"Bones, you're preaching to the choir. Save your complaints." Kirk said.

Bones continued to mumble to himself.

Starbase 7 came into view. The base was a city within itself. Self supporting except for special deliveries from passing ships.

Kirk said, "Captain Kirk to Starbase 7, come in."

"Starbase here, Captain."

"Request permission to enter the space dock."

"Permission granted, Captain. How good is your Helmsman?'

Kirk looked questioningly at Sulu who was mumbling under his breath. "We have the best of the bunch."

"Good, we'll have to back you in, we're doing repairs on the other bay door. Slow and easy, Captain."

Kirk looked at Sulu with a twinkle in his eye and said, "You heard the man, slow and easy Lieutenant."

"Captain…I…"

"Never mind."

"Aye, Sir."

Kirk said, "Uhura, open the rear screens and give Sulu a view."

She laughed and said, "Aye, Sir."

Sulu could be heard grumbling.

Kirk said, "Bring her about, Lieutenant."

Sulu slowly turned the Enterprise around. He aligned her with the bay opening and slowly backed her in. "I'm tempted to push the thrusters, sir."

"I understand, Sulu, but we'd destroy their bay door."

"Aye, Captain."

Kirk smiled as Sulu perfectly pulled her into dock. "Couldn't have done it better myself, Sulu."

"Who was that guy, sir?"

"Carry on, Sulu."

Kirk said to the base, "Permission to dock?"

"Dock sides are prepared. Docking is attached. You may cut your engines."

"Well, Scotty, do as the man says, cut your engines."

"Captain, …"

"Yes, Mr. Scott, you and Sulu have my sympathy."

Kirk looked at Mr. Spock. "Spock tell our shipping crew to assist in delivering the goods. Dr. McCoy, do they have your supply list."

"Yes, Captain. They received it four days ago."

"Good. Gentlemen, I'll be in my quarters. After unloading, all unnecessary personnel can have shore leave."

Dr. McCoy walked between Spock and the Captain and said, "You two are planning on a little shore leave, I hope."

Kirk and Spock looked at each other. McCoy said, "Don't be shy boys, I could make it doctors orders. Besides, I know a couple of ladies who would like some time alone with you two."

Kirk said, "Spock you go first. I have a boat load of work to catch up on."

"Captain, I would prefer…"

"No, that's an order, Spock. Rest and relaxation for all."

McCoy said, "That's better. I like it when the officers on this ship listen to me. Makes me feel important."

"Well, let us not deny his ego, Mr. Spock."

Spock nodded and proceeded to finish with his instructions. Kirk walked back to his office and dreaded the work ahead of him.

He was organizing what to do first when his door buzzed.

"Enter," he said and didn't look up.

"Captain," it was SJ.

"Hello, Ensign, how can I help you?"

He stood at attention in front of his desk. "I have something I wish to discuss with you, sir."

"At ease, Ensign, go ahead."

He looked at the Captain and said, "Sir, since Lucas came back from Desperian and was sick, he's been different."

"Different, how different?"

"More quiet, sir. He doesn't want to eat in the mess hall. He usually is the first one in the simulators and the last to leave. He hasn't practiced in two weeks."

"How is his performance on duty."

"Fine, sir, but I am concerned."

Kirk said, "I see. Has Joanna noticed it, too?"

"Yes sir, she has spoken of it to me."

"Is he on duty right now?"

"No sir, but I don't know where he's at."

"I see. Thank you, Ensign Spock, I'll check into it."

"Sir, could you keep this confidential?"

"Of course."

"Thank you."

SJ left and Kirk thought of his son. He hadn't seem him in…how long? He stood up and left his quarters. First he went to Lucas's quarters, but he wasn't there. The only other place he thought he'd be, would be the hanger deck. He went to the shuttle deck where his son's assigned Shuttle 12 was located. No one was in the area, but he noticed a small light on in Shuttle 12. He walked up to the vessel and saw the side door was open. He stuck his head inside and saw Lucas sitting in the cockpit.

"Lucas?" the Captain asked.

Lucas spun around from the pilots seat. "Oh, hello, Captain." He tried to stand, and his father held up his hand.

"What are you doing here?"

"I am examining all of the components and made a list of some of the one's we're low on."

Kirk stepped inside and sat next to him. He looked at his blue eyes trying to penetrate his thoughts.

"Come with me."

Kirk waited until he closed the side door and led his way back to his private quarters. "Come on in. Have a seat by the window."

Lucas nodded and slid into a chair.

"Can I offer you some coffee or something stronger?"

Lucas looked at him and answered, "Coffee, sir."

"Relax, you're not in trouble." Kirk brought each a cup of coffee. "I haven't seen you in awhile. I've left a few messages."

"You've been busy, sir. I have been working, too."

When Lucas lifted his coffee to his lips his hands shook. "Have you had time to spend with Joanna?"

"Not much, sir."

"Can you both get shore leave together?"

"I don't know sir, I haven't talk with her yet."

"You're not fighting are you?" he teased.

"No."

They sipped their coffee, "Anything bothering you lately?"

"No, sir, why?"

"You…." Just then his intercom buzzed. He reached for the intercom.

"Yes?"

"Captain, Admiral Johnson is on the intercom."

"Pipe it down here, Uhura."

"Yes, Captain."

"I'm sorry, Lucas. We'll finish later."

Lucas was out of the room before he finished his sentence.

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Join me for dinner tonight, Captain?"

"Can we make it tomorrow, I'm on duty."

"Sure. Seventeen hundred hours in my quarters."

"Yes, sir, I'll be there."

Kirk went back to work, but knew something was wrong with his son.

After an hour of making mistakes he gave up. He pushed the intercom, "Kirk to Dr. McCoy?"

"Here, Jim."

"Are you done yelling at the suppliers and have a minute?"

"I can squeeze in a few minutes between insults. I'll be right there."

Shortly, McCoy was at his door. "What's up, my friend."

"Have a seat."

"This is serious."

"Not sure. Someone pointed out to me that Lucas has not been acting himself. Have you gotten wind of it?"

"No, not a thing. Can you give me specifics?"

Kirk sighed, "This is off the record."

"Okay, shoot."

"Since the catastrophe on Desperian, he's not been acting himself. Not being involved with his crew mates and not practicing in the simulators like he used to. I've tried to reach him several times in the last month, but I guess I was too busy to notice more time had passed and he never responded."

"Are you trying to tell me you think he's depressed?"

"I don't know, Bones, you're the doctor?"

McCoy thought, "Usually we hold post trauma meetings after an incident, but we let that one slide because we were all sick. I neglected to hold a meeting. That's my fault, Jim. I wasn't paying attention."

"I don't know if I'm barking up the wrong tree, but when I found him today, he was just sitting in his shuttle. He claimed he was taking inventory, but he was just sitting there. I asked him if he and Joanna were taking shore leave and he said he hadn't spoken to her, yet."

McCoy stood up, "Don't worry about it, Jim. I'll look into it, discreetly."

"Thanks, Bones."

Kirk finished a few hours of work and returned to the Bridge to check on things. Sulu was still grumbling about the Starbase officer questioning his ability. "Sulu, if you don't let this go, I'll confine you to the ship. I don't want any trouble over there."

"Aye, Captain. I'll be careful."

"Yes, you will."

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Reluctantly, Spock agreed to shore leave with Christine. He found no respite in wondering around a Starbase. He stood in their quarters as Christine got ready.

"Spock, there are shows, there are gardens, libraries and stores."

"Christine, is this where I say, 'yes, dear' and go along?"

She turned to him quickly and said, "Who told you to say that?"

Spoke who was incapable of lying said, "The Captain."

"Oh, you spoke to the Captain and he said to say, 'yes, dear'? When did you talk to him, and about what?"

Spock did not have a chance to answer one question before another was thrown at him. He cleared his throat and proceeded cautiously, "Christine."

"Don't, Christine me, Spock…"

Spock abruptly took a step towards her and put his hands on her arms. "Wife, before this escalates, let's slow down and start over."

"Spock, I can't believe you went and talked to the Captain, but you hollered at me when you assumed I had done the same thing with those young crew women. How fair is that?"

Spock did what he thought would help. He tried to pull her closer, but instead she leaned back and slapped him. Spock glared at her.

"Spock," she whispered, "I'm, I'm sorry." She went to him but he took a step back. He turned and left their quarters.

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McCoy returned to sick bay and looked for his daughter. She was inventorying what had just been delivered and was organizing it in cupboards.

He fell into his Southern accent. "What are ya, doin' darlin'?"

"Trying to put this stuff away before you start yelling at someone to do it."

"Aren't you going on shore leave, you're off duty?"

She looked up from a cupboard, "I haven't been able to reach, Lucas. I thought we'd go together." She stood up and glanced towards her father.

"Is there something the matter, Joanna?"

She hesitated and looked around. "Dad, can we talk in your office?"

After explaining her observations to her father, Dr. McCoy said, "I'll see if I can get him to talk about things. I'll let you know."

"Good luck, Dad," and he nodded.

McCoy said into the ship wide intercom, "Dr. McCoy to Ensign Kirk." A long pause and then he answered.

"Ensign can you come down to sick bay before you leave for shore leave?"

"Uh, yes sir, I'm running at the track right now, I'll shower and be right there. Out."

Ensign Kirk walked into sick bay as Dr. McCoy stood near the charge desk. He looked up and said, "Come with me," and he pointed to his office.

"Have a seat, Lucas." He waited until he was settled and said, "I have to apologize to you, usually after a traumatic incident we have a meeting after and talk about things. Then we all became sick and I let it slip my mind."

Lucas did not respond, but Dr. McCoy observed his hands trembling.

"Have you had any trouble sleeping or loss of appetite?"

He shook his head in denial.

"Do you feel you're performing on duty like you always do?"

Finally he responded, "Doctor, I know what my duty is, and I am performing as required. Have you heard differently?"

"No, Lucas, these are things we go over after a situation like we found on Desperian. We're just starting a new voyage and…."

"Has there been a problem with me?' he said defensively.

"Lucas, I'm trying to help you here."

"Help me, sir? Help me with what? Has Lt. Commander Sedgewick been talking to you?"

"What would he be talking to me about?"

Lucas stood abruptly and said, "My business is my business. I assure you, I am performing my duties as required. Anything more, sir?"

"No, not now." McCoy knew there was a problem, but he was not the one to get him to talk.

McCoy went to Joanna's quarters and talked with her. "Now, I can't force you to get him to talk, but he and I have a different relationship. He may fear I'll run to his father with every detail he tells me, so you could try or I'll call in Dr. Avenshire."

"Let me try, Dad. I'll see if I can get him to go on shore leave. Maybe a change of scenery will help, too."

After many attempts at trying to reach Lucas through his friends and short of banging on his cabin door, she went to the Transporter Room. The officer of the day was at his post beaming crew mates to the starbase.

"Sir, can you tell me if Ensign Lucas Kirk has transported over?"

He paused and read through the list. "Yes, he left an hour ago, Doctor."

"Thank you, sir."

On the verge of anger she went in search of SJ. SJ was working on a private project in his quarters. She explained to him a little of what had happened.

"SJ, I'm worried he'll get into trouble over there. We're under strict orders not to embarrass the Captain."

He stood and said, "Let's go."

If Joanna had not been so worried about Lucas, she would have been mesmerized by the Starbase. It was a wonderful place to work and relax. The design teams had thought of everything. However, there were a 100 bars, cafes and restaurants on the base, and it was taking a long time to cover them.

SJ finally said, "We have to split up. You take these on decks 7,9,11 and 14. I'll try 15 on up. Keep in touch."

It was time consuming to find the business and go inside and look around. Over the intercom an order was being given, "Security to deck 19, hall 7.

SJ called Joanna on his communicator. "Joanna, did you hear that?'

"Yes, do you suppose it's him?"

"I'll meet you there." They both left from their decks and found the bar. No one was being let in, but there was a lot of commotion coming from the door.

SJ said to the one guard, "What's going on in there?"

"Just a disturbance between some visiting Starfleet officers and our own."

SJ asked, "Could you let me in, sir. It could be one of my friends and I could help, sir."

"Go ahead," Joanna started to enter too, but he blocked her, "No Doctor, not yet."

"But they may need medical assistance."

"I'll let you know, I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

The noise from inside subsided except for a few loud voices. The door opened and SJ was shoved out by a security guard. "Keep him here, he's interfering."

Joanna looked at him and said, "What happened?"

"It's Lucas, he's drunk and disorderly. But there are a lot of our shipmates involved, the Captain is going to be furious."

Joanna turned to the guard outside and asked, "Where will they be taken?'

"The brig, Doctor."

She looked at SJ and said, "I'm not familiar with protocol, what will happen?"

"Right now, they'll contact the ship."

They waited in the hall until all of those arrested came out. The most angry was Lucas. He was still cursing the base commanders and all that worked here. Joanna stepped toward him and called his name.

He glanced at her, but was shoved down the hall in hand cuffs. Blood was dripping down his face from his nose.

"Come on, Joanna, there is nothing we can do now."

They beamed aboard the Enterprise just as Captain Kirk and Lt. Sulu were preparing to beam down.

Kirk stopped them and asked, "Were you two in the bar when the fight broke out?

SJ answered, "No, sir we were trying to find, Lucas when we heard the call for security. They've been taken to the Brig."

"Very well, beam us over, Scotty."

"Aye, energizing."

Starbases always expect rowdy behavior when ships pull in for shore leave. However, the amount of damage done by Enterprises own, was significant. Admiral Johnson met Captain Kirk and Mr. Sulu in the Brig to try and help straightened it all out.

Finally Kirk rounded up his crew and he waited on the Enterprise for them to be beamed back. Sulu remained behind until the last crewman went up.

"Kirk to Lt. Samson."

"Aye, Sir."

"I'm sending a crew that got into a bar scuffle to the gym. I want you working them until they can not stand. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir, I'll take care of it."

"I'll be down later."

A short time later, Kirk showed up in the gym. It wreaked of sweat and vomit. "Okay, Samson, that's good."

"Attention," Samson called.

Eighteen crewman struggled to stand in a straight line and three were passed out on the floor. The next ten minutes were deafening.

When the Captain was done he commanded, "You will clean up this gym floor and you're all confined to quarters until further notice. You will also forfeit one half of one pay to pay for damages. Samson, have these three thrown in the brig to sleep it off. I'll see to them tomorrow. Take those on the floor to sick bay."

"Aye, sir."

Kirk walked over to the intercom and said, "Captain Kirk to crew, shore leave has been canceled. That is all."

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During all of the commotion Spock had retreated to the observation deck above the Bridge. It was reserved for senior officers only. He stood looking out the window observing the transport of goods and thought about his wife. When he heard the announcement of the canceled shore leave he returned to his quarters, making one stop on the way.

He walked into their private quarters and in his usual stance, with his arms behind his back, he called to her. "Christine."

She sat up from the couch that she had been laying on. "Spock." She slowly walked to him.

He held up one hand and showed his two fingers, "I have two things to say, Christine. Number one, don't ever do that again." He paused, and took a closer step, "number two, please accept this." He showed her a deep red rose that he had just purchase. "Let's talk."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she nodded. Spock had no idea why women loved dying foliage, but he brought her the rose anyway.

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Capt. Kirk went to his quarters. He had never been so angry at his crew as he was today. He was sure the Admiral would have more to say on the matter. He couldn't even think about Lucas.

He turned on the intercom, "Kirk to Bridge."

"Aye, Captain," Scotty answered.

"I'm back in my quarters, let me know if you need me."

"Aye, sir."

After resting for a few hours he relieved Mr. Scott for the rest of the night. Lt. Sulu came on duty in the morning to relieve him.

At 0600 hours he appeared in the Brig. To the security officers he said, "Open the doors, gentlemen."

Three force fields were opened and Kirk went in and dragged awake each officer and pushed them into the hall. He then stood in front of them and paced. Again the volume in the room increased and echoed from the tall ceilings. The three crewmen cringed at the sound of his voice.

"And finally, you are confined to quarters until further notice, you'll be on report obviously and will forfeit one half of one pay to pay for damages to the bar, there will also be 10 days of extra duties. Dismissed."

Kirk would not look at his son.

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Dinner that night with the Admiral went smooth. He was one of the few commanding officers who understood the psychology of shore leave and the possibilities of disobedience. He teased the Captain about it, and they enjoyed one of the best meals Captain Kirk had eaten in a long time.

"Jim, I hear your First Officer is now married."

"Yes, sir."

"And to a human, no less."

Kirk laughed, "They've known each other for years, Admiral. She's a great woman. They are a good match."

"What about you, Kirk? No woman for you, only the stars at night and the wind at your back?"

Kirk laughed, "I have a special lady, sir, but no promises, yet."

"Oh, good then. It does get lonely out here, doesn't it?"

"Yes, sir, it can."

"Jim, this has been a great visit. Will you be disembarking tomorrow?"

"Mr. Scott tells me one more full day."

"You're welcomed back at anytime. Oh by the way I was looking at the list of names involved in the ruckus and one had Kirk for a last name. Any relations?"

"Yes, my son."

He laughed, "I understand, I had a younger brother whom I was always hauling out of one scrape or another."

"I hope sir, that this will bring an end to his indiscretions."

"You can always hope. Good luck. See you another time, Jim."

They shook hands and he gave a sigh of relief when he left the Admiral's quarters.

Mr. Scott had them pulling out half a day early. Kirk could not retreat fast enough. He and Mr. Spock continued with orders from Starfleet. They were to go to the next quadrant to see what had run amok between Isidore 12 and the inhabitants of it's moon, Cerilian.

Kirk was in the command chair going over several daily reports from the engine room when his thoughts went back to Lucas. Dr. McCoy was taking charge of his medical review after he was released from his quarters in a few days.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three days after detention Joanna could not get Lucas to answer his door. She finally demanded a well check by her father and a security guard let her in.

"Lucas," she called

He picked his head up off the couch and looked up. Joanna was horrified by his face. Both eyes were almost shut, his lips were swollen and blood still was crusted on his chin. He was unshaven and disheveled.

"Lucas," she whispered. "Why didn't you ask for medical treatment?"

He could hardly speak for his lips were so swollen, "I just wanted to sleep."

She reached for him and said, 'You're coming with me to sick bay."

He shook his head, no, but she pulled him up. "I'll call for assistance if you don't come. You need to be looked at."

She walked him down to sick bay with many stares coming his way. Sadness wrapped around her heart, this strong, stubborn boy that she loved looked like he did not have a friend in the world, and had given up. When she walked into sick bay her father was astonished at the shape he was in.

"Get him on the table for an exam, Joanna." More quietly he said, "Contact the Captain."

After several minutes of exams, Dr. McCoy sent him to get showered. His vision would be blocked by the swelling and his mouth was in need attention. When he returned to bed, Dr. McCoy quietly fixed his wounds. When he was done and they were alone he asked, "Lucas, why didn't you call?"

"I don't know, Doc. I was confined, so I stayed."

"You know regulations do not require you to remain in your cabin when you are ill."

"But, I wasn't ill, sir, I was banged up a bit."

"Banged up, be darn. Have you eaten anything in three days?"

"Soup, sir, was all I could get down."

"We'll get you something more in a few minutes." McCoy looked up to see the Captain in the hall. "You have a visitor, but it's up to you."

"Who?"

"The Captain."

"Sure, I can't see him scowl at me anyway."

McCoy waved him in and made sure no one bothered them.

"Lucas," he whispered. Not a speck of his blue eyes showed through the swelling. "I…"

"I think I zigged when I should have zagged," he tried to smile.

"Dr. McCoy said you have two broken ribs, but they'll heal. All the rest will take time."

Kirk sat down next to him and took his hand. "Lucas, what, why, I don't even know what to say, son."

"I'll be fine, sir. You should see the other guy."

"It's not funny, Lucas."

"No, I guess not."

"You've not been yourself. Do you know that?"

"I guess."

"I want you to talk with Dr. Avenshire."

"Who's he?"

"He's our resident psychologist, you'll like him."

"Why? Because you think I'm crazy?"

"Lucas, you know better than that. I even had to use the service of Dr. Avenshire, a couple of times."

Lucas lifted his face so he could see his father's face. "You?"

"Lucas, you go to a dentist when your teeth hurt, a doctor when you're ill, why not a psychologist when your mind and heart need a little tweaking. It wasn't a pleasant thing you saw on Desperian."

"It didn't bother you, sir."

"How do you know?"

Lucas shook his head for a second and said, "Dad, I…," and his shoulders shook as he tried to hold back the tears. His hands covered his face as he cried. His father held him in his arms.

"It's okay, Lucas. It's okay."

The staff left them alone, until Dr. McCoy sent Miriam in. She walked up to the Captain and touched his hand. He sat up and nodded to her.

"Jim, let's go get a meal and let Lucas sleep. They want to put him in a private room"

"I think I should stay."

"He'll sleep for awhile, they'll come find us when he wakes up."

He nodded and met Dr. McCoy at the door. "Bones?"

He walked him down the hall and said, "PTSD. Post traumatic stress syndrome."

Kirk nodded as he remembered the worst year of his life. He was going through a divorce, a good friend was killed, along with many others he was with in an interplanetary mission. It was a year of hell he didn't think he'd pull out from.

While Lucas slept they rolled him into a private room. Joanna sat next to him and laid her head on his bed. She stroked his face and whispered softly to him "I'm keeping you in my heart, you'll stay there forever."

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The Captain and Miriam had lunch in his quarters. He was quiet and she left him to his thoughts. He picked at his food, so Miriam took his hand and led him to the couch. They sat next to each other with his arm around her. Kirk dozed off and she left.

When he awoke he freshened up and went to his desk. He gave orders to let the other crewman back to work, with an extra work load and the deduction in pay. Lucas would finish his time in sick bay.

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Lucas woke with Joanna facing him. She said, "Hello, sleepy head."

He smiled as best he could. His eyes were still slits. "Where am I?"

"We moved you to a private room, so you could rest better."

The day became clearer to Lucas and he covered his face, "Oh my gosh, I broke down in front of everyone didn't I? What must my dad think, and your father, he'll…."

"Lucas, listen to me. Just about everyone on this ship has been in the same situation that you have. It's part of the job, and we can treat it, but you have to look into it's ugly face and stare it down in order to get better. You'll be released tomorrow if your eyes are better, and they will be. We'll set up a series of appointments with Dr. Avenshire and put you on some medication."

"No, Joanna! My dad, your dad, what about my record?"

Captain Kirk appeared at Joanna's side and spoke, "Doctor, can I have a word with, Lucas?"

"Of course, Captain."

Kirk sat in the chair and rubbed his son's arm. He then began the long story of his struggle with PTSD. When he was done, Lucas had a better idea of what to expect and the light at the tunnel grew a bit brighter.