July 1991
James checked the mail anxiously. He had been this jumpy since the start of July. He kept on hoping that Dumbledore would forget about Harry altogether. That the mail would get lost and Harry would never have to go to Hogwarts. He was not ready to have this talk with Harry.
"Is it here, yet?" Harry asked anxiously as he entered the study.
"Not yet champ." James replied with a shrug.
"It will turn up eventually." Harry said confidently. "Mum promised that it would be here soon."
"We can get some breakfast till then."
"Master Harry." Dopey squeaked apparating into the study. "This letter arrived for you right now."
One look at Harry's excited face and James' heart sank.
"Dad!" Harry shouted excitedly, jumping up and down, "It's here! Look! Look!"
A part of James remembered his excitement when his Hogwarts letter had arrived. But his primary sense was of worry. Harry had never stayed away from him for extended periods of time. He was so young and the world so big. Hogwarts would be safe, he was sure but his baby was growing up a bit too fast.
"Calm down, Monkey." James said forcing a laugh out of him.
"Can we please go over to Anna's? And Neville's? And Uncle Sirius and Remus? But where can we go first?" Harry prattled on speaking a mile a minute.
"The kitchen. Breakfast trumps everything."
"When can we go shopping?" Harry asked following him.
"Soon."
"How soon?"
"Harry."
"Dad."
"Soon. Let's call everyone for dinner tonight and celebrate. Okay?"
"Yeah. But I want to go to Padfoot's as soon as we finish breakfast."
"When do you plan to tell him?" Sirius asked, as they watched Harry talk animatedly with Neville and Frank.
"I don't know. I don't even want to tell him." James muttered.
"But you have to." Remus stated sadly, "How much are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know." James sighed, "He is too young. Too innocent, every small detail looks too much to burden a child with. He is only eleven. I can't do this."
"We will be there, Prongs." Sirius said. "Don't worry, you won't have to do this alone."
"Hey Longbottom!" Sirius called.
"What?" Frank asked.
"Not you, that little pixie over there."
"What?" Alice asked walking towards them.
"When do you plan to tell Neville?" Remus asked.
"Soon." Alice said biting her lip.
"How about we set a timeline?" Remus suggested. "I am sure Harry and Neville would like to talk to each other about it."
James and Alice nodded.
"So, we take the kids shopping this Saturday, right?" Sirius asked. "Let's do it by Friday night. It gives you three days to think it all over."
"Harry, can we talk to you for a moment?" James asked hesitantly.
Harry looked up from his book, puzzled at his father and uncles' grim expressions. He nodded, looking at them curiously.
"Harry," Remus started hesitantly. "Remember we said we would answer all your queries once you were older."
Harry nodded.
"Well!" Remus said, "Now is a good time, isn't it? You are all grown-"
"You are prattling, Moony." Sirius said. "What Uncle Remus means to say Harry is- Congratulations! You are old enough to know something. James if you would."
James gave Harry a guilty look. "Ask me to shut up if it gets too much. Okay?"
Harry nodded his innocent mind unable to comprehend why three of the bravest men in his life were so tensed.
"So." James started, "Some years ago, there was a wizard who went bad. Really bad. The worst really. He called himself Voldemort and he was the leader of these crazy nutters who believed that pure blood witches and wizards were better than everyone. That muggleborn witches and wizards were not as good and that muggles were not even human."
Harry stared at his father eyes wide. "You are kidding."
Sirius shook his head.
"But that's stupid." He said his brows knitting.
"It is what it is." Remus said. "Now, shall we continue with the story?"
Harry looked at the three of them, "You told this man that he was being silly. Didn't you?"
The three of them smiled.
"In a manner of speaking we did." James admitted. "But those were dark times Harry. People were being cursed to do things they didn't want to. We were at war. Of course, Sirius, Remus, Frank, Alice, a lot of our other friends, your mum and I- pretty much all of our family, we fought against this man. That's how they died."
Harry didn't say anything, just picked himself up and hugged his dad before settling in his lap.
James gave him a brief smile before continuing. "When you were little, we had to go into hiding because Voldemort was after us. We cast this charm called Fidelius, it is used to secure a place and it's location is kept with one person called secret keeper. You won't be able to find this place if the secret keeper himself doesn't tell you about it. Even then, if you are not the secret keeper, you can't bring anyone to the hidden place. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded.
"We had a friend named Peter Pettigrew and we thought he would be the least likely target and thus our best option as a secret keeper."
James gulped, trying to keep his tears away. Sirius squeezed James' shoulder.
"I was there when the charm was cast. Your mother did it. It was the 28th of October. On Halloween, Voldemort was at your door." Sirius said in a dead voice.
Harry looked at the three adults in distress. They had talked about the rat-man before; he knew that he was responsible for his mother's death. He knew all of this, but he had never heard them sound so pained. Sirius' eyes were dull, like someone had put out the light in them. Remus looked wistfully outside the window and his father had shut his eyes tight, tugging his hair slightly.
"I did not have my wand." James said after taking a breath, his voice dispassionate. "I had thrown it on the couch when Lily took you up for bed. That's when I heard him come. I ran, hoping to stop him but he sent the killing curse at me. I dodged and the wall behind me exploded. Lily must have tried to protect you but she didn't have her wand either. She had left it in the kitchen. She tried to protect you but he killed her- and he- and he- turned to kill you but-" James stopped abruptly. It had been ten years and he still felt guilty about not doing enough. About not giving Lily enough chance to run away with Harry.
Harry looked at his father, eyes wide. He wasn't sure he wanted to know anymore. He just wanted to hug his father and tell him that everything would be alright.
"He turned to kill you." James whispered, taking Harry's small hands in his. "He tried to kill you but he couldn't. His spell backfired. He was gone by the time Hagrid and Sirius arrived to rescue us out. However, that curse gave you that scar. They see you as the hero of our world"
"But- But- But-" Harry croaked, "You said- I fell. That Mum died-that you- you lied?"
"We had to Harry." James said. "We didn't want to put this on you too soon. Will you forgive us?"
Harry said nothing. His mind was reeling with this new information.
"Why was he hunting us?" He asked quietly.
James, Sirius and Remus exchanged looks.
"When will I be old enough to find that one out?" Harry complained.
"Soon." Remus said ruffling his hair. "I think you have had enough for tonight."
"Why didn't his spell work on me?" Harry asked quickly.
"Your mother died to protect you." James replied, "She invoked an ancient blood magic. In death she became your shield."
Harry nodded. "I am sorry, Dad." He whispered his voice cracking.
"Why are you apologising, buddy?"
Harry looked at him. "She died because of me." He whispered.
In an instant Harry was covered by the three men in a comforting embrace.
"It's not your fault, Harry." James said softly, wiping his tears away. "He was a mad man. And we are your parents, we are supposed to do everything to keep you safe."
Harry said nothing, just snuggled into his father, reaching out for Remus and Sirius, who took his hands immediately.
"Is he really gone?" He asked.
"We don't think so." Remus answered, shrugging as James and Sirius gave him reproachful looks. "He is out there, waiting to come back but that's not your worry. If and when he comes back, we will be there to fight him."
Harry nodded.
"Now, Harry we didn't tell you everything to scare you." James said.
"I am not scared." He replied a little too quickly. James grinned.
"You are a terrible liar, Monkey."
Harry stuck his tongue out at his father.
"It's okay to be scared, Bambi." Sirius said with a laugh, ruffling his hair. "It's not okay to give in to your fears and stop living."
"That's the smartest thing you have ever said." Remus quipped.
"Too deep for you." James agreed.
Sirius stuck his tongue out at his two friends, making Harry laugh.
"I think we lost track of what we were saying." Sirius reminded them.
"Ah yes." James said, "So, Harry the thing is you are bloody famous. Ow! Moony!"
Remus had smacked James upside in the head. "Language, Potter."
"Right, right. Sorry Harry, don't ever repeat that word. Okay?" James said hastily, "Anyway, as I was saying, you are famous for making Voldemort disappear. People see you as a Hero. You are a-"
"But I didn't do anything." Harry protested. "I don't even remember anything."
"That doesn't really matter to people." Remus said patting his shoulder sympathetically.
"We have tried to protect you from this madness." James continued, "But now you are going to Hogwarts and you will be on your own. A lot of people would want to be your friend just because you are famous. Use your head. You are as smart as your mother when it comes to people. Use that intuition. Okay?"
Harry nodded, his face a mask concentration as he took in every word James said.
"And don't let the hero worship get to your head." Remus warned. "We don't want you to be a prat about it when you come back. I don't care if the world worships the earth you walk on, you will always be the baby that peed on Sirius as far as I am concerned." He finished with a smirk as Sirius groaned and Harry blushed, grinning embarrassedly.
"Don't worry." Sirius said, "You will be fine. These two nutters are just worriers. You have a good head on your shoulders. Thank God you took after me and not your father."
"Oi!" James protested. But his protest was drowned in Harry's giggles. "Bed time for you, you cheeky little traitorous monkey." He muttered, narrowing his eyes, fighting his grin.
Harry grinned at him, his green eyes bright. Sometimes Harry reminded him so much of Lily. She loved taking the mickey out of him. Harry was more like her than James cared to admit. He was bright and inquisitive, he scrunched his nose like she did when she was concentrating on getting something right, and he had an in-built radar to find the best in people. He had a heart of pure gold and sometimes James worried that maybe his son was a bit too good for the world. But then he reasoned that probably every parent felt the same way about their children.
He watched Harry hug Remus and Sirius goodnight before giving him a hug and skipping off to his room.
"He took it better than I had hoped for." Remus commented mildly.
"Sometimes that kid acts more mature than half the adults I know." Sirius said thoughtfully.
"On all such occasions, I am reminded of how much he is like Lily." James said his eyes on the portrait of his dead, who smiled at him.
"Did your parents tell you?" Nevilled asked as he settled next Harry on the grass.
"You guys know?" Arianna asked, relief colouring her features.
"You knew?" Neville accused.
"Since first year." She admitted, "I have been dying to be able to talk about it."
"You could have clued us in." Neville grumbled.
"They made me swear." She said shaking her head.
"Can we please not talk about it?" Harry muttered, looking at the clouds.
"Don't worry. He won't come back." Neville said quickly.
"Its not that." Harry said with a sigh. "My mum died because of me. It-"
"It was not your fault, squirt." Arianna said ruffling his hair. "No one but Voldemort is responsible for all of it."
"But she died to save me." Harry said.
"Harry, my parents hid me in a closet and placed a silencing charm on it so that the Death Eaters don't find me." Neville said. "Had help not arrived, they would have lost their minds completely. They did everything to protect me. But whenever I try apologizing to mum about it, she threatens to hex me."
Harry cracked a smile.
"That's better than, 'I didn't live through a war worrying about you, for you to grow up to be this thankless.'" Arianna muttered.
"She didn't!" Harry exclaimed.
"She did." Arianna said, "It was my fault though. I threw a tantrum about her not letting me stay at my friend's place for the summer. Uncle James talked to me- reminded me how lonely mum gets without me. I feel like a jerk sometimes."
"Remus says it's a Potter thing." Harry informed her. "Apparently, all of us are jerks till someone knocks some sense into us. He has been eating my ear about it."
"Thank Morgana, for Gran." Neville said. "She makes sure I get a break."
"If you guys are done complaining about your parents." Frank said towering over them, "I think we are good to go."
"There you are." Sirius said as soon the children filtered into the room, "We were wondering where you guys had gone off to."
"They were busy doing what we did at their age." Frank said, ruffling Neville's hair.
"We did quite a lot of things at their age." James pointed out, "With Grandfather cheering us on."
Frank laughed. "No, they were just complaining about how unreasonable their parents are."
"I wish your children are nightmares." James muttered, "Worse than what Sirius and I were combined."
"Uncle James." Arianna groaned.
"I am with James. I hope you get as many owls as I do about your prank wars with the Weasley twins." Alexandra said sticking her tongue out at her daughter.
"Its not my fault." Arianna defended. "They started it. I had to defend the Marauder's honour and pride."
"Can't blame her there." Sirius muttered.
"Yeah. You go get them." James said proudly, "Write to me for help."
"This entire family is full of children." Alexandra muttered.
"But you love us." Alice said with a grin. "Now, James, Sirius, Remus, Frank and I are taking you kids for your shopping trip. Alexandra has to go to Mungo's for some emergency. Here are the rules: You will not wander on your own. At all times you will be with one of us. If by some chance you do get lost, you will go to the Dragon Fire and ask them to get one of us. Are we clear?"
The children nodded.
"And no funny business." Alice added, hands on her hips.
The three of them groaned, throwing their hands in air.
"Right." Remus said. "Here is the floo sequence. Sirius, Arianna, Me, Harry and James, Neville and Alice, followed by Frank in the end. Aim for the Leaky Cauldron."
Harry had not really visited the Leaky Cauldron much, in fact throughout his young life; he didn't have much reason to visit the place. It was a dark and dingy pub which was crowded today.
"Sirius Black!" Someone shouted as soon as Neville and Alice stepped out of the fire place.
"Hagrid!" Sirius exclaimed with a broad smile, letting the giant man give him a bone crushing hug.
"What brings you here?" He asked wincing slightly.
"Hogwarts business." He said patting his pocket with pride. "Top secret. Dumbledore has trusted me with it."
"What abou' yeh lot?" He asked, looking at the large group.
"Hogwarts shopping." James said airily.
"Ah righ! Y'ung 'Arry an' Neville start Hogwarts this year!" Hagrid announced proudly before any of them could stop him.
Everyone's eyes swivelled to where the group was. James and Remus covered their faces in exasperation. They loved Hagrid but his enthusiasm was something they could do without.
"Good Lord." The barman said, coming forward slowly, "Is this-"
"Bless my soul!" He whispered grasping Harry's hand with tears in his eyes. "Harry Potter… What an honour!"
Suddenly Harry was swamped by people.
"Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. Can't believe I am meeting you at last."
"The name is Diggle, Mr. Potter. Dedalus Diggle."
"Diggle, stop!" Remus hissed. "Let's go before it gets worse." He said grabbing Harry's hand and pulling him away.
Hagrid followed apologising profusely for his slip. Sirius consoled him while James and Frank walked around eyes alert.
"Professor Quirrell! What are yeh doin' here?" Hagrid asked suddenly. The pale young man in front of them, paled even more. His eye twitched nervously.
"Kids," Hagrid said. "Professor Quirrell would be one of your Professors at Hogwarts this year."
"P-P-Potter," the man stammered grasping Harry's hand, "c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you."
"What sort of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?" Harry asked politely, as James tutted under his breath.
"D-Defence Against the D-D-Dark Arts," muttered Professor Quirrell as though he would rather not think about it. "N- not that you n-need it, eh, P- P-Potter?" He laughed nervously.
"It was really nice to meet you, Professor." James cut- in, "But we really should get going."
Quirrell looked absolutely terrified of James and just nodded jerkily.
"Merlin's Beard!" Sirius muttered under his breath, "It looks like one good scare would do him in."
James grinned and Remus frowned as he tapped on the bricks.
"Hagrid." Remus asked anxiously, "Is Dumbledore sure that Quirrell is the best candidate for the subject? He looks twitchy."
Hagrid sighed, "It's getting' hard'r to get someon'." He said, "Dumbledore doesn' have options. Quirrell has a brilliant mind. He was fine while he was studyin' outta books but then he took a year off ter get some first-hand experience… They say he met vampires in the Black Forest and there was a nasty bit o' trouble with a hag- never been the same since. Scared of the students, scared of his own subject- here we are. I gotta go to Gringotts, will see you later."
"Kids these days are just too cushioned. Scared of a vampire and a hag." Frank said shaking his head in disbelief.
"Why did you have to say that?" Alice whined as Sirius nodded in agreement. "It makes me feel old."
"Enough." James said, his voice on edge, his grip on Harry's hand was almost painful. "Let's split up. Harry and Neville, you will be coming with Frank, Remus and me. Alice take Arianna, Sirius will go with you."
"James." Alice said soothingly, "Relax a little. Nothing will happen and loosen your grip on Harry's hand; you are cutting off his blood circulation."
James let off Harry's hand; who immediately started nursing it. "Sorry, buddy." He muttered apologetically. Harry nodded, taking his hand again. "Just relax, Dad."
"I just don't like the way people mob you." James said walking towards Madam Malkin's.
"Yeah! I am not a big fan of it either." Harry replied with a smirk.
"Harry, Neville." Frank said, "Why don't you step in and get your robes measured? Remus and I will go get your cauldrons and potions kits. James will stay with you. Meet us at Flourish and Blotts once you are done."
"Ah!" A woman exclaimed smiling brightly, "If it isn't the notorious James Potter. I still haven't been able to get rid of those marks in the back."
James grinned abashedly as Harry and Neville looked at him curiously.
"Hogwarts crowd?" She asked pointing at Harry and Neville, who nodded.
"Another young man is getting his fitting done. Go right in, all the way to the back. I will be right there with you."
Harry and Neville made it to the back of the shop where another boy with a pale pointed face was getting fitted into his robes with the help of another witch. Harry stood between the pale boy and Neville.
"Hullo!"said the boy, "Hogwarts too?"
"Yes," said Harry.
"My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands," said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice. "Then I am going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first years can't have their own. I think I will bully father into buying me one and smuggle it in somehow."
Harry and Neville exchanged mischievous smirks as the boy prattled on about brooms and how it's a crime to not be on the house Quidditch team. Even though the boy was acting like a total snob, Harry agreed with him. Weren't his father and Sirius complaining about losing out on Quidditch in their first year.
"Which house do you think would you go to?" The boy asked, looking intently at Harry and Neville.
"Err…" Neville started.
"My entire family has been in Slytherin." He said suddenly, as Harry and Neville exchanged glances. "Imagine being sorted into Hufflepuff, I would leave."
Harry remembered the story about how Sirius and James had met for the first time and how Sirius also believed that Hufflepuffs were human sized marshmallows. He had even threatened to disown all of them had they joined Hufflepuff.
"I say, look at that man!" Said the boy suddenly, nodding towards the front window. Hagrid was standing there, talking animatedly to James.
"That's Hagrid," Neville said happily. "He works at Hogwarts."
"Oh," said the boy, "I have heard of him. He is a sort of servant, isn't he?"
"He is the gamekeeper," said Harry. Neville and he exchanged a glance, deciding amongst themselves that they liked the boy less and less with every passing second.
"Yes, exactly. I heard he is a sort of savage- lives in a hut in the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic and ends up setting fire to his bed."
"That's not true!" Neville said at the same time as Harry said, "I think he is brilliant."
"Do you?" He said with a slight sneer. "Why? Is he with you? Where are your parents?"
"That's my dad, he is talking to." Harry pointed out. "Everyone else is out getting something or the other."
"Oh! You are our kind then?" The boy asked.
Harry and Neville exchanged a look before looking at the boy, unified in their dislike for the boy but he looked impervious to their dislike.
"They shouldn't let the other kind in at all." The boy drawled, "They are not brought up the way we are. Some of them haven't even heard of Hogwarts until they get their letters, imagine. I think they should keep it in the old wizarding families. What are your surnames, anyway?"
Before Harry or Neville could answer the witch told the boy that he was done.
"What a prat." Nevilled muttered as they made their way to the front of the shop.
"Tell me about it." Harry replied darkly.
They however forgot all about their irritation when they saw James waiting outside with two large ice-creams. They licked their ice-creams happily as they strolled down to the book shop. Frank and Remus had already bought everything else which left them with wand shopping. Frank sent a quick patronus to Alice, asking them to join them at Ollivander's.
Sirius and Arianna were carrying two large cages and grinning from ear to ear as they arrived outside the wand maker's shop to meet with the rest of them. Sirius handed a cage with a snowy white owl to Harry, while Arianna handed the cage with an eagle owl to Neville. To say the first- years were excited was an understatement.
Mr. Ollivander had creeped Harry out the first time they had stepped in to buy Arianna's wand. He looked at Neville and him with mild interest as he prattled on about the wands and wand cores of everyone present in the shop.
Neville took four tries to find an ashwood, 13 inches wand with unicorn hair and was mighty pleased with it. Harry felt his face get hotter and hotter as the pile of wands got higher for him. Ollivander on the other hand was just delighted to have such a "tricky customer".
"Unusual combination- holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple. Go ahead try it." He said.
Sirius cheered as Harry finally found his wand but no one missed the constant mutterings of "curious" from Mr. Ollivander as he packed Harry's wand.
"Excuse me." Harry said timidly, "But what exactly is curious?"
Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with a pale stare.
"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather- just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother- why, its brother gave you that scar."
Harry swallowed, he knew from the stillness in the air that everyone else was reeling with this information too.
"Yes, thirteen and a half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember… I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter. After all, He Who Must Not Be Named did great things- terrible, yes, but great."
Harry shivered as James placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you Mr. Ollivander." He said tightly, before steering Harry out of the shop. No one spoke as they walked back to the Leaky Cauldron. Alice, Frank and Neville bid their farewell and returned home. Harry and Arianna followed James and Remus to the family sitting room of the Potter Manor.
"Well, damn!" Arianna said finally, pulling them all out of their thoughts.
Harry looked at her trying to fight off a smile, but she grinned at him and suddenly the two were laughing hysterically.
Sirius grinned and joined the two on the floor. Remus patted James' shoulder comfortingly. But James' eyes never left Harry's laughing face. All of this was happening too soon.
"What do you plan to do now?" Alexandra asked James after Harry and Arianna were sent to bed.
"Talk to Dumbledore." James said rubbing his eyes.
"You are worrying too much." Sirius said unconvincingly.
"Do you- do you think the curse left something evil in Harry?" Remus asked hesitantly.
"Remus!" Sirius protested as James looked up, eyes wide. "You know the kid. He is the kindest kid I have ever known and I knew you as a kid. Merlin! We are going about it the wrong way."
Alexandra nodded. "We can't prosecute Harry because his wand shares the same core as that of Voldemort. Voldemort made a choice."
"What I am worried about," James said slowly, "is that the prophecy seems real now. Till now his disappearance was credited to Lily's sacrifice. But no one has heard of twin wands. In this case it is much more scary. It means that Harry has powers which in the least equal Voldemort's. No matter when that bastard comes back, it looks like my son would be the one to fight him and end it. What am I going to do? I am his father. I am supposed to protect him."
"James stop!" Remus said, "You can't beat yourself up. You are doing all that you could. All of us are."
"Yeah." Sirius said, "And we know nothing about this twin core business. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it will help Harry."
"James." Alexandra said gently, "Harry is a great kid. You are doing better than what any of us had expected from you. Don't lose focus by worrying about the future. Focus on Harry, prepare him to be the man he has the potential to become. If and when the time comes, Harry will be fine and he won't be alone. The two of you are stuck with all of us. You should accept it."
James gave them a small smile before bidding them Goodnight. He spent a long time in Harry's room watching him sleep, ultimately crashing next to his son. His last coherent thought being that he would contact Dumbledore the first thing in the morning.
AN: And that's a really long chapter. Bits of it have been taken from the Diagon Alley Chapter; Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I have tried to bring in as many elements as I can making this chapter as long as one of my oneshots or two chapters. Hope everyone is happy.
Now begins Harry's first year and the real task. I would need all your support. Please do read and review. Don't forget to follow/fav us if you like us.
Much love,
The Fishes
