He's Back

He knocked softly on the door. Three times.

It was late at night. It was dark. There was no rain.

She opened the door, her face completely devoid of emotion when she saw him.

The first thing he noticed was that her hair was that mousy shade of brown, that shade that he had come to hate over the months. That shade which meant that everything was not okay.

For a minute, the two of them just looked at each other. Finally, she spoke.

"Under what circumstances did I first meet Remus Lupin?" she asked him in a shaky voice, although her wand was now out and directed towards his throat.

"July 2, 1994," he answered in a quiet voice. "At the Auror Department. For an interrogation after it was found that I was a werewolf."

"Okay," she whispered, lowering her wand. "Come in."

She was hurt. She had been devastated. She hadn't expected him to do this, not after they had gotten married and declared to stay by each others' sides for the rest of their lives.

She guided him inside, reaching around to push the door shut and lock it.

He walked in, carefully, slowly, not knowing what to expect. Maybe she would slap him. Maybe she would kick him back out. Maybe she would tell her parents to take care of him. He deserved it all. He had abandoned her, and she was hurt. She didn't deserve to be hurt. He deserved to be hurt.

"Tonks, I-"

"Remus, please not now," she begged him softly. "I… I wasn't expecting you to come back at all, s-so I… I don't know what to do right now. Can we talk later?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

It was a blow to the chest.

She had not expected him back.

"Yeah," she whispered, turning away from him, imploring herself not to cry.

"Tonks? Are you okay? Is the baby…"

"We're fine," she said softly. "We're both doing okay. At least, physically."

He nodded, swallowing the bitter taste of bile down his throat. "Should I… take the couch?"

She paused.

"If you want to."

"Okay," he whispered.

She nodded, her mousy brown hair hanging limply to her shoulders. "Good night, Remus."

She was still treating him with so much respect.

As though it had all just been a bad day.

As though he hadn't abandoned her and their baby.

"G-Good night, Tonks."

She had started to walk towards their bedroom when she stopped and turned around. "Am I not Dora to you anymore?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

The question took him by surprise. "What?"

"Have I become Tonks to you?" she asked, her eyes welling with tears. "Do… Do you love me any less?"

"Dora, no," he said quietly. "That's not even possible."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, trembling. "I didn't mean to-"

"Stop it," he pleaded. "Stop apologizing. You haven't done anything. I'm the one who-"

"We'll talk about it in the morning, Remus," she whispered.

"Okay," he whispered.

They both lay that night, not ready for the morning to come.


"Remus?"

He blinked, everything disoriented from waking up.

In a moment, his vision started clearing, and Tonks's face came into view.

Her hair was still mousy brown. She was wearing a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, standing in front of him.

He noticed, for the first time, a tiny baby bump.

Guilt flooded through him.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Can we talk?" she asked, kneeling down onto the ground.

He gave a small nod, heart pounding.

"I'm not mad at you, you know," she said quietly. "I'm not mad at you at all. Because… because you were doing it for us. For me and the baby. You were never being selfish. You did it for us. Always for us.

"But it hurts me every time you run away," she whispered, her voice cracking. "It hurts me how you hurt yourself. Because we're the same, right? We're bonded for life. And whenever you hurt yourself, you hurt me too. I thought you wouldn't ever leave again, after we got married. But then you did, and I thought you would never come back. I thought that was it."

"I'm sorry, Dora," he whispered, feeling his eyes well with tears.

"You don't have to be sorry," she told him softly. "Don't leave us again, Remus. Please. I… It's not fair to me. I know you did it for us, but it hurts, Remus. I don't think I can bring a baby into this world without you," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I need you to be here with me. Please."

"I'm not leaving again," he told her, hating seeing her cry. "I'm so sorry, Dora. I can't keep doing this to you, it's not… I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, love. I'll be here with you. While we bring this one into the world, and after that. Forever. I promise, Dora."

"Come here, you silly git," she half-laughed, half-sobbed, holding her arms open to him. He crouched down onto the floor and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly, holding onto her as though she was his lifeline.

"Do you want me back?" he whispered into her ear. "I've hurt you so much already. What if I only hurt you more?"

"Even if you do, I'll still want you," she told him sadly. "Even if you run away a million times, I'll still want you. That's the problem. I love you too much to hate you."

"So how about I don't do anything to make you hate me?" he suggested softly, stroking her back. "No more running. No more hurting. I promise."

"Sounds like a deal," she laughed softly, before burying her head into his shoulder, tears streaming down her face. "I missed you."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "And I missed you too."


Three months later

"Hey, Remus, I'm going to go change, okay? This shirt is way too hot."

"Okay," Remus said slowly. "Be careful, okay?"

She stared at him. "Really? I'm literally changing my top! How could I not be careful?"

"Well, I mean, you're wearing really long pants, and you could trip! Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you just wanted to watch me change."

He blinked.

"But I do know better," she continued, rolling her eyes, "and you're actually concerned that I won't be careful enough. Relax, Remus. I'm literally going over to the other room. We'll be okay." She laid a hand on her belly gently. "Okay?"

"Nope. I'm coming with you guys. Come on." He draped his arm over her shoulder and carefully walked her over to their bedroom.

She rolled her eyes, but a smile made its way onto her face.

This was where Remus belonged.

This was where they belonged.

And they both knew it well.