James was running after Lily. They were in their final year and Lily had been flirting with him for weeks now. The reason why he was running after he was because she had ruffled his hair the wrong way and as a rule he did not allow anyone to touch his hair. "Lily! Wait!" James called, as Lily laughed and ran ahead, her red hair flying behind her. Ultimately, James caught up with her, he hooked his arm on her waist and spun her around, Lily laughed. "One minute!" James said as he tried to catch his breath. As soon as he had caught his breath, he took a step forward; pinning Lily between himself and the wall.
"What the hell, Evans." He said with a mischievous smile. "You know the punishment for touching my hair."
Lily smirked. "Really, you will hex me like you hexed Remus and Sirius?" She asked, trying to keep her expression innocent.
"Hmm…" James pretended to think. "No, I won't hex you." Lily grinned. "I will do something much worse." James said with a triumphant smile.
"What?" Lily asked; doubt clouding her eyes, "What will you do?"
"What fun would telling you about it be?" James asked with a smirk.
"Potter." Lily threatened, "You do something funny and I will- I will" She turned her head to the side for some inspiration, and James saw the opportunity and leaned in to kiss her cheek. Honestly, that had been his plan; he would only kiss her cheek. But she turned to face him at the exact moment, "I will mmmmmmm". James' eyes bulged as their lips connected. Her lips were soft and tasted like chocolate and oranges. He pulled back, and stared at her, horrified with what had happened. Lily however, gave him a piercing look, and they were much too close and James had been dreaming of this day since forever. He brought his lips to touch hers, waiting for her permission, he wasn't ready for Lily's reaction.
Lily wound her arms around his neck, pulling him to her and crashed her lips on his. Her body flushed against his, and James' mind exploded with sensations. He was aware of every touch, of her body against his. He kissed back greedily, Lily's hands found their way in his hair. Soon, much too soon, Lily broke kiss and leant back on the wall. James mirrored her move and leaned in his forehead to touch hers.
He kissed her again. "Damn it, Evans! Go out with me." He said, kissing her again. She ran her soft hand on his cheek, looking sad. James caught her hand and kissed her wrist. "Go out with me." He urged her again.
"I can't." Lily said sadly.
"Why not?"
"Because Harry needs you."
James frowned, Harry? And then he remembered, Harry, his son Harry. Lily's son Harry. Harry needed him. Harry needed Lily more, but she left them.
"Why, Lily? Why did you leave us?" James cried desperately, trying to hold on to a rapidly vaporising Lily.
"I had to James, I had to."
"Stay. Don't go." He pleaded with her, "Harry needs you. I need you. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't do this without you."
"You can James." Lily's voice echoed. "And you will. Have faith. I am waiting for you, when your time comes, we will go forward together." Lily said, rising in the air. "We will see each other again, James. Never doubt that."
"LILY!" James screamed. "LILY!"
James Potter woke up, with Lily's name on his lips. He was no more at Hogwarts, but in his home at the Potter Manor. He looked at the wall above the fireplace. Pictures from his childhood smiled and laughed at him. He put his head in his hands, as he sobbed for the loss of Lily. His Lily, the love of his young life; the beautiful young woman he had buried that morning.
Lily's funeral was a very small affair; Petunia had attended it but had left soon after the service. Harry had been beside himself, he kept trying to reach to her, calling for her again and again, as if hoping that she would wake up and give him a kiss like she usually did. Harry had screamed and screamed for his mother. He had clawed at Sirius' face to get to Lily, Remus and James had tried to take Harry away from Sirius' arms but he had stopped them, he let Harry hit him as tears ran down his own eyes.
After a while, Harry got tired of screaming for his mother. When James took him, he looked at James confusedly and asked, "Mama?" That broke James down, and Harry started crying again when he saw his father cry. Everyone left the father and son alone, apart from little Arianna, who ran to hug James' knees and cry with him and her little cousin.
Later on, after the service, James, Sirius, Alexandra, Remus, Arianna and Harry had returned to Potter Manor. Voldemort might have been gone, but there still was a bounty on James and Harry's heads. Any and everyone they knew were unsafe by association, thus, James had fought, argued and pleaded with each of them to come stay with him at Potter Manor.
After James could cry no more, he wiped his eyes and got out of bed to check on Harry's crib only to find it empty. James panicked, even when the reasonable part of his brain was telling him that everything was fine, someone else must have checked on Harry and that Harry was safe, he still ran out of his room to look for Harry.
His wand spun on his palm, pointing him towards the library. He ran towards it, he was about to burst open the door when he heard a tinkering laugh. Her laughter; James had always loved Lily's laughter, it was melodious and real. Lily could never fake a laugh; it was either a full out throw-your-head-back-and-laugh-openly or no laugh at all.
"He is doing a lot better, now that he has seen you." James heard Sirius say.
"He has grown so much. I remember him as a much smaller baby, maybe 3 months old." Lily said.
"Well, at least you remember your baby. I didn't even know I have one." Percy said. "I wish you had come sooner, Alex."
"I wish that too, now. But back then it was just difficult, I don't think I was ready to face you." Alex said.
James steeled himself, so a shadow of Lily and Percy were in the room with Sirius and Alex. He had been trying to avoid them ever since he moved to the Manor. James believed that he would go mad if he had to talk to the portraits of his parents, his aunt and uncle, Percy or Lily.
With as little noise as he could make, James opened the door and stepped in the library. But all his plans of being inconspicuous were spoiled when Harry screamed "Da!" from his spot on the carpet. Sirius and Alexandra turned to look at James, but someone else's eyes had already found James' eyes and were staring at him with a mix of unconditional love and pain. James stared transfixed into the eyes of this shadow Lily. Even in death, Lily's eyes seemed to pierce through him to reach his soul. He stared into those hypnotic eyes that belonged to Lily, his eyes roved over the perfection of her face in the portrait. He took a step forward and then another, hypnotised he walked right up to her and hesitantly put his hand forward to touch her painted cheek.
"James." Lily whispered.
His trance broke; he gave this shadow Lily a glare and stepped back. "Don't call me that." He snapped at her.
"But that's your name. What else am I supposed to call you?" She asked.
"Don't call me anything then. Don't talk to me. You are a lie. You are not Lily."
"But I am Lily, James. I am your Lily." She argued.
Sirius discreetly picked up Harry and handed him to Alex, who took it as a cue to walk out of the room.
"No. You are not Lily. My Lily is dead. DEAD." He screamed at her, upsetting a coffee table and breaking the tiny china cups decorated on it. "My Lily left me alone."
"That is not true." Lily cried. "That is not true; James Potter and you know it."
James shook his head and stared at her angrily, pacing in front of her portrait, only to realize that she was now joined by his parents, his aunt, uncle and Percy.
James glared at all of them. "None of you are real. None of you are the people I love." He shouted at the portraits, he threw another vase on the ground. "You- You- All of you left me alone. You are lies. You are here to torture me. Make fun of me as I try and fail at raising Harry. Go away. LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed, breaking several more things.
"Prongs." Sirius said stepping between James and portraits and holding him by the shoulders. "Come on. You are better than this. You know none of them left you willingly. You know they still love you."
"We do James. You can't imagine how sorry we are that you feel so alone." His father said earnestly.
James deflated and sagged in Sirius' arms, as Sirius hugged him. "What am I supposed to without you?" He asked between tears. "How am I supposed to give Harry a happy childhood, the one he deserves, with his family?"
"Hey, you are not alone mate." Sirius said soothingly, "We will be Harry's family. It will be alright. I promise."
"And if you allow us." His mother added hesitantly, "We would try and help out as much as we could. These children will never feel any lack of love."
James stared at his mother, tears streaming down his eyes, before walking towards the portrait. He touched the portrait lovingly and hung his head, "I am sorry. I know you didn't mean to leave any of us." He said. "Perce, Alexandra has been so brave through it all and Arianna is perfect."
"I know. I met her a while ago." Percy said with a smile. "You have two children to care for Jamie. We can only do so much for them from here. Be strong, it will be alright. We are here for you." James nodded allowing a small smile to his face.
He looked at Lily, before quickly looking away. "I know you are not what Lily was in flesh and blood, but in a way you are Lily. Can you please give me some time? I- I- I don't think I can face you this soon."
"Of course. Take as much time as you need. When you feel ready, I will be here waiting for you."
"Thank you." He said, looking her in the eye. Lily gasped when she saw how dead and defeated he looked.
"Oh James! What did you do?" Lily asked in a pained whisper as she stretched out her painted hand as if to touch his face.
"Buried myself with you." He whispered back. Lily said nothing as James stepped back, his eyes still trained on her, he went back to stand next to Sirius and looked at the shadows of the loved ones he had lost. He then, firmly turned his back on them and walked out of the library with Sirius in tow.
AN: So, here is another chapter. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for your lovely reviews and suggestions. I will try and see what I can do with all these suggestions. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the delay, I was traveling without internet and was not able to post chapters on time. But do read and review.
Happy Reading.
Much love,
The fishes
