Draco spent much of the next two weeks in a state of constant anxiety. Knowing that Dobby knew his secret and that any of the other house elves could find out at any moment from a simple overheard conversation easily pushed him to the brink of paranoia. But, as the days wore on and no murmurs of his condition turned up, he began to relax. Either Dobby was still the only house elf that knew or the loyalty of the other house elves to the castle and its inhabitants was strong enough for them to keep such a large secret silent.
The next full moon was brutal. The stress of classes and wondering if he would be exposed at any moment had only provided more tension for his wolf side. When it was allowed to take over that one night, he found himself with more severe wounds than the previous month. Though, maybe it seemed that way because cleaning himself up and healing the gouges and slashes was slower this time. He refused Hermione's help and applied the Dittany alone. She had had enough to worry about what with needing to catch up on homework and seeing Madame Pomfrey every day for check-ups. Besides, if she touched him like she had the previous month, he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to control himself this time what with her continuously spiking hormones.
"What about this one? It's darling." Lavender held up a tiny pink onesie with a matching flowered headband for Hermione to inspect.
Hermione laughed and shook her head. "I already told you. I don't know the gender, so we're looking for neutral colors."
Lavender pouted. "I just don't see how you can stand not knowing. Madame Pomfrey knows, so why don't you want to know?"
"I think some things should be a surprise," Hermione said and turned to a different shelf to look through some knitted blankets in pale yellow and sage green. "I don't know. I'm just undecided. If I change my mind, I'll ask her."
Draco smirked and went back to browsing his chosen rack by the door. Madame Pomfrey wasn't the only one who knew the gender of the baby. Or, at least, Draco was mostly sure he knew the baby's sex simply from how Hermione smelled now.
He sifted through a few scarves absentmindedly, mainly just enjoying the plush feel against his skin. It had only been two days since the full moon, and this was a nice reminder that the world still had gentleness in it when he was still riddled with leftover soreness and pain.
This was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the term, and Hermione had somehow convinced him to tag along on a shopping trip with her and Lavender. They were currently in a small clothing shop run by a woman who had to be older than Dumbledore. Everything in sight was either sewn, knitted, or crocheted by hand.
"I still don't get why he had to come along," Lavender said. It was meant to be a whisper, and, undoubtedly, the girl didn't expect to be overheard from where she stood with Hermione at the back of the shop. But with Draco's heightened hearing, he heard her as loudly as if she had been standing at his shoulder.
He knew his presence was unwelcome. From the point of view of one of their peers, his and Hermione's newly formed comradery was odd to say the least. As far as anyone knew, he was just a disowned Pureblood who had ceased his reign of bullying. Definitely not a reason to bond with Hermione Granger. And he had tormented plenty of Gryffindors over the years. They had every right to be suspicious of his company.
"I told you," Hermione said. She straightened, one of the pale yellow blankets folded over her arm now. "McGonagall wants us to get along. This is all part of us trying to tolerate each other."
Draco nearly laughed at Hermione's half-truth. Lavender would probably faint if she knew what went on in their lounge. Not that anything scandalous had happened between them - though quite a few times while sitting by Hermione in the firelight with her reading yet another of his Muggle Studies essays over his shoulder, Draco had imagined what it would be like to kiss her. It was those moments when he usually cleared his throat, stood up quickly, and offered to make them both hot chocolate just for something to do that excused him from her presence for a few moments so he could get his head on straight. It was only his lustful wolf side and her pregnancy hormones combined in a perfect storm that was making him have such thoughts, he was sure of it.
Despite Hermione's defense of Draco's company on the shopping trip, he agreed with Lavender that he probably shouldn't be there. Besides, it felt stuffy and slightly claustrophobic in the tiny shop, and he could really use the air. While Hermione was looking at more baby clothes Lavender had taken from the shelves, he silently slipped out the door.
The chilly autumn air seemed to revive him, driving out the stale air of the shop from his lungs. He slipped his hands into his pockets and headed down the village's main street. A butterbeer sounded nice and so did a chocolate frog from Honeydukes. But, he could get those later. There was something he wanted to do while he was alone.
The Shrieking Shack loomed at the end of the lane like a giant phantom, casting a shadow of dark remembrance over the town. When he reached the disheveled fence that barred curious visitors from entering the grounds of the old house, Draco heaved a sigh. He had seen this place on multiple trips into the village, but he had never appreciated it for what it was until he heard Remus's story.
Now, he saw it for what it was - a prison. And standing outside it now made him immensely grateful for the Room of Requirement. At least in the Room, he could ask it for padded walls and flooring to prevent self-inflicted concussions, and he didn't have to worry about breaking through a boarded up window and plummeting several stories.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
Draco stiffened. He had been so focused on the Shrieking Shack that he had failed to notice the sound of approaching footsteps.
"Hello, Blaise," he said and turned around. He was not surprised to find that Blaise Zabini, his former friend, was flanked by Crabbe and Goyle, both of whom were pointing their wands at Draco's chest. With a slight twinge of anger, he saw that Pansy Parkinson had her arm looped through Blaise's and was staring at her former boyfriend with a smug expression.
It was unnerving how easily Blaise had slipped into Draco's vacated role. Draco knew from reports from other prefects that Blaise had taken over the role of school bully. Draco had made a point of avoiding him in classes and at mealtimes whenever he could since more and more of Blaise and his posse's attention had recently been focused on making snide remarks at the disgraced Pureblood.
Draco considered drawing his wand. He knew for a fact that he was faster at spells than both Crabbe and Goyle. But, if Blaise or Pansy decided to join the fight, he would be seriously outmatched. Not to mention that the stiffness in his muscles was still present, thus slowing him down.
"What do you want, Blaise?" Draco said with a sigh. He didn't want to talk, and he guessed Blaise didn't want to either. Wouldn't it be best for both of them to just get this over with? Do what they came to do and be done with it.
Blaise shrugged a shoulder. "Why do you think I want something? We were just out for a stroll and stumbled upon filth. Tsk, tsk, I guess your blood just isn't what it used to be, is it? How the mighty have fallen."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "Blood status means nothing to me anymore."
"Well, you'd say that, wouldn't you?" Pansy shot at him. She looked him over like he was a bag of rat tails she had found decaying at the bottom of her trunk. "You're hanging with the Granger Mudblood now, aren't-"
Draco's Silencing spell hit Pansy full in the face. He smirked when she grasped at her neck and tried in vain to make any sound come out.
But his victory was short-lived. Goyle's cry of "Sectumsempra!" cut the air, and a moment later, Draco felt as if a blizzard of knives had slammed into his chest. He stumbled backward and tripped, landing flat on his back. Blood began to run from multiple deep gashes in his torso and arms. Already, it was hard to breathe as blood entered his lungs and throat. It suddenly felt like he was back in that bathroom just a few months ago when Potter had attacked him with the same spell. Only there was no Snape or anyone here to heal him this time. There was only the retreating footsteps of his former friends as they ran back up the slope into the village.
For a moment, Draco was sure he had dreamed up the whole attack. After all, he was now in his own bed back in the castle, not in the Hospital Wing. Or maybe he was dead. No, neither option was possible. The pain in his ribs and throat was enough to debunk both theories.
"You're awake," came a soft, very relieved voice.
He looked around and had to blink a few times before he registered that Hermione was sitting in an armchair next to his bed. She had a Herbology textbook open in her lap, though she closed it and set it aside on his nightstand.
"How are you feeling?"
Draco frowned. "Like I'm lucky to be alive."
"You are," she said. "Lavender and I finished shopping not long after you left. We went looking for you to see if you wanted to join us for some butterbeers. And we saw those Slytherins running away from the Shrieking Shack, laughing. They were talking about you, and I knew something awful must have happened."
Draco huffed out a breath, though he immediately wished he hadn't. It sent a spear of pain through his chest. It seemed that with all his body had been through in the last three or so days, Madame Pomfrey's painkiller potions were having less effect. "It's amazing how short the thread of loyalty is among Purebloods, isn't it?" he asked his ceiling. "I guess that means my old friends are officially all gone. Not like I suspected any different."
"Hey," Hermione said quietly, and he felt her lightly touch his arm. "You have a new friend though. And Gryffindor loyalty goes to the ends of the earth."
Draco turned his head to look at her. He actually managed a smirk. "Are you saying you'd die for me, Granger?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and smacked his arm with incredible gentleness. "Don't flatter yourself, Lupin."
He smiled then and carefully pushed himself up to sit. But his smile quickly faded when he looked at her again. From this new angle, he could see that her eyes were red and her eyelashes were damp. "Hermione...are you ok?"
"What? Oh. Yes. Just hormones," she said and wiped at her eyes. "I cry over everything nowadays. It's nothing."
Draco suspected she wasn't telling the truth, but he didn't argue with her. Instead, he poured a goblet of water from the pitcher on his nightstand and sipped at it, letting them drift into silence.
"Do you miss your life before, you know, before the bite?" Hermione asked after several long moments.
Draco lowered his goblet. "Of course. But," he shrugged one shoulder, "I think that, miraculously, some good has come of it too." When she raised an eyebrow, expecting him to elaborate, he added, "It's shown me who my true family and friends are. I can't say much more than that. I've lost a lot. I've lost a whole life, but I'm slowly building a new one, I think."
Hermione nodded solemnly, her gaze distracted as if she was really trying to memorize his words or something.
He hesitated before finally asking, "Do you miss your life...before you were pregnant?"
He immediately regretted asking her as she burst into tears then.
"I'm sorry. I didn't..." He scooted to the edge of the bed so he was right beside her. "I shouldn't have asked."
"N-no, it's f-fine," she said. She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes before taking a deep breath. Tearily, she said, "I just feel guilty...missing it. Because, I have this little baby who I love more than anything about to be born in five or six months, but...there are times when I want to go back to the simplicity of being in our trio just hanging out in the common room or grabbing butterbeers in Hogsmeade. I just wish I could have the best of both. Why couldn't Ron have wanted the baby?"
Draco shook his head. "I don't know. I really don't know how he could do the things he's done."
Hermione clenched her hands into fists on her knees. "Ugh, just...why is he so stupid? He's been cruel. And...and I'm glad I saw this side of him before our relationship got any more serious, I am, but..." She closed her eyes tightly, and Draco had the urge to reach out and pull her close as fresh tears ran down her face. "I miss stupid things about him that aren't even about him specifically."
"I think I know what you mean," Draco said, and this time, he did reach out to her. He took one of her hands in his, which made her look up at him. "Pansy broke up with me in a letter the day after the article from my parents ran in the Daily Prophet. I thought I missed her at first, but then I began to realize that I missed the relationship more than her. I liked having a girlfriend. It was nice to be wanted in a romantic way, to be held and kissed."
Hermione wrinkled her nose, and Draco was glad to have made her amused even if it was unintentional. "I don't get how you ended up with Parksinon in the first place."
"Me being with Pansy makes more sense than you being with Weasley."
Hermione scoffed, though it was done playfully. "How so?"
Draco rolled his eyes, but then suddenly found he couldn't look back up at her as the words formed on his tongue. He focused on her hand in his instead, carefully sliding his thumb over the back of her knuckles. "You need someone who challenges you to be the best version of yourself, not who tears you down. You need someone intelligent, who frustrates you in the right ways so you grow, not someone who makes you diminish yourself so they feel better about themselves. Honestly, I thought you'd end up with Potter."
Hermione was silent for a moment and then began to laugh. "I can't wait to tell Harry you think he's intelligent."
Draco's head snapped up, and a undignified sound left his throat. "Don't you dare. I can only face so much humiliation before I combust."
Hermione giggled behind her free hand, her other still resting contently in his. "Fine, I won't." Her expression sobered. "But I guess you're right. I guess Ron is one of those people you date because of proximity. Like because of convenience or something."
"Unfortunately, that's how a lot of our friends and romantic partners start out, from proximity."
"Yeah, but that's not why you stay friends or stay together. You stay together because you both value the other more than you value convenience. You're willing to go out of your way for that person, friend or otherwise."
"Do you think we'll stay friends after graduation?" Draco asked. He found the question passing his lips before he even knew why he had asked it. But, as suddenly as it was out of his mouth, he knew he wanted that answer more than anything.
"Perhaps. We'll have to see."
After such a chaotic year, I've finally felt the inspiration to return to this story. Thank you all for being such patient readers, though I understand if you all are annoyed by my sudden and long hiatus.
