Chapter Three
Russian Roulette
December 2, 2009
Crowley sat at his desk drumming his fingers against the solid surface in thought. Of all the things he'd expected when Lucifer rose, radio silence wasn't one of them. He was about to get up when his cell phone rang and when his eyes fell to the caller ID, he raised an eyebrow before picking it up.
"Decided calling me was worth the effort?"
There was an annoyed huff at the other end of the phone, and Crowley couldn't help but smirk at the venom dripping off the voice on the other end.
"Your life's on the line too, remember that. We want to take you up on your offer."
Sam Winchester's voice was a perfect mix of annoyance, trepidation, and subtle threat. Really, the younger Winchester would fit in perfectly with any demons considering how layered he could make his every word.
"Lovely, but it isn't that simple, Moose."
"What the hell do you mean it isn't that simple? You said-"
"And I will keep my word. Now stand down and listen."
The sharp tone of his voice when he cut the hunter off seemed to register with the hot-headed man. After several moments of silence, Crowley continued.
"You need to understand what I'm risking by making this introduction, Moose. This isn't a goodwill trade."
"We aren't selling our souls to you, bastard."
Crowley scoffed and relaxed into his desk chair frowning heavily.
"I don't want your souls. They're a useless commodity given the situation. I want your word that when this is over you'll stay the hell out of my way."
There were several long seconds of silence on the other side of the phone before there was frantic, but muffled, talking. Crowley waited patiently and the voice that spoke next was Dean Winchester's perpetually gruff drawl.
"What the hell do you mean by staying out of your way, Crowley?"
"I have irons in the fire for when Lucifer is dealt with, Squirrel. I want your word that you two lumbering piles of flannel won't purposefully come after me once this mess is cleaned up."
"You're that confident about your ability to clean it up?"
This disbelief in Dean's voice made Crowley snort and he drawled back, "Me? No. I'm not stupid or powerful enough to go toe to toe with Lucifer."
"So what good are you?"
The question was snapped by Sam, and Crowley frowned at the hostile tone. He shouldn't be surprised about the hostility after what Ruby had done to the boy, but he didn't appreciate Sam's attitude.
"My contact has a way we could beat that tantrum-throwing child, but you have to pay the price."
"The price being we leave you the hell alone."
"Exactly."
The silence was deafening once more but finally, Dean spoke up. His voice was laced with reluctance, "Fine. Now who's this contact?"
"First, some ground rules."
"That wasn't the damn-"
"Watch your tone, Squirrel or I'll leave you to take your chances."
Crowley didn't bother to keep the annoyance out of his voice at the firm reprimand. As it was, he was reluctant to introduce the two temperamental hunters, and by extension their pet angel, to his contact. He'd rather keep her a secret, but given the current climate, it was time to change tack.
"I'm going to make this abundantly clear to you morons, so listen carefully. I'd rather leave you to burn then team up with you but as you know, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. At least for now."
There were more than a few muttered expletives that were incomprehensible over the sound of a car driving down an open highway. Crowley decided he was safe to continue on when the Winchester's didn't say anything more.
"Rule number one is quite simple and I'm sure one the both of you have run into before: don't ask questions that aren't relevant to the situation at hand. Understood?"
He didn't want there to be any misunderstanding in regards to this situation and decided to drop his teasing of the two hunters completely.
"Fine."
Sam's dry one-word answer had the demon continuing, "Rule number two is specifically for you Dean Winchester. I want you on your best damn behavior."
There was a loud screeching of tires and cursing from what sounded like a startled Sam Winchester before Dean's voice snapped, "The hell do you mean by that?"
The offended tone was dripping off every ground out word and Crowley snorted as he responded cooly.
"I mean that you have a habit of putting your foot in it. This time it could cost your life so I suggest you watch yourself."
"You're a fucking ba-"
"What else?"
Sam cut off his brother before the older hunter could launch into a rant and Crowley plowed on wanting to get done with this conversation as quickly as possible.
"Three, you will meet my contact unarmed. It wouldn't do you much good anyway."
"How do we know your contact won't kill us?"
Sam's question carried more skepticism than the entire conversation so far. Crowley sighed in aggravation as he responded, "You'll have to take my word for it. If it makes you feel better, bring that pet angel of yours. He could bail you out in moments without any need for a weapon."
When silence greeted his suggestion, Crowley decided to quickly push on to the last rule.
"The final rule is a simple one, boys. If you break any of the rules I've outlined and piss my contact off, it's on you. I will end our agreement immediately and you'll be on your own to figure out how to deal with Lucifer."
"You'll turn on us?"
Crowley had never heard such a potent mix of disbelief and fury in one human voice and found himself reluctantly impressed with Dean Winchester's ability to express his displeasure.
"If that's how you choose to see it, yes. I'll simply be siding with an ally I've had far longer than I've known you, perhaps even longer than dear Samuel has been alive."
"You'll let the world burn for some stupid contact?"
"Yes."
His single word no-nonsense answer seemed to bring the Winchester's up short. For a moment, Crowley wondered if the hunters had hung up on him. He was about to put the phone down himself when Dean asked tightly, "Where are we going?"
"Bellevue, Washington. My contact lives near Newport Shores."
"You've got to be shitting me."
Dean sounded utterly annoyed and Crowley scrunched his brow as he frowned in response to the increased hostility, "Is there a problem?"
"That's clear on the other side of the freakin country."
"Where are you?"
"Not that it's any of your damn business, but we're in Ohio."
Crowley mulled over the situation. It would take those idiots three days if not longer to get to Bellevue. With everything going on, time wasn't something they had a lot of.
"I could get you a flight from Ohio to Washington. We're under a rather strict time constraint after all, and the sooner we deal with this, the sooner I can get underground."
"I'm not freaking flying in a plane with tickets given to me by a damn demon. Do I look stupid to you?"
"You really don't want me to answer that, Squirrel."
Crowley couldn't help the slip. Really, you'd think the hunter would be more grateful for the offer. Did this idiot really want to drive through the bloody Rockies in the winter?
"Dean, maybe we should take him up on the offer. Remember the last time we tried to pass the Rocky Mountains in winter? That and the forecast said there was a major snowstorm about to come down from Canada."
"Perhaps you should listen to your brother, Dean. I really don't have the time for you to get stranded in the mountains."
Crowley didn't bother to keep the annoyance out of his voice. There was an annoyed huff and he could hear the phone being set down as an argument ensued between the two brothers. Crowley rolled his eyes and pulled his cellphone away from his ear as the two argued. He found himself sending a text to his contact that he'd be coming by in the next few days. Several moments after it was sent, a response came as the octave of yelling increased on the other side of the phone.
Finally decided to come see lil ole me? Should I be honored or afraid?
Crowley snorted and he could hear the sarcasm dripping off the text. He quickly typed out a response as a third voice joined the argument the hunters were having. He really wasn't paying attention to what was being said at this point.
Honored of course. I'm assuming you still have a bottle of my scotch?
The response came moments later just as there was a shout of "Fine!" from the phone.
I've had a bottle at my wet bar these past three years. See you in a few days, Crowley.
Before Crowley could contemplate the response to his question Sam's voice came clear over the phone, "Hey, Crowley?"
"You two finally sort it out?"
His question was met with two huffs from the hunters and a soft sigh that he was pretty sure belonged to the boys' pet angel.
"I'm going to take you up on that flight offer. Can you get me a flight out of Sioux Falls or nearby?"
Crowley raised an eyebrow at Sam's relatively polite question but hummed softly, "I can. Your brother isn't oining you?"
"No. He's being a stubborn ass. He'll meet me there, but at least this way I'll be local if his dumbass gets stuck in the snow."
There was mild cursing and Crowley smirked at the annoyance dripping off Sam's voice.
"That's a small airport. There will likely be a connection."
"Don't care. At least I won't be driving through a freaking blizzard."
Crowley chuckled and drummed his fingers against the desk, "Very well. I'll book you a flight and send the relevant details. Tell that brother of yours he better be in Bellevue in five days' time, or else our deal is off."
"Fine. See you then."
The phone cut off, and Crowley hung up as well. He frowned as he saw another text message and opened it.
Be careful making your way here. Demon activity has been higher than normal lately.
He sighed and flipped the phone shut. Of course, it wouldn't be as simple as appearing in Washington. There were several contracts he could finish off on the west coast without making his movements overt. It seemed he'd need those five days as well.
Line Break
Bobby looked up from his book at the familiar sound of a Chevy engine coming up his driveway. He set down the book, stood up, and made his way to the front door. He was almost there when he heard three doors shut, and an argument began between Sam and Dean. He sighed and opened the door to see the brothers walking side by side, bitching at each other. Castiel trailed behind them looking a touch amused at whatever it was the two were arguing about.
"'Bout time ya idjits made your way here."
"Not our fault. We got thrown into some stupid alternate reality by a freaking archangel pretending to be a Trickster."
"Scuse me?"
Bobby couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice at Dean's whined statement. Sam sighed but smiled in greeting as they made their way inside. Castiel remained silent but he noted that some of the tension in the angel's shoulders melted away as they entered the house.
"Eh, it's a long story, Bobby. Truth is, we're only passing through. We wanted to get you up to date on everything that's happened before heading out again. I've actually got a flight to catch in the morning."
Sam's voice drifted back from the living room as he shut the door behind the three of them. Bobby frowned as he walked back into the house in time to see Dean fall onto his couch with a tired sigh.
"Flight? How in the name of God did you convince your brother to get on a plane?"
Sam huffed and Dean glared half-heartedly at his brother. Castiel rolled his eyes and turned his gaze heavenward as if he was looking for some form of divine intervention.
"I didn't. This idiot thinks driving through the freaky Rockies was the better way to go. I learned from the last time."
"We've gotten stuck once, bitch. Stop acting like it's the end of the world."
"Dean, it was -15 and it took us eight fucking hours to get moving. You couldn't pay me to do that again."
Dean opened his mouth, likely to argue that the situation hadn't been that bad, but Bobby cut him off.
"Where ya heading to?"
"Bellevue, Washington. We decided that Crowley was our best option especially after our run in with Gabriel."
Sam's casual statement had Bobby pinching the bridge of his nose. He loved these boys but sometimes they got into the stupidest situations and didn't realize how outlandish their stories sounded to an outside observer.
"Alright, back the hell up. You met the Archangel Gabriel, who for reasons I can't even begin to guess was green lighting as a freaking Trickster?"
Dean hummed in agreement from his place on the couch with his head tilted back. He already looked half asleep and Bobby wondered how fast the boy had been going to get here. Castiel was eyeing the hunter with thinly veiled concern which told its own story. Dean had likely been going far past the legal speed limit to get here, and was exhausted from what had transpired in Ohio.
"He and Cas kinda went at it. He had refused from the gate to help us so Cas ripped him a new asshole. Honestly Bobby, you'd be so proud. Sauntered in there like a damn Winchester, and started tearing strips off someone who could kill 'em with a snap of his fingers."
Dean sounded a mix between giddy and overly proud of the angel and Bobby raised an eyebrow at Castiel. The angel looked embarrassed and turned away from the questioning look. Leave it to Dean to be impressed by charging into a situation without care about the consequences because someone deserved to be chewed out. Bobby sighed and sat at his desk just as Sam fell down next to his brother. Castiel sat in the chair closest to Dean as Bobby ran his hand over his face before speaking.
"Alright, story from the top."
Sam started to explain what happened with Dean interjecting every once in a while. Bobby frowned when Sam had brought up the archangel threatening Castiel, but put it aside for now. As the story came to a close, Dean was dozing lightly, his head leaning against his brother's shoulder. They must not have rested long at the motel, and from the way it sounded they were in that alternate reality for several days. Dean would need at least eight hours of rest to recoup from that before hitting the road if they were going cross country.
"So, Castiel is going to take the ride with Dean?"
"Yeah. At the end of the day it is best for one of us to be on site before meeting up with Crowley."
Sam kept his voice quiet so he wouldn't disturb Dean. Bobby hummed in response as he pulled out his contact book. Call him paranoid, but he was starting to wonder if it was time to call in his big gun. He didn't want his boys anywhere near a crossroads demon with delusions of grandeur who seemed to actually have more than a pinch of common sense and a disgusting amount of cunning. Still, their reasoning was sound. They were running out of time to deal with this problem and there were no solutions in sight.
"Ya better get some rest. If Dean is still asleep in the morning I'll drop ya at the airport."
Sam yawned and nodded as he gently shoved Dean off him. His brother gave a soft grunt but otherwise didn't make a sound as he readjusted himself to lie on the couch. Sam grabbed a pillow and blanket before placing it out on the floor, and within moments of lying down was sound asleep. Castiel stood up to move out of the room but Bobby stopped him.
"So, ya went off on your older brother."
Castiel looked uncomfortable at the direct question but nodded.
"I did. I didn't say anything I didn't feel was true."
"Ya should be more careful. Dean had a point; your brother coulda killed ya."
Castiel looked away and shrugged his shoulders slightly. It was a behavior he'd seen Dean do more than once. Bobby wondered how many of the boys' mannerisms Castiel had picked up from being with them on a near constant basis. Lashing out at Gabriel was a prime example of something the angel never would have done prior to meeting the Winchesters. Castiel had been the pinnacle of an obedient soldier when Bobby had first met him. Each time he saw the angel after that though, the more human he seemed to become. It was subtle changes, but not seeing him anywhere near as often as the boys meant Bobby was able to pick up on it more readily than they would. He'd become this strange mixture of human and angelic that left Bobby wondering how to treat him. He'd finally decided to treat him as he would Sam and Dean, and the first time he'd tore into all three of them for their idiocy, the angel had looked as abashed as the boys. There was more though, he swore he'd seen the slightest hint of happiness at being treated the same as Sam and Dean.
"Gabriel had it coming. If my sister were alive I'm sure she'd have said far worse."
The reminiscent statement took Bobby by surprise but he didn't show it. Instead he hummed in acknowledgment.
"Perhaps ya were just channeling her from the grave then. Just remember that you aren't the biggest fish in the pond, Castiel. The boys need ya, and getting killed leaves ya no help to them."
"I know. I should have backed down when Gabriel lost his temper but he just-"
The angel trailed off with an aggravated sigh and Bobby gave him a searching look. There was still no tension in Castiel's shoulders but he looked aggravated and on edge. This situation with Gabriel had affected him far more than it had Sam or Dean, and he doubted that the angel had discussed just how much it had with either of them.
"He got under your skin. Nothing wrong with that. Just be careful how ya handle situations like that. No one wants to see ya broken and bloody."
"I'll keep that in mind, thank you Bobby."
The sincerity in the angel's statement had Bobby turning back to his book with a huff.
"Don't mention it. Ya should get some rest too. Ya look a little haggard from your encounter."
The angel tilted his head in curiosity and looked over at Sam and Dean who were now sound asleep. He stood up for a moment and took his jacket off before sitting back in the chair. It was a bit humorous to see the angel squirm trying to get comfortable in the chair with his jacket draped over him like a makeshift blanket. Bobby took pity on him and stood up grabbing a spare pillow and handing it to the angel. Castiel grabbed it looking at it strangely for a few moments before placing it at the side of his head and resting against it.
"Angels really can't sleep?"
Bobby asked the question as he sat back at his desk. Castiel hummed, shutting his eyes.
"Not really. We will sleep when gravely injured to recoup our grace if in a vessel. We can also sleep if we choose to but it takes focus and is normally only a light doze at best."
"Well, ya better focus then. Dean is a taskmaster when he gets on the road, and you're gonna have to make him take breaks since Sam won't be there."
Castiel snorted but seemed to relax further into the chair. Within moments all three boys were breathing steadily. Bobby quickly flipped through his contact book, not that he had to search far, before he found the name he was looking for. He quickly dialed the number and it rang for a few moments before a smooth deep voice answered.
"This is Rowen Anderson, if you're calling for an exorcist please know I retired years ago. If you're calling about the Orphanage, I'm more than happy to talk with you."
"There ain't no retirement in the Vatican's eyes, Anderson. We both know that."
Bobby's statement caused a sharp inhale from the man on the other end of the phone.
"Robert Singer. Long time. What can I do for you?"
That had to be one of the things he liked about the Vatican backed exorcist; man was polite to a fault to those who'd earned his respect. Didn't hurt that they were only a year apart in age. They shared a similar outlook on life because of that and it meant it wasn't a chore to talk to the man unlike most hunters.
"I'm having a bit of a unique problem, and I could use some of your occult knowledge to help solve it."
There was a small hum and he could hear the man relaxing back into his chair. He was likely still in his office despite the late hour.
"Drop the pretense, Bobby. Every hunter knows that the Winchesters cracked the lid on the apocalypse."
Bobby froze at the accusation, and he went to refute it when the exorcist sighed.
"It ain't their fault, of course. When Heaven and Hell decide to agree, there really isn't much we can do against their machinations, is there?"
The tension that had settled into his shoulders suddenly had nowhere to go, and Bobby huffed.
"You're a dick sometimes, ya know that? To answer your question, we can fight like Hell against it."
The man chuckled, "Of course. I personally like the world spinning. How are your boys doing, Bobby? Have there been any idiots who've come after them?"
"No. They would have said something."
"Good. That's good. Now what type of knowledge do you need?"
"A way to kill an archangel."
There was radio silence on the other side of the phone for several seconds before Rowen let out an aggravated sigh.
"Why is it you can't ever call and just ask me over for a beer, Bobby?"
"Cause ya don't drink like the rest of us do, and ya live almost ten hours away."
"Still! You call and ask for something I'm not even sure the fucking Vatican has knowledge of."
Bobby rolled his eyes at the aggravation in his friend's voice. He knew the man would actually look forward to the challenge but he'd bitch about it long and hard before he admitted it.
"Ya done?"
"No. Answer me this, which archangel are trying to kill?"
"In theory? Lucifer. In practice? I'd happily wipe out Michael too."
Rowen gave a thoughtful hum and he could hear the sound of fingers thrumming against wood. After a moment he spoke up, "Can you pick me up at the airport in two days time?"
"Scuse me?"
"This isn't something we should discuss over the phone, Bobby. I need to dig up some books but I'd rather have this talk behind your wards. We can go over the lore together."
"Fine. The boys will be back on the road by then so the couch will be free."
"You wouldn't clear out the guest bedroom for me? My back isn't what it used to be."
There was a small pout in the man's voice and Bobby rolled his eyes.
"I don't even do that for the boys, and you think I'd do it for you?"
"Ah, it was worth a try. I'll book the flight and send you the details. See you in a few days, Bobby."
"Thanks, Rowen."
He made sure the man heard the sincerity in his voice, and there was a soft hum before the line went dead. Bobby hung up the phone and with a sigh stood up and shut off his desk lamp. With one last glance at the three men sleeping in his living room, he allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he headed up to his room.
