I apologize in advance. Don't hate me, please (cowers in a corner)

Chapter 23: Misery Loves company

xxxxx

He never showed up.

She got stood up by Kaede freaking Rukawa.

The more she thinks about it, the angrier she gets. She's been on the warpath after getting humiliated by him. How dare he treat her like that? He acts kind and all smiley around her, he even agrees to go with her to the exhibit, and then, ditches her at the last minute. What a jerk.

At first, she was worried when he didn't show up, afraid that something bad had happened to him. She had imagined all sorts of explanations, each more outlandish than the one before. She couldn't help it, ever since the accident, she worried unduly over anything.

There she stood at the corner of the café that was supposed to be their meeting spot, chewing on her thumbnail and going crazy pondering over the various worst scenarios that could had happened to him.

Did he got lost? Oh no, what if he was kidnapped by one of his psycho fans? Dragged him in an abandoned warehouse to torture him in order to get him to say anything, just for them to hear his voice and stare nonstop at his eyes, or forced him to drink a potion that will make him theirs.

She would have been more understanding if the reason was valid. She would be even more considerate towards him if he got abducted by aliens. But no. She had to hear from his teammates that Rukawa wanted to go home early because he's tired and needs some sleep.

What the heck?

Mizuki entered the school gate, her face seething with anger and steam literally coming out of her ears. The other students managed to steer clear of her, while some looks at her curiously, wondering about her strange behavior, which were a direct contrast from the cheerful girl they had encountered not too long ago.

"Morning." Takamiya's sleepy voice greeted her, oblivious to her simmering rage.

Mizuki ignored him and yanked her locker door open with enough force to nearly rip it off its hinges. The portly boy jumped in surprise, waking him from his stupor. He watches silently as Mizuki angrily shoves her outdoor shoes inside.

"What's got your knickers in a knot?" Takamiya finally asks, adjusting his askew glasses.

Her temper flares, and she scowls at him. He immediately held his hands up in a placating gesture.

Mizuki threw one last glare at him before snatching her uwagutsu from her locker and putting them on. Then, she slams the locker shut, Takamiya staring wide eyed at her back as she walks away.

"Must be the time of the month." He shrugs before digging through his backpack for a morning snack.

xxxxx

She felt his presence before she saw him. Maybe it's because of the abrupt change in the atmosphere whenever he's around - the slight hitch in each and every girls breathing, their nervous giggle, the straightening of their posture and fluttering of their eyelashes.

The crowds seemed to part like the Red Sea as soon as he walks the hallway.

As much as she tried, she couldn't stop the quickening of her heart beat as she catches sight of a familiar mop of dark hair.

And there he was, staring up at her with those deep blue eyes she dreamt of all too often this past week.

But something was wrong. His eyes looked different. He had never looked at her this way, ever. Something cold and unforgiving gleamed in those deep blue orbs. There was no kindness in them, instead his eyes flashed with something akin to anger. And truthfully, it terrified her.

His face then reverts back to his usual impassive state, before walking past her, leaving her shell-shocked and unable to form a coherent thought.

xxxxx

To say that Mizuki was confused was an understatement.

She knew better than to expect an apology from him. But she was hoping he would feel ashamed for standing her up, maybe show a bit of remorse. Instead, he looked at her with apparent distaste, as though her very presence offended him. He didn't even show up during lunch at their table, as if to further prove his dislike.

Which left her dumbfounded. He's mad at her. Why would he be mad at her?

"The nerve of that guy," Mizuki snarls under her breath, hands clenched in a tight fist. She's the one who was left humiliated, as she stood waiting at the café, worrying herself to death.

The lights began to dim in the auditorium, and Mizuki was abruptly brought back to the present - currently watching the Sleeping Beauty play with Mito and the rest of the gang. From besides her, Ohkusu readied his video camera as they waited for the play to start, not missing any chance of recording any blunders made on Noma's part.

The music started and the stage lights went up, and the actors began appearing on stage, the christening of Aurora as their opening scene.

There were some goofy moments specially when Maleficent's elaborate headdress got stuck on her staff when she began casting her spell. Even with the three fairies help, it took them a while to remove it. And as the audience laugh at their predicament, Mizuki couldn't help but feel embarrassed for them, mostly for the student playing the role of the villain.

But it was forgotten when Aurora finally emerged on the limelight. All the boys went crazy with cheering and clapping for her - Ohara Fumiko, the Sleeping Beauty and without a doubt, the star of the show.

A twinge of jealousy stirred within her at the sight of the pretty brunette.

It was mostly triggered by rumors circulating around campus recently. Rumor has it that Ohara and Rukawa are currently an item. The gist of the tale was that the first-year student was being harassed by an obsessed suitor and that the ace player intercepted and protected her from the creepy stalker. Ohara giving him a wrapped bento this morning further ignited the speculations about the two of them dating.

But Rukawa didn't come to watch the play. If he's interested with Ohara, he'd show up, right? Or maybe he's being careful, knowing how his fandom will react to this news, and he's keeping her safe from his crazy fans.

She pushed the thoughts away.

She tried to focus on the play, her wish for distraction was granted when a now moustache-less Noma walked on stage, garbed in tight fitting black trousers, brown tunic and high black leather boots, his long red cloak swishing behind him. He didn't seem nervous at all. Mito, Ohkusu and Takamiya responded with loud cheer and whistles as he delivers his first line.

But it only provided momentary reprieve as her mind once again drift back towards the blue-eyed boy.

Kaede Rukawa frustrated her beyond imagination.

It was only when Takamiya nudged her with his elbow that she realizes that the show has ended.

She hated that she couldn't concentrate, couldn't even enjoy the play because her feelings and emotions were in a jumbled mess.

And she blames him for that.

xxxxx

She ignores him and try to act unbothered by his presence, pretended like she doesn't know him. But she knows she's doing a poor job of concealing her disappointment when he seems intent in ignoring her too.

He owes her an apology, damnit, provide an explanation at least, but he refuses to even look at her, acting like she doesn't exist.

Frankly, it hurt… a lot.

Others have started to notice the change between her and Rukawa, the uncomfortable tension in the air, the growing animosity, specially when he still didn't join them at lunch.

Mito cornered her after school, curious to know why Rukawa's acting like an asshole lately, and when he asks her somewhat jokingly what stupid thing she did for the ace player to revert back to being his douche self, she shot him a venomous glare.

"Why does it have to be me who did something?" She snaps at her cousin, who recoils in shock. "He's always been a jerk."

The lie tasted bitter and cruel in her mouth.

And then doubts begins to creep in. What if she really did something stupid?

She promptly comes to her senses and shakes her head, shoving the absurd feeling down.

xxxxx

"Do you think they're dating?" asked a voice as the door to the girls' bathroom opens.

"She's pretty. He's gorgeous. As much as it hurts for me to admit it, they look good together." another girl answered. There was a bitter edge to her tone.

The three girls who entered the bathroom are unaware that Mizuki's currently occupying the last stall. But Mizuki on the other hand, already has an inkling on the topic of their conversation. She remains still, unsure of what to do.

"But he didn't watch the play," a third female voice spoke from the stall next to Mizuki. "and I thought he likes Yohei-chan."

Mizuki's jaw nearly hit the floor at the girl's statement.

The other student, who's facing the mirror and applying lipgloss, scoffs at her friend's remark.

"I mean, he's always hanging out with her," explains the girl from inside the stall.

"It's a mystery what he even sees in her."

Mizuki sucked in a startled breath.

"She's so plain looking compares to Ohara"

A flushing sound was heard followed by the door latch unlocking, and then the girl grumbled, "Honestly, everyone's plain looking whenever Ohara's around. Those green eyes are too die for."

All three girls let out a sigh. There was a murmuring noise of assent, accompanied by the sound of a running faucet.

"Yohei-chan's looks cute too, don't you think?" inquired the first voice.

"I dunno, she's kinda weird. Not to mention that she looks depressed most of the time, like she's carrying the weight of the world."

"Maybe, he just pities her, you know, with her dad's accident and all."

Silence.

"She's not a good match for Rukawa-san."

"You think Ohara-chan is?"

Another moment of silence.

"No, I don't think so, she's a snotty, stuck up brat."

A chorus of giggles erupted in the restroom.

"Girl, that was savage," were the words that were uttered before the door closes, their high-pitched giggles echoing through the corridor.

After what seems to be an eternity, Mizuki finally emerges from the bathroom stall. She absentmindedly washes her hands in the sink as their words echoes in her mind.

"It's a mystery what he even sees in her."

She exits the restroom and walks the hallway in a daze.

"She's not a good match for Rukawa-san."

She stands at the threshold of the now empty classroom, a sense of melancholy creeping in.

"Maybe, he just pities her,"

Her gaze lingered on Rukawa's vacant seat, his cd player lay forgotten atop his desk. She walks over and sits on his chair. Unthinkingly, she traces the portable player with her fingers. The sight of it brought back a memory and a hauntingly beautiful melody. Was it just a few days ago when he shared the music he was listening with her? It felt as if months had already passed.

With a heavy sigh, she drops her head into the crook of her elbow and closes her eyes, her eyelids felt as heavy as the immense weight in her chest.

xxxxx

Mizuki was surprised to see Rukawa waiting at the bus stop. When she asked why he's taking the bus, the dark-haired boy merely shrugged and muttered something about his bike being unavailable at the moment, and although she would never openly admit it to him, she was secretly pleased that his mode of transportation got broken and that she got to spend another few minutes with him before he disembarks at the third stop.

But luck must be on her side this time for she got more than a few minutes with him as the flow of traffic is held down to a snail's pace due to a road being repaired at the moment.

So, there she was sitting at the back of the bus, with a restless and annoyed Rukawa seated beside her. Out of all the days for his bike to break down, it had to be today. Bored out of his wits, he took his cd player, plugged the earphones, closed his eyes and ignored her attempt of mindless chitchat, much to Mizuki's exasperation. She rolled her eyes at him and grudgingly stared out the window, resting one elbow on the window ledge and cradling her chin with her open palm. Tired with the same view as the flow of traffic by now is at a complete standstill, she shifted in her seat to watch his sleeping face, which undoubtedly is more fascinating than the view from outside of the bus.

She leaned closer, her curiosity piqued. Careful as not to wake him, she reached out and slowly removed one ear piece and slip it on her own.

She expected to hear some punk rock music, or emo pop bands playing, or maybe an English learning audio, but instead, she heard soft and melodious music. It's a touching piano piece, and it has such deep emotion on it, the kind that tug at the heartstrings and making her feel bittersweet. It's hauntingly beautiful, and tragic, and it instantly makes her think of her parents.

The music ended, and she sat there, swallowing back the painful lump in her throat.

"You don't like it?"

Her head snapped to the left, in the direction of the unexpected voice. Rukawa's gaze felt so intense that it feels like his eyes are burning a hole right through her.

Mizuki turned her head, unable to meet his eyes.

"What's the title?" she asked, her fingers twisting together in her lap.

***"When the love falls by Esmerald."

"It's beautiful." She says, trying to smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

xxxxx

Mizuki felt a prickling sensation of someone watching her. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up with a jerk, almost toppling from her seat when she realized who was standing before her.

Rukawa Kaede. The source of her present woes.

His deep blue eyes flitted to the cd player she's holding then back at her.

It suddenly hit her that she's sitting in his seat, cradling his damn cd player like it's something precious to her and looking pathetically miserable.

Mustering every ounce of dignity she could grasp, she pushed her chair back, lifted her chin and stood. She walked past him towards her desk, intent on ignoring him completely.

Rukawa seems entirely unfazed by her behaviour. He slid his backpack off his shoulder, unzipped the bottom compartment, and shoved the cd player inside.

"I wasn't waiting up for you, you know," The words came unbidden, spilling from her lips.

She mentally kicked herself. So much for ignoring him.

"I wasn't," Mizuki insists.

He said nothing, just stared at her for a moment longer before yanking the zipper shut and slinging his backpack over one shoulder.

She bristled at his insolent behavior. She didn't understand his apparent animosity toward her.

Temper flaring, she slammed her hands down onto the desk.

"What the hell is your problem?" she demands, the last thread of her patience inevitably snapping.

His spine goes rigid, but he still refused to say anything.

"Why are you acting so pissed off?" She yelled at his back.

She knew she should stop talking, but couldn't seem to get that message from her brain to her mouth. Her all too familiar temper welled up inside of her and anger tinged her voice. "You know what, you sure had me fooled. For a while, you had me convinced that you're my friend, but apparently, you're not."

He whirled around to face her, a look of consternation flickered across his face, but it was quickly replaced by his usual impassive expression.

"Who ever said I wanted to be your friend?" He countered, and she visibly flinched. His voice sounded cold and distant. The warm tone of voice she had become used to hearing was now gone.

His words felt like a slap to her face.

She felt her chin quiver, and she averted her gaze, fists clenched at her sides. "Oh, so it was all just an act then?"

A humourless laugh escaped her.

"Who would have thought you were such a good actor?" she went on, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

He scoffs. "And what about you?"

"What about me?" She snapped her head up to scowl at him.

Much to her ire, he didn't give a response, instead he began to walk away.

"Oh no you don't!" She stalked after him, blocking his path. "Just tell me. I didn't do anything wrong, you're the one who's being cruel to me. I want to know what I did for you to suddenly find me repulsive."

His eyes narrowed. "Why bother? I thought I was just an insufferable selfish jerk to you. Or," Rukawa tilted his head, as if contemplating it, a cold calculation to his eyes that wasn't there before, "what's that word you used to describe me," his mouth then curled into a sneer, "- emotionally constipated guy?"

'What is he saying?'

Oh no. No, no, no.

A strangled sound escaped from her. Her face paled and she stared at him, aghast.

Slowly, the gravity of what she had done, what she had said that one afternoon dawned on her. Dread stirred into the pit of her stomach. She could have sworn her heart stopped beating then and there.

"Rukawa, I - did you - I didn't," she stammered, trying to find words to make him believe her. To make him trust her again. But she knew whatever sort of friendship they had was already irreparable. All because of her and her stupid mouth.

Rukawa's expression looks resigned, but his tone is cutting and harsh. "In the future, don't touch my stuff again,"

There was a pause.

"And stay the hell away from me, Yohei."

Without waiting for a reply, he hurried out of the room.

For a moment, Mizuki couldn't move, couldn't speak. She tried to gather her thoughts, but her mind was reeling.

'He was there. He heard everything?'

No wonder he hates her right now.

She clamped her hand over her mouth to suppress a sob. Her vision started to blur as tears gathered in her eyes.

Guilt flooded through her.

He didn't deserve those words. She didn't deserve him.

"Rukawa!" She calls after him, but he's already gone.

At the thought of losing him, panic seized her and she rushed out of the room and down the stairs, not stopping until she reaches her destination. She grabbed the gym's door handle, only to discover that it's locked.

"Mizuki-chan?"

A calm voice called out her name.

It was Ayako.

But she was not the person whom she wanted to hear call out her name.

Mizuki flicked her eyes towards the curly haired manager but didn't acknowledge her. She remained motionless, waiting near the front door.

"Ryota had asked everyone to take a rest for now. After all, it's the 'big game' tomorrow." Ayako explained, making air quotes with her hand as she slowly approached her.

"Hey." The third-year student stood next to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Mizuki closes her eyes and thumped her forehead against the door. With a sigh of resignation, she whispered, "Everything. Everything's wrong."

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, dejected. "It doesn't matter. He hates me now."

"Who? Rukawa?"

Mizuki stared at Ayako, mouth agape. She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again, but no words came out.

'Is it too obvious?'

As if reading her mind, Ayako raised her eyebrows knowingly. "I just assume it's Rukawa since the two of you had been avoiding each other like a plague."

"But hate is such a strong word, and honestly, I don't think he hates you." Ayako stated, without any hesitation.

"He does." Mizuki insisted, "You should have seen the way he looks at me -" she faltered, the cold look in his eyes replayed itself in her mind, making her chest constrict. Feeling lightheaded, she slides down the door and flopped on the cement floor.

"I screwed up. Big time."

Ayako joins her, sitting cross legged with her chin resting on both hands as she patiently waits for her to continue.

Mizuki took a deep breath before speaking, "Mito and I were talking at the garden a few days ago. I didn't know Rukawa was there. And I think he heard everything."

She fidgeted with the buttons on her blazer. "My cousin was asking what's the deal between me and Rukawa. And I just – I don't know, I instinctively went into defensive mode. I don't want him thinking that I have a crush on Rukawa or something,"

"Why? Would it be such a bad thing?" Ayako asked.

"It's … I don't want to disappoint Mito and Sakuragi. You know when it comes to Rukawa, they don't have high opinion of him."

"Pfft," Ayako huffed, rolling her eyes, "Tell those two to fuck off and mind their own business."

"The thing is... I said some harsh words about Rukawa behind his back. In order to appease Mito, to get him off my case." Mizuki admits miserably.

"I said that Rukawa was a pompous ass, an insufferable, emotionally constipated selfish jerk, that he's lucky because he got the face to compensate for his rotten attitude, and it was only because of sympathy that I tried to befriend him. I don't really remember the exact words I said, but I think he does."

She buries her face in the palms of her hands. "I'm such an idiot."

"Yes. And a coward to boot." Ayako finally says, breaking the silence.

"I think you're scared to admit that you feel something for him." Mizuki opened her mouth to argue, but Ayako cut her off, "But I guess, you simply wanted to protect your heart."

"Really, I never pegged him to be such a snowflake." The curly haired manager of the Shohoku team said with a chuckle, "Sakuragi threw insults at him all the time and come on, most of what you said is true anyway. Emotionally constipated, a resting bitch face-"

"I never mentioned anything about the resting -um - " Mizuki interjected, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Oh, you didn't?" Ayako covered her mouth with her paper fan to hide her smirk, "well, he really does have a resting bitch face, don't you agree?"

"No," was Mizuki's prompt reply.

"Anyway," Ayako drawled, a sheepish grin tugging at her lips. "I don't think Rukawa's the type of person to care about what other people think. But… you're an exception, Mizuki-chan, coz deep inside, however much he denies it, he considers you a friend. And hearing those words coming from you, maybe he feels…sort of betrayed." Ayako says softly.

"Just talk to him. Explain everything. It's all just a misunderstanding. I know he will listen to you."

"Are you sure?" Mizuki asks, voice small. Ayako nods.

"Okay," she relents, but doubt still creeps within her.

She wants to go and find him right now, but she doesn't think her nerves - no, her heart can take another rejection from him. Besides, Rukawa has got a lot of things on his mind at the moment, and she will be just a burden to him.

"Tomorrow," she promised, "after the game, I'm going to talk to him."

xxxxx

She never got the chance.

She never considered that the day would turn out to be a complete, unmitigated disaster.

Shohoku lost against Ryonan, shattering their Inter-High dreams.

She had known, hadn't she? In her gut, she had known that it would be foolish for her to hope, known all along that fate was always conspiring against her.

It was a mistake, coming to the game.

And as Mizuki watched Rukawa writhed in pain on the gym floor and curled up in a fetal position because of an injury, her mind flashed back to the accident and her classmates taunting her, calling her 'kuroneko'.

Realization hit her like a stream of ice-cold water.

Whatever doubts she had seemed to dissipate in an instant.

She truly is cursed.

A/N:

And then, Rukawa dies.

Just kidding!

Again, I apologize for this angst filled chapter. Before anyone of you start throwing daggers at me, I just want to point out that this fic will have a happy ending. I absolutely don't intend for anyone to die hehe

Thanks for reading! More soon. Feedback is very welcomed and much appreciated.

***A piano piece by Yiruma