This chapter is the result of the game mechanics behind the path actions in Octopath Traveler. Hope you guys enjoy.


Chapter Six - Nothing Left Unsaid.

The way to Middle Park was rather easy and stress-free as there was very little traffic on the way there, so the drive was rather quick. By the time we hit city limits, it was only 3:47 PM. I was in the driver seat, Wendy was on the passenger side, and everyone else was in the back. They were leaning forward, as there were no other windows besides the front area in this creepy white van.

The moment we reached the suburbs near Middle Park Elementary was the moment peace would end. A giant boulder with a radius equal to a large tire came flying from on top of a house further down to the right towards our van. "Watch out, Stan!" Wendy cried. I tried to steer out of the way towards the left, but I was not quick enough. The boulder slammed into the front right headlight and at that moment, our van began spiraling out of control. The last I remember, my party was screaming as I accidentally steered the van sideways up a ramp, and we went barrel rolling until landing on top of a fire hydrant. Then I blacked out momentarily.

When I came to, I found myself partially submerged in water inside an upside-down van. In front of me was the driver door. At that moment, the door was pulled out and Wendy popped up. "Stan! Please! Come on!" She reached her arms in to grab my legs and pull me out effortlessly. I then found myself lying down on the left sidewalk from where we came from.

Kyle stood over me. "Are you alright, dude?"

I could feel Wendy weave her arms under my armpits to help me stand up. "Yeah...yeah...what just happened?" I looked around. It seemed that the rest of my party was intact, albeit with faces full of shock and astonishment. The fire hydrant that I apparently drove into was spewing water high into the air, and the front side of the now upside-down van was nearly shattered, the boulder that was shot at us embedded into the engine.

"Someone fired a giant boulder at us, somehow," Bebe replied.

"Who the fuck shot at us?!" Tyler looked around, trying to discern his surroundings.

"Guys!" Kathy pointed down the road. "Look!"

There were other children our age down the road. The real oddity was that no one was paying any attention to us. On top of one of the houses was a giant slingshot that fired boulders down at a large group of girls, being manned by boys. The house across also had a giant slingshot that fired down meatballs infested with maggots, manned by girls. As for the boys and girls on the streets, they were mainly dressed in chainmail with swords and bows. This was too grounded of a fantasy setting due to lack of magic being thrown around, although one boy in particular had white robes, a white staff, and a white fake beard, as if emulating Gandalf the White, firing bolts of light at the girls.

"Lord of the Rings," I said.

"Boys versus girls it seems," Ellen said. "They don't look like they cast magic, but they seem pretty strong, as if the Stick enhanced their athletics."

"Didn't think this town would be in midst of a gender war too," Chris added.

Kyle shook his head. "But why would they shoot at us?"

"Maybe they mistook us for someone else," Wendy replied. "Regardless, we should get outta here fast."

"Look over here." We glanced over at Bebe, who pointed to a path towards a park that set itself between two houses. "We can dodge the gender war through this way."

"Alright, let's get outta here before they find us," I said.

Our party headed down the path and into what appeared to be a playground that closely resembled to the community park in South Park, with a basketball court towards the end. There was a single girl sitting alone on a bench next to the basketball court dressed in a flimsy chainmail coat over her yellow jacket, as she sat alone, holding a bow. There were a few other girls in line of sight on the streets, though not nearby.

"Ms. Cartman said they were last in this town. I'll see if I can extract any info out of this kid." Kyle began to walk towards the girl.

"Good luck, dude," I said.

"Yeah!" Bebe smiled. "Hope you wing it!"

We watched as Kyle approached the girl. The girl slowly looked up and narrowed her eyes at Kyle. "What do you want?"

"Hey," Kyle said. "I'm from South Park, and I'm looking for two boys who both came from South Park, and last I heard they were in this town. Do you know where they are?"

But the girl only glared at Kyle. "South Park, huh? What, just because you guys roleplay World of Warcraft, which has even more fancy magic, doesn't mean you're more superior than to us more-grounded fantasy players, who believe only the most elite should be projecting actual magic, while the plebeians should only have enhanced physical powers. Besides, around these parts, tourists like you are only level one."

"But I'm level twenty in South Park," Kyle replied.

"Irrelevant. Sucks for you. Guess that means you'll never get any info from me. Now piss off."

Kyle grumbled, returning to us. "Seriously, what's up her ass today?" Kyle asked.

I frowned, dismayed. What is wrong with this town? Why is everyone so hostile? Could Cartman have done this? No, he couldn't have, he barely even knows Middle Park anyways. "I don't know," was all that came out of my mouth.

"Well, your method didn't work, Kyle, so I think it's time for a little more of an 'aggressive negotiation'." Kathy stepped forward.

But I shook my head. "Kathy, I don't think this is the best time to be acting like a scoundrel. We should be noble. Maybe if Kyle could just-"

But Kathy shook her head. "Douchebag needs us, you know he's depending on us. And if one method doesn't work-" She breifly glanced at Kyle. "-then we have to try something else. Do you honestly expect different results trying the same thing twice?" Kathy wasn't wrong, but interrogation still felt wrong. Regardless, Kathy moved towards the rather hostile girl. "Don't worry, I got this."

The girl then began to take notice of Kathy. "You were with the one in the green hat, weren't you? What makes you think-"

"Enough." Kathy stopped in front of the girl, but put her left foot forward, standing in a rather aggressive stance. "We're looking for a boy in pink hair and some fat turd wearing a light blue hat, like that girl's trenchcoat over there." Kathy briefly pointed towards Ellen before turning back to the other girl. "We need this info, and you're gonna tell us immediately." Kathy's tone was rather impatient, unlike Kyle's. Oh boy, this can only go so well. "Or else-"

Apparently a more confrontational approach didn't work as the girl stood up and pushed Kathy back. "Or else what? Kidnap me?"

"I..." But Kathy was now left speechless.

"Ugh! Unbelievable! Are all kids from South Park such bitches and assholes?! Get away from me!" The girl stomped off.

Kathy shook her head. "Wait! I'm sorry!" But it was too late as that girl was now long gone. "Damnit. Thought that would work."

Kyle glared at Kathy. "You really thought that would work? What is wrong with you?"

"Look we just need information, I'm sorry. It's just you tried to be nice, but it didn't work out." Kathy tried to smile at Kyle, but Kyle shook my head.

"Maybe we need a different approach rather than asking questions," Wendy said.

"Wendy's right," Bebe added. "There's people out there who will only open their mouths through some other means. Maybe fighting, or charm, or whatever."

I sighed. "Fine, whatever." My eyes then fell onto a boy wearing a chainmail shirt and two maces. "Fighting, huh?" I then noticed he was staring at us. I'm certain he heard every word. I came up to the boy.

The boy eyed me with great scrutiny, his eyes narrowed. "I saw everything. If you're here to ask me questions, you're only wasting your breath."

"Have you seen two kids from South Park recently?" I asked.

The boy scowled deeply. "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. Like I said: you're only wasting your breath. You want answers? Gotta prove your strength in a one-on-one battle."

"Do all that, huh?" If there is one thing I knew, it's challenging others to honorable combat. "Luckily for you, I'm all about that." I took out my battle axe and held it with both hands. "Therefore, I, Warrior Stan Marsh, challenge you to a one-on-one duel! Would you accept this honor to fight me?!"

The boy briefly smiled. He then laughed. "Hahahahaha...you?! You look like a fucking bitch! Get outta here!" He continued to laugh.

I grumbled, returning to the rest of my party, putting away my battle axe. "Well, that didn't work out."

Tyler folded his arms. "He's right, you are acting like a bitch right now." I scowled deeply at Tyler; the last think I needed was for Tyler to act like an ass. "In the real world, there's no such thing as 'honor' or whatever shit. People just win at all costs."

"No, that's not it..." I started.

"Maybe something you learned from all those bullies you used to be friends with," Kyle shot back in my defense. "But that's not how we should live our life."

"Pft...that was back when we were in second grade. And besides: the way these morons treat the opposite gender, they don't give a shit, so why should I give a shit about them? Watch and learn." Oh no, Tyler is really going to provoke that boy. I watched as he took out his greatsword and slowly made his way towards the boy who denied me.

The boy then glared at Tyler. "And what do you think you're doing?"

Tyler brought out his left hand and promptly flipped the boy the bird, and while doing so, his hand glowed bright with holy light. He had casted the Hand of Reckoning upon the boy. "Time for the reckoning, jackass!"

"WHAT?!" Just as expected, the boy fumed with rage as he brought out both his maces. "DID YOU JUST - DID YOU JUST FLIP ME OFF?! I'LL FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!"

Tyler gripped his greatsword with both hands. "Come and get it." He activated his Retribution Aura.

"Come on, Tyler, kick his ass," Bebe said.

The boy rushed in, as Tyler casted Judgement of Justice, a red hammer of light falling down to blast the boy. He attacked Tyler with both maces while getting hit by light from Tyler's aura. Tyler responded by whirling once with his sword, casting Divine Storm to cleave the boy.

The boy roared, going into a rampage. Tyler took out his shield and hammer, then casted Sacred Shield on himself to protect himself from the boy's harm. But the boy was in too much of a rampage, and thus, Tyler had to cast Divine Shield to render himself invulnerable.

"He has to bubble this early?" Ellen whispered. "What is going on with that boy?"

"I don't know, but this seems bad," Chris said.

Tyler took the time to heal himself. When the Divine Shield ended, Tyler casted Repentance, incapacitating the boy, but still healing himself. The boy came to. He made one swift punch towards Tyler's forehead, stunning Tyler out. Tyler immediately casted Hand of Freedom on himself, a disc of orange light glowing beneath his feet while immediately breaking the stun. Tyler put away his shield and sword and took out his greatsword. He casted Exorcism next, unleashing a burst of light. The blast hit critically, sending the boy back several feet.

"Get him, Tyler!" Ellen yelled.

Tyler casted forth the Hammer of Justice, stunning the boy again. "Avenging Wrath!" Golden wings of light erupted from Tyler's back, empowering him as he went to town on the boy.

But the boy was just as strong still if not stronger. The boy kept throwing mace attacks while Tyler would keep attacking with his sword while also casting holy spells to damage the boy. But alas, it was not enough, as with one last smack to Tyler's stomach caused him to be sent back, falling to the ground in front of the rest of us.

The boy won the duel - just barely. He suffered cuts as well as burns on his body. "Fucking asshole..." He gripped his left arm. "I was just going on a walk. You're all dicks, you know that?" Before we could say anything else, he simply staggered away.

As Ellen picked Tyler up, Kyle glared at him. "Nice going, asshole."

Tyler was bruised all over his body, alongside some cuts on his skin. "Fuck off." As he stood up thanks to Ellen's help, he began to heal himself. "I don't see you offering any solutions other than whining."

"Guys, guys, just relax," I interjected. "We only messed up two times so far. We should still have two more tries on trying to get info or something before we lose reputation in Middle Park."

"Yeah, two more tries," Kyle reminded.

"Let's just get going," Bebe suggested.

As we walked, I intentionally slowed my pace, seeing as how Kyle was walking in the far back. The other six kids were too busy walking that they likely wouldn't pay me any mind. "So...gender war," Kyle said. "We're traveling with girls, so that's going to raise eyebrows. Should we be worried?"

"No, I've taken on worse before, and besides, this is about us." I shook my head. "At this rate, we're gonna piss off this entire town, and they'll come after us."

"Let's just hope things can go smoothly now," Kyle said.

Our party made our way towards a Starbucks. On one of the outside tables sat a boy who wore chainmail with a single sword, like most of the others. He was skinny and pale with thick-framed glasses, the look of a stereotypical nerd. However, he was also on his phone. "So that's where those two kids from South Park ended up going." At that point, I immediately knew that the nerdy kid was talking about Douchebag and Cartman.

I turned to Ellen. "Ellen, you're up."

Ellen pointed her right thumb at herself. "Wait, me?"

I nodded. "Yes you. He just admitted he knows where they went. Maybe if you were to guide him, he might tell us."

Ellen nodded. She and her wolf walked up towards the nerdy kid who sat alone. As the nerdy kid finally took his eyes off his phone and turned his attention towards Ellen, Ellen waved at the kid. "Hello," Ellen said. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking about two kids from South Park. I'm looking for them too."

The boy glared at Ellen. "Oh yeah? The only way you're going to get me to talk is if you escort me to someplace quiet...but I don't trust you, you're a girl, and you don't seem that strong."

Ellen shook her head. "I'm sorry, you must not be familiar with who I am." Ellen then took out the piece of paper that she showed Ivan earlier today. "As you can see here, I'm actually a Hero of Zaron. You can even see the stamps here too."

The boy folded his arms. "And you think that matters here? This is the Land of Middle-Earth, so your titles and your levels mean jack shit here. The way I see it, you're a measly level one around these parts. Now begone." Well at least now I know experience from Zaron doesn't seem to carry over.

As the boy returned to his phone, Ellen sighed as she and her wolf retreated to us. "It does not work."

Wendy smiled, putting a hand on Ellen's left shoulder. "That's why you have me around."

"Oh no..." I can't believe Wendy is about to try to hit on and flirt with another boy. "Wendy, don't do this."

"Yeah, I don't know how to feel about this." At least Bebe agrees with me.

"Shush, I can do this. I have to do this." Wendy cleared her throat and sighed. "No distractions."

As Wendy and her felhunter began to make their way towards the boy, I could see Kyle pinch the bridge of his nose. "Guess third time won't be the charm."

Wendy sat down at the table across the boy. Seeing this, the boy immediately put his phone down. His eyes opened wide, perhaps he was captivated by Wendy's looks. I don't agree with this, but perhaps this could be the solution. "...hi. You were with that blonde chick that just talked with me, weren't you?"

Wendy winked. "Why hey there. And yes I am. Ellen is such a sweet little flower...but a bit too sweet, don't you think?"

The boy blinked twice. "...I don't follow."

Wendy put her right index finger on the boy's heart. "You know, if you were to just come with me to someplace secret so you can share where the two kids from South Park went to, I could give you a hug and kiss afterwards." Watching this made me uncomfortable. This wasn't the first time Wendy wasn't acting flirty or perhaps beyond that with someone else. There was the time that she kissed Cartman during a debate we had over the South Park flag. There was also that instance where she didn't hesitate at all in joining Bridon Gueermo in a play where she gets to kiss him.

It gives me anxiety sometimes thinking that I'm not good enough for Wendy, that I try hard yet she doesn't appreciate my efforts. I've offered help several times, like when she wanted to beat up Cartman, or when Cartman accused her of killing smurfs, yet she turned me down.

What was surprising about this specific situation however was the boy's reaction. His face scrunched up with disgust. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Wendy was immediately taken aback, not expecting the reaction at all, gasping. "Wait...are you...are you gay or something?"

The boy furiously shook his head. "What? No, I'm straight!" Wait what? "But that doesn't matter. Did you just assume that I'd be so desperate for girls and love, where just because I look like a lonely nerd I'd be drooling all over you?"

"I...uh..." Wendy was completely dumbstruck. In fact, we all were. I never once thought anyone would turn down Wendy like that, but here we are.

The boy stood up now. "This is why all girls like you are sexist whores." He then turned to leave. "Get out of my sight."

"Ugh...I'm the sexist?" Wendy scoffed. "Excuse me?!"

But at this point, the boy was long gone and we finally caught up with Wendy. "I did not see that coming." I have to agree with Kyle here.

I glared at Wendy immediately. "Wendy, why do you have to flirt with everyone you see?"

Wendy glared back. "Stan, I don't flirt with everyone. Plus you heard what he said, he had information. I wanted to...you know...loosen his lips."

"So you can kiss him?" Kathy asked.

"Yes...I mean no!" Wendy turned onto Kathy now. "Kathy why are you even talking? You just tried to interrogate someone aggressively and threaten to kidnap them and failed."

"It's actually 'aggressive negotiations', mind you." Kathy rolled her eyes.

Kyle stepped up. "Look, can we all just stop this nonsense of interrogating, provoking, and flirting around already?"

Tyler, still a bit bruised from his fight, grumbled, "Easy for you to take the high road when you barely put forth any effort, Kyle."

Bebe immediately came into Kyle's defense. "At least Kyle didn't try to use magic to piss anyone off!"

I've had quite enough of all this bickering. "OH ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" At that point, everyone's attention turned towards me. "Let's just...let's just find a tavern or something."

Tyler raised his eyebrow at me. "A tavern?"

"These guys are roleplaying Lord of the Rings, so I'm pretty sure someone's roleplaying a barkeeper or whatever." I sighed, turning to where we were originally going. "Let's just go."

After a few minutes, in front of a particular house we ended up at was a girl wearing chainmail and a sword, just like most, and she was standing outside on her lawn. She glanced over at us and beckoned us over. Only Bebe made her way to the girl while we all stood back. "Hey, I'm copies USB sticks of security camera footage around town. So if you want to help sabotage the gender war, or perhaps contribute to it, I'm your girl right here." This could have footage of Douchebag and Cartman. Bebe briefly glanced back at me and I have her the thumbs up.

She looked back at the girl. "Alright, how much each?"

"Two-hundred dollars," the girl replied.

"Really? Are you sure it's worth that? Imagine having to sift through hours of security footage of this entire town." Bebe shook her head.

"You're not going to haggle your way out of this one, blondie," the girl seethed.

Bebe sighed. "Guess it's no deal then." She walked back to us as we rounded a corner. "It's too much money. I can't spend it all."

Kyle put his right hand on Bebe's right shoulder. "It's fine. At least you tried your best."

Bebe smiled at Kyle. "Thanks, Kyle."

Chris looked back around the corner. "Maybe we don't have to spend money at all."

Kyle narrowed his eyes a Chris now. "Chris, you can't possibly suggest..."

"'Hours' of security footage that's going to be useless to most people, without any credible proof from others? This obviously sounds like a scam. Fuck paying a single penny for that." Chris then went into Stealth, turning invisible. Oh no, Chris is going to do it now.

As his stealth isn't perfect invisibility, I could see light bend around the shape of his body, and he was approaching the girl now. As he got closer to the girl and further from me, it became harder to really see him, so it's tough to discern what he was actually doing. Then suddenly, the girl jolted towards my direction, fumed with anger, and made one quick sideways wipe with her left hand. I heard a smack after that, and Chris staggered back while materializing into sight just a few yards away. "Get your hands off of me!" She then began to run away. "Thief! Thief!"

The rest of us ran to Chris. He gripped his left cheek, seemingly being smacked there. "Damnit. She's not as dumb as she looked."

"Oh nice going, Chris!" Kyle glared at Chris.

Chris turned to Kyle, rolled his eyes, and put his hands on his own hips. "And what? I saved you guys two-hundred bucks. Bebe was obviously gonna get scammed there."

"You should know that stealing is wrong," Wendy added.

Chris turned his attention towards Wendy. "Oh so me stealing overpriced USB sticks that could be a scam is wrong, but you trying to flirt with and steal other boys, despite already having a boyfriend yourself, is okay?"

"I...I..." Wendy was taken aback, completely embarrassed by Chris's argument, which is good. She should be.

But I didn't want to listen to any of this anymore. Everybody here was being completely ridiculous in one way or another, but I'd rather not blow up. Not just yet anyways. "Let's just go and find a tavern or something."

Kyle angrily gazed at the rest of us before looking over to me and nodding. "Fine. Let's go."


As we continued to walk the streets of the suburbs of Middle Park, it seemed that our bad deeds have begun to catch on fast. The first thing I've noticed was that every group that was roleplaying was gender segregated; there would be no mixing of genders here. But as we walked by, they turned to us, giving us glares, sneers, and jeers. Every time one of my party would try to talk to them, they would simply turn away, paying us no mind as if we didn't exist. We certainly screwed the pooch on this one, haven't we?

By 4:20 PM, we stopped in front of a brown house that seemed to have the same architecture as the houses in South Park. Above the front door was a pastel yellow banner with words painted in red, "FIELDS'S TAVERN". Unlike most other areas, I could see boys and girls heading in and out. I pointed towards the house. "That must be a tavern.

Ellen sighed. "I could really use a rest. Let's see what is inside."

When we got inside, we ended up in the living room. On the right side was a couch and a coffee table, as what one would expect. Of course, there was large orange containers of some kind of liquid as well as various soda, energy drink, and sports drink bottles and cans on the couch. In the living room were also various round tables as well. Most of the kids inside immediately turned to us to stare at us. We went over to the coffee table where there was a single white boy about our age with brown hair, a white apron, white jacket, and green pants, likely roleplaying the barkeep. There was also a black girl our age wearing leather straps over her red robes as well as two swords on her back next to the barkeep, as if she is the bouncer.

"Hi, welcome to the Fields's Tavern," the barkeep said. "I'm Dustin, the bouncer next to me is Chloe. In cause you guys don't know, this is a neutral zone, so both genders allowed here, and no fighting. If you guys start shit, Chloe here will kick your asses out so fast you won't have time to-" But then he stopped himself as he took a closer look at us. Then, with great scrutiny, his face frowned, forming a scowl. "Wait...I've heard of you idiots before."

"Oh...well...uh..." I chuckled nervously. I can already tell this isn't going to go well.

"You eight are the tourists from South Park who has been causing so much trouble within the past hour or so." Dustin's frown deepened; he was obviously not happy to see us. The other eight kids were now staring at us.

"Look, we just wanted information on two kids from South Park who came by here together; one fat and obese, and another with pink hair," I replied.

"Yeah, I have information, but I'm not giving it to you after all the shit you retards caused." Dustin shook his head and folded his arms.

"Please," I tried. "This is important to us."

"And this town is important to me, but I guess neither of us can be happy, now can we? Especially with..." Dustin pointed straight at Kathy. "You, asking too many questions and trying to interrogate everyone you see. All you do is make people uncomfortable, self-conscious, and insecure. And you also threaten to kidnap them?"

"I...I..." Kathy stammered, but couldn't form a good counterargument.

"We did end up charging you with disturbing the peace and attempted kidnapping, but unfortunately, the gender war seems to be first priority, lucky for you mongoloids."

"Charged by whose authority?" I asked.

"The leaders of the boys and girls," Dustin replied.

"I thought they are at war with each other," Kyle pointed out.

"They are, but that doesn't mean they're eschewed from their responsibilities of upholding the laws of Middle-Earth here too." Dustin then looked over at Chris. "You're a thief and a swindler...but at least here in Middle Park we actually understand that, especially considering how fucked South Park is, or Zaron. Whatever. But your aloof attitude ain't helping your ginger girlfriend here." He pointed back at Kathy.

"Pft...whatever." Chris rolled his eyes.

"'Whatever' me all you want, you're still getting charged with attempted theft." Dustin then turned to Tyler. "What kind of fucking 'paladin' are you? Since when in any fantasy series have paladins been walking around chastising everybody they see, acting as if they are some giant 'Deus Vult' meme?"

"I don't give a shit about roleplaying, it's fucking stupid anyways." Tyler folded his arms and sneered back at Dustin.

"Oh let me guess: you're an elitist arena player. Figures why you act like such a fucking douchebag." Dustin shook his head. "You're getting charged with assault, end of discussion. This is why I fucking hate church roleplayers." He then angrily glared at Wendy, who was twirling her hair with her left hand and leaning against the coffee table. "Do you honestly think you're being charming right now?"

"I mean, I am quite confident about my looks." Oh God Wendy, please don't brag about how pretty you are right now, this is a very bad time to do this.

"What, just because we're all boys and men mean that we must always be hungry for other girls? What the fuck is wrong with you? Your piss-poor stereotyping attitude and how you treat boys is exactly why there's a gender war going on in this town. In fact, we had to charge you with sexual harassment."

Of course, that made Wendy and me gasp. I mean, her flirting around is one thing, but I could never imagine the day in which Wendy Testaburger, the biggest feminist in the fourth grade, would be charged with sexual harassment. "Me? Sexual harassment? I'm like - I'm the biggest feminist in school!"

"So what?" Dustin rolled his eyes. "That doesn't make you immune to any criminal charges. Now unfortunately, as I just said, we can't actually do anything about you mongoloids other than shun you as most of the other kids are too busy killing each other, acting like sexist pigs." Dustin reached behind himself and grabbed a bottle of water, opened the cap, and took a sip before putting it down on the ground by his feet. "Now, we can actually fix this, but this will involve some money."

"Name your price," I immediately said. "I'm not trying to walk around being a complete pariah."

But Dustin's next words completely mortified me. "I'm gonna need three-hundred dollars. Up front, cash. It's gonna take me that much for me to clear your criminal charges and spread good rumors about you, as that will take time away from my job as a barkeep here."

We all turned to Bebe. Bebe glared at the rest of us. "Why are you all looking at me like that?! I'm a druid, not a walking ATM machine!"

Kyle sighed at Bebe. "I'm guessing you don't have the cash." When Bebe simply shook her head, Kyle responded with, "It's fine, Bebe. It's not your fault."

Dustin sighed. "Well...there is another way to restore your reputation. You'll just have to end the gender war yourselves."

I narrowed my eyes at Dustin. "No way. Douchebag and Cartman are still missing, and we can't just take time away just to intervene in some war we have no clue or context as to what is going on."

Dustin then casually waved us off with his left hand. "Then I've nothing more to say. Be on your way."

Chloe then stepped around and in front of the kitchen, facing us. "You heard the man. Get going before your asses get it."

I sighed. There was no fighting this. We all ended up leaving the house, and then we stopped in front of the mailbox. "Jeez, what an ass," Chris said.

"He thinks he's so tough because he's got the whole town on his side." Kathy glanced back at the house. "Someone ought to teach him manners."

"Next time, I'll shove my Hand of Reckoning up his ass," Tyler seethed.

"Kathy...Tyler...please don't..." Ellen sighed.

"Seriously, we don't need to cause any more trouble here!" Kyle yelled.

Tyler then stepped in front of Kyle. "Oh stop being a virtue signalling little bitch! You didn't do shit at all, we at least tried to get shit done!"

"Yeah, seriously Kyle," Wendy added.

Kyle turned his attention to Wendy. "Wendy, you are literally the biggest hypocrite here!"

Bebe joined in with Kyle now. "Yeah, seriously! How about recounting the time you tried to sabotage me because you were jealous I was getting the attention of all the boys, or the way you treat Stan?!"

"You don't need to automatically take Kyle's side," Ellen said calmly. "We tried different methods, it seemed nothing worked. We can't really blame anyone-"

"Oh fuck off, Ellen!" Bebe yelled. "You're so impartial to everything, it's like you're a ghost and nothing else!"

"Says the greedy idiot," Wendy muttered.

I normally consider myself a patient kid, but I'm losing it fast at this point. Therefore I felt my lungs explode upon the rest of my party. "OH STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!" I first pointed at Tyler. "You're a fucking dick!" Next I pointed at Chris. "You're a fucking scumbag!" Then I pointed at Ellen. "You're so fucking passive!" Next I pointed at Kathy. "You're just plain obnoxious and annoying!" Then I pointed at Bebe. "You're a greedy bitch, and you constantly white knight Kyle!" I then pointed at Kyle. "All you ever do is complain about everything we try to do!" Then I pointed at Wendy. "And you're a sexist whore!" I was breathing heavily after that, as if I just ran two miles nonstop just now.

Wendy folded her arms and glared at me, while the others simply looked down at their own feet, hurt by my words. "Then what does that make you then, Stan?"

"I guess..." I sighed. This was the problem with me. Going in I thought this would be another adventure, I thought finding Cartman and Douchebag was easy. But right now, we majorly shot ourselves in the foot, and I haven't really done anything valuable as leader besides driving a car. "...I'm not a great leader at all." I didn't want to face them anymore. I simply just walked across the street. There weren't houses across the street on this particular road - it was all just mostly open fields of snow. There was one bush with snow on top nearby, and I simply sat behind it out of line of sight and began to cry in my knees.

I felt bad, and I probably shouldn't have publicly called out all my friends there, but I didn't want to face them just yet. Maybe I'll give them some time.


When I checked my phone again, it was 4:35 PM. Apparently I've been sobbing for that long. I was wiping the tears from my eyes when Kyle and Bebe finally came to the bush where I sat.

"You're still here after all this time?" Bebe said coldly. I nodded silently.

"Stan," Kyle said. "We get you're frustrated at us, but you can't just avoid us forever like this. You're still one of us."

I shook my head. "I'm not a great leader at all." It's rather funny how often people delegate me to leadership status back in South Park when truthfully I don't feel that confident at all.

"You don't have to do everything on your own, you could have me lead for a bit," Kyle suggested.

I glanced up at him. Even though I probably should just take the back seat, I can't help but feel Kyle has some ulterior motive. "What are you planning?"

Kyle glanced back towards the tavern then looked down at me again. "You heard what Dustin said. There's a gender war going on, and maybe it's our chance at being heroes."

"Besides," Bebe added. "We really kinda pissed off the town, so we might as well use this chance to repay them. Plus they probably know where Douchebag and Cartman went anyways."

"It could take too long though," I argued.

Kyle shook his head. "I don't think so. Yeah, Cartman is probably planning something huge - he always is. But being a hero isn't just about defeating the big bad. You can always help in a number of smaller ways."

"Like it or not, the town needs us," Bebe added. "I was like them; deluded in all this boy versus girl bullcrap. But these kids are desperate for answers. Maybe we can save them."

Whether I liked it or not, Kyle's and Bebe's words invigorated me. I wiped away the last of my tears and finally managed to stand on my own two feet. "You both are absolutely right. But I don't think I have the energy to lead right now. Kyle...would you help out for now?"

Kyle nodded and smiled. "Of course, dude. You're my friend. We're always there for each other." I smiled back as well.

Bebe and I followed Kyle back to the rest of the party where they stood silently in front of the mailbox, having not really moved in the past few minutes. They looked towards us as they saw us approach. "Alright, for now, Kyle will take the lead," I said. "I just want to calm down and rest."

Kyle nodded. "Yeah. And regardless of our reputation here, this town really needs us. I say we help stop this gender war here. Anyone object?" The rest of us were still rather silent, but nobody raised their hand. "Alright."

We headed back into the tavern and Dustin and Chloe were both still there. Both of them turned their attention to us. "Oh, you guys are back," Dustin said. "Did you rethink your plan here?"

Kyle walked up to the coffee table, now at the lead. "We'll take the job."

"Excellent. Chloe, hand me a notepad and pen." As Chloe left to the kitchen, Dustin continued to speak. "Sure, boys and girls have always had their rivalries, but it has never been this bad here in Middle Park. It's been happening as of recent too." Chloe then returned with a notepad and black pen. Dustin took both, flipped open the notepad, and began to write on it. "In fact, for us elementary schoolers, this has been happening since the beginning of this week."

"Wait..." Bebe's eyes opened wide. "Didn't Douchebag and Cartman come here on Sunday?"

"But if you're suggesting Cartman started this - which he probably did, given his track record - what incentive would he have?" Kathy asked.

"Could might as well be an obstacle," Chris said.

"A distraction," Tyler added. "Cartman isn't stupid. He'll cover his tracks well."

"I bet he hasn't covered all his tracks, though," Bebe countered.

Dustin finished writing. He put the pen down on the coffee table and tore the piece of paper he wrote on from the notepad. He then handed the note off to Kyle. "On here are both addresses of the boys' and girls' bases respectively - the top being the boys' and the bottom being the girls'. The boys' base is relatively close by so I would suggest starting with that too. The girls' aren't that far away, but it's a bit of time. Anyways, that's all I can really give you. Succeed, and I'll reward you eight handsomely. You have my word."

Kyle nodded. "Thank you."

"Good luck to you all," Dustin waved dismissively. "It's not going to be an easy feat."

After we all exited the building, Kyle looked back at the note. "Well, it's time to head off again. I never thought I find myself doing this again, but here we go." This will certainly not go downhill from here, but I do hope that things will be alright for us.


The gender war thing is a reference to another fic of mine that involved a gender war. I ended up deleting that fic as I didn't think it would end up well, as I had no real plan for that and I was just winging it. For this one, I wrote an entire storyboard, so I know exactly how everything will go. That said, hopefully you guys enjoyed that so far. Feel free to drop a review or whatever.