Chapter 44
Yes or No
Maddi
I stared at the ribbon. I had spent weeks of memorizing every detail about my future daughter and there was no doubt in my mind that this was the same ribbon. My heart was racing, my mind running a mile a minute as I tried to grasp onto something stable. Zuko... he couldn't be the father, could he? Then again he had just said he liked me... right after discovering that Jin was dead. My brain seemed determined not to function, all the logic and common sense I relied upon vanished out from under me.
"How long were you and Jin in a relationship?" Mentally I was screaming at myself for those words, of all the questions I had running around in my mind that was the one to come out? Why was I getting all silly? I had been with men before, I wasn't even a virgin so why was Zuko's statement causing me to not think straight? Zuko seemed taken aback by my question. His hand closed into a fist over my necklace.
"I went out with her twice." He admitted. Twice wasn't so bad, I tried to console myself, but the fact was that she was dead and he had told me right after wasn't exactly stellar either. I honestly didn't know what to say, all words escaped me. I reached out, tugging my necklace from his grip.
"I... I need some time to think." I told him before fleeing.
Sokka
We stared at the design that Pala drew in the dirt in silence.
"It is a good design." Bato stated firmly, "It is what we are all fighting for. A world where all four nations are in unity along with the Avatar. What do you think Aang?" It was the first time Bato had addressed Aang. I glanced at my friend. Aang had developed so much over the time we had spent together. Now he gazed at the flag and nodded.
"Its the right design." He traced it with his finger. Each element, separate but surrounded by a circle of unity placed inside an arrow just like the one he had on his forehead.
"So be it," my father stated, his voice quiet but powerful, "this is our sigil."
Maddi
"Pala?" I looked up. Katara was standing in front of me. She had been quiet and I realized that I had not talked to her alone in three days.
"Hi, I'm sorry about running off like that." I explained walking up to her. She shrugged.
"Don't worry about it. It gave me an excuse to leave and work on my project." She replied with a small smile.
"Your... project?" I questioned. I hadn't been aware that Katara had found something to do here. I needed to talk to my friend, badly, I realized. She nodded her small smile growing.
"Yeah, I had Toph help out, she complained for a bit of course, mostly though she's been spending time with the soldiers, she's good at boosting moral whenever it gets low. Although I don't always approve of her methods." Katara admitted causing me to laugh. I had been so occupied by fear and guilt I had cut myself off from my friends. I wasn't going to do that again.
"How about you come with me, I could always use the extra hands. And I've discovered work is a good way to get something off your mind." I blinked and really looked at Katara. I hadn't realized she had grown so wise. She had really grown into herself. Looking closer I realized that she was wearing a much shorter dress then usual, this one only reached her knees and had no sleeves on it at all, and her hair had been secured into a single braid under her 'hair loopy bun'.
"Okay so what is this 'project' of yours." I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. Besides I needed something to do while I thought about what just had happened. Katara grinned, grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me away. We were no longer camped out at the beach and the camp had expanded. Earthbenders had changed the tents into stone huts and given the camp walls, despite that we could still be up and ready to go in less then fifteen minutes. The perks of having benders in our midst. Katara dragged me to one particularly large building. It was the largest building I had seen in camp. Katara didn't stop at the outside, instead rushing in. Inside the place was row upon row of cots. My stomach dropped. An infirmary. I knew that it wasn't the same but I had no good memories of hospitals, not that many people did, but I really didn't want to be around one. But I had asked and now I had to go through with this.
"This is my project. Yue is sending over twenty water tribe healers to work here along with her warriors. I wanted to help in my own way..." she gestured around her. We hadn't faced a battle yet but it was only a matter of time before we did and then these bed would be filled with injured and dying people. Katara excitedly dragged me around. I had to admit it was a very advanced hospital for the time period we were in, including an entirely separate section for the sick.
"Shouldn't you completely isolate the sick so that they don't cross contaminate? If someone gets I'll with a second illness they might not be able to fight off either and the illness might mutate into one superbug." I pointed out. Katara's eyes widened.
"Is that possible?" I nodded. It was completely possible to get two illnesses at the same time and superbugs did exist. I could almost see Katara making a mental note on that before she grabbed my wrist again to show me all her healing supplies. It was a huge room full of herbs, plants, pastes, liquids and various charms and talismans. I listened as the fourteen year old bustled about, telling me of what each did and how it worked. I wasn't the largest fan of talismans but I recognized it as part of their culture also I was in a world with bending a spirits who was I to comment on talismans?
Katara and I ended up chatting about healing techniques and she was very interested in the modern day concept of vaccines.
"What would you do if someone… someone said they liked you?" I heard myself ask suddenly. Turning Katara raised an eyebrow.
"Who said that?" She asked, a twinkle in her eyes.
"It's hypothetical," I replied quickly. Katara sent me a look as if asking me how stupid I thought she was but didn't push the question.
"There's no one good answer Maddi, each person reacts to something like that differently." I sighed, taking a seat on one of the cots at her response.
"I know… I've never been the best at relationships but I know that." I stated. Katara gave me a strange look.
"I thought you had relationships before."
"I did," I agreed, "but there is a difference between having relationships and being successful in relationships. The only relationship I did well at was with my previous boyfriend, Joe. Besides, we're heading towards war, how can I have a relationship? Let alone with someone who already is going to married to someone else." Katara blinked in shock at my words before speaking.
"You know that this person is going to get married?" She gaped. "Then why get involved at all?"
"Its complicated... the series never states that he is actually married to her but it is highly suggested and he has a kid and-"
"You're talking too far in the future. Just answer this. Does he marry another woman or not."
"It never directly says he married her." I finally agreed. Still images of Zuko and Mai flashed before my eyes.
"Then why couldn't he have married you?" I jerked in shock as Katara leaned back.
"The world has changed dramatically since you came here, who is to say that it didn't change the destiny of who marries whom?" Katara proposed. I bit my lip.
"You know for someone who claims that she can't rely on her future knowledge any more you still seem to be doing just that... a lot." I groaned at Katara's words. She was right but I wasn't ready to admit that. I wasn't ready to. A strange feeling stirred in my chest. I realized suddenly that I wanted to.
"Katara, you remember my daughter right?" The blue eyed waterbender nodded, confusion lining her brow.
"Of course, you told me about her... quite a lot actually." I chuckled at her words before with a sigh holding out the necklace.
"Zuko fixed it, he gave it the new ribbon..."
"And because of that you think he's your daughter's father?" Katara grimaced, "I thought I would get used to saying strange things like that... its still strange though." I laughed at her words.
"How do you think I felt? I mean I remember fawning over Zuko on the other side of the screen and cheering you guys on even though I knew that would happen and then suddenly, here I am on the opposite side, the side I never thought I would be on... And then I'm changing everything and dealing with matter so far above me... it's crazy." I sighed.
"I'm scared, Katara, I know I shouldn't rely on my knowledge anymore but... I can't help it. If I don't I won't be of use to anyone and I can't be useless and then-"
"You're rambling again." Katara laughed, poking me in the shoulder. I snapped my mouth closed and sighed.
"Its just confusing."
"Do it anyway." I blinked and glanced at Katara who gazed down on me, determined.
"Don't let what is supposed to happen guide you. You make your own decisions. If you want to get into a relationship that's your choice. No one else should tell you what to do."
"Katara?" I asked, smiling slightly at her words.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Iroh
I walked up to Chief Hakoda. The man was staring out over the land. I allowed a small smile to cross my features. Looking for water. For him water would be a comfort, something familiar. Despite years of traveling over water it had never been something I had been able to feel at home at. At peace, yes, home never.
"Chieftain, may I speak with you?" The man turned and nodded, putting down the box he had been prying open.
"Of course General, what can I help you with?" The blue eyed man asked pleasantly. I sighed and sat down on one of the closed boxes.
"There is an old saying, it is impossible to defeat a united enemy that attacks from two places."
"I have a sense that this is more than a proverb." Hakoda sighed, turning to look at me in the eyes.
"I think that it is time that we put my brother on the defensive. Create a second force on fire nation soil." I stated calmly. With Hakoda I had realized that I needed to be direct. He was not a man who minced his words and as such I needed to do the same.
"That force is this?"
"A force created out of the fire nation people. Many are just as oppressed as the earth kingdom cities with their children being stolen. Many would flock to a call of hope, the call of hope that my nephew and the avatar can give." Hakoda jerked and turned to look at me with cool blue eyes.
"If you plan to sent the avatar onto fire nation soil you are well aware that my children will follow him, my daughter and I are still not on speaking terms and this is the first time in years that I have seen my son." He looked furious, not that I blamed him, I was suggesting that he send his own children into the heart of the enemy. But I knew that strategically my plan was sound. It was emotion that would cause problems. Also I needed to send Zuko there for another reason, one that both he and the avatar would benefit from.
"This is a war, everyone must make sacrifices for the peace." I pointed out with a heavy heart. It wasn't that I wanted but it was what was best.
"What is to stop your brother from turning his troops to attack them? Aang and Zuko are two of the most wanted in the fire nation."
"The fire nation's situation is... volatile," I explained, "if my brother was to set up troops in his own land, to watch his people, there would be a civil war. He is intelligent enough to avoid such a situation. I believe that we should create a small group to travel with them. Large enough to protect each other but small enough to go mainly unnoticed. No more then fifteen, no less then eight." I could see Hakoda didn't like my plan but he knew that I was right.
"Let me talk to my counsel before any more talk." He stated softly. He looked worn and that in itself made me feel the same. We were both tired but we would not be finished for some time.
I had some old friends to contact.
Maddi
I walked to the training ground quietly, my mind heavy in thought. One of the soldiers had told me that Zuko was training there when I had asked. As I entered the training grounds I noticed Su Sen, Zuko, and Sokka working together to create a battle scenario for the soldiers. I felt a smile tug at my lips. It made sense that those three would become best friends in a matter of days. Zuko was fierce, serious, and kind; Sokka self-sacrificing, a joker, and someone who would always have the backs of others. Su Sen was the happy medium between the two.
My appearance at the training grounds did not go unnoticed. Several warriors stopped their battles to stare at me in unabashed amazement. Really, I wasn't that hard to come by in this camp, I though irritably, there is no need to stare.
"Pala? What are you doing here?" Sokka asked, turning to look at what all the men were gaping at.
"I wanted to talk to Zuko." I replied. Zuko jerked as if stung. Su Sen and Sokka though looked interested before dragging their attention back to the men they were working with. Zuko and I stood facing each other for a time, not saying a word. I was the first to break.
"I don't want to talk in front of all these people, let's go somewhere quieter."
Zuko nodded and the two of us wandered away. Ducking into an empty tent I turned to him. Biting my lip hard I made my choice. Blunt was best.
"I need to know why you told me that... that after you found out Jin was dead." I stated. My heart was beating hard, the answer given would determine my answer to his question. Zuko was silent. His eyes were serious but finally he admitted in a low voice.
"I don't know. It... I don't know." Anger flooded through my system but I suppressed it tightly. I could feel it leek out slowly as I spoke. My voice cold.
"You don't know? What you just discovered that your ex died and you move on to the next?"
"That's not what I meant." Zuko hissed, anger filling his eyes, twisting the skin around his face. In particular the melted skin around his eye, it looked painful.
"Then what did you mean?" I retorted.
"I only went out with Jin twice." He replied. As if that was an excuse? This was frustrating, infuriating. I had wanted one clean cut answer but real life didn't come with those. I should have known that by now.
"I only have your word for that." That was the last line for Zuko, he snapped. Striding forwards he crossed the little distance between us in one step. Grabbing my wrists he stared at me. We stood eye to eye.
"Do you know why I only went out with her twice?" He continued as if nothing else had happened, "Because I wanted you." My heart stopped. I couldn't think, couldn't move. All I could do was look at his eyes and gape out one thin word.
"What?" He let go of my wrists and took a step back.
"Ever since that day on Kyoshi island I... I haven't been able to get you out of my head. At first I hated you for it but... you grew one me." He looked away, suddenly unsure.
"I began to want to see myself, like you see me, as a person who carried promise. Until I wasn't just a banished prince who messed up everything. That... that changed me more than anything anyone else has ever done. I began to see myself as someone worthwhile. And later when I was with Jin. It was nice but... I kept wondering what it would be like it it was you on the other side of that table. It wasn't fair to her so I broke it off."
My heart was in my throat. What was it with me ending up in the longest relationships with men who instinctively knew how to play me? All my relationships that lasted more than a year was with someone who could say a few sentences and have me completely wrapped around his little finger. I was the girl, wasn't it supposed to be the other way around? Zuko took my stunned silence as permission to continue on and that was just what he did.
"When I heard that Jin was dead it upset me, but it also made me realize that I had to let you know how I felt because... Because I needed to know how you would feel... because one of us could die out here and I couldn't..." He stumbled. I could tell he was fumbling for the right words.
"You couldn't die without knowing." I stated softly. My choice was made. No more relying upon knowledge unless it was needed.
"Zuko... my answer. It's yes."
A/N: Hi people, I'm sorry for updating so late. I wish I could give an excuse but really it was a mixture of writers block, family troubles, and having absolutely no ability to track time. Still, I just want to say I'm sorry and rejoice because finally the couple are together and we're about to see some action. Don't worry this story will never be abandoned, no matter how long it may take me to complete.
Thank you for your patience and understanding,
Princess Kassie Out.
