Sixth Session
It's Friday afternoon and it is time for my dear experimental subjects to arrive. Well, yeah… right...they are my friends, I should call them friends instead of experimental subjects.
It's not like I pushed them to each other as if on an experiment to see how long it took for them to act on their feelings, or at least admit their feelings to each other. Surely they needed some nudges here and there. Nothing more.
Obviously, the prime material was already present. But they both can be so dense at times...
Back when we were kids, barely teenagers, all they shared were ridiculously meaningful looks and permanent hand-holding. And all they -no not they, just Nanoha as Fate would remain suspiciously silent as always- all She would say to any of my remarks would be: "We're just friends Hayate-chan!".
Unnerving I am telling you.
I wanted to smack their heads together and show them how Suzuka, Arisa and I didn't hold hands like they did. And all the time when they thought no one would see them, walking home just the two of them… Such lovely, oblivious dorks.
"Oh, you are here Hayate-chan!"
The voice of my blue eyed friend takes me by surprise as I see the door of my office opening and her head peeking in.
"Oh, hey Nanoha-chan please come on in. Both of you, please."
"We knocked twice, but there was no answer. Fate-chan was already leaving but I thought I'd rather check."
Fate tilts her head at Nanoha as if she didn't want her to let me know that. She always seems to be so afraid of me digging into their relationship as if I hadn't been a silent supporter all those years for #TeamFate until sense finally hit them.
They both finally sit down and they are staring at me. I guess they are waiting for me to say something…
"So... what do you want to snoop around today Hayate-chan?"
I'm going to ignore that hurtful remark from my dear Enforcer. I do this for you two, not for me, I want to tell her. Fate just never gets it.
"Well, you know I have been going through my notes and publications in my blog -"
"You are already publishing?" Fate interrupts me and I can see her color going up in three, two, one...yup, there it is.
Nanoha pats her knee as if trying to reassure her there's nothing wrong and I decide to ignore my blonde friend, again.
"As I was saying, I have been reviewing your memories and again I find some inconsistencies."
"What kind of inconsistencies, Hayate-chan?"
See Fate, that's the style to engage a conversation here.
"Well, you mentioned in one of your stories that Fate-chan was not the jealous type. No actually it was Fate-chan who praised herself on not being the jealous type."
"I am not jealous."
"Oh, and you tell me you have never been jealous?"
Fate blinks trying to come up with a smart-ass answer, but she is taking too long.
"What do you say, Nanoha. Is Fate-chan the jealous type or not?"
"Nyahaha."
"It seems our blonde friend here seems to forget about a certain game we played when we were cute sixth graders."
"Was that being jealous?" Nanoha asks me, obviously Fate still has no recollection of that happening. She will remember for sure.
"Well you tell me… us…!"
Nanoha chuckles and Fate seems to be trying really hard to remember. I guess it's time for Nanoha to remind her of that little story.
Sitting on the grass under the largest tree on one of the nearby parks to Seishou Elementary School, a small group of four very young friends was gathered: one purple haired, a feisty blonde one, a chestnut haired and a restless auburn haired dressed in their all white school uniforms. The laughs and chitchats indicated they were having a good time.
"Join us, Fate-chan!" the sweet purple haired girl called their friend as soon as they saw their always busy blonde friend walking towards them.
"What are you doing?" the tall blonde asked them as she joined her friends who were sitting down in a circle.
"It's a game Arisa and I were playing yesterday with other girls from school. It was loads of fun and we were about to start, but it's better with more people, so join us!"
Fate found a spot that somehow opened in the circle formed by her friends that left her with Nanoha to her right and Hayate to her left. Arisa right in front of her and Suzuka in between her and Hayate.
"Ok, so the game is called 'Kiss, Marry, Punch'," Suzuka started explaining but Arisa interrupted her just as fast.
"It's actually 'Kiss, Marry, Kill' but Suzuka here is too much a softie to imply killing someone even in a game."
Hayate and Nanoha giggled, already getting the drift of the game by the title, while Fate hardly paid any attention, keeping herself busy opening her lunch pack.
"Arisa-chan! It's not nice to wish for someone's death."
"But is it ok to punch someone then?"
"It's better than killing them."
"Fine, let's go with the standard kiss, marry punch, procedure," Hayate tried to shush the two girls.
"So who do we choose from? Like movie stars?" Nanoha asked.
"It's more fun if we choose from people we know."
Hayate was already plotting all sorts of names and combinations in her head to tease her friends.
"Oh, ok, we get it." Nanoha accepted.
"I will start," Arisa mentioned. "So, Suzuka-chan, you have to choose between Kyoya …"
"Eek!" Nanoha gasped. "My brother is Suzuka's sister's boyfriend!"
"That's why this is so funny Nanoha-chan. To get to choose in those dilemmas. And create drama!" Hayate gave Nanoha a very funny look, one Nanoha couldn't really understand.
"Exactly." Arisa snorted. "So Kyoya, Tatsuki-san..."
"Eww" Nanoha couldn't help gasping again. "He's old and a teacher! Older than my brother, can you choose someone more our age, maybe?"
Suzuka was already blushing, considering the two options she had been given and dreading the last one.
"Stop interrupting, Nanoha-chan, you will get your turn. Kyoya, Tatsuki-san and… fine… someone our age...I guess… Fate-cha…"
Nanoha opened her eyes to say something but just held her breath.
Even Fate shot up as she had heard her name, but sighed relieved as she heard Arisa finishing saying her options.
"...aan's brother, Chrono."
All the girls looked intensely at Suzuka who was profusely blushed trying to find the least embarrassing option. Surely it had been more fun when she had heard everyone's answers the day before and she had not been the one to choose.
"Kikisskyoyapnchssukisandandmrrychrno," Suzuka muttered under her breath and with lightning speed.
"I didn't get any of that Suzuka." Hayate poked Suzuka's cheek.
"Ki...kiss...Kyoya...Punch...Tsuzuki-san aaaand….well you know the option left."
Arisa burst into laughter.
"You would punch a teacher"! Nanoha gasped surprised.
"That's what is surprising you? She'd kiss her sister's boyfriend! Your brother!"
"So innocent dear Suzuka looks and wow…" Hayate ended her phrase with a provocative meow and clawing very cat-like. Which everyone knew had very little to do with cats and more to do with… other things...
Suzuka also had to laugh at Hayate's weird imitation of a cat.
In all justice...maybe everyone knew what Hayate meant...except Suzuka herself.
After they finally finished laughing, Hayate was the first one to continue the game.
"Ok, settled! You will have an exciting love life Suzuka-chan, I can't doubt that. So... I am next to choose."
Hayate pointed a menacing finger towards her blue-eyed, auburn-haired friend. And stood up as if presenting a show to her other friends.
"And I choose Nanoha to decide between the options I will give her. So Nanoha… Welcome to Kiss, Marry, Kill! -ehmmm- Punch! Where the rules are clear, I will present you three potentially attractive suitors for your heart to choose Nanoha-chan! So… choose wisely!"
It was actually a miracle Hayate had not summoned her device to provide her with the outfit of a television presenter of some corny contest TV show.
"Drumroll please!" Hayate turned to Arisa who just looked at her with the intention to punch her.
"You do not appreciate showmanship. Anyways, Nanoha-chan, sweet, Nanoha-chan." Hayate slow clapped in the air trying to create anticipation.
But Hayate was taking so long, Fate was bored and looked again into her back pack to see what else she had to eat. The only thing left was her juice box so she decided to ignore Hayate's ramblings and concentrated on opening it.
"So… our worthy candidates for today are: Yuuno Scrya! Known mage and librarian -boring unless you are into that kind of thing, also turns into a ferret, that actually can't be attractive, only if you are really weird and into that kind of thing..." Hayate even changed the tone of her voice as if someone else was presenting the candidates and commenting on their qualities.
Suzuka, Arisa and Nanoha giggled at her description of Yuuno.
"So that's so much for candidate number one. Candidate number two! Chrono Harlaown! Your BFF's big brother! Finally tall enough to look like a hot, handsome guy -again if you are also into that kind of thing. Broody and hardworking - seems to be a trait that runs into the family, whether dark haired or blonde. Maybe Harlaown's are a catch after all."
Hayate winked at Nanoha, who just giggled amused, and then chuckled turning to look towards Fate who clearly was not paying her any attention on her efforts to spice up the game.
"So... Chrono and...Candidate number three!...ahhh… uhhh...hmmm…huuuh..."
Suzuka, Arisa and Nanoha looked at each other, it seemed they didn't know that many boys that all of them actually knew, without considering teachers and repeating more options. Since they were all in different classrooms, they didn't know all the boys there either.
"And… I would choose someone else, but Nanoha wants someone her age as we already heard before, so you leave me no choice! No introduction needed, the one and only Fate Testarossa Harlaown!" Hayate exclaimed as if struck by divine inspiration.
"What!" Fate exclaimed getting back to reality, who in her surprise, had tightened so hard her juice box it had exploded directly into Arisa's face.
There was a loud shriek from Arisa that completely covered Suzuka's giggles at Hayate's show.
Fate was torn between helping Arisa clean up and telling Hayate she could not use her as an option for the game.
"All selections are final!" Hayate declared, ignoring the riot between their two blonde friends. "Nanoha, go!"
Fate protested again to only receive a slow spelling of the word final from Hayate.
Hayate thought that Nanoha would be cornered and flustered, but against all odds, Nanoha, who had been silently sitting with her legs crossed, hadn't even flinched. She seemed to ponder for just a second and smiling, answered very calmly.
"Well.. the easy one is marry. I'd marry Fate-chan of course."
Fate blushed as a tomato and nearly snapped her neck as fast as she turned to see Nanoha, since she had been still too busy trying to make Hayate's head explode with her mind.
"Nanoha! We are both girls, we cant marry!" Fate exclaimed while finishing emptying the juice box over Arisa in her flustered distraction.
"Well.. we are going to be always together anyways. So I don't mind marrying you. And kiss...hmmm... And punch...hmmm. Ok I'd punch Chrono and kiss Yuuno. There."
Suzuka giggled at the strange reasoning Nanoha had given.
Arisa was still too busy cleaning up the mess Fate had done to pay any attention to Nanoha's answers.
Hayate brooded after realizing her streak of genius had not resulted in the dramatic situation she was hoping for. She wasn't giving up.
"Ok, now the rules indicate that the person next to you receives the same candidates."
Hayate now pointed menacingly at the still blushing blonde.
"Fate-chan! It's your turn. Welcome to Kiss, Marry, Kill-Punch! Fate-chan Edition!"
Arisa, who had finally cleaned from all the juice, frowned.
"But she is one of the options, that cannot work. And you are choosing again..."
"True true, then the rules indicate that instead of herself, the option has to be the previous player that played!"
"Where is that rule?" Suzuka asked softly.
"Everyone knows those are the rules."
"But we were just explaining to you the rules of the game!" Arisa argued.
"It seems you are pulling the rules out of your aaaa…" Hayate turned to Fate and dared her just with a look to finish the word.
Fate snorted annoyed.
"All the rules are final" Hayate exclaimed as Fate didn't finish her phrase. "Fate-chan! Who will you kiss, marry or kill...I mean... punch! Yuuno, Chrono…"
"Ewww. Chrono is my brother you idi…"
Another glare from Hayate had Fate not finishing her swear words.
"Chrono, and sweet, innocent Nanoha-chan of course."
"This is stupid, I am not playing your rigged game."
"Your options don't make sense Hayate chan!" Suzuka had to side with Fate on this.
"All rules are final!"
Fate had avoided making eye contact with Nanoha since her best friend had made very clear she didn't mind marrying her. But now Fate couldn't avoid shyly turning to see her knowing that despite what she had said to Hayate, she actually wanted to answer the same even if it was just for a stupid game.
And yet she knew, she just couldn't go ahead and say it, especially as calmly as Nanoha could.
Fate found Nanoha's blazing blue-violet gaze smiling with hers for a brief moment. She wasn't aware she had been smiling until that moment.
"Fine. I'd kiss Chrono and punch Yuuno for having kissed MY future wife!" Fate exclaimed with probably more enthusiasm than the game required.
"Whoah, Fate-chan!"
What was actually an exclamation from Nanoha realizing that meant Fate was also choosing her to marry was interpreted by Fate as a surprised exclamation for kissing Chrono AND punching Yuuno and she felt the need to justify herself.
"Well you decided to marry me. Now I have to go and defend your honor. You cannot go around kissing anyone but me."
"But you can kiss Chrono?"
"They never specified what type of kiss. I can kiss him on the cheek because he is my brother and it counts."
"Well, then I kiss Yuuno on the cheek."
"Ahh, so it wasn't on the cheek when it was your turn? If you kiss him on any way I punch him."
"Mou, Fate-chan!"
"Unless you are changing your answers, I am punching him."
"It's just a kiss on the cheek Fate-chan!"
"Hayate what did you do?" Arisa smacked Hayate's forehead.
"It was you and Suzuka who brought the game. I am innocent of all charges."
"It's not our fault we don't know more boys for the game," Suzuka confessed.
"Who'd know Fate would be the explosive jealous type," Hayate cracked into laughter. "So I guess you guys don't want to play truth or dare then?" Hayate asked with a mischievous grin.
"So…. ok sure it's established you are so not the jealous type Fate-chan. And how long are you still waiting for? It's been twelve years!"
"Huh?"
"Are you marrying Nanoha-chan anytime soon? Make an honest woman of her? Stop living in sin? Put a ring on that finger?"
Should I go on bullying the poor blonde? I can't think of anymore ridiculous cliches to torture her. Oh.
"I mean you two have a daughter out of wedlock?" I add with a fake gasp.
Was that too much?
"You are thinking of popping the question, right?"
Fate turns to watch Nanoha eyes wide open, her jaw halfway to the floor and looking for some compassion from her lover. Nanoha is too good to her. They always save each other. She takes her hands in hers.
"Hayate-chan is just bullying you. Just like she was back then, Fate-chan. Also..." she turns to me. "When the time comes, I am proposing to Fate-chan. It's not like she doesn't know she's taken already, anyways."
Think of the cutest thing you have ever seen. Like a cute dorky panda fumbling around with his bamboo and rolling down his tree. And add puppies. And kittens. Take that times a thousand. Add gallons of icecream and whipped cream and that's how sweet they look at each other right now.
"Mine."
With that single statement, Nanoha turned to imprison Fate in a hug that probably has the poor blonde out of breath now. Actually I don't know if it's a hug or a wrestling hold. From this angle it doesn't seem to let the crushed blonde from her chest. Is she even able to breathe there?
"Hmmm… seems I got it all the other way around. Nanoha is the overly possessive after all."
"How long did you have Yuuno on your hook Nanoha?"
That seems to finally distract her enough from crushing Fate to death.
"Whaaaa- I never did that?"
"Oh come on, you led him on for a long time."
"Yuuno-kun has always been my dear friend and nothing else."
"Oh, he never tried to court you or go out on a date? Usually timed when a certain aspiring Enforcer was out on long missions?"
I do hope I didn't open Pandora's box. Ok , maybe I am regretting babbling this much right now.
"I knew." Fate mentioned, way to casually.
"Whuuut?" Now I am the flabbergasted one.
"I mean it was before we officially became girlfriends. Nanoha was free to date whoever she wanted, although I don't know if it counts as a date if only one of the two people involved thinks it was a date."
"Fate-chan does have a point. I didn't realize until much later that Yuuno-kun was trying to actually date me. I thought we were going out as friends."
And here I thought Fate was the oblivious one.
"And still you claim you were not jealous, Fate?"
"I guess I didn't have the chance. I couldn't say anything before and by the time it was over... He was a real gentleman about it after all."
"Huh?" both Nanoha and I shared the same bewildered look.
"It's been so long I don't think Yuuno will mind.. ."
"Fate? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, hi Yuuno. I was looking for Arf. I wasn't able to reach her, so I just thought I would drop by."
Fate tried too hard to keep a light voice, Yuuno mused. Her puffy eyes were very revealing too.
"Is everything alright Fate?"
"Sure, why wouldn't it?"
"Don't know..maybe because it seems you have been crying. A lot."
Fate sighed heavily. She didn't want to think about that again or the tears would start accumulating in her eyes.
"Is Nanoha ok?"
"Unless you have heard reports that might suggest she Starlight Breaker'ed half of Uminari, I think so."
Oh, now it makes sense why she looks like that, Yuuno mused.
"So you too had a fight? Why don't you let me get you a cup of tea, coffee or something. Arf had some things to do and won't be back for a few hours. I know I'm not her, but we can talk if it will make you feel better."
Fate hesitated for a second. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk with Yuuno about her problems with Nanoha... but she needed to talk to someone that knew Nanoha well.
"Wouldn't it be weird? I mean you...Nanoha..." Fate gave him a contrite look.
Yuuno felt it was about time to get certain things cleared up.
"No it won't be weird. I promise. I don't feel that way about Nanoha anymore."
"So... you actually were… what... in love with her at some point?"
"Sure I was, for a long time. Why do you think I accepted the position in the Infinite Library? I needed to be away from her. It would have made no good for either of us to be in Uminari. I knew she would never look at me the way I wanted her to look at me. The way she looks at you. How could she anyways? Compared to you there was nothing I could offer her..."
"No... Yuuno it's not like that...It's me who doesn't think I can offer her anything..."
"Nu, uh. Fate. The thing is I understood you were the right one for her. Even if I wondered whether she was the right one for me, I wasn't the one for her. So that probably meant she was not the right one for me. The fact that I also liked you didn't help."
Yuuno stopped, blushing a bit by the implications of what he had just not properly phrased and Fate's sudden flinch.
"I mean, I couldn't dislike you, you were, are, my friend as well. It was not your fault you made Nanoha fall in love with you."
Even Fate allowed herself to smile a bit.
"I did?"
"Of course, and you both are so hard-headed neither would notice. There was no point in me meddling in your relationship. I couldn't put her in that position, where our friendship would get ruined. At the end she would still have chosen you and I would have lost her friendship and yours."
"My little ferret boy, weren't you unnaturally mature for your own good?" Fate held his hands tenderly. "And it helped, didn't it. Putting some distance between you two."
"It did. But what worked for me doesn't apply to you Fate. Don't let distance grow between you two."
"She doesn't want to see me."
"Even if she is angry, she will always want to see you."
"I know... it's just…"
"Don't you want to see her?"
Fate nodded.
"One has to take the first step, and you've ner stricken me as the one to take the coward's exit."
"What was I angry about?"
"I don't remember either. Silly fights we had at first, I guess...before actually knowing and clearing what we felt for each other."
"Wow Nanoha-chan, Fate definitely is not the jealous type. I can attest to that now. I do wonder whether you'd have reacted the same if someone had been courting Fate while you were undecided on your feelings...and…"
There's a weird violet glow in my friend's blue eyes.
"Hayate-chan. Have you heard of my Starlight Breaker?"
Nanoha's voice is extremely low and controlled.
Does the room feel suddenly colder?
"Sure, who hasn't?"
"Exactly. Mine."
Point taken.
Poor Fate is again trapped in that wrestling move. That can't be a hug. This time, I am not even going to see them out. I will be the one to leave, for my own sake.
"Mi office es su office. Sayonara." I whisper and exit as swiftly as possible.
Damn, I need to get those spy cameras setup! Maybe for next week.
