A/N: Heyo, everyone! Welcome back as we enter the waking world once again! This chapter was a boat load of fun to write! So I do hope you like it! I hope all of you are staying happy and health out there in this crazy world and I hope my stories can give you a little escapism!
Now, lets see how our favorite seeker is doing shall we?
On with the show!
Chapter 19-A Satellite's Point of View
Starscream's POV
"Urgh...slag it all to the Pits…" I groaned out loud as my system came back online, my optics blinked open and the static slowly left them. I cringed as I slowly sat up, exhaustion wracking my entire frame. My HUD showed that I was low on Energon and that my recharge had been messed with, courtesy of Cenotaph, and that none of my recharge protocols were achieved during my rest.
That left me tired, achy, sore and my mind a current fog of exhaustion….today was not going to be a good day.
I sighed, rubbing my face trying to awake myself more so than I actually was. I felt a twinge suddenly, it was from the small, incomplete bond formed with Moonfall. Trickles of emotions filtered in, intense and raw, uncontrolled...comfort, reassurance...and the barest hints of admiration…
I gasped at those hints, my entire being feeling more awake than ever. Then, she was gone, mind and spark elsewhere. It left my spark almost barren, sure my brothers were still there, but my spark ached to feel that connection again. But there was no response, and it was understandable. She was after all back in her own body yet not at the same time.
"What am I going to do with you?" I asked to the empty room, my servo creasing my chestplate where my spark beat underneath.
BANG, BANG, BANG!
I jumped as someone wailed on my door, growling I stood and shakily went to the door, punching in the code, it slid away to reveal...no one?
"Down here, genius." A femme's voice called, shifting my optics I looked to see Nerium standing there with a unimpressed expression on her face.
I stuttered, "O-Oh, my apologies, Nerium...u-uh, what brings you here?"
She seemed exhausted herself, yet she held herself with a high helm, a cold determination across her face, and I've come to recognize that as her mask that she constantly wears. I wonder silently to myself, if that is ever trying for her, to keep that up?
"We are going to find my vehicle mode, come on." She turned and started walking down the hall at a pace.
Shaking off the shock I started after her, asking, "I thought you already had one?"
She huffed, "No, I've been preoccupied with other things, it slipped everyone's processors, so here we are."
"Ah, I see. But, why are you taking me with you? You are clearly a grounder after all." I asked, noticing the distinct features of a grounder integrated into her small frame.
"Well, to be honest, I suggested it to Lord Megatron when he approached me about this solar earlier. And I wanted to spend time with you, get to know you better and yad-yah." She waved her servo in circles, seemingly bored with my questioning.
I didn't ask anymore questions, as I just accepted this. I suppose I couldn't really say no to her either, after all, she was technically my superior? Was she though? How did this whole thing work? I know they differentiate us by Star and Satellite, so does that make me her subordinate? Do I call her Commander? Or my Lord? Or something else entirely.
We arrived at the Bridge, Lord Megatron was already there, taking in reports and handing out orders to the Drones. Soundwave was also there, waiting for us. Nerium walked up to him, almost with a friendly nature. I remember her comment from the Dreamscape, so it appeared to be true, she was on a friendly term with the silent mech.
"Thank you for assisting us, Soundwave. I hope we aren't a bother?" She said, though her face was neutral, her tone was kind and soft.
Soundwave simply nodded and opened a groundbridge right beside him before a recording played, a voice unfamiliar to me, :Careful, my dear.:
She nodded, a small smile appearing briefly, "Of course, I do have the Second in Command with me, I should be fine."
He only turned his attention towards me and I could sense a warning glare coming from him before he turned back to his work, the portal still open as Nerium began to walk through. I quickly followed, wanting to get away from the mystery mech that was Soundwave, however they became friends was something beyond me.
As we came out of the green and blue portal, we arrived at what appeared to be a large open plain with rolling hills. The sun was high with not a cloud in sight, it was a perfect day for a flight, but that wasn't that day today. Today was about Nerium, and her vehicle form. I followed her as she made her way to a overlooking hill of a highway deep in a small valley below.
Cars of different types and styles were driving up and down the road, without a care in the world. I noticed some models that looked familiar and asked.
"Are we in Europe?" Looking to Nerium who sat beside me, looking down.
She smiled, fully this time, and said, "You know your European cars?"
I rolled my optics, sighing, "Unfortunately, so due to Knockout of all mechs, that Doctor can't stop blabbing about them!"
She chuckled, looking at me with her mischievous golden optics, "Can you blame him? His alt is a European car after all, they do have a certain flair you can't deny."
I huffed, "Right, well I'll never get the sentiment, I prefer wings over wheels any solar."
"Of course, you are a Seeker, I expect nothing less." She said in an almost bored tone.
Suddenly, Wendigo, her minicon, transformed from her owner's chassis and started flying high into the air over the highway.
"She will help me search, in the meantime, I wanted to ask you something." She said, turning to me with a curious glance.
"I'm not stopping you, go on." I said, looking at her and at the highway almost at the same time.
"Starscream...you care deeply for Moonfall right? What is that like?"
I stopped in my tracks, not expecting the question from her of all bots. But, she was serious, even though she wore her mask again, I could tell she really wanted to know. But why? Is...is there someone she cares about, or is this something she's never seen before?
I looked away from her and said, "Yes, I do care deeply, some may say that I...love her, dearly. But to describe it? It's almost impossible to put it into words."
"Love," She said, a slight frown forming, "That's a strong word, how did you fall for her? You haven't known her long right? How do you fall that fast? Is it even love, or some puppy love or crush? How do you know that you actually love her?"
I frowned, feeling like I was being attacked, I growled out, "You assume I have read it wrong, you assume I am rushing into things, but I am not. I will not force her, I will not force myself into something I nor she is ready for, I will wait for her, I will watch her grow into herself. And if in the end she wants nothing to do with me, then that's fine. I will leave her alone, but I will never stop protecting her."
She looked at me, skeptical, "How long are you willing to wait on her?"
I smiled, "Until time itself ends and the universe dies. I am a very patient mech."
Nerium was silent for a moment, then asked, "Will you help her, aid her in the trauma of her past and be there when she needs it?"
I answered right away, "Yes. I know something awful happened to her in that dreamscape, but I also know she was damaged even before that. But, yes, I will."
"And what about Moonfall? Do you think she can help you in any way?"
I laughed dryly, "She already has, so much…"
There was silence, once more. I smiled sadly back at the road, wondering the 'ifs' and 'whats' of the future. I wondered how I could pay her back for what she did for me. But, I believe I already know that answer, deep down.
Then, a thought crossed my mind, "Why are you concerned about this, Nerium?"
She seemed to lock up in place, thrown off by the out of the blue question, before she resettled herself once more.
"I suppose...that I just want to be sure is all." She sighed, rubbing her optics, "I've seen things, Starscream, bad things and I don't want any harm to come to Moonfall, or the others. I know trauma, I know the hardships, but I know so little about love. I've only really watched other people doing the song and the dance, and books as well, but I've never really had any experience with that sort of thing. I've seen many hurt by it...and Moonfall seems...delicate to me, is all."
I hummed, "I see...so, all that stuff that you asked, you've never experienced it before?"
She smiled sadly, "No. Most people were afraid of me. Rightfully so, too, and I never really got close with anyone since...since I found Wendigo."
I frowned, "But, don't you have friends and family that you were close too?"
She laughed, though it was hollow and sad, "No, my family was dead since I was a little girl and my 'friends' were more like my 'keepers'. They treated me more like a wild animal than a friend. So I didn't really have anyone besides her...until now."
"Oh," I said, dejectedly, "I'm sorry."
She huffed, "Don't be, wasn't your fault. The first new friends I had made were actually the Decepticons, with Megatron first actually treating me like a person. Then Soundwave, and now you. I'd like to make more...and I'd like to get to know the rest of Stars too."
I smiled, looking back to her, seeing that she had a happy smile, "I like that too. And I am glad we are friends, Nerium. For the longest time, it was just me and my trine against the world. But now…"
There was a quiet silence again, more comfortable than it had ever been before. Then, suddenly she turned her attention to the road and suddenly beams shot from her optics. She scanned it so fast I couldn't tell what she scanned. She shifted slightly, adjusting to the new mode she acquired. Then stood smiling, Wendigo came back transforming back in her chassis.
"I think we need a test ride, wanna come along?" She asked with a smug smirk.
I stood up, looking down at her skeptically, "You want me to fly along with you?"
She looked at me like I was an idiot, "Keep up, fly-boy."
She suddenly transformed in a small compact car, my sensors told me that it was a 2010 Mini Cooper. She revved her engines before taking off towards the back roads, I smirked before transforming after her as she traveled west.
Several Hours Later...
She had been driving for the longest time, never once opening a Comm link between us. I followed her, wanting to make sure she didn't draw too much attention towards herself as she traveled down the roads. The sun was already setting on this part of the planet, and even though we were just travelling, it felt relaxing.
I wondered where on Earth she thought she was going, and I didn't really want to ask.
To me at least, it seemed that she was in need of this. She has been wearing her mask since she got here and even in the dreamscape she did so as well. I wondered if she was tired like I was, the exhaustion from the dream was a toll, but the rush of flying always seemed to make me more energized. I wondered if it was the same for her as well?
But, there was something that was bugging me.
I knew she didn't really have friends before, she said so herself, so I wondered how she could connect so fast with Lord Megatron and Soundwave? What pulled her towards them? And how did she find that connection?
She suddenly began to slow down, heading for a hill beside a lake. I dove down after her as she transformed and sat down, looking at the lake. I transformed gracefully and landed behind her, I walked up to her, unable to see her face.
I asked, "How was it?"
She turned to look at me, a tired smile gracing her lips, "Exhilarating, but tiring, even more so once the adrenaline wears off."
I sat beside her, "So, now you are doubly exhausted from the dream and the trip? Maybe you should've waited to push yourself so much."
She waved me off, "Nah, it doesn't matter that I'm tired, I still wanted to do it."
I frowned, and asked, "I wanted to ask something, I was wondering...about the front you put up with everyone, and if that was tiring in itself?"
She paused, slightly frowning and digging her talons into the grass, "Oh...that."
"I didn't mean to upset you, I was just...curious." I said, trying to not offend her, after all, she was one of the first bots I could confidently call a friend now.
"It's fine, Starscream." She said, looking harder at the lake, "And yes, it is exhausting keeping that mask up."
"Why do you do it then?"
She was tense, and I could tell that she didn't want to talk about this, but something pushed her too.
"So that they know who they are dealing with." She growled out, staring at the lake, "To put it simply, I want them uneasy around me, because that's how it should be, how it's always been…"
"Even though you don't want it, right?" I asked and she seemed to freeze, her frame hitching slightly. "Megatron was the first to get past your mask, Soundwave was the second, I am the third...and you want more than just us to not be afraid of you and to accept you as you. You want us to tear your mask away because you hate wearing it."
In a low shaky voice, "...I-I am a monster that d-doesn't understand."
I frowned, staring at her as she shook more, her claws making small holes as they dug into the ground.
She went on, "I-I don't understand how Megatron or Soundwave don't care about what I am. Yet they have witnessed it first hand, they've seen the monster and yet...they still want to know me, to be my friend...I don't get it...and I don't know why I crave it now...I never have before, never wanted it before…"
I wrapped my arm around, bringing her close into a side hug, her face looked up to mine, tears streaking down her face with confusion and agony and sadness all mixed together in expression.
"Nerium, I'm sorry I brought this up. But know this, you are not a monster, you are my friend. And no matter if you understand or not, just know that I'll be here, just like I'll be there for Moonfall. I think Megatron and Soundwave would say the same, so please, just...know that you are you, and we like you the way you are." I said, petting her helm to smooth out her spikes that had gone rigid.
She was silent, tears still coming down her face, she laughed bitterly, "I don't understand why you wish to be in the presence of a monster, but...I won't stop you...or anyone else who tries to...I just hope you understand that I can't stop it."
What she couldn't stop was beyond me, maybe she was referring to the 'monster' or maybe her mask, I don't know. But what I do know is this, if she thinks she'll get away with living in this hate cycle for the rest of her days, she is sorely mistaken.
Even Later Back on the Nemesis…
"Welcome back, did you find a suitable form?" Lord Megatron asked as we were groundbridged to the Bridge of the Nemesis, entering with him right there, staring only at Nerium.
She had cleaned herself up, claiming that she didn't want to show up looking like a mess, especially in front of everyone. So, with a very slight smile, she looked Lord Megatron in the optics and said in a charming yet calm voice.
"Of course, Lord Megatron. Starscream was good company, I think we can be a great team on the battlefield someday." Then his optics focused on me, scrutinizing everything about me.
"Is that so? Well we'll have to test that some other day, it's good to see you connecting with the rest of the crew Nerium, it shows your dedication to the cause and the Decepticons. Both of you, get some rest, you look like you are about to fall over into recharge any nano-click." He said, waving his servo and turning from us to walk over to Soundwave, who gave a small nod to Nerium who nodded back.
We took his order to spark, and started making our way back. As we walked towards the quarter section of the ship, suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Makeshift and Astraea came into view in the hall, making us stop in our tracks as they got in the way.
I frowned and barked out, "Move out of the way, we have no time for any scheme you have cooking up for this."
Makeshift smirked, "Oh, I'm sorry Commander, we just need a word with Nerium, that's all."
Something crawled up my strut, something was off. I could tell both of them knew something I didn't. I side glanced at Nerium, who looked annoyed and...angry. My frown turned to a scowl.
"That wasn't a suggestion, shapeshifter, that was an order from a superior officer, now, move." I growled out, too tired for this type of slag.
Astraea huffed, "Seriously, playing the SIC card are we? You don't have the ball bearings to actually stand up to us."
"Indeed, she is correct. Besides, this doesn't concern you, only me, Astraea and Nerium. So, do go on, but we have business to attend too." He said, moving slightly out of the way for me to get through, but I wasn't buying it.
"And what, pray tell, do you need Nerium for?" I asked, crossing my arms and tapping my ped.
Makeshift frowned, now becoming annoyed, "That's. Not. Your. Concern."
Nerium let out a loud sigh, before hardening herself, "I am so not dealing with this."
Her onyx inlaid servos glowed, she cupped them around her lips and blew, a giant and fast moving fog cloud covered the hall, making it very hard to see, with any sensor. Someone, Nerium due to being tugged slightly downward, pulled me, past the pair who were shouting at us and each other.
We burst out the other side of the cloud and took off running down the hall towards the closest room, mine. I looked back for a second, seeing the dense cloud just sitting there and hearing both of them trying to find us. We rounded the corner and I quickly came to my door, unlocking it and hurrying us in before closing and locking it again. I vented quickly, trying to cool my heated systems and my racing spark.
I turned to look at Nerium who was scowling and huffing as well, a transformation sequence occurred and suddenly Wendigo was snuggling up around her shoulders and neck. She looked at me, and passing across her face was guilt.
"Sorry about that, those dumbfucks have something on me and are threatening me into working for them." She said before kicking my berth, leaving a sizable dent in it, "It's my fault too, I was reckless."
I sighed, and said, "Well, we're a part of the same team now, which means we look out for one another. If they are a threat to you, or any of us, then they need to go."
She looked at me with a glint of murderous intent, "We need to take down Makeshift first, he's the one who has dirt on me. As well, his special ability is something to be feared."
I smirked devilishly, "Give me some time, I'll cook up something for that weasel. In the meantime, from now on, play along with their games. And make sure you have proof of their blackmail in case you need to go to the higher powers that be."
"I can agree to that." Then her expression dropped into one of serenity, "And also, thanks for sticking up for me."
I shrugged, "Of course, what are friends for?"
She smiled fondly, before yawning and saying, "I am beat, I think I'll head to my room, you mind opening that vent up there?"
Nerium pointed to a vent closer to the ceiling, I looked at her, even though she was small she couldn't fit in there. But I shrugged it off and did as she said. I pulled the vent off and Wendigo flew off of her owner, landing on my desk. Then Nerium alighted her onyx inlays and before my very optics, transformed into a mouse.
Then Wendigo scooped her up and deposited both herself and Nerium into the vent. The mouse saluted me, before rushing into the darkness of the vents. Leaving me in silent awe at her power. I slowly put the vent back, but made sure it was easily pushed away. I sat back on my berth, my exhaustion hitting full force.
It had been a long day, leaving me utterly defeated and exhausted. But, I was happy with it, for it meant I had a strong bond with one more person, and a Fallen Star after that. But, there was one bond I wish had more of, that was stronger and that wasn't timid anymore.
There was again, nothing. Her mind and spark elsewhere, almost blocking me out. I felt spark-broken, and I forced the tears down. I said I would wait for her, but it didn't mean that it still hurt not knowing. I wanted to know so badly, I wanted to hold her and tell her just how much she means to me, to...kiss her again.
Maybe that was a mistake? Did I drive her away?
I thought she liked it, it did seem that way. Maybe I went to fast?
My spark roiled in turmoil and I curled into myself, slowly falling into recharge.
Hope was all I had now, and patience.
But for how long? Before my spark breaks from the unknown and returns to the darkness once more?
