Derek was going to murder his sister. He already came up with approximately 74 ideas on how to do it. His mom would be upset, but she would still have Cora and himself. He was confident that between the two of them his mom would lighten up in no time. Maybe. Besides, she would understand why he had to do it when all Laura had been doing was teasing him nonstop for the last week.

"I can't believe you, Der. How stupid can you be?"

"You really didn't ask for his name? Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised."

He got it, okay? He knew he was an absolute idiot. But to be fair, the last thing he was thinking about was what The Human's name was. Especially since he'd already came up with his own name for him. Which is another thing that he was beating himself up for.

Derek still had to call him.

It wasn't like he didn't want to, it's just that it's already been an entire week and the guy probably thought Derek had stood him up or something. Even though that's the exact opposite of what he was doing. He dropped the phone and fell backwards, dragging his hands over his face as he groaned loudly. Why was this so hard?

His door slammed open and he shot a half hearted glare at Erica. She rolled her eyes at him and sat on the end of the bed, picking up the card and tapping it against her palm as she eyed him. "Are you still stressing over calling your human?"

"He's not mine."

"And he won't be if you don't grow a pair and call him."

"Is there anything you wanted other than to patronize me?"

"No, not really." She shrugged and put down the card, a bit more roughly than he would've liked.

"Then go."

"Yes, sir." She smirked. Derek immediately narrowed his eyes at her and watched as she left the room. She was planning something. Or had already done something and was planning to drag him down with her. Whatever the case, Derek was going to keep a close eye on her. A yawn broke itself through his scowl and he settled down on his bed. He eyed the card on the end of the bed before putting it in his jacket and then turned around. Surely she wouldn't do anything right this minute. Even Erica had enough sense to plan some things. He would be safe for a short nap.

"Are you sure he's sleeping?"

Laura waved Erica off with a grin. "Positive. You know he's sleeping once his heart does that little blip and slows down." She sighed at the blonde's dubious look. "I've lived with him for years, do you really doubt me?"

"Not so much doubt as second guess."

"That's basically the same thing." Laura huffed before handing the phone to her. "I'll let it pass this time, but only because we're on a time sensitive mission. Do you remember what you're going to say?"

Erica smirked and leaned across the table, thumb hovering over the call button. ""Course I do. I'm gonna get his name and apologize for Derek's behavior and you're gonna tell him that no, he's not being stood up, Derek's just an emotionally troubled man who doesn't know how to communicate."

"Perfect. Alright, let's do this before he wakes up and tells my mom on us."

Stiles wasn't moping. He wasn't. He just happened to remember the small collection of tragedies Lydia had the audacity to call romance movies that they stored under his TV back in their high school days. He didn't think that an ending where the couple died together was romantic. It was sad, okay? Really fucking sad. And the one he'd watched before that, where the guy was helping her with her bucket list before she died? That was sad, too. How come 'romance' movies had to have someone die for it to win an Emmy or Oscar or whatever the hell they're called? Stiles just wanted a nice one, where a guy met another guy at a party who happened to be a werewolf and they hit it off over a fun little game of Uno before the human one gave the other one his number. Oh, and imagine this. The werewolf calls him back.

"As if." Stiles huffed and changed the channel, putting it on a cooking show. He picked up the pint of ice cream in front of him and watched it half heartedly. Out of all of the competitors, he decided he would root for the single dad of four. He was hot, he could cook and he was good with kids, why wouldn't he? He was doing pretty good, considering the steak and vegetable kabobs he was grilling. And just when Stiles was relaxing and relishing in his second handed accomplishment, the guy dropped his fucking plate all over the judges.

"Of course!" Stiles shut the TV off and tossed the remote beside him, heading to the kitchen to get another pint of ice cream. He was still mumbling to himself as he opened the freezer door and they turned into louder curses when he remembered that the one he had just eaten was his final one. He would've treasured it had he remembered, if his mind wasn't so preoccupied with something else.

The werewolf's face popped into his head and he sighed heavily, the frustration of his day turning into guilt. It wasn't Eyebrow's fault that he didn't call. He probably wasn't interested in him. But that wasn't right either, because he'd made sure he was reading the situation right before he handed the card over. He'd looked interested, really interested, actually. Stiles had more or less been touching him most of the night and the more he did it, the more the wolf got comfortable and returned his attention. Not tenfold, but enough that gave Stiles hope. Threefold? No, that was too low. At least a sixfold, Stiles decided with a nod as he got up and stretched. He glanced at the Batman and Captain America magnets his dad had bought him for his fourteenth birthday and sighed.

"I'd be happy with Bruce Wayne, too. And Chris Evans." His stomach growled and he hummed his agreement. Pizza sounded pretty good right now, but he'd had it last night. And the night before. Maybe Chinese? Stiles grabbed his phone and looked up their website, frowning when it began to ring. It wasn't a number he recognized and he was inclined to ignore it, but the last time he'd done that Lydia ripped him a new one for not answering. How was he supposed to know her phone died and she'd borrowed her friends?

Shrugging, he accepted the call and put it on speaker, looking for the poptarts he'd hidden from his dad. "Hello?"

"Batman!" A voice chirped. It took a second for him to realize what the hell the woman was talking about, but soon enough he could picture her. And that she was there with Eyebrows. He scrambled to take it off speaker and nearly hit himself with the pantry door when he put it against his ear.

"Catwoman! How'd you get my number? No, wait. Why didn't you call sooner?"

She laughed on the other line and he was sure he heard another woman. He chose to ignore it for now, focusing on getting his heart beating normally while he collected his thoughts. "I had to steal it from Derek cause he was being stingy and hogging it, otherwise I would've called the day after the party."

Stiles' chest warmed and he grinned at his shoes. "Derek?"

"The guy you were eye-fucking all night? My name's Erica, by the way. And the other two were Isaac and Boyd. In case you were wondering."

"Of course I was. Why wouldn't I be, considering we're friends."

"Damn right we are. And as the Catwoman to your Batman I demand to know what you call yourself right now."

He told her his full name while he saved her number in his phone, snickering at the garbled sound she released. "You can just call me Stiles, though."

"That's...yeah, we would've never gotten that. Anyway, I'm going to give the phone to Laura so she can explain the short version of why the asshole you decided to fall for hasn't called you."

"Laura?"

"Derek's sister. Don't worry, she's nothing like him." Before he could ask what that even meant, Laura was talking through the line.

"Stiles! Is it true you nearly flashed them in the bathroom?"

"No! Only my top button was undone, that doesn't count!" He yelled through his blush. What the hell were they telling her over there?

"Sure," Stiles could practically see the smirk and he didn't even know the woman. "Anyway, I'm gonna give you some background on my dear little brother, so listen up."

"I'm all ears."

"Derek's the worst at communicating, he hates being in situations where the outcome isn't clear. He's been staring at your number all week but he didn't want to call 'cause he thought you hated him. Erica and Isaac looked for you on campus too, but they didn't know your name and couldn't smell you anywhere."

Stiles didn't know if he should laugh or cry. Hate was way out of line for a lousy phone call, but on the other hand it was a phone call. From a hot wolf of a man, too. He'd settle for mild frustration. And for the other thing, where she had said they literally tried to track him, he was more flattered than anything. "Uh, it's fine I guess. It's not like I was sitting around waiting for him to call. I have a busy schedule too, so I understand."

"Stiles," Laura snickered along with Erica. "You do know we can hear when you lie, right?"

Stiles flushed, stammering to find an excuse that wouldn't make him sound pathetic. "Anyway!" He cut off the howling laughter with a petulant tone. "I'm not in New York right now. I'm back in Cali visiting my dad and Scotty." There was a pause, like they were listening for something else, when a yelp and various growls interrupted the question he didn't get to ask. He fell silent and eavesdropped shamelessly, growing excited as he recognized the low voice of Derek. After a few seconds of muffled sounds and a minute of hesitation, he finally got to talk to him again.

"Stiles?"

"Derek!" He didn't even try to stop the grin that stretched across his face.

"Hi."

"So… your name's Derek? That's nice." Stiles slapped his forehead and cursed himself in his head. A short huff of laughter echoed through the line as he hefted himself up on the counter, wincing when he bumped his head on the cabinet handle.

"Thanks. Erica said you're not in town right now?"

"Bingo. I'm out visiting my dad and Scotty for spring break."

"Your werewolf friend?"

"That'd be him. Although Lydia was over here the last couple nights, too." He looked towards the living room and scanned all the movies scattered around the floor along with empty popcorn bags, tissues, and soda cans.

"Lydia?" Derek asked, something hidden in his tone that Stiles couldn't decipher. Not yet, anyway.

"Mhmm. Childhood crush, high school rival and college study buddy. Man, you wouldn't believe me if I told you how much we avoided each other during senior year. We were both competing for valedictorian, and I was so close to winning, I'm talking like 0.0547% of half a point here. Do you know how soul crushing that was, Derek? The blow my ego took to be second best? I know better than anyone that second best is the first to lose, but do you know how many people reminded me of that? Not to mention that fucking Harris was the proctor. Did I mention him the other night?"

Stiles launched into another tirade, losing track of time and startling when his dad coughed from the side of him.

"Dad! Hey, when'd you get home?" He smiled innocently when he saw where his dad was looking.

"I just pulled in. I was about to relax and watch the Dodgers game, so imagine my surprise when I see the couch flooded with snack wrappers and tissues, never mind the romance movies on the floor." He raised an eyebrow at his flustered son and crossed his arms. "Do you have something to tell me, son?"

Stiles' ear was flooded with Derek's laughter and he gave his dad the most betrayed look he could muster. "Dad!" He pulled the phone away and gestured to it frantically. "I'm on the phone with Derek!" He hissed at him.

Surprise flashed over his dad's face. "Derek? The werewolf you were talking about with the eyebrows and, erm. Assets?"

Stiles squawked and glared at his dad as Derek's amusement grew louder. "He can hear you, you jerk."

"That so?" John smirked at his son's expression. "Derek, you have my condolences, son. You don't know what you signed yourself up for."

"I hate you!" Stiles called to his dad's retreating back. The man on the line managed to calm down but Stiles could still hear him snickering.

"I'm not picking all this trash up." Stiles rolled his eyes and jumped off the counter, grabbing a plastic bag from the pantry on his way to the living room, and balancing the phone between his shoulder and ear before he started to shove the tissues into the bag.

"So, I'm guessing you had a fun night last night?"

"You shut your trap, Derek." Stiles mumbled. "Anyway, I better clean up this mess. Talk to you later?" Derek paused for a minute and Stiles froze, wondering if he sounded like he was making excuses, when a hesitant cough had him refocusing.

"When are you coming back?"

"This Wednesday. Why?"

"Erica is dragging us to a carnival on Friday. I was wondering if you wanted to tag along with us, seeing as we have four tickets and Isaac has to work."

Stiles grinned and resisted the urge to fist pump. "Sure! I can meet you there and-"

"We'll get you, don't worry about that. Besides, it'll be more difficult to meet up with all the people there."

"Right. I'll see you on Friday, then."

"It's a date." Stiles' heart lurched and before he could say something sarcastic but endearing, Derek hung up on him. He didn't mind too much, considering he was asked on a date.

His dad found him sitting in the middle of the movies and beaming down at his phone. With a fond shake of his head, John passed his son and picked up the bag, grabbing a couple soda cans along with it. As soon as Stiles looked up at him, he nodded to him and held up the hand that was full. "Get up, I'll help you out."

"Thanks."

Stiles had a few glorious minutes of peace before his dad broke the illusion. "So. Tell me more about this Derek guy."


Author's Note:

I'l just say this now, I have an appreciation for Sheriff Stilinski's humor and sass lol. Let me know what you think!