Hello, I'm Gay
Chapter Nine
I avoided Bella for a whole week after that, feeling like an idiot. She had only wanted to score with me. Use me for her own goals. She didn't care about me or my feelings at all. This is why I didn't date anyone. Less heartbreak to worry about.
The wind howled outside the window and the rain poured from the sky. Moonlight Sonata first movement by Beethoven was playing in the background as I stared intensely at the portrait of Bella that I had inside a locket. Her picture, brown and tattered with age at the edges, showed her in the throes of smiling. She looked so young. So beautiful. And she had broken my heart with that same smile.
I snapped the locket shut, sighing heavily. "Why must a heart like mine suffer so? Is it not enough to know the burden of love? Love is a disease in it's self, coursing through the veins, rotting the brain into sappy mush. And yet, still it was not enough to plague me with it. Now, I am cursed to forever hold onto it, and to walk with it unrequited in the bosom of my chest. The very same bosom you buried your lips into. Oh, Bella!" I declared and allowed myself to fall dramatically upon the piano I was laying on. My old fashioned dress of red and black rustled as I did so, and I was careful not to muss the perfect curls of my blonde hair.
"Love is like that," Edward said, nimble fingers dancing across the piano. He too was dressed in olden garbs. "Tis best neither to want or to need. I can still remember the day when her lips called to me too," he heaved out in despair.
Suddenly the lights went on in the room. Alice had strode in. We hissed at the sudden brightness, fangs exposed. "Seriously, you two. Quit this moping around."
"Leave us be; I've had my heart broken," I told her sourly.
Alice rolled her golden orbs. "This is why we always say you and Edward are alike, Rose."
"I am not like him!" I spat, indignant as I hopped off the piano. "I actually had heart break! I have a reason for this."
"But you've encouraged him to do this. You know how he is. If he gets the lightest sniff of sadness and dread, he's all over it like a fly on honey."
Edward shrugged. He couldn't argue with that. Instead he began to play a different piece. Love's Sorrow by Kriesler.
"Just talk to her," Alice insisted as I began to undo the curls in my hair.
"You heard her-"
"You know how teens talk nowadays. They say things like 'I'm dead' or 'it's brick outside'. She could have very well been joking we just don't know her humor."
"If I don't get her humor then perhaps that is yet another sign we should not be together?" I pointed out.
"Don't be a dramatic bitch, okay? I saw the two of you happy. So you end up together."
"I'm not so sure," I frowned.
"Just...go talk to her. Please. None of us like this mopey attitude."
"Then don't look at me. I know I'm a mess," I said dramatically and she rolled her eyes and shook me so hard the rest of my curls fell apart.
"It's not just that. Jasper has been so imbued by your and Edward's melancholy that he can't get it up anymore, and I need his dick! I haven't had sex in so long I think my vagina has curled up on itself."
I rolled my eyes again. "That is not an actual thing. I spent how many decades sexless and-"
"Well it is to me!" she exclaimed, and if we could produce tears, she would have some in the corner of her eyes. "So stop it." She looked ready to sob. I brushed her off.
"Fiiiiiine," I relented. "But, only so you can shut up about it."
"You won't regret this," Alice sang out after me. But, I already did, because I knew I was just going to sign up for more pain.
Tomorrow at school, (I had to psyche myself up in the mirror for my chat with Bella. And really, since when did I, Rosalie Lilian Hale, need to do that? But it seemed Bella had this affect on me and frankly it was a bit disconcerting) I was going to talk to Bella for once and for all. With my superior reflexes I had been able to avoid her when she'd tried searching for me.
And now, I used those same reflexes to slip a note into her back pocket about us meeting in the bathroom during lunch. I hurried the girls that were there out with one long pointed glare, so that I could have peace and quiet in which to break my heart in.
I stood there, arms crossed, ready for battle.
Bella arrived minutes later, face twisted up in an eager but also worried facial expression.
"So...finally decided to talk with me?" she asked, shoving her hands into her jeans pockets.
"Yes," I snapped back and she waited patiently for me to explain. "You said you were going to write a book about our relationship."
She stares blankly at me before what I've said finally dawns on her, her brain making connections to last week's events. "I was just kidding around." Bella's brows furrowed up. "Wait...how did you hear what I said?"
"I must have been standing real close to your table at lunch is all." I say this quickly and go to inspect my nails.
Bella narrowed her eyes. She did not seem convinced. She shook her head, as if grounding herself. "Anyways, is this why you've been ignoring me?"
"Yes," I answered quickly.
"I really wished you'd talked to me earlier," she told me. "That way I wouldn't have agreed to go out with Angela."
I felt something inside my chest crack. My eyes went wide. "Huh."
"I'm just kidding," she laughed when she saw my reaction. I was not as amused. "You owned me that for making me so fucking depressed this week. Don't do that shit to me, okay? I'm not the type to fuck and leave. Well, at least not anymore. And I don't want what we had to just be a one time sex thing even if we had sex many times. So, will you go out with me?" Bella said so quickly that I got emotional whiplash from being angry, to being happy.
"Sure," I breathed out before my brain could even think it, and she twined her hand with mine. Her fingers were warm on my colder ones. Wow. I had not expected it to end like this. Instead of breaking my heart, she filled it with warmth.
"I promise no books about us, even if we'd be the best damned love story in this world," she said with a too wide grin and I couldn't help but share her enthusiasm. "A better love story than Twilight."
"A what now?" I questioned, furrowing my brow.
She shook her head. "Don't mind that. We've got a date to plan."
"I told you it wouldn't be bad!' Alice exclaimed when I came back home, all smiles and floating on my feet. "Thank you so much for spicing up mine and Jasper's love life once more. We won't stop thinking about how much you helped us." Then she rushed off to grab a noticeably happier Jasper's hand.
"Ugh, please, don't think about me. Especially not during sex," I called out but they had already zoomed up the stairs.
Edward appeared next to me. "So, no more moonlight melancholy? No more howling into the woods?" he asked, disappointed when he saw my smile.
"No, no more, Eddy."
"Not unless she breaks your heart," he commented.
Before I could respond to him too, the screaming started upstairs. He left first and I followed after. None of us needed to hear all that.
Bella and I are dating right now. And though we've just come to this milestone, I know that they'll be other things in our future to ponder. Such as the fact that I was a vampire and she was a human. Would I be forced to change her? Or to watch her die of old age? Or to the Volturi's hands when they found out I was dating a human?
All terrible things, which was why I was so reluctant to date a human in the first place. Still, I didn't want to think about this. Not on our first date.
Bella had taken us to an arcade where among the loud noises and bright lights, I used my reflexes to beat her at every game, and also to win her many prizes from the shop. She came out of there weighed down with a huge teddy bear and about a dozen other smaller animals.
"You almost put them out of business," she chuckled, voice muffled by the bears. I had offered to carry them for her but she declined.
"I could buy them out of business too," I told her assuredly.
"Yea, your family is hella rich. Mine never was, but hey, I never really needed much to make me happy. Just clothing to keep me warm, a roof over my head, good food, and a hot babe on my arm," she winked at me.
I rolled my eyes at her. "Wow, so charming," I said sarcastically.
"You know you're impressed by what comes out of my mouth. Or whatever it is my mouth does."
I flushed, because she was right. Her mouth in the right place could drive me crazy.
"But none of that tonight. This is about me getting to know you, even if I wanna have you rail me 24/7," she continued on in that light hearted manner of hers. She turned to me before I even had a chance to flush harder at her assertions. "Say, would you be interested...in that?" she waggled her brows.
"In uh...railing you?" I asked as delicately as I could. Damn did I sound cringe when I said that. "I've never...railed anyone before," I said, stepping around a man on the street as we walked back to her truck to drop off her spoils of war before we saw a movie. What did railing entail? Every time I googled 'railing' all I got was images of a balustrade.
She laughed. "No, in getting to know me."
"Oh."
"But I like where your mind is," she chuckled.
"To be fair, you said the sentence in such a way that it's very misleading."
"But I'm happy to hear you wanna get to know me. I was worried you wouldn't be interested. That you'd drop me after a couple of dates," she said, and while she was still smiling, she looked sad.
"Why do you say that?" I asked her, pulling her to a stop by the truck before she can go in.
"Because you're Rosalie. Top of the school and top of the female sex."
"Bella, do you really not see yourself?" I asked her, slightly concerned. To me, she was beautiful. Radiant. She shone with an inner energy that made her look like a model in her own right against the backdrop of high school teens.
"I do...but I'm not at my best-"
I removed the toys from her arms and tossed them into the cab haphazardly before I captured her lips in mine. It was a comforting kiss. "Don't say that about yourself," I told her, stroking her cheek comfortingly. "I won't just use you. I want to get to know you. I care about getting to know you. And coming from me, that's a hell of an impressive thing to be bestowed with."
"God, I love it when you get all arrogant," she told me, with a teasing lilt and craning her neck back to stare dreamily at me. "Tell me some more about how I'm so blessed to be desired by you."
I laughed at this. She was so unpredictable. I loved it. I hoped I would be able to savor some more of her before I had to deal with her being human and I being a vampire.
But, as it turned out, the truth of my family was about to come out sooner than expected.
