Burning.
Freezing.
Bleeding.
Blood.
Blood everywhere.
blood
blood
blood
blood
blood
blood
blood
blood
Blood on pure white and purple silk.
Blood commingling with shining blue hair.
Blood staining dulled butterfly eyes.
Blood that was not his own on anyone and everyone.
Millions of flashes and images of people that he had failed. A boy with blue eyes and green robes rescinding his offer of friendship. A girl with green hair tied in a ponytail declaring him unworthy of anything. A boy with sharpened teeth not wishing for anything to do with him. A small girl with orange hair rejecting him for everything that he is. A pink haired maid not even bothering the time of day for him.
Failures flashed and flickered.
Died next to a silver-haired half-elf lying dead in the middle of a loot house.
Died alone in an alleyway.
Died in his sleep.
Died in a place that should be safe.
Died to a friend-that-was-not-yet-a-friend.
Died to the whims of gravity and himself.
Died surrounded by the eyeless dead.
Died holding a woman that he loved so much as his head rolled off his shoulders.
Died with a madman inside his head.
Died with his own knife in his throat.
Died to a woman soaked in the blood of hundreds.
Died in a library of the dead and the soon-to-be dead.
Died to a horde of tiny ravenous monsters.
Died to a poisonous love.
Died to a poisoned love.
All of them bringing forth more bodies. His own in one corner, and all of the people that he loved in another.
One was more important than the other.
One was always more important than the other.
All of them from countless worlds that he has left behind.
All because of him.
All because of his failures.
How weak he was.
How pathetic he was.
Darkness surrounded him.
Flashes
Burning
Freezing
Gnashing
Cutting
Slicing
Tearing
Bleeding
Hundreds of hands clawing at him grasping at his heart clutching squeezing scraping pulling squeeze squeeze squeeze until his heart beat stops
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you
Fake love unreal love love that did not exist and yet did exist hundreds of hands touching stroking violating ra-
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A kiss that was and was not his from a girl that was herself but also not herself as her eyes filled with madness and shattered visions of the world around her as she laughed and giggled and soaked in blood as she gave her twisted love to a corpse
Clawing at him hundreds of small white monsters eating eating eating eating eating eating eating EATING EATING EATING EATING EATING EATING RIPPING TEARING BITING HIS SKIN OFF SHUCKING MEAT FROM HIS BONES BITING DOWN ON HIS EYEBALLS CRAWLING DOWN HIS THROAT CRAWLING UP HIS
Subaru was shaken away. He had been screaming in his sleep.
Nightmares.
Beatrice was to his side, crying and worrying as everyone else, from Emilia to Otto to Petra, Garfiel, Frederica, and even Ram, gathered around his bed, all of them showing concern in their own way that was surely wasted on him.
He was fine.
He was fine.
He was (not) fine.
