Bespin

Lobot knocked softly on Lando Calrissian's office door, and was immediately granted access to the luxurious space. Lobot entered, bowing his head slightly, and handing a disk to the Baron.

"What's this?" Lando questioned, feeling rather harried with running Cloud City as well as all the upcoming wedding plans. He would rather have hoped that his fiancée would have taken on at least half the responsibilities, but to his surprise, she waved off the decisions, claiming it gave her a headache. Lando was finding out that Honey Ba'her had a lot of physical maladies, which seemed to crop up at extremely convenient times. It was a good thing she was so darn good-looking, or he might be having second thoughts about marrying her by now.

Lobot indicated that Lando should put the disk into the computer, so the former gambler complied with the request. A series of numbers came on the screen, and Lando frowned.

"I wish I could talk computer language like you do, Lobot, but…"

"Miss Ba'her has been secretly contacting Coruscant," Lobot managed to say. Human speech was not the way he preferred to communicate.

Lando scratched his chin in contemplation. "Maybe she's making reservations for our honeymoon. She did promise to surprise me after the wedding." He noticed that Lobot only shook his head in disagreement, so he studied the computer again. "Wait a second! If I'm reading this right, this transmission went directly to Imperial City. I'm not sure I'd enjoy a honeymoon surrounded by stormtroopers."

"Look again," Lobot prodded desperately.

"I wish you'd just come out and…." Lando stopped talking as the code suddenly made sense. "This isn't just going to Imperial City… this is being transmitted to the Imperial Palace!"

Lobot nodded eagerly. "The Palace!"

"But why would she be sending a message to the Palace? Who would she be contacting?" Lando mused worriedly. "Can you decode what was said?"

"No. Too heavily encoded."

"Well, this makes no sense at all," Lando stated. "I'll have to ask Honey myself what's going on."

"That would seem wise," Lobot said as he walked away.


Tranzam

*Han?* Chewie yelled into the comlink. *According to Threepio, we've followed Obi-Wan's directions exactly. But I still don't see a brown kow. How will I know which road to turn left at without seeing that kriffing brown kow?*

"Don't ask me," Han replied, glancing over at the strangely quiet Princess. "Just keep looking, pal. It's gotta turn up somewhere." He then addressed Leia. "What did the old geezer say to you right before we left?"

"Nothing."

"He must have," Han insisted. "You've been upset since you got back into the car."

Leia turned her icy glare at the Corellian. "Maybe, just maybe, I'm upset because I've found out Vader is my father! And Junior is my twin! Do you think that might be a possibility?"

"Yeah, it could. But I'm thinking it's probably got more to do about me."

"What makes you think the galaxy revolves around you?!"

"Last time I checked, it did," Han responded blithely.

"I have never, in all my days, met a more egotistical, self-centered, braggart than you are," Leia huffed back. "It amazes me your head doesn't explode from how much hot-air is trapped inside."

"Give me half a chance, and I could make your head explode, sweetheart," Han returned smoothly.

Leia was trying to formulate a reply when Chewie's voice came barking over the comlink again.

*HAN! Do you see what I see?*

"You're sort of blocking my view, pal," Han said, squinting to see up ahead.

*It's a twenty-foot high, plasteel kow with advertising written on the side!*

Threepio's voice came over the speaker as he read the advertising, "'Attention Kowpokes! If you need your field to sow, Contact us now! Hownow, the Plow Folks!' That does not rhyme very well, and I strongly suspect they did not employ a professional advertising agency in creating this odd looking creature. It's not even anatomically correct, since a kow is a female, and a female does not have male parts, as this representation seems to have."

*Should I turn left?* Chewie asked.

"No," Han said dryly. "We should keep looking for another brown kow with the name Hownow written on its side. Of COURSE we should turn left!"

*Well, you don't have to get snippy about it,* Chewie complained as he swung the hover-truck left. *I'm hearing some noise on the ISD about a road block being formed on the main highway.*

Han's face broke into a huge grin. "That's the best news I've heard all day."

"Are you crazy?" Leia asked, eyes wide. "Never mind. I shouldn't ask the obvious."

"As soon as we're back on the main highway, let me take the lead," Han told his partner. "I'll have that road block cleared away for you in no time."

*It's all yours,* Chewie barked back.


Darth Vader gave his son exact directions, and the boy actually seemed to be doing rather well. For a while, he was a bit worried about ending up in the lake, which was directly next to the road, since the hover-cars were speeding perilously close to the water's edge. They left the lake safely behind them, and were making good time. Vader could sense through the Force that his daughter was getting ever closer.

Up and down several hills they went. Vader briefly shut his eyes to concentrate on Leia's Force-presence, and decipher her direction. A moment later, he heard the squeal of brakes, and the high-pitched scream of his son. When he opened his eyes, he was sailing over the back of a very large, plasteel kow, and then the Dark Lord of the Sith thudded into the soft dirt, flat on his back.

"What… just… happened?" Vader mumbled, trying to catch his breath. He sat up, his head spinning.

"Daddy? Are you okay?" a worried voice came from the opposite side of the fake kow.

Vader staggered to his feet. "I am fine! What in the Sith Hells happened?" He stalked around the large object, and saw that Corran was already out of his own car, and was helping Luke stand up. The Sith's hover-car's front end was smashed beyond repair, and the entire craft was tightly wedged between the kow's back legs.

"Did you take your eyes off the road?" Vader demanded, furious. "I TOLD you not to take your eyes off the road! Is that such a difficult task?"

Luke cast his gaze downward. "It was just for a second. I couldn't help it."

Vader repressed the urge to stomp up and down in impotent fury. "Why? What did you possibly see that you couldn't help taking your eyes off the road?"

Timidly, Luke pointed up at the kow's underside. "I've never seen them that big. Have you?"


Bespin

"Dear?" Lando whispered into Honey's darkened apartment. "Are you awake?"

"What do you want?" a sharp retort came from directly behind him.

Lando jumped, and turned to face his future bride. "I was wondering if I could talk to you?"

Honey pushed past the Baron, and turned on an overhead light, causing her beautiful red-gold hair to shimmer in the brightness. "What about? I'm busy."

He briefly wondered what could cause her to be so busy all the time. It wasn't like she had a job, or even a hobby. "I spoke to Lobot a little while ago, and he brought something odd to my attention. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation -."

"Lobot?" Honey cried out, her eyes flashing in rage. "That mutant hates me! What's he saying?"

Lando shifted nervously. He didn't like making Honey angry, and there were times when she was so furious it seemed as though she wanted to kill him. "He noticed that a message from your quarters was being sent to Coruscant."

"I have friends on Coruscant!" Honey said defensively. "You told me I could invite my friends to our wedding. Have you changed your mind?"

"No, no," Lando said, trying to calm her down. "But …"

"But, what?"

"The signal was being sent directly to the Imperial Palace," Lando said. "That seems a bit, um, odd. Don't you think, Honey-bear?"

"Don't call me that!" Honey shouted, shaking her fist at her fiancé. "Lobot is lying! He's altering the number codes because he doesn't want you to marry me."

"Lobot is very loyal, and I'm positive he wouldn't -. "

"Who do you believe?" Honey interrupted hotly. "An employee or your fiancée?"

The Baron suddenly realized he believed Lobot, and this revelation didn't make him happy. "I'll ask Lobot to double check the numbers."

To his surprise, Honey burst into tears, and threw herself into his arms. "Oh, Lando! I didn't want to tell you this. But it's true, I was sending a coded message to the Palace."

Lando felt totally off-balance by Honey's wild mood-swings. "Why?"

"Well, my … my sister works in the palace. She's…. she's …" Honey started bawling loudly.

"A short order cook?" he joked weakly.

Honey looked up, her expression dark. It was obvious she didn't find Lando's comment amusing, and Lando backed away, suddenly afraid for his very life. "She's one of the Emperor's pleasure girls," Honey stated flatly. "I didn't want to tell you."

"I see," Lando said. "That's understandable, then. Is she coming to our wedding?"

"If she's not working that night."

"What about the fact that your people of Phishipphosphate believe that a physical relationship starts on the wedding night, and not a moment sooner?"

"My sister is a heathen," Honey declared. "My poor mother and father have disowned her, but I still try to maintain my sisterly kinship with her. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Of course not," Lando said soothingly. "I'm just glad to know there was a reasonable explanation."

"There will always be a reasonable explanation for anything I do," Honey promised her future husband with a evil glint in her green eyes.


Tranzam

The four stormtroopers had hurriedly set up a small force-field device on either side of the highway. When activated, it would be able to stop even a large hover-truck. The stormtrooper captain held up macro-binoculars to his eyes, and inspected the oncoming traffic, watching for the notorious bandit that had kidnapped the helpless Princess from under Lord Vader's very metal breathing hole.

Then he saw the black hover-car. It was coming toward them at a very high rate of speed.

"Quick, men! Activate the shield!" the captain ordered. "He will not get past our highly advanced road block."

As the black car approached, the stormtroopers tensed, waiting to ensnare their prey. Then it suddenly braked and veered sharply, coming to a complete sideways stop, less than twenty feet in front of the force-field.

The driver of the car turned his head to look at the stormtroopers. "Hey, boys! You lookin' for someone?" the Corellian called out, giving them a cocky grin.

"You are under arrest! Surrender immediately, and we will hold our fire."

"Arrest?" the Corellian spluttered out indignantly. "For what?"

"Kidnapping!"

"Who, exactly, did I kidnap?"

"Her!" the stormtrooper yelled, pointing at Leia.

At this point, Leia had hoisted herself partway up in her seat. "You'd better not be shooting at Solo, or you might hit me. That won't make Lord Vader any too happy."

"Both of you, get out of the vehicle," the stormtrooper ordered sharply.

"If you want me, come and get me," Solo taunted, as he pressed down on the accelerator, slamming the Princess back against her seat. The hover-car shot off, back the direction it had come.

The stunned stormtroopers held their fire, knowing the Princess was correct – they had better not do anything to endanger the young woman.

"What are you waiting for?" the leader called out angrily. "Get in your hover-cars and follow them!"

The road block was quickly turned off, and the four men rushed into their two vehicles, racing to catch up with the insane Corellian. They never even noticed the black hover-truck with the herd of nerfs painted on the side as it roared past them, going the opposite direction.


"That was fun!" Leia shouted over the wind. She craned her neck to look back. "They're following us."

"Of course they are," Han agreed. "It's their job. Now our job will be to lose them, and allow Chewie time to get the ale loaded into the Falcon."

"I wonder where Vader and Junior are. Maybe Obi-Wan took care of them for us."

Han looked over at the Princess, his face skeptical. "If you believe that, I have a water park to sell you on Tatooine."

It didn't seem likely to Leia that Obi-Wan had defeated Lord Vader, either. But that only made her concerned about where the Sith would eventually turn up. "How do we lose the stormtroopers?"

"I never thought you'd ask," Han crowed gleefully. He pressed the control panel of the small, onboard computer screen. "Can you see a turn-off anywhere? Preferably one that loops us back to where we want to go."

Leia leaned forward, inspecting the various lines that indicated roads on the glowing panel. "Less than a klick ahead. Take a right turn."

"You sure about that?"

"I can read a map," she returned, irritated.

"Just askin'," Han said, shaking his head. "You sure do have a short temper. That probably goes along with being short in general, huh?"

"I am not short!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Princess," Han replied, turning to the right. Glancing back in the rearview mirror, he could see the two security vehicles were still on his tail, and he pressed his speed even faster.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Leia said, her fingers digging into the dashboard.

"That makes two of us."

"That sounds so reassuring. Keep your eyes on the road, please."

"Sure," Han said. He concentrated on the narrow winding road, and the sounds of the following sirens seemed to be fading as the stormtroopers could not keep pace with the reckless Corellian. "See? I told you I could lose them…." He stopped speaking, his eyes growing wide with shock. A moment later, he slammed on the brakes, stopping the hover-car a few short feet in front of a gaping drop-off where a bridge once stood. "That's just great," Han muttered in disgust. "The sides of this ravine are way too steep for the repulsors to carry a hover-car safely down. Why didn't you notice on the holo-map the bridge was out?"

Leia waved at the panel. "It's not my fault! The stupid computer didn't tell me that!" She looked worriedly at the deep ravine, and then turned to listen to the approaching sirens. "I guess this is it, Solo. It was fun while it lasted."

"This is it?" Han repeated. "You're not thinking about surrendering, are you?"

"What else can we do?"

"Watch this," Han said as his jaw tightened. He swung the hover-car, and headed back up the road.

"This road is too narrow," Leia pointed out. "We'll never get past them."

"Who said anything about getting past them?" Han asked, jerking the steering wheel. The car's engine protested as it spun back around facing the ravine, and came to a complete stop.

"What are you thinking about doing?" Leia asked, swallowing hard as her throat suddenly became dry.

Han revved the engine, and his face took on a maniacal expression. "You ever heard of that stunt guy named Vile Vainvyle?"

"Uh, yes. But he didn't he die doing a crazy stunt?

Han looked over at the Princess just as the security vehicles came into sight. "He wasn't a Corellian," Han pointed out, wagging his eyebrows. Then he pressed the accelerator down to the floorboard.


Corran wished he'd been able to see into the future. Then he would have rented a hover-car with a backseat, and wouldn't be in his current predicament, which was smashed in between two crazy Siths. He pushed aside Junior's long cape, which kept slapping him across his face and obscuring his view of the road.

Vader had insisted on driving, and Junior insisted on a 'window seat' because he needed fresh air, and who was Corran to argue? Never mind that it was impossible to actually breath 'fresh air' while wearing that helmet. Never mind that the hover-car was actually his, and he should be the one driving. Never mind that he had direct orders from Tarkin to follow Solo while not being noticed.

Of course, if he'd been truly able to see into the future, he would have never joined CorSec in the first place. He'd be living the life of a farmer, far away from the Imperial Regions, never having heard of Han Solo or Darth Vader.

"Daddy?"

"What?" Vader snarled. He wasn't too interested in anything his son had to say at the moment.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes."

"I didn't mean to smoosh up the hover-car. Accidents can happen, you know."

"Especially to you."

Luke sat back in his seat, and folded his arms across his chest. "I need to use a refresher."

"NOW?" Vader roared in disbelief. "We are in the middle of nowhere! Do you see a refresher anywhere?"

"Maybe he can just use a bush," Corran suggested softly.

"Uh, uh," Luke replied firmly, shaking his head. "I'm not going out in the woods. Snakes live in the woods."

"Junior is deathly afraid of snakes," Vader explained tiredly. "And spiders and frogs. And dust bunnies. You name it, he's probably afraid of it."

"Dust bunnies are right at the top on the list," Luke told Corran. "I'm pretty sure it's because I spent ten years on Tatooine, and there was a lot of dust on Tatooine. I would lie awake at night and worry that those dust bunnies would sneak up from under my bed and strangle me in my sleep. Did you ever worry about that, Corran?"

"Um, not that I can recall," Corran said, then dared to ask, "Why are you afraid of spiders and snakes and frogs?"

"Well, those are just creepy," Luke stated. "Everybody's afraid of creepy-crawlers. Right, Daddy?"

"Yes, Luke. Sith are terrified of creepy-crawlers," Vader agreed sarcastically.

Corran wondered how badly it would hurt if he jumped out of the hover-car when it was still moving.


Leia could only stare in abject horror as Han raced the hover-car directly toward the gaping hole. A mere second before the ravine edge, Han pulled down on a lever, and hit the turbo-charged engines. The souped-up hover-car shot up into the air, propelled forward by its high speed. Then, seemingly in slow motion, the black and gold car sailed over the ravine in a high arc.

"Yea haw!" Han shouted, fighting for control as the repulsors fought to keep the hover-car from hitting the ground on the opposite side of the ditch. The hover-car bucked and protested, finally coming to a safe stop.

"One of these days, you're going to be wrong about something," Leia finally managed to squeak out. "I just hope I'm around to see it."

Han twisted around to see if the two security cars would follow his example. The lead car's pilot, unaware until the last moment of the missing bridge, attempted to duplicate Han's jump, but didn't have the time to pick up enough momentum. That craft managed to make it halfway before nose-diving down, and crashing into the muddy stream below. The second security car's driver decided against trying to leap the gorge, instead slamming on the vehicle's brakes. He managed to stop the hover-car, but the front half ended up hanging over the edge of the ravine, and the car precariously teeter-tottered as its repulsors cut off. After several slow and careful attempts to restart the hover-car, the driver finally succeeded. As the repulsors came back on, he gunned the engines in reverse. The hover-car's repulsors shot the car backwards at a high rate of speed, which then rapidly came to a crashing stop against a tree.

"That takes care of half of our pursuers," Han said happily as he quickly headed down the road.

"Han?"

"Yeah?"

"I may need to use a refresher," Leia said, leaning back against the headrest and shutting her eyes.

"As soon as we're back on the main highway, we'll find a rest-stop," Han promised, patting the dashboard lovingly. "Firebird could use a bit of a recharging after that, too."


Darth Vader was grateful when a dingy, but large rest-stop came into sight. He pulled up into a recharging spot, and watched as his son rushed into the building which proudly advertised 'Clean Refreshers and Home-Cooking!' in flashing green neon.

"I could use a cup of kaffe," Corran mumbled as he stood up, stretching his stiff back. "And I'll recharge the hover-car, too."

"You do that," Vader replied. "I require using these primitive facilities, as well. The owner of this dubious establishment had better be correct about his advertisement, or I may feel the need to demonstrate my displeasure at the misinformation."

Corran went up to the food counter, and paid credits for a cup of brown mud. He then watched as Junior exited the refresher and headed directly over to an ancient holo-game that was situated in a corner. The holo-game was called 'Asteroids', and Luke promptly placed cred-coins in the slot and perched himself on a stool in front of the large screen. Not wishing to get involved with another argument between the two Siths, Corran hurried outside to recharge his hover-car. With his back to the building, he never noticed a black and gold hover-car pulling up on the opposite side of the diner.


Han jumped out of the hover-car, waving toward the building. "You go use the refresher. I'll be inside in a minute."

"Fine," Leia agreed, rushing into the greasy smelling restaurant, intent on her destination.

After giving his hover-car a quick charge, Han strolled into the building and hoisted himself up onto a stool at the food counter. There were currently only two other customers sitting at the food counter, and neither one was human.

"Cup of kaffe," he told the server droid, tossing some cred-coins on the sticky counter. A moment later, a tall, masked being dressed completely in black exited the men's refresher unit, with a long white streamer of toilet flimsy stuck into the side of his utility belt. Han felt his pulse rate increase at the unexpected appearance of Darth Vader, and forced himself to appear nonchalant as he sipped his kaffe. To his concern, the Sith stopped at the counter just as Leia was leaving the women's refresher. From a distance, he could see her stunned expression, and Han knew he needed to distract the Sith to give the Princess time to escape the building.

"Have you seen someone that's dressed like me, only shorter?" the Sith questioned Han.

Han turned to gaze upward at the scary-looking being, realizing the Sith had no idea who he was. "Does he have toilet flimsy stuck to his pants, too?"

Vader gave a start, and glanced down. Then he quickly tugged the flimsy from his belt and tossed it aside. "You should try using a two foot space, while wearing a helmet and gloves. It's not easy."

"I imagine it's not," Han agreed easily as Leia eased her way toward the door. "But to answer your question… no, I haven't seen a mini version of you hanging around."

"You are impertinent," Vader rumbled.

"I've been called worse things," Han said, keeping his tone light. "Can I buy you a cup of kaffe?"

"I do not drink kaffe. It rots the gut."

"I see," Han mused thoughtfully. "How about some cold juice, then?"

"Juice is for infants."

"Water?"

Vader slammed his fist down on the counter, rattling the cups and dishes. "I do not drink! Anything!"

Han held up his hands, easing off the stool and backing away. "How was I to know you have an aversion to beverages? Honest mistake, pal. Have a nice day."

Rushing out of the door, he saw Leia driving the hover-car in his direction. Han wasted no time in jumping into the passenger seat. As they sped away, Leia glanced back in the mirror. "Who's that guy yelling at us to stop?"

"I might've forgotten to pay the re-charging bill," Han remarked.


Corran rushed back into the building. "Lord Vader! The man that just ran out of here? That was Han Solo!"

Vader decided it might not be good for his reputation to mention he had been actually speaking to the same man only seconds ago. "Was the Princess still with him?"

"Yes, she was driving the hover-car!"

"So that was Solo," Vader muttered. "I should have known …worthless scum-bum."

"They're only a few klicks ahead of us," Corran said urgently. "Now is our chance to finally catch them."

"Where is Junior?" Vader asked, looking around in irritation. "That boy needs to be kept on a leash."

"He's over there," Corran said, pointing to the far wall where Luke sat, intently playing his game.

Both men hurried over, and Vader shook his son's shoulder none too gently. "Luke, the Princess was here only moments ago."

"That's nice," Luke replied, his eyes never leaving the game. "This is a really cool game. You have to maneuver through an asteroid field while escaping from TIE fighters. And there's a space slug that keeps popping up unexpectedly, too. Shoot that, and it's three thousand points. I'm already up to ten thousand points."

"We do not have time for this," Vader ground out. "We must hurry. Now"

"Okay. In a minute," Luke said as he kept his focus on the screen. "I'm almost up to the 'expert' level, and then the points double."

"Luke," Vader warned. "I said now, and I mean now. Not in another minute."

"Yeah, yeah," Luke said, shrugging off his father's gloved hand, while not breaking his concentration.

Vader knew he had to take drastic measures. Drawing out his lightsaber, he ignited the blade and promptly cleaved the game console into two sections. The unit sizzled and sparked before crashing down to the floor with a loud noise.

"HEY!" the diner's proprietor called out in outrage from behind the food counter. "What'cha do that for? That game was a classic!"

Vader spun around to face the man, holding up his gloved fist. The owner grasped at his neck, and his face turned red. "I am having an issue with this game," Vader said. "It wasn't working correctly, so I fixed it. Do you have a problem with that?"

"N…no," the man gasped, his eyes bulging. The other patrons inside the restaurant turned away from the scene, suddenly deciding not to become involved.

Vader released the man from his dark side strangulation. "That is a good answer. Pray I do not find other objects in this tasteless establishment as offensive as that holo-game."

"I could've had the top score!" Luke yelled indignantly. "You're mean. Mean, mean, mean. I hate you, Daddy!" The smaller Sith rushed out of the building.

"Luke…wait!" Vader called out, hurrying after his son. "Don't say things you can't take back!"

Corran coughed nervously, and turned to the sputtering manager, who was on his knees, still holding his sore neck. "Sorry about the mess," he said, tossing some credits on the nearest table.


"You drive pretty good for a girl," Han commented as they sped along on the highway.

Leia gave the Corellian a vexed look. "Pretty good for a girl? I'll have you know I'm all woman, Solo."

"I've noticed."

The Princess blushed, then changed the subject. "Thanks for distracting Vader while I got away. That was very brave of you."

"Now that I've met the guy, I can't blame you for being upset that you're related to him," Han said, fiddling with his comlink. "Furball? Can you hear me?"

A few seconds later, the Wookiee's voice came back, *I can hear you loud and clear, Outlaw. What's your ten-twenty?*

"What did he say?" Leia questioned, wishing she understood Shyriiwook.

"He's asking us about our location," Han replied, then addressed Chewie, "Twenty-nine klicks east of the big puke'n park. What's your ten-twenty?"

*I should be at the Home Twenty in less than two time-parts, and then I'll have the Tin Man and the Metal Can help me unload the happy juice.*

Han was pleased with the progress Chewie was making. "I should catch up with you on the short-short."

"Huh?" Leia said, frowning in confusion. "Are you speaking Basic?"

"The big puke'n park was that rest-stop, and short-short means a short amount of time," Han explained in amusement.

*I've been doing some sand-bagging on the ISD,* Chewie woofed. *According to the chatter, the Grim Reaper is on your tail.*

"Copy that," Han said to Chewie. "Do you think your back door friends could form a gear-jammer once we blow past?"

*I'll get on the spinner and ask them,* Chewie replied. *Furball out.*

"Translation, please," Leia said, sounding miffed.

"Your father – that's the Grim Reaper – is close behind us," Han explained patiently. "I asked Chewie to use the ISD and see if the other hover-trucks will form a barrier, like a moving road block, once we get in front of them. That should slow Vader's hover-car down. Oh, and Chewie's handle is 'Furball'."

"I see. And what does Chewie call you?"

"Oh, he has all sorts of names he calls me," Han said with a laugh. "It depends on how upset he is."

"I can imagine," Leia agreed. "But I was talking about your handle."

"Outlaw."

"That suits you," Leia said, then after a pause added, "We probably should switch seats, don't you think?"

Han grinned. "Thought you'd never ask. Pull yourself up, and I'll scoot under. Then you can wiggle over to this side."

"You want us to change while we're moving?" Leia asked incredulously.

"We can't stop now, Sweetheart," Han replied. "Your family's way too close for comfort."

"I'd appreciate it if you would stop referring to those freaks as my family," Leia stated. "My real family is back on Alderaan, safe and sound." Her eyes grew watery as she thought about her missing parent. "At least most of them are." She straightened her shoulders, and using the steering wheel, hoisted her back end off the seat.

Han wiggled one leg over, and carefully shifted his hips to the driver's seat, wincing as the gear shift column jabbed him in a particularly sensitive spot. He put his hands on Leia's waist, and pulled her down on his lap. "This is all so sudden, Sweetheart."

"Get your hands off of me," Leia snapped, trying to move to the passenger seat.

"Don't get excited."

Leia pushed away, landing awkwardly as she avoided the shifter. "Being held by you isn't enough to get me excited, Captain," she said haughtily.

Han spared a second to leer at the Princess. "Sorry, I don't have time for anything else."

Trying to look furious, Leia folded her arms across her chest and stared out of the window. She managed with some effort to keep a smile from appearing on her face as she thought, Maybe later…


Bespin

Lando's hand was shaking as he read the hastily scrawled, yet oddly detailed note.

Lando. I have come to the inescapable conclusion that you no longer trust me, nor do you love me. Without your love, I have no reason to continue to live. Therefore I have decided to end my miserable life by inhaling tibanna gas, which I do believe is fatal in a way that will not mar my delicate beauty. Perhaps you can keep my lifeless body under glass, so you can gaze upon what could have been until you are old and decrepit. This final act of mine will be accomplished by inhaling tibanna gas at precisely ten in the morning, which gives you enough time so as not to spoil your breakfast. This event, which will occur at the main processing area, level twenty, room forty-one, right below the observation deck and inside the actual freezing chamber, will be the only method I can think of that can show you my complete devotion and spend eternity with you, on Cloud City.

Sincerely,

Honey

Lando knew he had to get to that carbon freezing chamber, before Honey did the deed. He rushed down the turbo-lift to level twenty, and double checked the note before entering room forty-one.

Inside all was quiet except for the eerie hissing noise of the vents. He blinked to adjust his vision to the darkened area. "Honey?" he called out in concern. "It's only nine-thirty! Where are you?"

Heart hammering, Lando carefully made his way around the edge of the round hole in the center of the room, trying to peer down through the mist. His blood went cold as he saw a crumpled form laying on the bottom. Was he too late?

The Baron hurried down the ladder that was attached to the edge of the pit and knelt down to turn her gently over in his arms. "Hon…" He stopped speaking in stunned surprise. It wasn't a body at all, but a faceless cloth dummy dressed in Honey's wedding gown.

"I knew I could lure you into my trap. Men are so easy to fool," a cool voice spoke from over his head.

Lando dropped the dummy as he stared up into Honey's blaster, which was pointed at his head. "What's going on here?"

The red-head backed up a few feet, reaching for a lever. "You're about to find out if those rumors about humans being able to survive carbonite freezing are true."

"Why, Honey? WHY!?" Lando screamed, dropping to his knees. "I love you!"

"I know," she replied snidely as she pulled the handle and backed away from the blast of icy steam.


Tranzam

"I hate my father," Luke informed Corran, who was once again smashed between the two Siths. "Tell Daddy I hate him."

"Lord Vader, your son hates you," Corran relayed to the older Sith sitting on his left. "Don't Force-choke me, please. I'm only the messenger."

"It truly doesn't matter that you hate me, Luke," Vader told Luke, speaking over Corran's head. "Hate is of the dark side, and that is what I've been trying to teach you all these years. As long as I have your respect, that is all that matters."

"Tell Daddy I don't respect him, either. Respect is earned."

Corran sighed. "Junior says he doesn't respect you."

"When have you ever earned MY respect, Junior?" Vader asked hotly.

"Corran, tell my father I'm not speaking to him," Luke muttered, slumping down and staring out of the hover-car at the passing scenery.

"You can't not speak to me for the rest of your life," Vader rumbled at his sullen off-spring as he drove along the busy highway.

"Tell my Daddy I can't hear him," Luke told Corran.

"He says…"

"I can hear him!" Vader shouted, turning his complete attention to his son. "I'm not deaf!"

A huge hover-truck suddenly veered into their path, while a second hover-truck loomed ominously close to their rear-end, and a third roared up next to them, casting a dark shadow as it boxed them in on all three sides. "WATCH OUT!" Corran screamed.

The Sith barely had time to punch the brakes, and the gray hover-car swerved violently, side-swiping the truck next to them. "What do these fools think they are doing?" Vader roared in annoyance as the side mirror went sailing off into the distance.

"The hover-car rental company isn't going to be very happy with me," Corran groaned.

"Ha!" Luke said, sounding smug. "Tell my Daddy now he's smooshed up a hover-car, too. See how easy it is?"

"Sir?" Corran said. "Your son said - "

"I KRIFFING HEARD HIM!" Vader yelled, and with his fist he pounded the dash so hard the plasteel covering fell into Corran and Luke's laps.

Corran lifted the cover slightly from his knees, and turned to look at Luke. "I do believe he heard you."


As the sun was setting on a very busy day, Chewie patted his stomach which was giving off frequent rumbles. *I need a snack.*

"Is that wise?" Threepio questioned worriedly. "I do believe that Outlaw is expecting us to slick over to the Home twenty without braking."

*He will never have to know,* Chewie barked out, waving his furry fist under the droid's chin in a threatening gesture. *Will he?*

Threepio shook his metal head. "I square with you, Furball. He must never know!" He looked down at Artoo. "Do not tell the Outlaw we are putting on the skids for a gut-stuffer, Tin Can. That's an order."

*You have been listening to the ISD for way too long,* Chewie woofed.

Artoo only gave a raspberry to Threepio.


Vader was getting quite upset at the amount of traffic boxing in their car. It seemed to be giant hover-trucks as far as he could see. "Why are all these hover-trucks moving so slowly?"

"They're going the speed limit," Corran pointed out, glancing over at Junior, who was playing with the music dial on the broken dashboard.

"My point, exactly! Since when do hover-trucks go the speed limit?"

"I wish Daddy hadn't busted up the holo-transmitter," Luke grumbled. "I wanted to listen to music."

"The stuff you listen to isn't music," Vader said. "Back in my day, now that was decent music." Vader tapped his gloved fingers impatiently. "I am going to get around these trucks by driving along the right side."

"That's illegal!" Corran protested.

"And your point is?"

"Nothing," Corran muttered. "Never mind."

Vader jerked the vehicle off the main road, and sped along side the rumbling hover-trucks. The hover-car raced along, and Vader gave an obscene gesture to one of the hover-truckers as they passed.

"Are you sure that was a good idea, Sir?" Corran asked worriedly.

"They will not dare to defy a Sith Lord," Vader intoned. Then a flashing holo-board along side the highway caught the Dark Lord's attention. A three dimensional little green creature with pointed ears was at the center of the holo-ad. He was stating his name was Bob, and he was busily extolling the virtues of a little red pill while surrounded by scantily clad females of various races. "Hey!" Vader shouted in startled surprise. "That's not Bob… that's Yoda!"

Luke looked up at the holo-board. "Bob is old and ugly, and look at all the girlfriends he has. Daddy, get me some of those little red pills so I can have lots and lots of girls, too."

"Watch where you're going!" Corran shouted as a large truck suddenly swerved deliberately into their path, clipping the front end of their vehicle and causing Vader to lose control. The hover-car shot toward – and then smashed directly through – the holo-board. The gray car's hood popped off as they sailed over an embankment, and Luke's long cape tore loose and fluttered away in the wind. They continued to careen wildly through a thick row of bushes, finally coming to a stop in the center of a green striped field, where a large group of young people stood in uniforms, mouths gaping open in stunned silence.

"We've smashed into a smashball game!" Luke declared, then turned his helmet toward Corran. "This car is getting way more banged up than the one I was driving, huh? Huh?"

"I'd prefer not to answer that," Corran replied. "It might be bad for my health."

"Can we stay and watch the game, Daddy?"

"No, we cannot," Vader stated. He looked over at the large group of people, now surrounding their vehicle, and addressed them, "What are you staring at?"

The group backed away nervously while Luke leapt out of the car. "I've got to find my cape."

"Get back into this vehicle, Junior," Vader ordered harshly. "We haven't got time to find your stupid cape, and it's getting dark."

"It's not stupid!" Luke shouted in defiance. "I'm finding my cape if it's the last thing I do!" With those words, he trounced off into the bushes, and disappeared from view.

Corran looked at the Sith questioningly. "Now what?"

"What do you think?" Vader hissed. "We get out and find that kriffing cape."


"We don't serve those kind in here," a burly bar-tender with one missing eye stated, waving at the droids.

"Breeboo," Artoo whistled softly.

*Wait for me outside,* Chewie woofed. *I won't be too long.*

"But, but…Furball!" Threepio protested. "This bar appears to attract dubious-looking beings. Did you see all those Garmorreans with their swoop bikes parked in the lot?"

*They won't bother you,* Chewie replied. *Too much.*

"That is not very reassuring," Threepio complained as he followed his small friend back into the evening darkness.


"Where are we going?" Leia asked as Han pulled off the highway, then drove the hover-car down a winding road.

"Just wait a minute," Han told her. In a few minutes, they were stopped at a small overlook, with a deep blue lake directly below them. The stars twinkled on, one by one, as the sky darkened, and the air was crisp and still. Only the sound of the local night insects interrupted the silence. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes," Leia agreed. "How did you know this was here?"

Han pointed at the nav-computer. "Scenic overlook. For once, it was right."

"Aren't you worried about getting back to your ship?"

Han casually reached over and draped a long arm behind the Princess's seat. "We're making good time. 'Sides, if I get there too early, Chewie will expect me to help load the ale onto the Falcon."

"Scoundrel," Leia chastised with a laugh.

"Scoundrel?" Han repeated, leaning his face closer. "I like the sound of that."

"I happen to like nice men," Leia declared firmly, her heart starting to race.

"I am a nice man."

"No you're not.. you're -"

Han cut off her protest with a long, lingering kiss. When he finally pulled away, he grinned. "Well?"

"That was…nice."

"I told you so."

"You're an egomaniac, do you know that?"

"Yup," Han agreed. "Now, would you like me to keep driving?"

"Is there a second choice?" Leia questioned, smiling.

"Um, we could take a longer break. In the back seat."

"Won't that put us behind schedule?"

"I'm just like this car, Princess. Fast, and real, real good."

"I'd like to check out your specs, Solo, and see if I agree with your assessment."


Little Junior Vader decided he was lost. He hadn't located his cape, and for the past fifteen minutes, he hadn't seen anything besides brush and trees. Finally he spotted an artificial light and quickly moved in that direction. When he cleared the woods, he could see a small bar, and under the lamp post he saw a group of eight Gamorreans harassing a golden droid.

Luke sneaked closer, hiding behind a black hover-truck, and listened as the droid begged the gang not to hurt him. A moment later, a loud roar filled the air, and the Gamorreans backed away from the newcomer – a very large Wookiee, pointing a bowcaster at the group.

The Gamorreans held up their thick hands, and grumbling, headed inside the bar.

"Thank you, Furball!" the droid could be heard saying. "I thought we were doomed, for sure!"

The Wookiee made a few growling sounds, and then the droid sounded even more concerned, "They might come back? With backup? My circuits can't handle the stress!"

The Wookiee waved at the droids to hurry, and they started to get inside the cab of the hover-truck.

The Junior Sith pursed his lips in thought. He didn't know the way back to the hover-car. And besides, it would serve his father right if he disappeared. Especially after ruining that game. Without further thought, Luke used his lightsaber to open the lock on the back of the hover-truck. Inside were stacks of crates, filled with Tranzam ale. He jumped in the bed of the truck, and started to pull the back door shut. Before he could get it all the way closed, the truck rumbled to life and started to back up.

Luke's mouth dropped open in surprise as the hover-truck lowered closer to the ground, and then promptly backed over all eight swoop bikes parked in a neat row, each bike crashing loudly into the next, until they were all lying on their sides, and now in disrepair. The Gamorrean gang rushed out of the bar, grunting in shock at the sight of their ruined bikes, and waved angry fists at the hover-truck. Then the truck lifted, and moved off toward the main road.

Luke pulled the door the rest of the way shut and said, "Wiz."


The hover-truck slowed and Luke could feel it coming to a stop. Tentatively, he peeked out of the back of the truck, and saw they were now parked next to a battered, saucer shaped ship and immediately thought, What a piece of junk! Not wanting to take a chance at getting caught, he jumped out of the truck and hurried to hide in the shadows, behind the landing struts of the ship.


"Maybe we'll find him walking along the edge of the road," Corran suggested to the seething Sith Lord as they drove along the highway. Junior's long cloak with the red "S" had been located by Corran an hour ago, and it was at that point the two men had started their fruitless and time-consuming search for the younger Sith.

"That is a good idea," Vader growled. "Lean out of the vehicle, and yell Junior's name."

Corran laughed. "Very funny, Sir."

Slowly, the Sith turned his helmet to regard the CorSec officer. "Do you truly believe that I have a sense of humor?"

"Um…no?"

"Good answer. Now you will call for Junior if you value your life."

Since Corran valued his life, he leaned out of the car and yelled loudly over the rushing wind. "JUNIOR! JUNIOR SITH! HERE, JUNIOR SITH! HERE, BOY!" Then let loose with a loud whistle for good measure.

After several long minutes of listening to Corran shout for Luke, Vader pointed to a dimly lit bar sitting off the road. A fading sign reading, 'Bucket 'o' Blood Saloon' hung crookedly by one chain. "We shall stop here, and ask the soused scum-bums inside if they have seen my wayward son."

"Good idea," Corran rasped, rubbing his sore throat. By this point, he desperately wanted to join the scum-bums and get soused, too. He pointed to the ground, where eight smashed swoop-bikes lay under a street lamp. "I wonder what happened to those bikes."

"It was probably a tornado," Vader stated authoritatively.

There hadn't been a cloud in the sky the entire day, and currently the stars were twinkling in the night sky. "But it hasn't rained today."

"Are you questioning the veracity of my statement?" Vader asked, parking the banged-up hover-car next to the pile of bikes.

"No, Lord Vader. Those rogue tornadoes can be very sneaky."

"Again, good answer." The tall Sith entered the bar with Corran tagging in his wake. Inside the bar, the scene was bizarre, to say the least. The only customers were eight leather-clad Gamorreans, sitting around tables and sobbing into their ale. Corran had never seen anything quite like it before.

"Why are they carrying on?" Vader demanded, addressing the bartender. "It's annoying me."

"Some hover-truck deliberately crashed over their swoop bikes," the bartender explained as he wiped a shot glass with a gray rag. "And not a one of them has insurance."

"Have you seen someone that looks just like me, only shorter?" Vader questioned the one-eyed man.

The bartender paused, rubbing his chin in consideration. "Let me think. Did I see someone here earlier, dressed all in black, with a helmet and gloves and boots…only he was shorter than you? No, I don't think so, but I wouldn't want to swear on my dear mother's grave. A lot a people come and go through this bar every day, and they all sort of blur together after a while."

"Don't you think a black-clad Sith Lord would stand out a bit from the rest of your clients?" Corran wondered.

Suddenly, one of the Gamorreans stood up and pointed at Vader, grunting loudly. The other seven bikers stood as well, and their faces changed from grief to anger in a second. Slowly, they surrounded Vader and Corran, pulling out heavy chains and vibro-blades.

"What did we do?" Corran asked nervously eyeing the weapons.

"They say the helmeted guy dressed in black was with the trucker that backed over their bikes," the bartender volunteered as he interpreted the grunts. He pointed to the door. "Take your fight outside. I spend too many credits replacing chairs and tables when fights break out inside."

"I will go outside when I am good and ready to go outside, and not one second before," Vader roared as he flicked on his lightsaber, and promptly severed the arms of the four closest drunken bikers. Those four dropped to their knees, howling in pain. Immediately, the uninjured Gamorreans threw down their chains and blades, and backed off fearfully.

The Sith Lord held the tip of his weapon under the chin of the Gamorrean that had spoken the accusation. "Explain how I could have left with the trucker when it is obvious that I am still here?"

A series of grunts and squeals followed, and the bartender again interpreted. "He says that someone dressed exactly like you was in the back of that black hover-truck, driven by a crazy Wookiee. The truck had a herd of nerfs painted on the side, so it was easy to recognize."

"That would be Solo's partner," Corran said excitedly. "The truck with the bootleg ale."

Vader nodded, then promptly severed the arms of the four other Gamorreans with his lightsaber. "Now I am ready to go outside," the Sith told the stunned bartender, and stalked out of the bar.

Corran shook his head at the gory scene, and tossed some credits at the quivering bartender. "Sorry about the mess," he grumbled for the second time in less than a day. Following Vader around was getting expensive.


*Where have you been?* Chewie demanded as Han's black hover-car pulled up next to the hover-truck. *The crates are almost unloaded!*

Han grinned as he jumped out of his car. "Sorry, pal. We got a bit sidetracked for a while." He walked over to help Leia out of her side, winking at her. "Right, Sweetheart?"

"Yes, we certainly did," the Princess agreed.

Chewie's eyes flicked back and forth between his partner and the young woman. *Oh, for star's above! Don't tell me you two have wasted time boom-shagalaging!*

"That's never a waste of time," Han protested. He patted the black hover-car fondly. "I'm going to miss Firebird. The old girl sorta grew on me."

Leia took Han's arm. "I can have my people come here and pick it up for you."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course, nerf-herder," Leia replied affectionately. "You can keep it on Alderaan, and we can take it out for a spin when you come visit me. You do plan on visiting me, right?"

"All the time," Han whispered, leaning over and kissing her.

*YUCK!* Chewie bellowed. *Save it for later, when I don't have to watch!*

"You're just jealous," Han said smugly.

*Han,* Chewie woofed quietly as he pulled his partner aside. *Did you ever stop to think that the Princess you were sidetracked with is the daughter of Darth Vader?*

Han frowned as he thought about the implications. "That didn't cross my mind, actually."

*Things like that never do.*

"Well, she's hot, and it's not her fault who her daddy happens to be. 'Sides, this could be The One, Chewie."

*The ONE? Since when are you interested in one female at the expense of all the others in the galaxy?"

Han glanced over to the Princess, and watched as she spoke to the droid. "Leia's special. I can't explain how or why I feel the way I do about her."

*You keep telling yourself that when Vader is chopping you up into itsy bitsy pieces with his lighsaber.*

"Maybe we should hurry and load the rest of the crates onto the Falcon," Han declared, glancing toward the road.

*Sure, now he offers to help with the manual labor.*

Han walked over to the empty truck, and noticed the melted lock. "What happened here?"

*We took a quick break at a bar we passed, and there was a biker gang of Gamorreans hanging around outside. They must have used a blaster to open the back and see if I was carrying something valuable, but I came outside before they could take anything.*

"I would like to add that those nasty Gamorreans almost permanently deactivated both myself and Artoo," Threepio inserted.

"Too bad they didn't succeed," Han muttered. "At least they didn't get any of our ale. That's the important thing."

"It is a sad day, indeed, Artoo," Threepio groaned in despair, "when we droids are considered less important than alcohol."

"This isn't just any alcohol," Han told the droid. "It's Tranzam ale."

"Oh," Threepio said, tilting his head. "Then that makes perfect sense."


Luke couldn't believe his eyes. Princess Leia – his own twin sister! The woman he had almost married this morning! – was walking into the ship, talking to a couple of droids. He watched as the Wookiee and Solo jumped into the back of the hover-truck to get the last of the ale, and then Luke rushed out from behind the strut and hurried up the ramp. Not quite certain of which direction to head, Luke moved toward the back and found a small, unoccupied bunk room. He awkwardly wedged his body into a narrow closet, and shut the door. He knew his father would be furious at him for leaving the planet, but the Force was telling him it was the correct move. At least Luke hoped it was the will of the Force. If not, he was going to be in big trouble with his father.

He listened to the loud banging noises echoing throughout the ship as the last of the crates were stored. Then he identified the landing ramp raising, and finally the thumping of the engines as the ship came to life.


When Lord Vader and Corran Horn finally pulled up at the spaceport, the only thing they found was an empty hover-truck with nerfs painted on the sides, and the elusive black hover-car with the gold falcon painted on the hood.

"We're too late," Vader snarled. "My son and daughter have been kidnapped by that scum-bum pirate!"

"It doesn't seem too likely Solo actually kidnapped them," Corran started to say, then shut his mouth when he noticed the Sith trembling with rage. "Or, he could have. In fact, it's likely he did."

"Where is Solo going?"

Corran swallowed nervously. "Um, I don't know, Sir. Governor Tarkin's orders were to follow Solo without being noticed, and allow him to leave the planet. I'm supposed to contact him at that time."

"We shall go directly to your ship and do that," Vader ordered.

The Corellian nodded his agreement, and led the Sith to his ship. Sitting at the communication panel, he punched in the private code for Tarkin, while Vader stood off to one side, unseen by the viewscreen. In a few moments, the gaunt, skeletal face appeared.

"Good evening, Governor Tarkin."

"Horn," Tarkin replied, sounding bored. "Has Solo's ship departed Tranzam?"

"Yes, Governor Tarkin."

"Good. Did you find out the location of the person selling Solo the contraband?"

"Yes, and I know his name, too," Corran replied. "It was a former Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Tarkin gave a thin snort. "The mighty have certainly fallen far. So much for the power of his ancient religion. You will contact the local authorities and have Kenobi arrested. The Imperial Authority will take care of Solo from this point on."

"I'd imagine that Kenobi is long gone by now," Corran informed Tarkin, bracing himself for the man's reaction.

The Governor's face grew red. "You fool! I told you to remain unseen! If you tipped your hand and Kenobi is gone, I will not only have your job, your life will be forfeit!"

Then Darth Vader stepped into view. "I think not, Governor. Solo has kidnapped my son, and …and his fiancée. You will tell me where they are going, and worry about keeping your own head attached."

"Vader!" Tarkin spluttered out, surprised at the Sith's appearance. "I was unaware of your involvement in this situation."

"I repeat… where is Solo's ship heading?"

"The Emperor himself has ordered me to stop the illegal shipments of Tranzam ale," Tarkin stated firmly. "He has a spy planted at the drop site, and …" The Governor stopped talking, grabbing his neck as Vader cut off his oxygen.

"Do not underestimate this ancient religion, Tarkin. I do not care about the Emperor's spy, nor do I care about restocking the Emperor's personal supply of Tranzam ale. I only care about my children's welfare. Now, will you tell me where Solo is heading, or I shall snap your scrawny neck, which will then deprive your atrophied brain from the small amount of oxygen your shriveled lungs and feeble heart supply to said brain."

Released from the Sith's grip, Tarkin gasped and gagged. "Bes…Bespin… Solo is heading for Bespin. But trust me on this…Palpatine will be most displeased that you have usurped my authority on this important project, Vader."

"And you may tell the Emperor to kiss –

Corran quickly cut off the holo-transmission. "I'm never going to be able to get a job in this galaxy again," the CorSec officer moaned sadly.

"We must head quickly to Bespin," Vader intoned. "When I catch up with Solo, I'm going to tie him up to a spittle and barbeque his buns over blow torches."

"That sounds like a good plan, Sir," Corran said as he rushed to the cockpit to lay in a course for Bespin. "I've always wanted to visit Bespin, and barbeque Solo's buns."


Back at the wedding chapel, some of the guests were trying to sneak out under the cover of darkness, while others, too afraid to leave the room, were crying and complaining about how hungry they were. The stormtroopers ignored the complaints, while dutifully guarding the presents and the drooping, gnat-covered wedding cake.


It was getting mighty hot and cramped inside the little closet. As Luke shifted his legs, trying to get comfortable, he heard a noise outside in the bunk room.

"I told you we'd have time to do it right later, sweetheart," a man's deep voice rumbled.

"I'm looking forward to the encore performance," a teasing woman's voice replied.

It's Leia! Luke thought, recognizing his fiancée-turned-sister's voice.

"We can take it slow and easy this time," Solo said. "It's a long trip to Bespin."

"Hmmm," Leia said. "I hope Chewie doesn't interrupt us."

"If he values his fur, he won't."

Luke could hear them kissing and moaning through the closed door. Images of his sister making out with the smuggler flooded his brain as the young man desperately tried to tune out the disgusting sounds. Then he heard the mattress squeak, and he could no longer bear it. He pushed the door open and tried to stand up, but his legs were asleep from his cramped position. The Junior Sith thudded unceremoniously onto the hard floor.

Both Han and Leia immediately sat up in the bunk, stunned expressions across their faces. Fortunately, their clothes - while in disarray - were still in place.

"Owww," Luke yelled, grabbing both his calves as he jumped up and leapt around the room. "It's a Charlie Mange! Charlie Mange!"

"JUNIOR VADER!?" Leia shouted out. "What are you doing here?"

"Why is your brother coming out of my closet?" Han questioned hotly, annoyed at the interruption. "And why is he calling himself Charlie Mange?"

Leia sighed. "I think he's saying he has a leg cramp."

The small Sith finally stopped jumping around. "Hi, Leia. I'll bet you're wondering why I was stuffed inside that closet, huh?"

"The thought had crossed my mind," Leia replied, irked.

"I ran away from Da… Father," Luke explained.

Leia got up from the cot and pointed her finger in Luke's face mask. "You listen to me, Junior. I'm not marrying you, and I have more than a few good reasons, too!"

"I know," Luke said, nodding. "We can't get married. The drunken old Jedi told me that we're siblings, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal for twins to get hitched. But you should probably know that Da… I mean Father wants to turn you into a Sith."

"I'm not going to become a Sith!" Leia said indignantly. "Princesses simply do not wear black. It's uncouth."

By this time Han had reassembled his clothing and was standing next to Leia. "Yeah, I wouldn't want to marry someone that's nasty and evil. Naughty and bad, yes. Nasty and evil, not so much."

Leia turned and gazed up at the Corellian with wonder-filled eyes. "Marry? Did you just say you wanted to marry me?"

Han looked startled. "Did I?"

"Yup," Luke said. "I heard it, plain as the nose on my face."

"YES!" Leia shouted in joy, throwing her arms around Han's neck and kissing him. "The answer is YES! I WILL marry you!"

Luke grabbed Han's hand and shook it enthusiastically "Welcome to the family, Solo."

"Uh, thanks, kid."

"But I still get all those wedding presents we left behind on Tranzam," Luke added. "You'll have to get more of your own."


Bespin

The Millennium Falcon landed on the same spot it had taken off from only a few days earlier. Dawn was breaking over the striking clouds, and the city in the sky seemed magical.

Han exited the ship with Chewie, while Leia and Junior followed closely behind.

"Where is everybody?" Leia asked. "I thought you said this Lando fellow was your friend? Where is he?"

"Now, don't get all worked up, Princess," Han said, pulling out his blaster. "I'm sure he's got a good reason not to greet us. He's probably in one of those committee meetings business people are so fond of holding."

"This early in the morning?" Leia questioned.

"I think your boyfriend's afraid," Luke said with a snicker.

"I'm not afraid!" Han shot back. "Cautious. I'm cautious!"

"Oh, sure," Luke goaded. "Do you want to see a really cool weapon? Check out my lightsaber." The Junior Sith whipped out his weapon, then turned it on and waved it around, forcing Chewie to duck out of harm's way. "It's really wiz, isn't it? And it can double as a night light, too. Blasters can't double as night lights, unless you only need half a second to see something in the dark."

*He has a point,* Chewie woofed to Han.

"Yeah, poking him at the top of his helmet," Han grumbled.

Suddenly a bald man rushed out of the building, hurrying over to the group, and madly waving his arms in the air.

"Hey," Han said. "I know that guy. His name is Robot. Or Lobster. Something like that, anyway. I wonder what he wants."

"Perhaps we should ask him," Leia said sensibly.

Han grinned at the Princess. "That's what I love about you, Sweetheart...you're so smart." He turned to Chewie. "Besides being beautiful and sexy, isn't Leia the smartest person alive? And I must be smart, too, for asking her to marry me, right?"

*Don't make me hurt you,* Chewie warned his partner.

"What is the problem?" Leia asked the frantic man with the strange metal earmuffs. "Are you being attacked by tiny flying spaceships that suck your brains out through your ear canal?"

"No….no…" Lobot stuttered out. "La…La…"

"I think he's trying to sing," Luke said. "Maybe he believes we're producers from Galaxy Idol."

"No!" Lobot said, jumping up and down as he desperately tried to be understood. "Pal…pa…tine sending… st…storm…troo…pers…" Lobot marched around, stiff-legged, with his arms held rigidly at his sides.

"Huh?" Han said, scratching the top of his head. "I've never been very good at charades."

*THREEPIO!* Chewie bellowed. *Get your metal backside out here this instant!*

The two droids hurried down the ramp, and over to the group. "Yes, Furball?"

*Do not ever call me that again, or I will tear off your head,* Chewie warned, wagging his finger under Threepio's chin, then pointed at Lobot. *What is this man trying to tell us?*

Seeing a droid, Lobot smiled, and pressed a series of buttons on his earphones.

Threepio nodded, and turned to address everyone. "Lobot states that the Empire is currently in the process of sending a squadron of stormtroopers to Cloud City, and that Lando Calrissian – whoever that is – is currently missing. His bride-to-be is also missing, and Lobot fears that Honey Ba'her is not the person she claims to be. However, I feel compelled to add," Threepio inserted into his interpretation, "that in my long experience, it is true that people are more often than not more or less than they claim to be, so I am not certain how this is relevant."

"Have you looked everywhere?" Han asked Lobot.

Lobot shrugged, and looked over to Threepio, who said, "Lobot says that looking everywhere is impossible, and if it were possible, he would certainly have found Master Calrissian by now."

"We need to find Calrissian before the Imps arrive," Han declared. "Chewie, you take the droids and start searching the upper levels, and me an' Leia will look on the lower levels."

"Han," Leia said, impressed. "That's so noble and brave of you. He must be a good friend."

"Friend?" Han asked, shaking his head. "Heck, no. He owes me a hundred thousand credits for this ale, and I ain't leaving until I'm paid."

"What about me?" Luke questioned.

"Someone has to stay here and unload the ale," Han ordered. "You can do that."

"No way!" Luke objected loudly. "This is the first time in my entire life I've been on an adventure without Da… Father. Unloading crates doesn't sound like any fun at all."

"Fine. You take the droids and go looking, and Chewie can unload the ale."

*As long as Threepio isn't here whining, I'll stay and unload the ale,* Chewie woofed as he headed back inside the ship. *If I see Star Destroyers drop out of hyperspace and you're not back yet, I'm leaving without you. You can find your own way off.*

"This is so exciting," Luke said as he followed Lobot down the walkway. "What does this Lando guy look like, anyway?"

"Tall…dark skin and a mustache," Han explained. "Oh, and he wears a flashy cape."

"A cape?" Luke repeated in awe. "If I find him, do you suppose he'll give me his cape, since I lost mine?"

"Lando would love to give you his cape," Han told the young Sith. "The man is generous to a fault. Whatever you want that's his, he'll gladly give it to you."

Luke nodded. "I'm liking this guy already."


Hours later, Han was about to give up the search, since he cared more about his freedom than even money, and the Imperial troopers were certainly getting closer by the minute.

It was Leia that opened a storage room door near the carbonite freezing chamber, and gasped at what she was seeing. "Han… can you come over here?"

"I'm coming," Han said, strolling across the platform and over to the storage room, where he paused as he took in the sight of a statue of a kneeling man with his hands clasped together in a begging gesture, his lips pursed in a stony kiss. "Hey! That thing looks just like Lando. I wonder why he'd commission a statue of himself in that pose? It seems a bit demeaning, if you ask me."

Leia clicked her tongue in exasperation. "This isn't a sculpture, laser-brain. Do you see all those blinking lights on the side of the box? It appears your friend has been ironically frozen in the very carbonite his company mines."

The Corellian poked Lando's frozen eyeball with his finger. "Is he alive?"

"Well," Leia said, leaning over and inspecting the controls. "Probably. Let's press these buttons and see what happens."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Han said agreeably. "If we don't wake him up, I'll never get paid."


In the upper rooms, Luke used his lightsaber to cut open doors, and poked his head into one apartment after the other, startling dozens of people out of a year's worth of life at the unexpected appearance of the short Sith Lord. Unfortunately, not one of the frightened people resembled the missing Baron Calrissian.

At door number sixty-two, Luke was getting bored. He glanced into the room and was about to leave when he heard a soft footstep behind a potted plant. "Lando! Is that you? Han told me I could have your cape, so you'd better give it to me if you know what's good for you."

A slender red-head stepped out from her hiding place, putting one hand on her hip. "Would you look at what the trillik-cat dragged in," Mara Jade said, arching her eyebrow.

"MARA!" Luke cried out in surprise. "Why are you here?"

She shrugged. "The usual. Doing a job for the Emperor. I thought you'd be on your honeymoon by now."

"That's a long story," Luke told her. "Turns out I was engaged to my twin sister, and fortunately, she took off before we said our vows. Then, when we were chasing after her, I ran away from my father." Luke thought for a moment. "I guess it's not a long story after all."

"I didn't know you had it in you, Junior," Mara said.

"My name's not Junior. It's Luke Skywalker, and I want to marry you!"

"You what?" Mara blinked in confusion. "Marry who?"

"Uh, I mean…" Luke whipped off his helmet, shaking his head to loosen up his flattened helmet-head hair. "I have a confession to make, Mara. I'm not a Sith Lord. Father always wanted me to turn to the dark side, but I never could do it, and the only way I could escape my father's plan was by acting like an idiot. Oh, and I've always loved you from afar, too. I just never could tell you."

"Wow," Mara muttered. "That's a lot of confessions."

Luke glanced down at the floor, kicking at the rug with his toe. "I'm surprised you didn't laugh at me."

"I should confess, too," Mara said quietly. "I've hated being the Emperor's Hand. Just like you, it was something forced on me from childhood, and like you, I've found ways to get around it. I've never assassinated anyone, even though Palpatine's ordered me to. I just scared them into changing their name, or I would freeze them in carbonite." She looked up at the handsome young man, and smiled. "What are we going to do about this?"

The comlink on Luke's belt buzzed. "Kid?" Han's voice came over the small speaker. "We've found Lando, and he's ordered Cloud City to be evacuated. Get to the Falcon, because Loco says the Imps are on their way."

The former Sith grinned at Mara. "We're going to hurry to the Falcon. That's what we're going to do about it."


Luke and Mara wasted no time arriving at the docking pad, and could see that a group had already assembled under the old freighter. As they walked, Mara pointed at the Falcon. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

"You don't have to tell me," Luke replied.

Lando was busy yelling at Han, his back to the new arrivals. "I'm not paying for all that ale!" He then pointed to the unloaded crates lining the walkway. "That stuff was for my wedding, and it's obvious that Honey is no longer around to enjoy it."

"I got it here on time," Han shouted back. "A deal's a deal, Calrissian. Pay up, or I'll have Chewie toss you off the edge of this platform!"

"Hello, Lando," Mara said. "I see you survived the carbonite freezing process."

Lando whipped around, eyes wide with fear. He backed up slightly to put a safer distance between himself and his fiancée. "Honey! You're….one mean lady!" After a moment's consideration, he added, "Do you still want to marry me?"

"Not a chance, Calrissian."

Luke took Mara's arm possessively. "Her name isn't Honey. It's Mara Jade. I've known her for years, and we're getting married."

"You have my blessings," Lando sputtered out.

Luke grinned. "You were right, Han. He is generous to a fault!"

"I can't believe how cute you are under that helmet," Leia told her brother. "I'm so relieved to know that my twin brother doesn't look like an Ugnaught."

"Hey," Han objected. "Are you implying Luke's cuter than me?"

"Of course not, nerf-herder," Leia said, patting his arm. "But you have to admit, it's good to know our children won't have to wear a helmet after they're born."


Epilogue

"Just in time," Han said, pointing at the huge Star Destroyer coming out of hyperspace, which was followed closely by a Corellian shuttle.

Both Luke and Leia were sitting behind Han and Chewie inside the cockpit. The young man nodded in the direction of the shuttle. "My…our father is in that ship."

"He's still hunting for us?" Leia asked worriedly.

"Palpatine will be hunting for Mara, too," Luke pointed out, wondering how Mara was faring back in the ship's hold with Threepio and Artoo. Luke hoped she hadn't cut Threepio into pieces with her lightsaber… yet.

"So, where do we go from here?" Han questioned. "I've got lots of credits now that Lando paid up. I'm still surprised he decided to stay on Cloud City and try to use the ale to bribe the Imps, though."

"We can't go to the obvious places, like Alderaan, for a while," Leia mused thoughtfully, then snapped her fingers. "Wait a minute! I know the perfect place to go. Mustafar! We can rescue my real father, and he'll be so grateful, he won't even care that I'm going to marry a smuggler."

"Father Vader won't follow us to Mustafar," Luke added. "That place holds really bad memories for him. He hates it worse than Tatooine."

Han nodded, and set in the course coordinates. "Mustafar it is."


Inside Corran's small ship, Darth Vader roared in frustration as they watched the battered freighter make it into hyperspace. "We are too late again!"

Corran breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, we tried. I'll take you back to Coruscant, and then I'll head back to Corellia. You've probably got a lot of spies at your disposal, and I'm sure you'll get some good leads very quickly." The only response was Vader's heavy breathing through the mask. Corran coughed nervously. "Right, Sir?"

"I will find out where that scum-bum has taken my children if it's the last thing I do," Vader stated. "And I am certain that your sources through CorSec will be of great assistance. Right, Horn?"

All the fight left Corran's body and soul as he realized he would probably spend the rest of his life trying to locate Solo, the Princess and Junior. "Right, Sir."


Coruscant

"That is impossible," Palpatine rasped at the Governor as he consumed yet another glass of his favorite beverage – Tranzam Ale. The old Sith was bound and determined to destroy anyone that cut into his supply, and that goal was far more important than anything else, including those pesky Rebels.

"I beg to differ, Your Majesty," Tarkin said, keeping his head bowed low. "I am positive what I heard. Lord Vader said 'children', and I have identified the man standing next to him as Corran Horn – a CorSec officer from Corellia."

"You believe this Horn is Vader's other child?"

"There can be no other explanation, Your Majesty."

"Two sons," Palpatine mused, stroking his chin. "Oh, the possibilities…."

THE END