Hello my dear, lovely readers, I'm so very sorry that I suck at doing these updates. I really, desperately, need to update all of my stories, so I'm going to stop making new ones and try to focus on the ones that need to be finished. Haha, key word try. So here's chapter 11 for you all.

Warning: Subconsious rape. D: Cussing, I think that's it. Unless suicidal thoughts count. :3 Oh and don't worry, this will be the last 'rape' written in this story. I'm tired of pulling it out of my tushie and rereading the crappy words so there. :p You should all be happy! :D

Disclaimer: Plot: Yes mine. Everything else: Not mine. :P Need I say more?

Naruto's subconscious POV:

Burning. It was burning. Everything was burning, hurting, but I couldn't find the strength to cry out or move. I was numb and felt heavy, so heavy it was as if a walrus was sitting on my chest. Ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it was still painful. I want... Wait. What did I want?

I didn't know anymore. I wanted things to be ok, I wanted to be normal, but more than anything, I wanted my life to go back when mom was still mom and dad was still dad. To go back when living in fear wasn't an option. I wanted so much, yet it all seemed impossible. I wanted... nothing. I wanted nothing at all.

Everything was a mess, a big terrible, jumbled mess, and it was as if it was all a lie. As if happiness itself was a lie like everything else I had learned to know. Things weren't ok, and maybe they never would be. Why couldn't it all just end? I needed to be free from the madness, free from the pain, free from this nightmare.

It was hopeless, I wanted, no. No more want. I needed. I needed to finish it all off so never again would I feel this way. I needed to die.

I will be free.

Sasuke's POV:

It's been about three weeks now. And still nothing. No indication at all that he was healing or about to wake up. In fact, he hardly moved at all now. It was as if he had given up fighting for his life. Great, just fucking great. Another problem to deal with. There was no luck in locating Minato or Orochimaru's whereabouts either, and any clue we did discovered only turned out to be a dead end.

I had hoped that Minato would return home and we would move on from there, but after Itachi had taken Kushina, he completely abandoned the place. Most likely because there wasn't anything there to go back to now. And Orichimaru could have been anywhere by now. He wasn't one to leave a trail to follow. But no matter, I would get revenge on the two of them soon, I was sure of that.

But for now, I was occupied with Naruto's health and it didn't look good. Even after the laborious operation, his condition was still a bit unstable and unpredictable. He needed to wake up soon from this coma, or he may die. But I could only wait, there was no rushing something like this, and pretty much no way to do so.

"Sir, it's time to begin the show." I looked up at the blue freak, I hadn't even heard her enter the room. I nod and she hurried out. I glance back at the blond. Still out cold. Maybe he just needed a little incentive to wake up, but what?

~Time Skip~

No changes yet. At least Itachi was back from wherever he had been. It was nice to have a helping hand around the circus, especially now. Before it would have bugged me, but right now, things were just too hectic.

More and more customers were visiting the circus each day, and I thought about closing the circus down until the blond's health improved more quite a few times. But in the end, I knew I couldn't do that to the cast. They needed to do something, or they would get bored or antsy, or both. And it would also help to occupy everyones' mind for now, especially mine.

"So anything new?" I shook my head at my brother's question, replying with a 'nothing'.'I continued to watch Naruto, his chest slightly rising with his small shaky breaths. Would he stop breathing soon altogether? Or would he make a good recovery? It wasn't all that predictable, but there was a hope that the latter would come true.

"Well come on. We have a runt to deal with." He said softly, rising from his seat and going towards the door. I gave my fox one last look before following Itachi out the door. The day we had gone out to bury Kushina's body, we made one little stop; the abandoned warehouse where we had found the bloodied unconscious Naruto.

We felt some more investigation would be in order, and lo and behold we found something better than a clue. We found Kimimaro. He must have been sent back to retrieve anything that might have been left behind. That or he was a trap.

But either way, we now had the small freak in our hands and for these three weeks he would not talk. Maybe now he would after all the torture Itachi had been putting him through for the past weeks.

We kept the bone freak a bit far out from the forest, chained up to a tree and gagged. He was so dirty, he practically blended in, and even if someone had found him, they would be too lost to actually find their way out for help. The fact that there was no signal for any type of electronic where Kimimaro was placed was an even bigger bonus.

We reached our captive and the small white haired boy hardly gave us a glance. I had to congratulate Itachi, the boy looked thoroughly whipped. His face was bruised, as were various parts of his body, and dried blood covered almost every visible part of skin.

"Are you ready to speak now, or must my brother persuade you more?" I asked with a slight growl. I took the boy's silence as a 'yes' to the former and continued, "why is Orichimaru helping Minato? What's in it for him?" The two men often held too many differences, so why help each other now?

He didn't speak at first, but after a couple of moments his shaky voice began, "Orochimaru was promised any young child, both freak and human, if he helped Minato." Kimimaro rasped out.

"How many has he been given already?" I asked.

"Four."

"Names." Itachi urged. In his hand there was a small binder which I knew held some of the reports he managed to obtain through his travels and investigations.

"Me, Moegi, Haku, and..." He trailed off.

"And?" I stood impatiently.

"And Naruto." He flinched as the words left his mouth.

I clenched my fists in anger. Minato gave away his own son to a pedophile snake? And not even that was what angered me the most, but it was more the fact that Naruto wasn't his to give. He was mine. Itachi, seeing me fuming, continued the questioning, "how long have they been working together?" Kimimaro was silent for a moment, possibly pondering on the question. "Two, maybe three months."

Itachi nodded, "what does Minato plan to do with all the freaks he is creating?" "He doesn't plan on doing much. He wants to create the ultimate, immortal human being. Something to awe all other scientists and to prove his greatness."

"Where are they now." I growled. "...I-I don't know." The small freak hesitated. "Liar!" I snarled, startling him. He shook with fear, "I-I don't know, I s-swear!" He was close to tears, but I didn't care. "If you don't know, then you are useless." I turned to Itachi, "kill him and feed him to Choiji." I turned away fuming, leaving the two alone. It was time for the next show to begin.

Naruto's subconscious POV: (rape..)

Nothing was making sense. One moment I was a small ten year old me, hiding in my covers from that voice, then I am normal aged me in this poorly dimmed room. I try to stand up from the sitting position I was in, but my legs are numb. The only thing restrained is my hands behind my back, and the bind around my mouth.

I look around quickly for any hint to where I am, but it isn't familiar. Maybe because it was too dark to tell what anything is. At least I was wearing clothes. That left some kind of security in me. Something moved and I tried to focus my eyes on the dimmed and blurred figure when I realized it was the stupid ringmaster. Typical. Only he would do something like this.

I tried to cuss him out, but remembered my mouth was covered when all I heard was muffled noises. "What's wrong? You don't look happy to see me." A small chuckle slipped from his lips. He moved closer to my line of sight, but something wasn't right. He was...different. I just didn't know how. "Ready for some fun?" He purred as he kneeled in front of me, a knife in hand.

I tried to move back from him, but there was a wall in the damn way! He clenched my shirt in one of his hands and effortlessly pulled it close and cut it off in seconds with ease. I was really freaking out now! I flailed desperately, trying to get the hand that was traveling down my thigh away from me.

He leaned in close, murmuring in my ear something about how it was 'natural', and I squirmed, scared shitless out of my mind. His hand began to stroke my thigh, his knuckles grazing there. My breath caught in my throat at the contact, and I tried to pull away again. He grabbed my shoulder and held me in place, "shh, let me do this."

My wrists ache at the tightness of the bindings and I clenched my eyes shut, afraid to look at him any longer. I felt his hands move slowly to unbuckle my pants, and I shook even more uncontrollably. He gripped the hem of my pants and began to tug, easily pulling them completely off and discarding them onto the floor.

My mind was racing as I felt him grip my clothed cock, squeezing alternatively, and I again tried to move away to no avail. He moved to my ear again, breathing his words, "There now, doesn't that feel good?" No, it definitely did not. It felt wrong, humiliating, disgusting.

I shook my head wildly, trying to get that message to him, but he wasn't listening. He let go of my cock to my relief, but then he hooked his fingers into my boxers, removing them too. He took hold once again and began to stroke me slowly, making me feel sick. My body was reacting despite my disgust, and suddenly he stopped. I watched horrified as he unbuttoned his pants, revealing his own erection.

Ridding himself of his own pants and boxers, he looked back down at me, "just relax." He moved forward and removed the gag. Once I realized what he intended to do, I tightly clenched my mouth but his frown proved that he did not approve. "Now, now. That will not do." He growled in a low voice.

He pulled my face towards him, almost making me fall forward, and he clenched the sides of my mouth roughly, forcing it open before shoving himself in. I struggled wildly, trying to get him to release his grip and to take out the offending object. I choked and gagged as he slid in more and more, Sasuke had done some fucked up shit to me before, but this was a first.

He spoke soothing words, caressing the side of my cheek gently as he worked his way in and out of my mouth roughly. I felt tears sting in my eyes as he began bucking his hips, pressing himself deeper and deeper straight into my throat. The foreign taste of his precum was ghastly, and it made me gag even more.

He let out small moans as he moved, gripping my hair and twisting it painfully. I was trying to breathe in through my nose, but it wasn't enough. My head was spinning and I felt his hands clench my hair one final time before he came. I choked at his substance as it ran forcefully down my throat, some escaping from the sides of my mouth.

He pulled out finally, my saliva and his cum both dribbling down my mouth as I coughed and tried to take in air. He pushed me roughly onto the floor onto my back before lifting my legs and ass to him. I felt exposed as he crouched before me, positioning his cock to my hole, stroking himself as what I can only guess was preparation.

He smirked as he rubbed the head against me, pressing it in and my breath caught in my throat. I struggled to even my breaths as I tried to get used to the sensation as he slowly creeped himself deeper inside of me. I bit back a scream, gritting my teeth. Why wasn't I used to this yet?

It always felt like a new sensation, a new pain, and my entire body was shaking as I broke into a sweat. I shook my head back and forth, "please..." I begged pathetically, "please don't." Even though his eyes met mine, he made it as if he hadn't heard my request. His smirk was nearly evil, and he just continued his slow and steady assault.

Pulling back slightly now and again, he would just continue to push in farther, stretching my insides more and more. I gripped my wrist bindings as tears of pain and shame streamed down my face. He continued onwards until he filled me completely, his hips pressing against my own.

I was still shaking my head frantically, sobbing, but it seemed to only encourage him. He pulled almost all the way out before plowing right back in. I screamed, it catching slightly in my throat, and I tried to struggle uselessly.

He repeated the action, occasionally gripping or stroking me, or he would run his fingers lightly over my sensitive tip, causing me to whimper and twist my hips in hopes that he would stop. It was hopeless, he fucked me slowly but mercilessly, and my body was betraying me by reacting to the bastard's touch as usual.

He suddenly began to rock more roughly against me, thrusting deeper and I felt him tensing up. I knew what that meant. "Please don't! Take it out please!" I tried again, but he ignored me and increased the speed of his thrusts. I felt him shoot his load, the warm liquid filling me. I looked into no longer cold black, but bright, sleazy yellow eyes.

Sasuke was no longer Sasuke, but that snake man. He sneered at me and grunted in his own sick pleasure as he thrust his final shots into me. As the sounds of both our ragged breaths and my pounding heart beats filled the otherwise silent room, he pressed his lips to my ear, "I will break you."

He pulled all the way out before bringing the knife from behind him again and moved it to my face, "we'll make this pretty little face more beautiful." He let out a low chuckle. I shook my head wildly and screamed at the top of my lungs "NOOOO!"

Sasuke's POV:

A scream pierced the air and I watched as a few of the customers shifted in their seats, unsure if it was part of the act. I recognized the scream as Naruto's and quickly rose from my seat. I nodded to Shikamaru, indicating that he continued with the show and he nodded back in understanding.

I hurried to my building and when I opened the door, I was met with the sight of a freak out, wide eyed blond, thrashing in the bindings that were keeping him from falling off the bed. Though his eyes were open, I could tell he wasn't actually seeing anything.

"Naruto?" I cautioned towards the distressed blond. What made him act this way? Simply waking up in this room wouldn't have done this. "Naruto," I tried again, lightly touching his arm. The action made him snap his eyes to me, but it was as if he was looking at someone else.

"Get away!" He screamed, doing his best to pull away.

If he continued to scream like this, the customers would get suspicious. Moving away from him, I went towards my medical supplies and began filling one of the needles with benzodiazepine. Returning to the flailing blond, I tried to steady his arm so I could properly inject him, but his moving was getting in the way of a good shot.

"Don't touch me!" He screamed fearfully. This was getting a bit frustrating. Grabbing his arm roughly, I stuck the needle into his skin quickly. I didn't want to make him sleep after he finally woke up, but his screaming was going to attract too much attention. Removing the shot, I watched as Naruto's struggling and noise died down. At least this time, I knew he was going to wake up.

~Time Skip~

"So he's awake now?" I nod at my brother, trying to figure out what the next step was. Naruto was awake, but what were we going to do about Kimimaro? Itachi decided not to kill him, saying he was 'too young and innocent.' Yea, too innocent my ass. I sure as hell didn't want him. And what about finding Orochimaru and Minato's whereabouts?

There was still no clues or information found on them, and if Kimimaro couldn't help, who could? It wasn't as if they left a trail, only a freak every now and then. And by the time the freak was found, they were long gone. Itachi ransacked the now deserted home, and only managed to obtain snippets of useless information about past experiments that had not survived.

"What do you plan to do now?" He asked, but I was wondering the same thing.

I shrugged, "not sure yet." Do we wait for the mad scientist's next move? Could we afford to?

Itachi nodded, "and what about your cast? Have you told them that Naruto has woken up?" I had forgotten about the cast, of course they'd be wondering how Naruto was holding up.

"No, I haven't told them yet. It would probably be best not to tell them until Naruto has had more time to rest." I'm sure they were all dying to see the blonde, but rest was needed for now.

He agreed and we refocused our attention on the ongoing show. This was the last one for the day, and tomorrow would be a day off. That gave me a bit more time to be sure the blond was recuperating well. I was sure he would heal up well physically now that he was awake, but as for mentally... I supposed only time would tell.

Naruto's POV:

Waking up in the stupid bastard's room was bad, realizing I was hooked to machines of different sorts and strapped down was terrible, and having every memory to what got me here in the first place was a nightmare. My stomach churned at the flashing images that invaded my head and it was immensely sickening.

Why hadn't I died? Was this punishment? Did I really do something that bad for all this crap to happen to me? How long had I been laying here? All of these questions and more were spinning in my mind, bugging the crap out of me. If I wasn't strapped down, I would be pulling my hair out in frustration.

I felt really weak and tired, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't fall into a fitful sleep. Maybe that was because I knew where I was laying and it was messing with my psyche. I shift my body uncomfortably in the bindings, but it was impossible to get in a better position than the one I was currently in.

I feel dead. I just wish it was true. I seriously did not know what I had done to deserve something like this. The sound of a door opening reached my ears, but I didn't react. What was the point? The ringmaster came into my sight, but I ignored him. "Finally awake, huh?" I didn't respond. I was much too tired to deal with anything right now, much less the ringmaster of all people. "How are you feeling?"

"Like candy and rainbows, what do you think?" I growled, irritated that he would ask something idiotic like that. I really wasn't in the mood right now to deal with such stupid questions. I felt like shit and my stomach wasn't any better. Who knew how long it was since I had last eaten solid food and not the crap that was being fed to me by these tubes.

But speaking of the tubes, "could you take these damn things off me, they're annoying." At first I thought he was going to refuse, but then he moved closer and began to undo, not the tubes, but the bindings around my wrists and waist.

"Leave those tubes alone, you still need them." I frowned at the thought but didn't say anything.

Finally free of the straps, I moved into a better, more comfortable position. At least that was one thing that could be easily fixed. "You should be glad I was able to save your life," he commented at the sour look on my face.

"Yea well I wish you hadn't." I grumbled, turning away from him.

"You don't mean that." I didn't respond. What good would it do anyways? It was more like wasting my breath, and I just wanted to do my best to sleep peacefully again. That is, if it was even possible.

"You know, the cast was really worried about you." The cast. I really did miss them. They were like a real family to me now.

"What did you tell them?" I didn't want to grace him with a response but I felt the curiosity get the better of me.

"The truth, what else would I have told them?" And now I was even more upset.

"You couldn't lie? You couldn't at least save me from that type of humiliation?" I snapped angrily, turning back to him.

He just shrugged, "and what good would that have done? Shikamaru would have figured it out sooner or later." That was true, but I would have prefered they found out later. As if I wasn't tainted enough. I didn't want the cast to know about this, I did not want them to know about anything that included me and my life.

"Why couldn't you just let me die?" I whimpered pathetically, burying my face in my hands in frustration. I wanted to cry, I just felt so aggravated with the whole situation.

I jumped as the ringmaster grabbed my chin harshly and I flinched as I met the anger in his eyes. "You are mine, and I will decide whether or not you die." He said in a low voice.

I felt my own anger rise in me, "that's all fine and dandy for you, but you're not the one living with the humiliation, not the one who has been raped countless times by a bastard of a ringmaster and by a creepy snake pedo, and you are not the one living like an empty shell with nothing left to define him, not even a shred of damn dignity."

I couldn't stop the flood of tears that began to pool at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I wasn't going to give that bastard even more satisfaction. His grip on my chin loosened before he released it all together. "No. I'm not the one." I had to strain my ears to hear his low voice. "I'm not the one, but do you want to know something?"

I waited for him to continue, but saw that he too was waiting for some type of response from me. "What?" I asked in a tired tone. He didn't speak for a while and I was beginning to get a bit antsy. "Well? What the hell do yo-"

I couldn't finish my sentence before Sasuke gripped the collar of my shirt and pulled me into him, forcing our lips together. I tried to push him away and I almost let out a cry when two of the tubes were yanked out of my skin from the motion. Sasuke thankfully pulled quickly away and brought his lips to my left ear. "I want you to know that I am sorry for the past. And even though I know a petty apology wouldn't make up for it, I will protect you from that type of humiliation from ever happening again. I promise." (1) I stared blankly at him as he moved away and left the room. What the hell was that?

~Time Skip~

I never knew that being in my own building again would be such a comfort. Even if it was just one small change, getting out of that damn room did ease my tension a bit, and being free of the tubes was an added bonus. It must have been three or four days since that strange incident with Sasuke. But I've lost a lot of track of time as of late, and it was kind of unnerving how time could just pass you by when you were out of commision.

At least these last few days I was able to walk around a little bit and speak to the cast for a little while, though I could tell they felt really awkward around me. I couldn't blame them, I just wish Sasuke hadn't told them what happened to me. It made things more uncomfortable than they were before. It made me feel as if I was losing them even more now, like I was losing my family all over again.

A small knock at my door broke me out of my thoughts and I tensed thinking it might be Sasuke. Since the incident, I had been doing my best to avoid him as much as I could, which wasn't very easy. Something was up with him, but I didn't know what it was. I relaxed as I watched Shikamaru open the door and enter my building. "Hey Shika," I greeted weakly. It was nice to see him, but I was still incredibly tired. It seemed as if I couldn't get enough sleep no matter how hard I tried.

He raised his hand in response and he gave a small smile, but something seemed off about him. "Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

"We have to talk, well actually I have to tell you something and I need you to listen very closely, ok?" I felt anxious at his words, was it bad news? Did something terrible happen? Did someone get hurt? Why wasn't he looking me in the eyes?

I cleared my mind of all the questions in my head and nodded in response and he sat at the edge of my bed across from me. "Naruto, I want you to know that we all make mistakes. That nobody is perfect, and even though we all do bad things, it doesn't mean that we do not regret our actions and are sorry."

I was confused, "Shika, what are you-"

He raised his hand and stopped me before continuing, "I want to tell you the truth about Kiba's death. It wasn't just Sasuke who was involved, but me too."

Shikamaru was involved? How? "I-I don't understand, why-"

He continued, interrupting my words, "It's not that I planned nor wanted to kill him, but the ringmaster forced me to. From what I can tell from that night, your friend wouldn't leave the circus because he was too intent on finding you. It would seem that the ringmaster was getting annoyed, and since the brunette wasn't going to leave without you, Sasuke thought up a plan to get rid of him. He led him to the freak building where only I was that night, and restrained him before commanding me to kill him. I was also the one that skinned your friend and wrapped him for Choji to eat."

He stopped and waited for my response, but I was speechless. "Naruto... I'm sorry." He whispered. I didn't answer. He rose from the bed and made his way to my door, stopping short from exiting. "Remember that you aren't the only one tainted in this circus. We're all dirty." And then he was gone. I could only stare numbly at the spot that Shika had been sitting in only moments before, then at the spot where he stood at my door.

"Yes, we are." I muttered to myself.

(1) Aww, Sasuke so loves him. :3 Despite all the harsh treatment, he really does care about his fox, but you all already knew that.

Well there you have it. The end of chappie 11. Hope it was satisfactory for all of you. Writers bloc sucks really, but I'm going to do my best to do updates for the other incomplete stories.

Haha, well it is a very crappy chappie, not very informational, but hey! Naruto woke up! Yay! And this story is going to end real soon, but don't worry, it is probably going to end in a way that not many of you would have thought it would. At least that is what I think. And the next chappie might be a bit depressing, I just hope nobody kills me for what I'm going to do. D: Oh, and trust me, the thought is killing me too!

Oh and for all the incomplete stories, if any of you have some ideas of what I can do to make it better, put it in a review or email me at my email . I would actually prefer the email, since I can view email on my phone without the internet or with it not actually being in service, haha. So yea...

Well Ja Ne for now