This is a new story I may be starting, since I realised that there were no Harry x Myrtle fics in sight on the main filter.

Summary: What if during the Triwizard Tournament, Harry dies and decides to take Myrtle up on the offer she left him back in his second year when he somehow doesn't go to the afterlife? Look out Hogwarts, here comes the Boy Who Died A Really Stupid And Probably Unnecessary Death (name in progress, the more names the better). Dead!Ghost!ProbablyInsane!Harry, Harry x Myrtle, The Twin Terrors of the Toilets. Cookies, Cream and a Reducto machine.


Chapter Zero: The Boy Who Died A Really Stupid And Probably Unnecessary Death (also known as the prologue)


"HARRY!"

I hear dozens of voices roll over into one as the Hungarian Horntail approaches me. I knew it was it, no Boy Who Lives nonsense could save me now. None, nothing at all. As if even I could survive this. If I somehow do survive though, Snape'll probably just be mad that 'the blasted brat', 'the infuriating Potter' or 'our resident celebrity' (BINGO!), survived due to, of course, his arrogance like his father. Maybe I could finally visit Mum and Dad. Haven't seen them in a while, a decade and a few years actually, but that's besides the point. I am going to die.

It's not like I haven't been in this position before, God knows I've been close to death a lot. When I was but a year old, when Voldyshorts came in person to kill me (I feel so honoured), my first year of school where Quirinus Quirrelmort von Quirrel (read: Voldyshorts: Electric Boogaloo) tried to kill me and steal the Philosopher's Stone (this neat thing that makes you immortal and rich), my second year where Tom Ridde (Jailbait Voldyshorts) tried to kill me with a basilisk, my thi- You know what? I've nearly died a lot.

But that's nearly dying. I haven't actually died yet.

Well, if I'm going to die, I may as well go out with a bang, so to speak. They all thought Dumbledoor was mad, now they'll see his genius.

I twisted the wand in my hands to point it towards me while getting into a dramatic pose.

"Nitwit..."

The audience grew confused. Was this some sort of spell i was doing?

"Blubber..."

Eyes of recognition met me from the students in my year and above.

"Oddment..."

The Weasley Twins were straight out laughing now, while the rest of the audience grew amused.

"And tweak," I almost whispered the last part, though everybody in the audience could hear due to me being the protagonist.

The audience grew confused. Nothing was happening.

I put on a smile and cheerful voice, loudly proclaiming, "Also, Reducto."

I hear a bunch of shouting before my world became pain. Goodbye world, hello afterlife! I expect cookies for all my work.

And I will get them cookies whether you like it or not.

.

.

.

You have been warned. The cookies shall me mine. ALL MINE.