A/N: I guess you guys felt bad for Kaidan! Me too. Lauren isn't very good with tact. This chapter was fueled by two One Republic songs, Counting Stars and If I Lose Myself. I think you'll find those themes running through this fun chapter. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!
Lauren awoke early and got ready for work. Today they would be running in the combat simulator, just as they did several times a week. Normally that would make for a great day, but she hadn't been able to shake the funk she felt since she got home from the Alenko's house yesterday.
Kaidan hadn't really done anything that she should be upset about. He didn't say anything sappy or sentimental. She just had a gut feeling and shut him down just in case it was right. If she were honest with herself, she did care about him, but he was like her best friend. She valued the time they spent together talking everything and nothing, but that was it, she said to herself.
Stupid Kaidan...she was perfectly fine and over that old teenage crush she had had on him until he held her hand and looked at her that way. Now her thoughts strayed to those old emotions. He just had to go and mess things up. But there wasn't any two ways about it. She would see him again, she had to, so Lauren determined to act like nothing happened.
She opened up her console to check her messages and a new one appeared that caught her attention. It was from Anderson. It was an invitation for everyone on the Normandy project to come to a New Year's Eve party. After the scare with the two rogue turians, Lauren agreed this would be good for morale. She typed in her acceptance quickly and grabbed her stuff to catch the early transport. Maybe then she wouldn't have to face Kaidan until they were at work.
x-X-x
Kaidan had barely slept and he felt stupid for it. His mind kept replaying those few moments that he was outside with Lauren. He had thought there was a flash of something in her eyes during the brief minute he held her hand. He hadn't tried to come off so strong, but he really didn't think he had...he thought he was just testing the water...only to find it too cold. She certainly made that clear.
But as she walked away onto the transport, she looked sad. Why did she look sad? Was she angry with him? After all this time of keeping himself so easily in check, did he let a snowy Christmas sentimental moment ruin their perfectly comfortable friendship?
He poured his coffee and let out an audible sigh.
"Good morning, Kaidan. Did you sleep well?" The deep voice of Aaron Alenko sounded behind him.
"Yeah, Dad...fine," Kaidan lied.
"Never got to say to you before you went to bed...that Lauren Shepard...what rank is she?"
"Commander. She's a commander now. Just promoted."
Aaron coughed. "Well, I was going to say she was a nice girl, despite your protestations that there was nothing between you, but I don't need to tell you she's your superior officer."
"I know, Dad." Kaidan was getting annoyed. He didn't need this today. "I need to get going. I don't want to be late." He left the house knowing he was actually running early. Maybe then he wouldn't have to face Lauren on the transport...until there she was sitting in the usual place.
Taking a breath, he sat down beside her. "Hey," he said, in a successful attempt at sounding normal.
"Hi Kaidan, thanks again for the nice day yesterday. My family was never much for celebrating Christmas and it was a nice change of pace."
"Yeah, my dad liked you. He told me so this morning." Kaidan found himself straining to think of something to say.
Lauren shifted in her seat. "So did you check your messages today? Did you see your invitation?"
Kaidan shook his head. "I kind of got up late."
"You're on the early transport with me," Lauren smiled.
He couldn't help but smile at being pointed out like that. "I just hadn't looked. What's it for?"
"Anderson is inviting everyone who has been involved with the Normandy to a New Year's Eve party. I saw the words 'open bar,' and I was there. You are coming, right?" Lauren was glad for a pleasant subject to talk about, so she could just avoid everything from yesterday.
Raising his eyebrows, Kaidan finally smiled. "Open bar? Wow. Sounds like a party I shouldn't miss. Yeah, I'll be there."
x-X-x
Looking forward to the party kept Lauren distracted enough that she could act like a normal person with Kaidan. He wasn't acting like he was bothered by anything that had happened, so maybe she was overreacting. She wished sometimes that she could be a person who could just compartmentalize their emotions. It was something she would work on. It was a beneficial attribute for a soldier and would have served her well at Torfan.
The evening of New Year's Eve arrived and Anderson had secured a large club for the occasion. The atmosphere was joyful and the air was thick with excitement. Lauren had been to this club before, but it was even better knowing most of the people there. She walked over to the crowded bar where Anderson was standing being chatted up by a young soldier.
"Shepard!" he grinned. "Glad you could make it. Happy New Year! Looks like 2183 should be a damn good year."
"Absolutely," Lauren agreed. "Probably the best ever."
"This," Anderson said, motioning to the young soldier at his side, "is Corporal Richard Jenkins. He was just transferred here to Vancouver. He's young, but he's got ambition and was recommended to me for the Normandy's crew."
"Great to meet you, Jenkins," said Lauren.
Jenkins was awestruck. "The pleasure is mine, Commander Shepard. I've never met a soldier of your caliber before." Anderson cleared his throat at the comment and the young man immediately turned red. "Sorry, sir," Jenkins laughed nervously. "I just never expected you to be so...uh, young." He looked admiringly at Lauren, who tried to stifle a laugh.
"I'm humbled, Jenkins. Thanks." She took a drink and started to turn to face the dance floor, but was stopped by Kaidan, who had come up right up by her. "Oh, hey, Kaidan," she smiled.
"Hey," he replied. Seeing Anderson, Kaidan greeted him as well. "Good to see you, sir."
"At ease, Alenko," chuckled Anderson. "This is a party." Suddenly, Kaidan saw the young man standing beside the captain. "Wow, I never thought I'd run into you," Jenkins said with a haunted look. "You're Kaidan Alenko?"
"Yeah," Kaidan said, his own look incredulous. "And you are?"
"I'm Rich. Rich Jenkins. You were friends with my older brother, Robert."
"He was my friend. I-I'm so sorry," Kaidan said, momentarily racked with survivor's guilt again over Akuze.
"No, don't be. I'm just glad to meet the man who he said saved our farm on Eden Prime." Jenkins was geniune.
Lauren and Anderson looked to each other and remained quiet as the two men traded memories about Robert Jenkins. When they finished, Kaidan looked to Anderson and said, "Sir, can I speak with you privately?"
Anderson nodded and the two stepped away from Lauren and Jenkins. "I may be a little late, sir, and I understand if you say no," said Kaidan, "but I would like to serve aboard the Normandy."
x-X-x
The evening moved swiftly along and even the initial somber tone Kaidan had taken was relaxed after several drinks. Lauren, herself buzzing, found a place out on the dance floor with several of the young corporals, including Jenkins. Kaidan was watching from his vantage point at the bar and noticed what a terrible dancer she was. He couldn't help laughing as her arms waved wildly.
He finished his drink and went out to the floor, his mission to keep those flailing arms from hurting any of other people around her. As he got near Lauren, he grabbed her arms and pulled them down. She looked at him, her face flushed and her eyes shining and a huge smile on her face. "Have you come to dance with me too?" she shouted over the music.
Kaidan was going to say he was there to save her from herself, but thought better of it. "Yeah, just keep your hands on my shoulders." Lauren complied and she could feel the hum of his biotics with hers, the alcohol having worn down her built-up ability to ignore it. He put his hands just above her waist, so it couldn't be said he was touching her too familiarly. He was just trying to guide her awkwardly moving body to some semblance of rhythm with the music.
Just as Kaidan was mentally giving Lauren up as a lost cause to ever being a graceful dancer, the dj announced that it was one minute until midnight. Lauren hooted loudly taking her hands off of Kaidan to clap with everyone else in the crowd. Kaidan was more intoxicated than he wanted to be and he found his control faltering again when he remained by Lauren's side as everyone started to count down to the new year.
"3...2...1...Happy New Year!" Lauren shouted with everyone else and to no one in particular. As many of the soldiers paired up to kiss, Lauren glanced around, seeing a few available men. She decided to be a good leader (in her drunk mind) and give equal treatment.
Kaidan started to back away as Lauren gave kisses to the other men who had been dancing around her. An enamored Jenkins grabbed her tightly and held her a bit longer than the rest. When Lauren broke the kiss, she said loudly, "That's the spirit, Jenkins!" She turned just before Kaidan got out of range. "Oh no, you don't!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand tightly and pulling him close.
Placing her hands on his face, she pulled his lips to hers. It happened in just a second, but time graciously slowed down in Kaidan's mind. Her lips were warm, slightly firm. He wanted to yield to a deeper kiss, but their parting said that wasn't going to happen. Her hands were now on his arms and his arms somehow were wound tightly around her waist, holding their bodies together. His heart was pounding and he feared that sad look again, so he dropped her quickly. To his surprise, Lauren only backed up a half step, her hands taking his.
She didn't take her bright eyes away from his as she said to the other guys standing around. "This is why the Normandy will be the best damn ship in the fleet! Enthusiastic soldiers ready to take on any challenge!" Kaidan wondered if he only imagined the veiled encouragement she gave him.
That night both Lauren and Kaidan slept soundly, invading each other's dreams.
