This is going to be a super long chapter. There's a bit of racial slurs in this chapter. You have been forewarned.
Chapter Thirteen - Path of the Rogue.
Cartman is the one responsible for Douchebag's disappearance. He's in North Park right now, same as us, looking for something called the Lasso of Truth. If the Wonder Woman comics are anything to go by, he probably doesn't want to be exposed as using his "Mitch Connor" persona to do evil things. And if the Kids Next Door threats are to go by, those kids are probably under the influence of Douchebag, who's under the influence of Cartman. Make sure you and Kenny get the word out to every fourth grader in school. We need to put an end to that fatass immediately.
I mulled over the text message that I wrote on my phone directed towards Butters. I trust Kenny more, but he doesn't have a smartphone, so Butters is the next best alternative. The others were looking right over my shoulder, inspecting the text message I'm about to send out. We were all in North Park Elementary, standing in front of the door that said "Fourth Grade". Otherwise, the interior was mostly the same as the school back in our hometown.
"Maybe this will finally get people to wake the fuck up." Bebe could only let out a scoff from her throat.
"Looks good to me, Stan." Kyle gave me a thumbs up.
Wendy smiled sweetly at me. "I agree. Send it."
I hit send, and in less than three seconds, the text message already read that it was sent straight to Butters. I then clicked off my phone and put it back in my pocket. "Hopefully, they'll listen to Kenny and Butters this time."
"Didn't we already discuss how stubborn the idiots in our fourth grade can be?" Tyler leaned his back against the wall next to the doorknob.
Kathy held her right palm out as she directed her attention on Tyler. "Hey, positive thoughts, people. I'm sure they'll do the right thing."
I gave a brief nod towards Kathy before turning my gaze upon the doorway. "And now we have a different problem." I looked over to Wendy and Ellen first. "Your pets are gonna have to stay here. Don't think the others inside will appreciate it." I then turned to Bebe. "No shapeshifting." Then I eyed Kyle. "And no totems." I finally turned back to the doorway. "Other than that, get ready guys. There's no telling what lies beyond that door."
"They'll make us go in regardless," Chris muttered.
"Mhm." I nodded at Chris before placing my right hand on the doorknob. "Well Jesus, have mercy on us today, will ya?" Yeah, I'm Catholic, but I'm really not that fanatical. Of course, based on my past experience here, I better say my prayers as I'll need all the luck I can get. I let out a harsh exhale. "Okay. Here we go." I then turned the knob and opened the door, and our party, minus the pets, went in.
Ellen, being the last inside, closed the door behind us. I scanned the room. The room was mostly packed. The seats were arranged in four rows of ten, though in the second and third row, there were eight empty seats, in two rows of four, in the middle, as if expecting us to arrive. As for the seats that were already filled up, every kid (both boys and girls), as expected, wore black robes and a red-and-yellow-striped tie. However, there was one row in the very front that was already filled, and from left to right in perspective of a seating chart, there was a boy with black hair and a chubby face, another black-haired boy but with glasses, a ginger boy, and a girl with light brown hair. And in front and center was an old woman with gray hair tied in a bun and glasses.
"Oh my fucking God, you weren't kidding when you mentioned Harry Potter," Ellen whispered fiercely.
"Neville, Harry, Ron, and Hermione." Kyle was able to discern who was who immediately thanks to having read and watched Harry Potter. Then again, the rest of us did the same, so it was no surprise that we could immediately find the identity of these mimics.
Wendy sighed deeply as she tightly gripped my right hand with her left. "Here we go again." I didn't mind her practically trying to crush my hand; the more pressing matter at the moment is the entire class.
"Ah, I've received a phone call about you eight. I have here a Kyle Broflovski-" She pointed at Kyle. "-Kathy Freeman-" She pointed at Kathy. "-Tyler Hoffman-" She pointed at Tyler. "-Christopher Howard-" She pointed at Chris. "-Ellen Joseph-" She pointed at Ellen. "-Stanley Marsh-" She pointed at me. "-Bebe Stevens-" She pointed at Bebe. "-and Wendy Testaburger." She pointed at Wendy. "I'm familiar with Stanley and Wendy here, as they were here once before, but the other six is a no. Regardless, I am Mrs. Minerva McGonagall. You will be here until after lunch when I eventually send you eight to Principal Albus Dumbledore, where he will deal with you after."
"I fucking hate this so much," I seethed. This is a literal repeat, and a terrible one at that.
"Take your seats, children," Mrs. McGonagall commanded.
We did as told without hesitation. Chris, Kathy, Tyler, and Ellen took the third row in that order, and in the second row sitting right in front of the former four were myself, Wendy, Kyle, and Bebe. As we sat down to listen to Mrs. McGonagall drone on about whale sharks, I couldn't help but notice the other four that were periodically glancing back to make mean faces at us, such as sticking out their tongues, making pig noses, or just sneering at us. This was gonna be a very long morning.
When the bell for morning recess rang, Mrs. McGonagall called out, much to our dismay, "I would like Kyle, Kathy, Tyler, Christopher, Ellen, Stanley, Bebe, and Wendy to stay here during recess. Everyone else you may leave."
"Oh Goddamnit," Kyle whispered fiercely.
As the rest of the children filed outside, Harry Potter turned to us as he got up out of his seat. "Don't think I haven't forgotten what you and Wendy have done to me a month ago, Stanley."
"What the hell do you want?" My heart was beating quickly out of anger. I let out a harsh exhale, doing the best I can to remain calm.
"Nothing, just reminding you of your dirt status as bigoted, racist, sexist white trash kids," Harry laughed. "Don't think I haven't kept up with what happened in your town, mistreating women and all." He turned to Kyle. "And you - you and your mother both started wars with Canada, and your father the infamous 'skankhunt42'."
"Will you fuck off on outta here?!" Kyle yelled. He curled his fists as lightning sparks began to form within, wanting so badly to cast Lightning Bolt at Harry Potter.
Harry did notice Kyle's attempted spellcast. But he laughed. "Typical male bigot from South Park, having to resort to violence" Harry brandished his wand at Kyle. "This isn't over, not by a long shot! Watch yourselves, hicks!"
As Harry left, lightning dissipated from Kyle's hands. I curled my hands into fists, my knuckles nearly turning white. I wanted so badly to punch Harry in his smart mouth to get him to shut up and fuck off. I don't care if I get into more trouble. But he was with his butt buddy friends, and they soon moved out. "Goddamnit."
"Who the fuck does he think he is?" Tyler scoffed.
"Just because he got popular from a book he never wrote don't mean he can treat us like that," Kathy complained.
"I hope he dies," I groaned.
"So do I," Wendy agreed.
"I can't wait to kick that dude's ass," Kyle growled. "Sick of people pointing out past mistakes."
"He'll get what's coming to him," Bebe commented. "Eventually."
Our entire party didn't move from our seats. Mrs. McGonagall was pacing back-and-forth at the front of the classroom. "So this is the second time this school year that I have to deal with delinquents from South Park. And I recognize the two of you-" Mrs. McGonagall especially glared at Wendy and me. "-Stanley and Wendy."
"It is what it is," I said nonchalantly.
"Don't you dare take that tone with me, young man!" Mrs. McGonagall swiftly pointed her right index finger straight at me. Then she put her hand down. "Honestly, I'm not even surprised that you truants decided that roleplaying World of Warcraft is more important than staying in your hometown."
"Well believe it or not, we have important business here." Bebe folded her arms as she leaned back on her chair, pouting.
Mrs. McGonagall turned her attention to Bebe now. "And what exactly is this 'important business' you have here?"
"None of your fucking business." I flashed a thumbs up to Tyler due to his response. It really is none of her fucking business.
Mrs. McGonagall gripped her forehead and sighed. "It very much is my business, taking you under my wing out of my good grace after all. I could just as easily have send you all to the police station right now, let the police deal with you all." She stopped right in front of me. "However, I have a duty, as a teacher, to make sure every child gets the education they deserve, and I do mean every child. And no matter how many lines I may cross, how painful it may be for all of us, I will do my duty as an educator, or so help me God-"
"Alright!" I turned to Ellen, who was the one who let out the outburst. "We needed to find Cartman because he's gonna do something bad! We don't know what exactly though, but I'm sure it's nothing good!" It wasn't surprising to see that Ellen was the first to crack underneath the pressure as she kept her head down, refusing to look at anyone.
"...what kind of baloney are you spouting?" Well this was the response I expected, but a response I didn't really want nonetheless.
"You don't believe us at all, do you?" Chris asked.
"If you're going to keep making up stories and spreading lies, then I see no use discussing anything with you delinquents," Mrs. McGonagall spat back, no less angry than before.
"Look, we're telling you that we're telling the truth," Kathy tried to reason, but seemingly to no avail. "Cartman is bad, we're trying to stop him, and he's in North Park, and we need to be here."
"You have no good reason to be here!" Mrs. McGonagall yelled back. "Not one of you have demonstrated that you deserve to be leaving school and your hometown!"
Wendy crossed her legs and folded her arms, her expression soured. "We never needed your approval anyways."
"With that kind of attitude, young lady, you'll get what's coming to you eventually." Mrs. McGonagall walked over to her own desk and took out a piece of paper. "Now I need to run copies of this crossword puzzle for class. Don't move anywhere. If any one you have left this classroom, all you eight will be in big trouble. And I will know." As she turned to open the door to leave the classroom, I promptly flipped her off. Guess I'm becoming more like Craig every day.
"Prefects, huh?" Chris muttered softly.
"This is literally Harry Potter to the worst degree," Ellen complained.
"Told you," I spat angrily.
"This fucking sucks." Tyler leaned back on his chair and folded his arms. "We're stuck here because Taylor Swift dropped us off at the police station, that bitch."
"What do we do now?" Kathy asked. "If we leave, we'll be in trouble, and I'd rather not find out what 'in trouble' really means."
"We could always ask the other children," Kyle suggested. "Ask 'em about Cartman, Douchebag, and the Lasso."
"Last I checked Kyle," Bebe said sourly, "Middle Park didn't take kindly to us since we're from Zaron...er, South Park, and if what Stan and Wendy did to Harry Potter was true-" She glared at Wendy and me. "-I have a feeling getting information out of them isn't going to be the easiest thing to do."
"Harry Potter did start this. He hates South Park. Thinks we're all disgusting, dirty, racist rednecks who fuck each other's siblings." Wendy's right. Harry Potter is a bigoted piece of shit.
"Yeah, it's really only Cartman that's all of that...except that very last part, Wendy." I nodded at Wendy before turning to the others. "You guys are right though. We do need to get outta here."
"We just have to wait a bit," Kyle sighed. "Wait until lunch, then see what we're gonna do next."
"All I know is that this is gonna be a long two hours." Wendy put her left elbow on her desk, and leaned her left cheek on her left hand. "A very long two hours."
For the next two hours, first we did a crossword puzzle about the planets in our solar system. Then, we learned about division in math. Afterwards, it was lunch time. Our entire party sat at a rectangular table with Wendy's and Ellen's pets sitting right by the table's side. Me, Wendy, Kyle, and Bebe sat one one side while Chris, Kathy, Tyler, and Ellen sat on the other (I sat right across from Ellen and next to Wendy). For lunch, we had tacos. And just like before, the nearby children periodically glanced at us before whispering to each other, as if gossiping about us. This is literally becoming a repeat of what happened last time.
Wendy has yet to touch her taco. "I actually hate North Park."
"That's one thing we can both agree on," Ellen replied.
"I was trying to eavesdrop on the others in class," Chris mentioned. "But so far, nothing about Cartman or the Lasso. Did anyone hear anything?"
"Not me," Tyler replied. "All I heard was bullshit like how they 'ruined Ron Weasley in the movies'. Like that even matters at all."
"It is possible that the others here are just that stupid and clueless," Kathy said.
But Kyle shook his head, rejecting Kathy's theory. "No, Kathy. They have to know something about Cartman here. It would be too convenient for them not to, especially when Cartman and Douchebag should both stick out like sore thumbs here."
"Kyle's right, but where do we begin?" Bebe asked.
"If my hunch is correct, Neville, Hermione, Ron, and Harry should be the most popular kids at school..." Wendy paused for a moment before continuing. "...which means that they might know a thing or two about what is going on here."
"Whatever we plan on doing, we better do it fast," I said.
"Let's try to get info from them," Wendy concluded. "It won't be easy - we may need to do things in a less-than-honorable manner, but it's the only way."
I glanced at the others. "Does everyone agree with this?" The other kids nodded. "Alright. Let's do this."
After five minutes of quickly eating lunch, we departed from the cafeteria, not even bothering to clean after our own messes we made. There were already children roaming the halls during this lunch period. When we rounded the corner left, we saw Neville Longbottom. He wore black robes and a red-and-yellow-striped tie. His hair was black and short.
"Maybe he might have the information," Kyle said.
"I don't think walking up to him and asking him politely is gonna work," Kathy remarked.
"I'll try it this once, I guess."
Kyle walked forward to Neville. Neville was busy rearranging his locker. I wasn't sure what exactly he was rearranging as the interior of his locker wasn't visible to me. When Kyle was finally only inches away, Neville slammed his locker shut and glared angrily at Kyle. "What the hell do you want?"
"I'm guessing you know exactly why we're here?" Kyle asked.
Neville folded his arms, not letting Kyle out of his sight. "Whatever the reason, I doubt it is worth the conversation time."
"Please listen," Kyle pleaded. "We're looking for two boys from South Park who came through here, possibly today. One fat kid and one with pink hair, and-"
But Neville stomped his right foot loudly, interrupting Kyle. "Listen here, you smoothbrain! You are all irrelevant! All of your needs are irrelevant! I don't need to answer to white trash hicks like you! Get out of my sight!"
Kyle visibly clenched his fists. I groaned. I hope Kyle doesn't try to do something rash. But before anything else could happen, Kathy grabbed Kyle by the back of his jacket and dragged him back. "Alright, you tried your way, leave it to me."
"Please do," Kyle seethed as he regained his balance, "before I zap his ass."
Kathy nodded. Neville shifted his glare upon Kathy now as she approached him this time, ready to scrutinize the boy. "So, you gonna talk, or are you gonna-"
"Are you daft, you stupid cunt?!" Neville interrupted once more. Damn, this guy is actually a jackass in school it seems, much unlike the movies where he was basically some awkward guy. I guess all the fame got to his head eventually.
But then Kathy used her left hand to grab Neville by his collar, and she slammed him onto his own locker. "How about you fucking tell us - before I ice you?!"
"You...wouldn't...dare!" Neville tried to wriggle free. However, Kyle and I immediately jumped in to help subdue Neville; Kyle held Neville's right arm onto the locker while I held down Neville's left.
"Thanks guys." Kathy nodded at me and Kyle before turning back to Neville. She held up her right hand, forming a large and sharp icicle. "Don't test me, idiot."
"F-fine!" Neville conceded.
"Impressive," Chris remarked.
"You go, girl!" Bebe cheered.
"Alright. Eric Cartman. Raymond Irvington. Stick of Truth. Lasso of Truth. Any of those things ring a bell to you?" Neville remained silent, so Kathy reeled back her right arm as she held the conjured icicle. "You better start talking before I-"
"I don't know! Honest!" That response caused Kathy to groan. But Neville continued, "B-but I do know someone who might know those things!"
"Who?" Kathy asked.
"Ron Weasley!" Neville replied. "Well, his sister Ginny Weasley knows more, but Ron knows exactly where his sister hangs out at lunch, he can show you. But he's in the library upstairs. And the library is being guarded by Hermione Granger?"
This was rather odd. Why the hell would they be guarding a library right now? None of this makes any sense. "And why would this happen?" Kathy asked.
"She doesn't want you eight looking for answers!" Neville replied.
Kathy looked at the rest of us. Then she let Neville go as the icicle melted into water, dripping all over the ground. "Let him go." Kyle and I did as told, letting go of Neville's arms.
After Neville was let go, he stood up straight. "Fuck you all! Potter will hear about this!" He flipped us off before walking out of sight.
Tyler shook his head. "What a fucking loser."
"So, now we go upstairs?" Wendy asked.
"Yeah," I replied.
Just like in our elementary school, the library in North Park Elementary was upstairs. Quickly as we could, we headed up there, doing our best to avoid any student that might be in our way. When we arrived to the door to the library, it turned out that Neville was indeed telling the truth. Hermione Granger, dressed just like Neville, was standing in front of the door. Her brown hair was tied in a ponytail, but otherwise, she is exactly what anyone would expect. The eight of us walked up to her.
Hermione, of course, noticed our approach. She immediately took her wand out. "Nuh uh uh. Not a step further."
"What's this?" I asked.
"You're not going into this library at all. Unless you wanna get blasted." Hermione did not budge one bit, despite eight of us being around. "And if you think all eight of you are gonna gang up on me, think again."
"So people turn a blind eye to one-on-one duels?" Wendy asked.
"Of course not, if you even have the balls to take me on," Hermione retorted.
The eight of us stepped back. Ellen was the first to speak up. "There is no other choice, Stan."
"I don't know how to feel about beating up another girl, dude." Beating up girls is something that I'd rather not resort to. Sure, my sister Shelly is a bitch, but still, us boys are generally stronger than girls, so it's not right.
Tyler narrowed his eyes at me and scowled. I could tell he was not amused. "You had no issue with beating up Heidi Turner yesterday." I groaned. Tyler immediately saw through my own facade.
"Th-that was different, th-they were trying to k-kidnap Butters." Alright, I guess I would beat up girls if they tried to kidnap my friends. I suppose I learn something new every day. But the rest were silent, only staring at me. "Fine, I'll duel her." I walked over to Hermione, who continued to glare at us. "Alright, I challenge you to a duel."
"You? Duel me? Do you even project any magic?!" She began to laugh. "Hahahahaha. I only willingly duel the most esteemed wizards and witches! You're a mundane warrior! Begone!"
I sighed as I backed up towards the rest of our party. "Well, I tried."
"Well you didn't try hard enough." Tyler unsheathed his greatsword as he brushed past me towards Hermione. "Out of my way."
"Tell me you're not..." I started to say. But there was no stopping Tyler, especially when he has the intention to provoke Hermione. However, as he approached, the others in our party smiled and clapped, as if cheering him on. Wait what? "You guys are condoning this?"
"Hell yeah," Kathy replied.
"I hope he smashes her face in." This was surprising to hear from Wendy out of all people - especially being the biggest feminist.
"Have faith in him, Stan," Chris said. "I'm sure he'll pull through this time."
"She's good with fire by the way, if the books are anything to go by," Bebe mentioned towards Tyler.
"You can do this, Tyler!" Kyle cheered.
As Tyler approached Hermione with his greatsword out, Hermione eyed Tyler now. "Do you really think I'm gonna accept a duel from a paladin?"
But Tyler did exactly as I thought he would; he brought out his left hand and promptly flipped the girl the bird, and while doing so, his hand glowed bright with holy light. He had casted the Hand of Reckoning upon the girl. "Time for the reckoning, jackass!"
Hermione gripped her wand tightly as she went red with rage, the taunt spell seemingly worked on the poor girl. "W-W-W-W-W-WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU DIRTY REDNECK?! I'LL - I'LL FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!"
Tyler gripped his greatsword with both hands. "Light, guide my blade." He activated his Fire Resistance Aura.
Hermione let loose a bolt of blue flames towards Tyler. Tyler ran in, casting Sacred Shield on himself. When the flames hit him, he was burned a bit, but the shield was triggered, enclosing him in a weak bubble. This would refresh automatically periodically throughout the fight. Tyler casted Repentance, a rune of light that cause Hermione to slump over incapacitated. He ran to Hermione and casted Divine Storm, spinning with his sword in a whirl of holy energy that cut and seared Hermione with steel and light.
"Augh!" Hermione screamed in pain as she gripped her left side, a harsh, burned gash that oozed a bit of blood. "Take this!" Hermione let loose another spell. Rock hands bursted from the ground, gripping Tyler's feet while Hermione backed up.
Tyler was fast to cast Cleanse, as a coil of holy energy enraptured him, freeing him from the rocky hands instantly. He casted Judgement of Justice, a red hammer of light falling down to strike Hermione, searing her and partially charring her robes.
"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" A ghostly otter shot out of Hermione's wand, swimming through Tyler and stunning him in place as he slumped downwards. However, the stun faded immediately as a disc of orange light shone beneath Tyler's feet, seemingly casted Hand of Freedom upon himself to remove the stun. Hermione tried to shackle down Tyler with magical chains to slow him, but the orange disc shattered the chains immediately. Tyler couldn't be rooted nor slowed either. "What the hell is this?" She shot forth blue flames and Tyler was burned again.
Tyler was weakened now, his clothes burned and skin slightly blistered from burns. But he did not relent. Instead, he casted Hammer of Justice, a burst of light stunning Hermione this time. Then golden wings of light erupted from Tyler's back. "AVENGING WRATH!" Empowered by the light, Tyler began slicing away at Hermione with his greatsword, despite being heavily burned by blue flames already.
"Kick her ass, Tyler!" Ellen cheered.
When Hermione finally recovered from the stun, she was already cut up and seared badly. Using his sword, Tyler pushed Hermione back towards the door to the library. He slammed his sword down and a Hammer of Wrath was casted, a holy hammer flying from Tyler sword, striking Hermione and exploding in holy energies. Then Hermione fell to the ground, heavily burned and cut up. She'll survive the duel, but she'd be out for a while.
"Ha...weak." Tyler sheathed his greatsword on his back before stumbling onto the ground, falling on his butt. The wings of light faded from Tyler.
"Tyler!" Ellen immediately came to Tyler's side to help him stand while Kyle and Bebe also came over to begin healing Tyler's wounds with magic. "Those flames looked bad. Are you alright?"
"Don't worry," Tyler muttered. "I'll manage. I hope. Damn this hurts though."
"I'll say," Chris said. "At least you gave her what she deserved."
"I sure did," Tyler replied.
"Come on, man." Kyle held his hands over Tyler's stomach as his hands glowed with blue water. "Don't you die on me yet."
"Hey, Tyler?" I asked.
"What?" Tyler replied.
"You did good, dude."
"Mm..." It wasn't much of a verbal response from Tyler, but I could see the corners of his mouth form a slight smile. I knew deep down he appreciated the gesture.
"You probably shouldn't be fighting for a while. At least for the next few minutes." Chris grabbed Tyler's right arm and wrapped it around himself. "Come on, I'll help you walk."
"So will I." Ellen did the same with Tyler's left arm.
"So, we're all good to go then?" Kathy asked.
"Seems just like it," Bebe replied. "Lead the way, Stan."
We moved into the library. The layout was exactly like South Park Elementary's. However, when we got to the librarian's desk, it turned out to be none other than Ms. Ellen, the woman that Wendy had shot into the sun last year, and the woman whose spirit tried to kill us before she finally came back to life. "Oh...it's you eigh- wait, what are you kids doing here?!"
"We could ask you the same," Wendy retorted.
Ms. Ellen scanned our entire party. I'm not sure what she was thinking in her mind. However, her eyes then fell upon Tyler. "What happened to Tyler anyways?"
"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to," Chris muttered.
"Right..." was all Ms. Ellen could say.
I looked over to Chris and Ellen, who were still holding Tyler. "Sit him down somewhere." Chris and Ellen did as told, carrying Tyler over to an empty rectangular table, pulling up a chair, and seating him on it while Kyle and Bebe continued to heal his wounds with magic.
"So you're the new librarian now?" Kyle said the words rather slowly as he was more focused on healing Tyler.
"Until the end of the school year. I'm gonna be one of the new fifth grade teachers coming next fall." Oh joy. The woman whose spirit tried to kill us a month ago could potentially be our school teacher next year. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"Think that's the one, Stan?"
Kathy was the one who said that. She pointed down the library towards the side. I followed her finger and she directed my gaze upon one ginger boy who sat alone scribbling on a piece of paper using a wooden pencil, sitting at least thirty feet away from us. "Yeah. Must be Ron Weasley."
"Neville said Ron knows where Ginny hangs out at lunch," Bebe reminded. "Maybe if we could have him as our follower for a bit..."
Ellen stood up straight. "Guess that's my job then."
Wendy stepped in front of Ellen however. "Are you sure about this? I don't think they care about your status in Zaron, and no offense, but you're a bit too...meek."
But Ellen shook her head. "I still have to try. Wish me luck." Wendy simply rolled her eyes as Ellen stepped around Wendy towards where Ron sat. Her wolf stayed back with us though.
"This isn't gonna work," Wendy scoffed softly.
It was hard not for Ron to notice Ellen's approach as he sat facing our direction. He stopped writing, putting his pencil down and glared angrily at Ellen. "What in the bloody hells do you want?"
"I need to see your sister..." Ellen paused for a moment as she rubbed her chin. "Okay, that came out odd...but it's very important business. I'm a Hero of Zaron after all and-"
"Do you think I answer to you hillbillies? Do you?!" Ron had raised his voice now. "What makes you think I give a shit what you bloody dolts from South Park want?!"
"S-s-sorry..." Poor girl, Ellen is too shy and good to be yelled at like that.
"Get out of my sight!" Ron finished.
Ellen retreated back to us frowning, looking as if she almost wanted to cry. The rest of us cringed as we watched the interaction. "If I weren't still injured, I'd kick his ass right now." Can't blame Tyler for saying that, I most certainly have done the same if Ron treated Wendy like that.
Kathy patted Ellen's back. "You alright?" Ellen nodded slowly.
"There has to be a better way to get him to follow us," Kyle said.
We were all silent for a moment. But then Wendy spoke up. "I do have an idea...but you may not like it. Especially you, Stan." That got my full attention now.
"You're gonna do it, aren't you?" I have a feeling this is going to involve Wendy trying to allure Ron into getting him to show us where Ginny might be.
"You know it's the only way." Wendy softly grabbed both of my hands, and I could feel my cheeks burn. "Stan, you know the things I did to try to keep you. The shit I've done..."
"I know, I know." Shooting Ms. Ellen into the sun and betraying the girls during the gender war for me are probably the two biggest examples of her loyalty towards me. Even after I left her because I thought I was going to make lots of cash from a start-up company, she still accepted me back.
"Please Stan," Wendy pleaded as she let go of my hands. "Make this easy for me."
I nodded. "Alright. Do it."
Wendy's felhunter stayed behind. The girl herself moved over to Ron, and of course, Ron did take notice to Wendy's approach. "You..."
"Hardly polite treating a girl like that, yeah?" Wendy interjected. I wonder how she's going to try to allure Ron.
"Well, where-" Ron started to say.
But Wendy quickly interrupted Ron. "Are you frustrated towards girls? Did someone steal your first kiss?"
Now I couldn't see what facial expressions Wendy was making, as I could only see the back of her head. But Ron went pale almost immediately, stammering. "N-n-no!"
Wendy shifted her face slightly left. "What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" Ron tried to find the right words, but all he babbled out was perhaps burp noises. Wendy sat down across from Ron. Ron's hands were still on the desk so Wendy held them. I could see Ron's cheeks redden into a blush. "Just admit you wanna hang out with me." And of course, Ron began to nod like an idiot. "You know why I'm here, yeah?"
"Damn, she's better at this than I am," Bebe whispered to the rest of our party with mock jealousy.
"Y-you wanna see my sister?" Ron stammered softly and shyly.
"Lead us to her, and I'll give you a kiss," Wendy replied. Of course, I think we all know Wendy is certainly lying here.
Ron stood up eagerly. "A-alright. T-this way!"
Wendy held Ron's left hand with her right hand. But as she passed by me, she looked over to me, smiled, and winked at me. I couldn't help but grin. I knew Wendy was planning something. As we exited the library, I looked back at Ms. Ellen first, whose lips thinned, as if embarrassed by watching the entire interaction. As we passed by Hermione, who was now conscious but still on the ground, Wendy looked over at Hermione and stuck her tongue out at her while still holding Ron's hand. Hermione clenched her teeth, clearly furious, but too injured to try to stand up and try something funny against us. I then looked at Tyler, who was no longer being healed. He was walking finely once more. At least he's doing alright now.
"This is...weird, watching this," Kathy said. She looked over at Chris. "What do you think of all this?"
"I don't even know what to say," Chris replied.
We ended up going downstairs first. Then we stopped at a corner that would make a ninety degree turn towards the left, and Ron stopped in front of the turn. "She likes to hang out around the corner in front of the music room. She actually has a note...of people who can help you guys. Don't know if she's willing to sell it though."
"What people?" Wendy asked.
"They're called the N.W.A. That's all I know." That's weird. They aren't referring to the old rap group, are they? He then turned to Wendy, but looked slightly away, still blushing. "Y-y-you d-did say we'd...you know...kiss."
Wendy let go of Ron's hand as the rest of our party caught up to them. "Close your eyes and pucker up," she said sweetly. Ron did as told. But then Wendy walked and stopped in front of Chris. She reached her right hand to seemingly touch Chris's left hip, but instead, her hand found its way onto one of Chris's daggers.
Chris instinctively grappled Wendy's hand to prevent her from taking the dagger and scowled at her. "What are you doing?" Honestly, I don't even know how to react to Wendy trying to steal Chris's dagger with Chris completely noticing her - this is something I'd never expect out of her.
"May I?" Wendy smiled at Chris.
Chris loosened his grip on Wendy's hand. "...don't cut yourself."
Wendy proceeded to unsheathe Chris's dagger. Ron's eyes were still closed as his lips were still puckered up. Holding Chris's dagger with her right hand, Wendy raised the dagger up then suddenly bonked Ron in the forehead with the hilt end of Chris's dagger.
"Ow!" Ron immediately staggered back. "What the-"
But Wendy didn't relent. With her free left hand, Wendy grabbed Ron's head then smashed his face into a nearby locker. "That's for being a dick to Ellen." Ron fell to the ground, groaning in pain. Wendy continued once more by kicking Ron in the head with her right foot. "That's for being a creep to me." She then stomped on Ron's ribs with her left foot. "And that's for giving me so much shit last time I was here." Needless to say, Ron was completely left bruised and unconscious. She then turned to Chris, sheathing Chris's dagger for him on his left hip. "Thanks for sharing, Chris." Wendy finished off with a wink.
"Dude..." I said.
"What." Kyle added.
"The." Chris added.
"Actual." Tyler added.
"Fuck." Bebe added.
"Is." Kathy added.
"This?" Ellen finished.
"That's why you guys gotta be careful of pretty girls. Especially you boys." Of course, Wendy directed her full attention at us boys of the party.
"You, Wendy, are so fucking weird." Honestly, I gotta agree with Tyler on this one.
"...pretty much, yeah," Kyle added.
"You know it's true," Wendy smiled.
"Maybe we should get back to what we need to do." Thankfully, Ellen was the one this time to steer us back in the direction. "You were amazing there though, Wendy."
"It's all projecting yourself and having confidence and good self-esteem," Wendy replied. "If I didn't have any of those, I'd never make head cheerleader."
"Back on track, guys!" Kathy said.
"Ron did say Ginny has some note or something," Bebe said. "I guess it's my try."
"You know, Bebe," Chris started. "If you don't succeed..."
"We'll see," Bebe responded. "Here we go." Bebe rounded the corner, making her way towards Ginny Weasley. Ginny was just chatting to another girl, but that girl left immediately before Bebe's arrival. "Hey. Ginny Weasley, right?"
"Yeah, what's it to you?" Ginny was much less aggressive than her brother. But she frowned, still likely not happy to see us.
"I heard you have some note of people who can help us. Something called the N.W.A." Bebe smiled to try to lighten the mood.
But Ginny wouldn't have it, blowing a raspberry at Bebe. "That's not for you to know or see. Go away."
"What if I pay you?" Bebe tried.
"I doubt you even have the money worth enough for the note I have in my back pocket." What an idiot, telling potential thieves where the note might be.
Bebe sighed. "Fine." She retreated back to us. "Well Chris, looks like you're up."
"You got this, Chris," Tyler said.
Chris grinned as he made a slight fistbump with his right arm. "Hehe...time to steal the show."
Chris immediately faded from sight, casting Stealth. Ginny Weasley meanwhile was now chatting with a boy. Chris's stealth isn't perfect invisibility, so I could see lines of his physical form bend light around him. His shimmer moved towards behind Ginny. Ginny's robes shuffled slightly, but fortunately, Ginny didn't take notice. Chris's shimmers moved back towards us, but then went past us a bit.
"Where's Chris going?" Kyle asked.
"I don't know - follow him," I replied.
We only moved a few feet back to where we came from, making sure Ginny was out of sight. Chris materialized next to Kathy, his full form revealed. "Wanted to make sure we were far enough away." He looked the same as before, except this time he was indeed holding the note in his right hand and on his left hand a blue raspberry lolipop wrapped up. "Ha...hope she doesn't miss these." He handed the lolipop over to Kathy. "For you."
"Aw, thanks!" Kathy hugged Chris briefly before taking the lolipop. She took the wrapping off and started sucking on it.
"Did you steal that lolipop from Ginny?" Bebe asked.
"Maybe I have, maybe I haven't." Chris then handed the note to me. "And this one is for you, Stan."
"Thanks." I took the note and unfolded it before reading. There were only a few words on there so I read them out loud as the other shuffled next to me. "2401 7th Avenue, North Park, Co. Phone number for use is: 1000101100101010110001101101011011110."
"This...is obviously not a phone number," Kyle said.
"Yeah, actually looks like binary code," Chris added.
"Binary code?" Ellen asked.
"It's what computers read," Chris replied. "It's a computer science thing."
"Even weirder: why would Ginny be carrying this thing around anyways?" Bebe asked.
But before anyone could say anything else, the school intercom rang through the speakers. It was an old, male voice, likely one in at least his fifties. "ATTENTION: MAY I HAVE KYLE BROFLOVSKI, KATHY FREEMAN, TYLER HOFFMAN, CHRISTOPHER HOWARD, ELLEN JOSEPH, STANLEY MARSH, BEBE STEVENS, AND WENDY TESTABURGER TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE?! I REPEAT: KYLE BROFLOVSKI, KATHY FREEMAN, TYLER HOFFMAN, CHRISTOPHER HOWARD, ELLEN JOSEPH, STANLEY MARSH, BEBE STEVENS, AND WENDY TESTABURGER TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!"
We all groaned and sighed. "Here we go..." I said.
The eight of us stormed into the principal's office, and there sat an old man with a beard. He wore a black suit and tie. He was slightly on the heavy side, but for an old man he was still alright. The nameplate on his desk showed "Albus Dumbledore".
"Sit," Principal Dumbledore said. There were eight chairs facing Dumbledore. This office was exactly like Principal Victoria's in which the right wall had a window. We all sat down, from left to right in this order: myself, Wendy, Kyle, Bebe, Chris, Kathy, Tyler, and Ellen. "Welcome back, Stanley and Wendy. The other six are friends of yours, I presume?" Wendy and I both nodded. I'm not sure how to feel about this. This could be either very good or very bad. Surely, Dumbledore was on our side last time, but we did kinda come here against the law once more. I'm not sure he'll cut us the same slack the second time.
"We're in trouble, I take it?" Kyle asked.
"Not exactly...well, we are in trouble, and when I say 'we', I absolutely mean all nine of us here." These were very odd words coming from Principal Dumbledore himself. "Your friend Dovahkiin is in danger. I can sense it."
"Yeah, Eric Cartman must've kidnapped him," Bebe stated.
The principal's attention was on Bebe now. "Pardon me, Bebe, did you just say, 'Eric Cartman'?" When Bebe nodded, Principal Dumbledore stood up from his desk and turned his back to us to stare out the window. "Yes, I've seen him come through here today. And he was with Dovahkiin indeed. Unfortunately, I do not know anything more on the matter."
"You know Eric Carmtan though?" Kyle asked.
"I suppose the better question is: who doesn't know Eric Cartman?" Principal Dumbledore continued to stare out the window. "I think if anything, the Holocaust he attempted draws the line. He may have crossed it before that, but taking The Passion of Christ too far...yes, definitely."
"So...if you can't help us," Tyler started, "who can?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Principal Dumbledore retorted as he turned back to us. "The answer is right on the note you should have."
"What?!" I quickly opened the note that Chris stole from Ginny. I scanned the words again before looking up at Principal Dumbledore. "You...you! You were the one who set us up, weren't you?! You wanted us to get this note!"
"You must have planted the note inside Ginny's pocket explicitly for Chris to steal from," Wendy added.
Chris scoffed as he glared at Wendy. "Don't throw me under the bus now, Mrs. 'I use my good looks and charm to smash others into the lockers'."
"How would you even know to do this and why?" Kyle asked Principal Dumbledore.
"I also instructed Ginny to guard it with her life, but did not tell her exactly why. Because I want to see you all succeed and see you kids use teamwork to overcome challenges. Because I know about the truth of the Stick of Truth."
"Like the book Stan has?" Kathy was crunching on her lolipop. When she took the lolipop stick out, the candy was no more, so she threw it in the trash can. Oh shit, I forgot I had that book with me the whole time. I never bothered needing to use it though.
"Yeah, we haven't really been using that thing at all," Tyler admitted. "It was more-or-less useless now."
"You may be right at this point in time, but it doesn't matter anymore." Principal Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively as he sat back down. "You know, I may have told you this, Stanley and Wendy...actually I may not have told you this at all, but it bears repeating regardless: I have said several times in the past that help is there for those who ask for it."
"You...actually never told us that." Wendy is right, he really didn't.
"It's like you said in the movies!" Bebe briefly exclaimed before frowning. "Oh, I forgot...you aren't necessarily you in the movies. Sorry."
"Yeah, I get that confused too, dude," Kyle added.
"What were you going to say?" Ellen likely wanted to be polite, allowing Principal Dumbledore to continue.
Principal Dumbledore smiled. "I would like to officially retract that statement and instead tell you eight this: help will always be there for those who deserve it."
"You really think we're worthy?" I'm in the same boat as Kyle here. I'm not sure if we're worth all the trouble.
"Yes indeed," Principal Dumbledore replied. "I trust you eight know what needs to be done and can do so in a timely manner, yes?" We all nodded silently. "Remember my words, for you eight will never be alone."
"I appreciate it," Wendy replied.
"There is one more thing before you go," Principal Dumbledore added. "If you're looking into new anime, I suggest Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba. I promise you, you won't regret it."
"Right..." I looked over at the others, whose paled in embarrassment. "I don't think any of us watch anime though, sorry."
"It's quite alright." Principal Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Well, I suppose I'll leave you children to your work? You eight are excused from school immediately. It's still lunch time, so I doubt anyone will give you grief. Regardless, I wish you all good luck on your journeys."
"Bye!" We all exclaimed. We all departed, and I folded up the note and put it back in my right pants pocket. At least it was good that Principal Dumbledore was happy to see us again. What was even better is that based on his words, he might actually help us later on down the line. We'll see. For now, things are looking ever so hopeful, which is rare coming from myself, given I'm usually the cynical one.
After leaving the principal's office, we began walking towards the front of the school. As we walked, most of the children were departing from the cafeteria. Despite our clothes, this was the best chance we had at blending in with the crowd so that we could ditch school easily. Hopefully, things go effortlessly.
"Principal Dumbledore, huh?" Chris said.
"We are living in Harry Potter land it seems," Kathy replied. "Hope it's temporary."
"I guess Dumbledore is cool with us now." Chris sounded like he did not buy it completely, given his scoff.
"I know it can be hard to trust others about this, but I'm certain that he'll help us," Kathy replied.
As we continued to walk, Chris and Kathy continued to go at it. "Let me ask you this, Kathy: would you absolutely trust him with your life? Even if he were to betray us down the line?" Okay, I think Chris might be far-reaching here. I highly doubt Principal Dumbledore will betray us here, it doesn't seem logical at all.
"I still would because I truly believe he's a good person deep down, so even if he were to betray, he might not have a choice," Kathy retorted.
"And yet you still choose to believe in others - I admire that, really." Chris sounded much more sincere now.
"You would have to care about the rest of us too since you're here in the first place," Kathy said.
Chris raised his right index finger, but then put it down. "...yeah. I guess I do. You know I never really had many friends before fourth grade. In fact, out of everyone here, only Tyler was here for me." Tyler raised his right hand and nodded, as if verifying Chris's statement.
"I've been hurt too by betrayals. But, I suppose it's the South Park experience after all." Kathy sighed. "If it's not celebrities backstabbing us for fame and money, it's our peers backstabbing us for fame and money."
"Such is life, I suppose," Chris groaned.
"Life in South Park could be better, I think we can both agree on that." Kathy held Chris's right hand now with her left hand. "But in every cloud of darkness, there's always a silver lining. There's people who care for us. The others who are listening in to us talk, for example. But only those betrayed will know true friendship. We know the harshness if it all, so I hope we both can cherish it."
"Well...when you put it that way..." Chris let go of of Kathy hand and put his own into his pockets. "You're right. And I'm scared of what's to come. This is Eric Cartman we're dealing with - the same dude who killed Scott Tenorman's parents and turned them into chili. The same dude who tried to exterminate all the Jews. The same dude who went on a mass murdering spree with Cthulhu in tow. Who knows what he's planning with Douchebag? But even worse - what's the rest of us gonna think if I fail in what I do? That I'm a shit rogue who can't stab things right?"
"If you fail?" Kathy sighed again. "Is this why you look so sad and lonely all the time, despite surrounding yourself with the popular kids? You're afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of others?
It was weird to see Chris and Kathy acting like they do currently. I rarely see Chris being this vulnerable and talkative, just as rarely as seeing Kathy this soft and grounded. "...yeah. I'm just worried that I wouldn't be able to pull my weight, and that people would blame me for sucking. I don't need more reasons for people to give me shit - like how everyone was to me yesterday when I failed to pickpocket that girl in Middle Park." While I wasn't the only one giving Chris shit over that, it still hit me in the heart.
Kathy frowned even deeper. "You can't always be a perfectionist at everything, but I think you're amazing at what you do, and even the best can make mistakes sometimes. But you do need to learn to open up to us." This was sort of the problem I had with Cole back a month ago. But I approached him too harshly and impatiently, and now I think Cole will always look at me with a bit of doubt. I don't know Chris well, but I won't make that same mistake again. "If you always hold it in all the time, eventually you won't be able to handle it anymore."
"You're right...but it's hard when you're around those who have a history of backstabbing others..." Chris groaned. "If that makes me insecure, then so be it, but I'd rather not take my chances."
"Do you feel the same about me?" Kathy asked. "Do you think I'd ever backstab you?"
"I..." Chris sighed. "I know when Nelly backstabbed you when she found out we were seeing each other in secret. And I just know we weren't close friends with each other before, and you know...it's not like Tyler, or Irving, or Preston back at home always being supportive...when you're around people you don't know, things can be different...you don't always know how supportive others can be, or if they're genuine, or if they won't judge you at all."
"I...kinda get it," Kathy nodded. "You know us girls have gossiped behind each others' backs. I did contribute to the mess with the girls being petty in our school after all. We might talk a lot about boys causing troubles, but we've done our fair share of damages. We make hurtful lists of others, we've sabotaged relationships we don't approve of, forced girls to step in line, boys we didn't like we'd call creeps so that-"
"Just spare me the details," Chris muttered.
"Right," Kathy nodded. "I just wanted to be popular...but if this is what we end up doing, maybe us girls don't deserve the boys' trust. Maybe every one of us deep down is like Cartman." I frowned even deeper at that. As much as I try to be unlike Cartman, I have my days where I certainly falter harder than I should. "Maybe...it is best you never leave yourself vulnerable. Maybe you're right all along. Hell, given that Douchebag is probably betraying us right now...that speaks volumes, doesn't it?"
I never thought I'd realize that Chris was more cynical than myself, nor did I ever thought Kathy had a darker side to her usual cheerfulness and energy. It made me realize how little I know of other people. In fact, I don't even know Wendy that well either - the only person here I know very well is Kyle. But then then. Kyle and I had more falling outs recently. We fought during the Ad crisis, and we fought when Kyle wanted to cancel Terrance and Phillip. There was also the part of Douchebag betraying us. Maybe he has good intentions or at least a good excuse. But I'm eager to find out nonetheless.
There was a deafening silence. But then Chris spoke up. "No. This is not who you are. You don't need to be like this. Kathy, I just want to say one thing." Chris took both hands out of his pockets to hold both of Kathy's hands.
"What is it?" Kathy asked.
"The road ahead of us is gonna be tough, I can feel it," Chris said. "But I just want to say...if there's one person I have faith in to help guide all of us, it's you." Chris's face formed a rare, soft, and shy smile. A smile that wasn't sarcastic or conniving, but rather genuine and sweet.
"That...means a lot to me." Kathy smiled back. "And you know that I can always count on you, even if others might not all the time."
"Just promise me one thing," Chris said. "Don't you ever get depressed on me, will ya? You're too good for that."
Kathy nodded in agreement. "Yeah. And I understand if you like to be reserved. Unlike some people, I'm perfectly fine with you remaining in your comfort zone. I've hurt others before in the past, but I just want you to know that I will never do anything to hurt you. Ever."
"I...appreciate it." Chris smiled even wider now.
As we continued to walk, Wendy sped up until she was next to me to my right shoulder. "It's really cute seeing those two. I think they're good for each other."
"Yeah." It was nice to see Kathy bringing out life from Chris and seeing Chris keeping Kathy grounded down to earth. Despite what both may think, I honestly believe both have a bright future ahead of them.
We finally reached the front door of the school, but we were still inside. I went over to the right door and put both hands on the door bars. "Alright, you guys ready?" When all of them and the pets nodded, I nodded back. "Alright." I used my entire body to push open and hold the door. "Let's do this."
Our party exited the building. I was last to leave. I walked backwards out the door and I ended up bypassing the others anyways. However, I only went two feet before realizing that everyone else had stopped in place. The rest of my party's faces paled and their eyes were widened. Their faces were loose and their mouths hung open, as if stuck in shock. Wendy's felhunter and Ellen's wolf were both growling in my direction, but they weren't growling at me per se. "You look like you all seen a ghost."
"S-Stan...t-turn around," Kyle stammered.
"We're totally fucked," Wendy groaned.
"Yeah..." Bebe added.
I did as told and at that exact moment, my heart rate shot up through the roof, and my gut dropped severely. Most of the fourth graders from North Park elementary encircled us, but from about fifty feet back, giving us plenty of space. They stared at us with blank expressions, rather neutrally gazing upon us. They were neither happy nor sad to see us, but it wasn't those people who bothered me. What did throw me off were the three people who stood within the fray of it all, fire in their eyes, and teeth gritting. To the left was Hermione was cut up and burned severely from Tyler's assault, though she was standing now. To the right was Ron was also standing, though his lips and nose were bloodied. Harry was front and center in the middle, untouched. He then let loose what could be perhaps his battle cry.
"I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!"
This chapter now cements all eight path actions from Octopath Traveler being utilized. On that note, yes, just like the prequel fic, Harry Potter kids are here again for a bit. What happens next? Stay tuned.
