Hello, I'm Gay

Chapter Six

Somehow, in a shockingly short amount of time, Bella had converted Angela, Jessica and Lauren to the fanclub of me.

"I can't believe I was so blind before," Jessica sobbed as the three of them wore shirts with my face on it. "Thank you for showing me the way." She hugged Bella who patted her on the back, like an all knowing leader.

"You were lost but I showed you the way. Have no fear now," she intoned wisely.

"Let us open the Rosalie Text to chapter 69," Angela said and took out a book she had in her bag that had a picture of my face stuck to it too. They all held hands, Mike and Eric included as Angela began to read.

All they were missing was a candle in the middle and they'd be an evil cult.

"This is insane," I tell anyone who will listen to me.

"I think it's flattering," Alice says, rolling a baby carrot between her slim fingers. "Don't humans do this with people they admire?"

"That is called a fandom. This is a cult!" I gesture wildly to their table. They're sacrificing the school chicken on the table in order to bring them beauty like mine. They stabbed at it with their plastic forks as it lay in a pentagram drawn with cranberry sauce.

"Let them have their fun. What harm could come from it?" Emmett shrugged, casual.

His opinion quickly changed when all the electric lights in the school went out and a creepy laugh filled the air. Everyone stopped talking, just looking around to find it. But it was nowhere to be seen. Then the lights turned back on and talking resumed normally.

"That, could happen," I told him flatly.

"Ugh, demon hunting, again?" Emmett scowled as my family and I split up to find this thing and kill it before lunch was over. We didn't want anyone getting hurt. "They smell gross and you can't even eat them because their blood tastes bad."

"Do you always think with your stomach?" I snapped at him, irritated that Bella and her stupid cult had brought this evil to our school.

"I also think with my dick," he said proudly.

Men, I groused. While Emmett and I were looking around inside the school, special senses on high alert, Alice and Jasper were checking outside the school grounds to make sure it wasn't there. Edward stayed in the cafeteria in case it came back there. After wandering around we found nothing and decided to regroup.

"I can't sense the demon," Jasper reported. "But I can sense Edward's feelings. I think I know where the demon is."

We hurriedly followed Jasper.

We found Edward and the demon bonding over their shared monstrosity in the janitor's closet.

"I know I look handsome but this is just the skin of a killer," Edward lamented.

"And I know I look ugly, but on the inside I really want to have a heart of gold," the demon said and the two of them began crying and hugging it out.

"Gross," I scowled, repulsed by emotion and went up behind the demon and snapped it's scaly neck in between my hard fingers.

"Why would you kill my only friend?" Edward sobbed, going to his knees and holding the limp body of the demon.

"Edward you have us," Alice soothed which only made his sobbing worse.

"I know, which is why I needed him," he wailed.

"Well fuck you too," Alice murmured and we left him there, in the closet.


"So I talked to the demon and he said that Bella's not a succubus. What I am feeling is called 'a crush'." Edward informed me at the end of the day when we finally got back to our house. Edward had left the closet and was confiding in me despite the fact I was trying very hard to ignore him by reading a book.

"As such, it's a completely normal thing to feel, and that I should ask her out."

I slam the book shut at this so hard it loosens a few pages. I hold back the growl I want to let out. Edward, talking to my Bella. Asking her out? Hell no.

"She's gay," I told him as evenly as I could.

"Yes, I know that."

"Then why ask her out."

"Because it will cathartic. And she might return my feelings."

"She's a raging lesbian!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air. Did he think his dick could somehow convert her into liking men? Ugh, the stupidity of Edward. He needed to open his eyes a bit more.

"She's still young. From what I have researched, a lot of teens question their sexuality during this age-" I could not listen to him blather on any longer. I pushed him out of my room. "Edward, get out! I'm done talking about this to you."

He did not resist as I pushed him out. "Is this because you like her too? Are you upset I'm trying to make a move on her?"

"That is not it!" I slammed the door on his face. I could still hear him from the other side.

"You know I can read minds, right?" he informed me.

I threw the window open and jumped right out the window, deciding I needed to go on a hunt to cool my mind. As I landed cat-like on the grass in our backyard I heard a huge gasp and jerked my head just in time to spot someone fall out of the tree a few paces from my window.

What the-?

Quizzically I approached the brush, which shivered and then spat out a human. But not just any human. I hadn't scented her before because she was covered in leaves and mud like a solider blending in with an environment. She even wore all cameo. But I could make out through the muck on her face, her big brown doe eyes.

"Bella?" I gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, what. I'm not her!" she brushed some leaves off of her. "And I'm totally not spying on you," she said, hiding her binoculars behind her. I arched a brow, very confused by all of this. "What I should be asking you, is how did you jump three stories down without breaking anything? It was all smooth and quiet too. Like a cat," Bella said and she approached me, interested. I backed up.

"Wow, slow down there. I'm just...athletic and shit."

"No you're not," Bella said. "And I'm going to get to the bottom of this." And then she ran off, back home on foot. I stood there, dumbfounded before I rushed back into the house. "House meeting! Now!" I screamed out. Within seconds everyone was in the living room, concerned.

"What's going on? It isn't like you to call a meeting," Carlisle said.

"It's Bella. She was here," I said, voice shaking a bit from nerves.

"Where?" Edward looked around. "I need to talk to her." He made to run past me but I held onto his scrawny bicep and he ran in place for a good while before stopping, tired out by my light grip on him preventing him from going.

"And? What's so bad about her being here?" Emmett asked, not understanding the gravity of the situation.

"What's so bad is that she was spying on me."

"Ooo, Rosalie has a stalker. Adorbs," Alice wrinkled up her nose.

"This is not adorbs," I scolded. "This is bad. She saw me jump out the window and she's questioning me now. All of us, probably once she thinks about it."

"But why should we be worried?" Jasper asked. "We look human enough, and we feel warm enough to pass for human."

"But we don't eat. Or sleep. What if she catches us slipping up? If she could get this close to our house without none of us noticing, then she could do it again."

"You have a point, Rosalie. I think we should be on guard until Bella's suspicions drop. As such, we need to have one Cullen watching the perimeter each night," Esme said. Finally, someone with some common sense on their shoulders.

"Orrrr," Alice spoke up and I knew I was going to absolutely hate what she said. "We invite Bella to our house party. She can see us acting like normal kids, drinking alcohol, doing drugs. It should be super. She'll forget about her suspicions when she sees how much fun we are!"

"Alice," I rubbed my eyes. "You want us to invite the chief of police's daughter to a house party where we'll be doing drugs and drinking? Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"I'm with Alice on this one. It sounds more fun than standing guard all night," Emmett supported.

"And I support Alice because she's my mate," Jasper tacked on.

"A party would provide a more intimate setting for me to confess my feelings to Bella. I think I like Alice's idea too," Edward said and I looked on at my family.

"Seriously?" I turned to Carlisle and Esme as a last resort. "Mom? Dad?"

They gave me sheepish looks. "Majority rule, Rosalie," Carlisle said. My jaw dropped open. Unbelievable. Wow.

"Yes!" Alice pumped her fist in the air. "It's time to throw the house party of the century!"

I sighed. Why was my life like this?