10:08 P.M. – W.O.O.H.P. Headquarters, Containment Facility
He looked around at the other prisoners that surrounded him as the guards continued to make their rounds.
"I just need a good plan once I make my escape," Jazz Hands stated. "But how do I go about that?"
Making sure to stay quiet when the guard walked by his cell, Jazz Hands began to brainstorm possible ideas for schemes.
But then, he heard something interesting among the whispers of the other nearby prisoners. Some of them seemed to be about Sam, and that immediately got under his skin, knowing how she'd bamboozled him with that "Miss Spirit Fingers" persona.
"Ah, that would be a good place to start," Jazz Hands chuckled. "She'll pay for fooling me so easily."
Then, he heard a very interesting fact.
Apparently, Sam had a boyfriend now.
Already, Jazz Hands was formulating a wicked plan to take his revenge on Sam.
"Don't try anything, mister mime," a guard proclaimed as he walked by. "We're on to you, after all."
"Wouldn't dream of it, mister guard," Jazz Hands replied rather insincerely. As the guard walked away, however...
"You won't see this plan coming, I assure you."
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
(The pages constantly turn, no matter how long the reader takes. When one story ends, another story will inevitably start. In the end, there is only a new beginning.)
Mat49324 and The Blue Time Ranger are proud to present:
Totally Spies!: Mime Your Manners
Story Rated: T for Teen
Story Created: January 18th, 2021
Story Summary: The thirtieth joint project between Mat49324 and The Blue Time Ranger, collectively known as Totally Spies: The New Adventures. Surprise, surprise, yet another of the spies' rogues gallery has returned for a shot at revengeance. This time, it's Jazz Hands, furious with Sam for fooling him with the whole "Miss Spirit Fingers" shtick. But when he hears through the villain grapevine that Sam has a boyfriend, he spy-naps Mat in order to force Sam to abandon W.O.O.H.P. and start a new life with him. Naturally, that ain't gonna fly, so the spies mount a rescue operation, tearing through multiple mimes and other related henchmen in order to save Mat. Can Sam prove she truly loves Mat before it's too late?
Author's Note from Mat49324: And here we go with #30 of our projects together and episode 4 of Totally Spies The New Adventures. After just coming off a great one in Carnival Crashers, we're set for another run with the 14 spies (again, I'll say that I didn't expect the team to jump up to 14). This features another former villain from S4 and S5, Jazz Hands. We certainly hope you enjoy this new episode, which will bring back a certain someone's alter-ego (think S5's 3-parter Jazz Hands Return). Needless to say, someone's going to be faced with a big decision here. Oh, and in case some of you may be wondering, we WILL have the spies go back to Mali-U later in this season since this season will not be the entire summer only.
Author's Note from The Blue Time Ranger: We have reached the big 3-0! That's certainly an impressive number, to be honest, and we've still got more bangers coming up this season! So, I won't bore you with visions of the future (for the moment), let's just focus on the now! ROLL IT!
And Now, the Obligatory Disclaimer: Mat49324 and I do not own anything related to Totally Spies or any of its affiliations. It belongs solely to Marathon Media Group, Image Entertainment Corporation, Vincent Chalvon-Demersay, and David Michel. The only things of this story we DO own are any characters created by us truly for the story (in this case, Nick, Haruka, Bridget, May, Nozomi, Dawn, and Melissa on my side, and Mathew on his side). Any characters or things we don't own, we are just borrowing with no intent of copyright infringement, only for the entertainment of our readers. Besides, if we did own Totally Spies, which we don't, why would we be writing fiction on a fan site?
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Episode 1: The Silent March
1:53 P.M. – The Spies' Beach House
It was another Saturday summer morning and the spies were enjoying yet another pool day – well, some anyway. Sam, Mat, and Britney were having fun in the pool; Clover, Melissa, and Dawn were also outside at the pool getting a tan.
"So, who won the Brawl game again?" Clover asked Melissa and Dawn. "I could hear you both Smashing after I woke up this morning."
"Ooh, man, it was a close game," Melissa proclaimed. "But I came out on top once again!"
"Only because you kept spamming that stupid needle throw with Sheik!" Dawn exclaimed.
"Hey, all's fair in love and Smash," Melissa laughed.
Sam, Mat, and Britney didn't listen much to that conversation since they were involved in a romantic threesome (clean, of course since they all had their swimsuits on – Sam her usual green suit, and Britney in a blue two-piece). They'd been in the pool for at least two hours.
"I think your race is pretty soon, Mat," Clover told Mat from the pool deck when she checked her watch.
"Yeah, you're right," Mat replied when he got out of the pool and checked his watch.
"What's happening now, Mat?" Melissa wondered.
"Well, Budds Creek is the current race," Mat explained. "I'll let the program speak for itself. Only three races remain in Carmichael's part-time season. I should probably go in and get things set."
Sam and Britney looked on with grins at Mat as he got his towel. After drying off, Mat got his red Motocross shirt on. It was red and read "Voss 13" on the back, which signified 2004 World Supercross champ Heath Voss. He then went inside to the den to occupy the TV.
Simultaneously, Nick was watching yet another car wash and water hose fight between two of the spies.
"Not the nose, not the nose!" Bridget exclaimed as she jumped away from Alex, who was aiming straight for her.
However, Alex had anticipated that and started blasting the hose towards Bridget's feet, forcing her to hop around.
"Dance, my little puppet, dance!" Alex cackled.
"This is still trippy," Nick admitted.
Calling the race were former MX commentator Brian Drebber, and 4-time Motocross champ Jeff Emig.
Brian: As usual, the banner headlines read "Ricky Carmichael Vs. James Stewart" today, but there's a little something extra in the story.
Jeff: And that "something extra" is that Ricky is going for his 100th overall win in Motocross competition, which is unbelievable! It's hard to fathom...
"100 wins?!" Melissa chastised.
Nick was nearby and he overheard Melissa's shocked statement.
"I'm shocked, too," Nick told the others when they saw the graphic on the TV that said that Carmichael has 99 Motocross wins.
"That's why it's nearly impossible to beat Ricky outdoors straight-up," Mat quipped.
Melissa and Dawn noticed an inquiring smile on Nick's face.
"Oh, let me guess," Dawn chuckled. "You caught sight of another water hose fight again?"
"Between Haruka and Bridget?" Melissa added.
"Water hose fight, yes," Nick laughed. "Haruka and Bridget, no."
Bridget was one of the washers... but the second one was Alex instead; they were both in two-pieces. They were pretty wet, too and they had towels around their shoulders.
"That was mean, Alex," Bridget teased.
"Hey, I saw an opportunity, and I pounced on it," Alex laughed. "I'm sure that's what you'd do in that situation, right?"
"...okay, point," Bridget laughed. "I admit they're fun."
During an interview from pit reporter Erin Bates to Suzuki's Ricky Carmichael, Carmichael had brought up that he won his 100th win in AMA Supercross/Motocross combined in 2004.
During the first moto highlights, Kawasaki's James Stewart had won the first moto after Carmichael made some mistakes of his own, including discarding his goggles due to a rock being spat up and popping the lens out of his goggles.
"Well, since you race twice, a 2nd in moto 1 is just as good as a 1st place because whomever finishes higher in the 2nd moto gets the nod," Mat explained.
When the second moto began, Stewart pulled the holeshot with Carmichael right behind him in 2nd place.
"What's happening now?" May asked.
"Budds Creek Motocross today," Mat answered. "And Ricky Carmichael's going for his 100th Motocross win alone."
"That's unbelievable!" Alex exclaimed.
"What's going on?" Haruka asked, coming into view with Nozomi, May, and Klee.
They were then told of Carmichael going for his 100th Motocross win alone.
"Wow, that would be quite the feather in his cap," Nozomi quipped.
"No kidding," May stated.
"He must have been racing for quite a while," Klee responded.
Alex looked on and noticed Yamaha's Chad Reed was out there racing, but was down in the 20s – 22nd place to be exact. "Hey, that Reed guy's out there!"
"Yeah, but it's just in tune for the 2007 Motocross of Nations," Mat replied. "Reed isn't really known for Motocross though, so I'm not worried about it. THAT is Carmichael's official last race – save for round 9 at Millville, MN."
It wasn't until about halfway through the moto when Carmichael tried to pass Stewart, but Stewart sent Carmichael wide and briefly off the track.
"Oh, here we go..." May remarked, almost getting excited as Mat was.
Brian: He gets pushed wide and out of bounds right there, but gained no advantage, so he won't be penalized, but it sure cost him a little bit as he got pushed wide in that turn.
Jeff: Carmichael ALMOST had the move there...
"Oh wow, this is a major test for Stewart," Mat replied.
"Can he beat Carmichael?" Clover asked.
"Who's who?" Klee asked.
Her question was already answered when she saw the back of Stewart and Carmichael's jerseys, and the 4 was on Carmichael, and 7 was on Stewart.
"In my book, Carmichael hasn't been beaten straight up since Kevin Windham did so at Washougal 2001," Mat told the others. "At the time, both guys were on 250 2-strokes, and Windham managed to pass Carmichael in both motos."
Meanwhile, as the 2nd moto continued on, Stewart was still leading with Carmichael making multiple attempts to take the lead. Stewart still weathered every challenge. A few laps later, the two leaders caught up to some lapped riders.
Jeff: ...This is where Carmichael has been so fast. He's making huge jumps right here. Pulling up besides James Stewart lap after lap in the same spot, but he hasn't found a line where he can make it work exiting the turn.
Brian: Until NOW! He draws up even, but Stewart still holds him off and gets to the left hander first!
Mat was breathing at this chess match brewing between Stewart and Carmichael. Would Carmichael win his 100th Motocross race... or would James Stewart FINALLY beat Carmichael straight up for the first time?
Sam and Britney definitely noticed how tense Mat seemed, scooting a little closer to him.
A couple laps later, Carmichael pulled up on Stewart again.
Brian: Gets up alongside... together over the jump, Carmichael draws even... maybe a little bit ahead... Stewart is there, but that right-hander. Now here's where Carmichael has been trying to get it done!
Two corners later, Carmichael FINALLY got around Stewart before the mechanics' area.
"GOT HIM!" Mat exclaimed.
Jeff: Unbelievable effort by Ricky Carmichael – our 10-time Motocross champion – just going inside, outside... really putting on a burst of effort and energy here trying to achieve his 100th Motocross win of his career!
"THAT is why you don't mess with Ricky outdoors!" Mat emphasized.
"I hear ya, bro," Nick commented. "And I thought Michael Jordan was a beast, too!"
"Give him a chance to get going, and he's gone," Nozomi laughed.
"Nothing but the truth there!" Bridget exclaimed.
"I'm almost scared to ask his overall record," May stated.
"I think it's 99-25," Mat replied, doing a little math in his head. "26 125cc wins, 73 250/450cc wins."
"I'm stunned!" Haruka exclaimed. "And pretty soon, it'll be 100-25 if Carmichael keeps it steady..."
As soon as Carmichael got around Stewart, he went unchallenged for the rest of the race – even high-fiving some fans on the side on the final lap.
Jeff: And a lot of people ask Ricky why he's retiring, he's still relatively young, he's still at the top of his game... The reason is that the amount of dedication that he has to put into this and how he has his racing program. He just feels that he CANNOT keep doing this year after year at this pace AND he's not going to disrespect any of his past accomplishments by slowing down a little bit. So, he figured that's why he's just going to go out on top here, give it his very best effort and we all have to be so proud of him and he is so inspirational for all motorsports and athletes in general.
"As much as I hate to see Ricky go, it's understanding in my book," Mat told the others. "He's 27 FTR."
"Sometimes it's best to go out when you're on top," Haruka quipped.
"Keep your record while you've still got it," Nick responded.
Brian: Ricky Carmichael has done it! Win #100 will go in the books with this one here! There's the checkered flag! Carmichael has accomplished something no one in the two-wheeled sport has ever done before: 100 wins in the premier class of competition!
"I said it before, I'll say it again..." Mat chuckled. "And you wonder why this guy's going into retirement..."
"Tell me about it!" Clover remarked.
"Totally!" May exclaimed. "It wasn't that long ago you were stunned he lapped the whole field in one race, too, Mat!"
"I'll say," Melissa commented. "100 wins is just as mind-blowing!"
"And that includes THREE perfect seasons, 26 125cc wins, and at least 8 wins every full season!" Mat exclaimed.
"That's domination for sure," Nick commented.
The spies were surprised again during James Stewart's 2nd place interview that he was sick to his stomach between motos and had rode the 2nd moto on an empty stomach.
James: I don't know what happened. During that first moto sitting on the gate, I just started getting really sick and went in between motos, and... everything came up. I tried drinking something... of course, you can't get IVs. I rode my best...
Mat was grinning widely that Stewart couldn't beat Carmichael AGAIN, and Carmichael could go for wins 101 and 102 at Red Bud and Millville to make it an even 150 career AMA Supercross/Motocross wins combined as the program came to a close.
Naturally, Sam and Britney both hugged Mat, happy that he was happy.
"What was that Stewart said about getting IVs?" Bridget asked.
"Oh, that rule came to existence after 1994," Mat answered. "Doug Henry won the 125cc Motocross title, but he was suffering from a stomach illness and began getting IVs between motos and got better – a move the competition didn't like."
Just then, two beeps were heard, and Nick immediately knew that was Jerry summoning them. Nick formed his psychic bubble and the spies fell down the W.O.O.H.P. tunnel.
"You'll have to do better than that, Jer," Nick teased.
"What do we got?" Klee asked.
RiCO materialized in the room and waved her hands to switch the images on the office viewscreen. "I'm sure you've heard this one quite a few times before, but we've got another villain on the loose," RiCO proclaimed. "And he looks like quite the screwball, if you ask me."
RiCO changed the picture to show a mugshot of one Jazz Hands.
"It's... a mime?" Klee asked.
"Oh, lordy, not Jazz Hands again," Sam groaned. "I was hoping we'd never run into mister mime again..."
"We tend to say that about a lot of our rogues' gallery, right, Sammy?" Alex laughed.
"...okay, point," Sam conceded.
"What's he up to this time?" Nick asked.
"We're not entirely sure yet, besides the obvious goal of revenge," Jerry answered. "But it's your mission to find out what, and bring him down once again."
"That was always the plan, Jerry," Clover stated as RiCO led the spies to their gadgets for this mission.
"I've said it before, but I'll say it again," Klee proclaimed. "You all have quite a strange collection of villains."
"It comes with the territory, honestly," Sam answered. "Remember the first bad guy we ever fought as W.O.O.H.P. agents?"
"You mean Fabu?" Alex quipped. "Oof, I was trying to forget that nutball's existence..."
"Wait, you mean the one who literally wanted to destroy the Earth because he failed at his fashion career?" Bridget wondered. "Yikes, that guy seems ultra-petty..."
"You don't know the half of it," Clover sighed.
3:14 P.M. – Somewhere in Beverly Hills
("Bully" by Megan McDuffee plays)
"All right, now, if I were a creepy French mime, where would I be?" May quipped as the spies began their search for Jazz Hands. "...oof, that's a sentence I never thought I'd hear myself say."
"I'm sure he'll find us in due time," Mat responded. "That's usually how these ones do business."
"Any luck, Nick?" Alex asked.
Nick was currently using his psychic radar to scan the area for any sign of Jazz Hands or a possible ambush by his henchmen.
"Nothing at the moment," Nick replied. "But I'm pretty sure it won't be much longer before they come a-knockin'."
"Guys, what if he's going after Sammy?" Clover wondered. "After all, she bamboozled him with that whole 'Miss Spirit Fingers' thing, and he's probably uber-ticked off about it."
"Oh, crapbaskets, I didn't even think about that," Britney admitted.
"That mime paint must have gotten in his eyes if he thinks he's putting even one of those greasy clown hands on my Sammy," Mat growled, pulling Sam into a protective embrace.
"...huh. That's an image," May quipped.
"Hey, as long as we're here, he's not gonna even touch Sam," Nick proclaimed, his hands surrounded with golden light. "I promise you that, Mat."
"Thanks, bro," Mat replied, fist-bumping Nick.
As the group continued to search for Jazz Hands, Klee couldn't help but smile at the spies. She had definitely made the right choice in asking them for assistance in finding whatever she was looking for, even if she still didn't remember exactly what she was trying to find.
But her memories were coming back piece by piece, so hopefully it wouldn't be much longer before she remembered why she was here and what she was looking for.
Just then, Nick tensed up, which most likely meant something suspicious was nearby.
"Something wicked this way comes?" May asked, using her Emergency Gadget Transporter to summon her anchor to her hands.
"Lots of it," Nick replied. "I'm sensing at least fifteen people approaching us, and they've all got pain on their minds."
And sure enough, a gaggle of mimes burst from the bushes nearby, all led by the French mime artist himself, Jazz Hands.
"Should have figured you'd try to ambush us," Mat proclaimed.
"Ah, rule sixteen, if you will," Jazz Hands laughed.
"How about we stop comparing the rules for villains and just get down to business?!" Nick shouted, his aura flaring to life around him.
"If you insist," Jazz Hands proclaimed, gesturing to the spies so that his army of mimes all leaped towards them at once.
Nick solved that problem by throwing his hands outwards and unleashing a psychic pulse around him that knocked all of the mimes away from them.
"Try again for a quarter?" Nick laughed.
Jazz Hands simply brought out a very familiar-looking accordion and began to play it.
"Oh, not that stupid thing again!" Clover proclaimed.
A rather large laser blast fired from the accordion towards Haruka, but Nick was there in a flash, waving his hand to project a psychic barrier that blocked the blast.
"Thanks, Nick," Haruka quipped. "I am not ready to experience mime-hood."
"You are very slippery, non?" Jazz Hands laughed.
"Mimes aren't for everybody," Nick responded, his right hand glowing a bright neon-green. "Especially not us! FINAL SHINE ATTACK!"
As Jazz Hands fired another laser from his accordion, Nick unleashed a blast of bright neon-green energy that dispelled the smaller blast and destroyed Jazz Hands' accordion.
"You're not touching Sam as long as we're still here, got it?!" Nick proclaimed.
Before Nick could move in to attack, a scream caught his attention...
...but it didn't come from Sam.
"Oh, who said I was going after her?" Jazz Hands chuckled.
It turned out that three of the mimes had snatched Mat while everyone else had been distracted with Jazz Hands.
"Oh, don't you even!" Nick shouted, but another mime threw down a flashbang that swallowed the entire area in a massive flash of light.
When it cleared, both the mime army and Jazz Hands had escaped, Mat with them.
"Did... did they just...?!" Bridget gasped.
"I'm afraid they did," Haruka groaned.
Sam and Britney were obviously the most devastated, considering that their boyfriend had just been kidnapped.
"Hey, you two, you don't have a thing to worry about," May proclaimed. "Mister mime definitely isn't going to get away with what he just did. And trust me, when we find Jazz Hands, he's getting an anchor to the face."
"What should we do in the meantime?" Klee asked.
"Let's get back to W.O.O.H.P. and see if we can figure out what he wants with Mat," Sam proclaimed. "Because when we find Jazz Hands, I swear I'm going to shove my high heels so far up his f..."
"Get in line, Sam," Britney stated. "I want to shove something up his keester, too. Mat's as much my boyfriend as he is yours, and I do not take this kind of thing lightly."
"Well said, Brit!" Alex proclaimed. "Let's haul butt back to W.O.O.H.P. so we can figure out a way to get Mat back!"
"We can start with this..." Haruka proclaimed, finding a clue on the ground.
"Where'd this come from?" Bridget asked.
It looked like a part of a map of Jazz Hands' hideout because it was a part of a building.
"Hopefully Jerry and RiCO can identify this building or at least where to go," Britney stated.
With that, the spies retreated to W.O.O.H.P. to update Jerry.
4:02 P.M. – W.O.O.H.P. Headquarters
"Oh, dear!" Jerry exclaimed when the spies told him that Jazz Hands had spy-napped Mat.
"And all they unknowingly left behind was this scrap of a map," Haruka added as Britney handed Jerry that map piece. Jerry tinkered with his computer to get a read on the map.
"Anything, Jer?" Sam asked worriedly.
"It appears this is a map of the old theme park that he once built," Jerry answered.
"Figures he'd be there," Nick quipped. "Even if there's no more theme park, he's probably got some kind of lair there."
"Then off we go!" Britney proclaimed. "That Jazz Hands is gonna pay dearly for snatching our boyfriend." She then looked at Sam.
"No doubt," Sam remarked.
"Hold on, spies," RiCO stated, coming into view. "I'm currently picking up signs of a message from Jazz Hands as we speak!"
"Good eye, RiCO," Jerry quipped.
"No doubt it's anything good," Nick pointed out.
It took a little while, but RiCO was able to help get the message on the viewscreen.
"Don't think I've forgotten about your Miss Spirit Fingers alter ego, Sam," Jazz Hands angrily started.
"No question he was gonna bring this up," Clover groaned.
Jazz Hands gave a sinister sneer and turned to the side to see Mat was stuck to a pole and rather exhausted. Needless to say, Britney and Sam were REALLY angry at seeing this.
"Now, you will do what I say," Jazz Hands proclaimed. "You abandon W.O.O.H.P. and go back to Miss Spirit Fingers, and I let your little boy toy go, or... you can watch your little boy toy... PERISH!"
Jazz Hands just cackled maniacally after that last statement. To make matters worse, one of Jazz Hands' henchmen looked strangely familiar to Sam, but she couldn't put her finger on whom it could be. She didn't get a chance to because the message cut out.
"No way we're gonna let either happen!" Alex exclaimed.
"Uh-huh," Blaine remarked.
"I definitely don't want to have that Budds Creek race be Mat's last moment of glory as a motocross fan," Nick replied. "Especially after we saw how heartbroken he was after the Vegas race!"
"If that Carmichael guy can earn 100 wins in 10 or 11 years in Motocross, we can save our Mat-honey," Sam exclaimed.
Jerry looked impressed at hearing what the spies were up to prior to being WOOHPed.
"I think the bigger question is... what does Jazz Hands want Mat for?" Nozomi wondered.
"Search me..." Dawn replied.
"I'm still scratching my head to that as well," Melissa replied. "Mat's got no history with Jazz Hands like Sam, Clover, and Alex do."
"Especially when we first heard of him after Alex was being a blabbermouth..." Clover stated and even gave a dirty look to Alex.
Sam remembered that moment, too.
"Guesses, anyone?" Nick asked.
"I don't think Jazz Hands even knew who Mat was before this," Bridget quipped.
"I'm willing to bet he probably heard some chatter from other villains about Sam having a boyfriend," May stated. "That's really the only thing that makes sense as to why he'd take Mat and not Sam, especially after what she did to Jazz Hands before."
"Okay, grudges aside, we better save Mat!" Alex exclaimed.
"I've sent the coordinates to your X-Powders," RiCO told the spies before they ran out. "And cell phone in Blaine's case."
"Thanks, RiCO," Blaine exclaimed.
Meanwhile...
Jazz Hands just sneered as he looked at the trapped Mat. One of his other henchmen came towards him. It was the same one that Sam thought looked familiar to her.
"I can't thank you enough for telling me about this troublemaker in Sam's corner," Jazz Hands told the other henchman.
"It was my pleasure," the other henchman replied. "I went after their moms before, and that didn't work..."
Mat had just come around and heard that henchman's tone and immediately recognized it was James of all people!
Simultaneously, everyone heard the front doors swing open and see Sam and Britney leading the charge with toad-like looks on their faces.
"So, the spy group finally showed," Jazz Hands sneered.
"You don't wanna know HOW many lines you've crossed, pal!" Sam growled. "Mat's MY boyfriend and the one boy who truly loves me the right way!"
"Funny you should mention that," Jazz Hands remarked and motioned his hand to his second-in-command.
Sam got a look and her suspicions were confirmed... James! "Seriously..." Sam growled again. "HIM?!"
"Who's that?" Klee wondered.
"The one boy who used Sam to steal an invisibility formula," Alex told Klee.
"Do I have your answer, Miss Spirit Fingers?" Jazz Hands sneered.
"Do you really need to ask me that question, you washed-up mime artist?!" Sam growled. "I don't know how many times I have to brick this into your skulls, but here it is again: Mat is the only man for me, and you two can go screw all the way off!"
"Way to tell 'em off, Sammy!" Alex exclaimed.
"Oh, well, isn't that just too bad," James cackled. "Because you know what we're going to do to your little Hawaiian dish, right?"
"Wrong," Nick proclaimed, blasting James backwards with a Final Shine Attack, then firing another blast to knock Jazz Hands over before flying up to the pole Mat was currently chained to and firing a few precise shots to break the chains and free him.
"Thanks for the impromptu rescue, bro," Mat quipped. "I definitely did not want to see James' ugly mug again."
"Well, I'm actually all right with that, because it means I get to kick his ass six ways from Sunday again," Nick cackled as he brought Mat back to ground level.
Naturally, Sam and Britney were immediately all over their boyfriend, hugging him tightly.
"Are you okay, honey?" Sam asked.
"Still in one piece," Mat replied. "Like I'd be intimidated by this nutball, especially after the last time we fought him."
James began sauntering forward, putting on a "handsome" face (that the spies thought looked more like "smug a-hole", in Bridget's words) and attempting to turn on the charm.
"Come on, Sam, why do we have to keep facilitating this pointless little runaround?" James laughed. "It's really not getting us anywhere, is it? You know your rightful place is at my side, as my beautiful queen. I still have absolutely no idea what you see in this little brat, but I guess I really don't have to."
James stopped in front of Sam and extended his hand. "So, what do you say, Sam? Why don't we just put an end to this and come be with a real man?"
Sam's response was instant, snapping her foot upwards to kick James between his legs. Naturally, while James was reeling, Mat rushed in and struck James with a flying kick to the side of his face, and Britney continued the combo with a snap kick to James' gut.
"That was definitely well deserved," May stated. "...is it weird that I'm enjoying this?"
"Hey, we all wanna stomp on this creep-a-tronic," Melissa admitted. "If you're a bit weird for enjoying it, then so are we."
"Did you all forget I was here?" Jazz Hands proclaimed, aiming another accordion weapon for the spies. "You really should pay more attention, you know."
Jazz Hands gasped in surprise when his accordion was quickly yanked out of his hands and tossed unceremoniously into a nearby wall thanks to Nick's psychic hold.
"Sorry, but that oldie's not gonna work on us again," Nick taunted. "Seriously, get a new shtick already."
Jazz Hands rushed forward to attack, only to jump over Nick before he could counter and grab Klee.
"Hey, let her go, mime boy!" May shouted.
"Ah-ah," Jazz Hands cackled. "One false move and this little girl is going to be a silent mime for the rest of her life. And I don't think you want that, do you?"
"Excuse me, but I'm sixteen," Klee responded. "And I'm not having any of this hostage nonsense, thank you very much!"
Klee wrenched one of her arms out of Jazz Hands', well, hands, and slammed her elbow into his gut, allowing her to break free, turn around, and slug Jazz Hands in the face with a left hook.
"Call me a little girl at your own peril, buddy," Klee taunted.
"You know something?" James wheezed as he managed to slip away from Sam and Britney and rejoin Jazz Hands. "We'll let you off the hook just this once. After all, we have other things to worry about at the moment. But I assure you, Sam, this isn't over, not by a long shot. You will be mine before this is all over, and that's a fact."
Jazz Hands pressed a button on his remote, and the floor underneath him and James opened up to ferry them away from the area.
"Of course they would!" Britney exclaimed. "Just as I was about to kick him down there, too..."
"Not to worry, spies," Haruka quipped, opening her X-Powder. "I managed to slip a tracker on mister mime when Klee clocked him, and it looks like they're heading for West Beverly."
"Well, then let's go head them off at the pass!" May proclaimed.
With that, the spies exited the lair and headed back out into Beverly Hills.
As they continued to search for the villains, Sam and Britney kept glancing at each other, silently communicating that they both wanted to do something to show Mat how much they loved him.
To be continued...
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
On the next episode...
Haruka: Well, well, look at who we found wandering the streets without an adult.
Jazz Hands: Oh, very clever, little girl.
Sam: You've got some nerve going after my man just to spite me, you know. You wanna explain your motives before we send you back to containment?
May: I wouldn't bother with reasons, Sammy. Our rogues' gallery never make sense when it comes to their motivations.
Sam: ...okay, point.
James: Just know that you'll be mine when we're through, Sam.
Jazz Hands: I think you mean she'll be mine.
Nick: ...do I detect an opening?
Klee: I think so, too! But we'll have to wait to see if it comes to fruition, next time on Totally Spies: Mime Your Manners, "Revenge of the Evil Boyfriend"!
May: Am I glad this new scriptwriter isn't forcing puns on us anymore.
Nick: Yeah, I think he heard what you did to the last two.
