Two weeks later--

Alex had turned Jo in to the police. It may have been the hardest thing he had done in a while but in the end it didn't matter. There was no proof that Jo was actually the one that had drugged Meredith therefore they didn't have a case.

Two weeks had flown by and Meredith was already looking better. She had gotten the wires removed from her mouth a few days ago and was working on walking short distances at a time. She wasn't healed fully by any means but this was a start. The side effects from the overdose had hit her hard. The nausea and dizziness hitting her the worst. She couldn't tell if the nausea was morning sickness or from the drugs.

Another side effect that had shown its ugly colors was the paranoia and in the early days after the overdose it hit her the worst. She didn't know what was happening, all she knew was she felt as though she was losing her mind.

She was currently in a wheelchair, about to go outside for the first time since the attack. The thought of the wind on her face and the warmth from the sunlight was enough to make her smile. A change of pace from the cold, isolating hospital room was always welcoming.

"Here we are," Alex said. "The nice fresh air." He set the brakes on the wheelchair before taking a seat on the bench next to her.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Meredith spoke up. "It's so nice out here, I had almost forgotten what fresh air was," she chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, hospital rooms can be pretty stuffy," Alex agreed.

"Alex, I wanted to thank you for being there for me," Meredith started, reaching over to grab his hand. "I couldn't have gotten through this without you and on behalf of both the baby and I...thank you."

"It's not a problem, Mer," Alex smiled. Meredith rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she chuckled.

"You just can't take a compliment, can you? You're my best friend, Alex. You're my person."

"Oh come on, Mer. Cristina is your person." Alex said.

"That may be true but Cristina isn't here. She hasn't even called me since before the attack. You haven't left my side this entire time." Meredith whispered. "I'm glad my child and I have you and I'm sorry we're causing you to have problems with Jo. I know I've needed you a lot since Derek died and I don't want that to stop you from having a life with Jo."

"Jo and I are done, Mer. She tried to kill you because she can't accept our friendship and the cops won't do a damn thing about it. I'm not dealing with that, no girl is worth your safety...I'm not losing you, too," Alex whispered, looking back out at the scenery.

She walked into the office, slowly looking around. It was much different from the last time she had been in here so many years ago.

"Hi Meredith, please have a seat."

Meredith took a seat, pushing her hair out of her face.

"So, you were referred to me by Miranda Bailey as you probably know. She wanted you to have someone to talk to about the incident that occurred a couple weeks ago."

Meredith sighed." Yes, but really, I don't need this."

"Meredith, it's alright to admit how you feel, you had something very traumatic happen to you."

"It was just a small thing that happened." Meredith said, shrugging it off.

"Small thing? You were attacked by a patient in your own hospital and you call that a small thing?" The therapist asked, a little in shock.

Meredith chuckled lightly. "Have you read my file? Bad luck seems to follow me wherever I go. I'm a magnet for it. My mother died of Alzheimer's, my stepmother died of the hiccups, my sister died in a plane crash along with my husbands best friend who died a few days later and my husband was hit by a semi."

"That's a lot of tragedy to experience. Now, if I read your file correctly, your life wasn't the only one in harms way, was it?"

"No, it wasn't," Meredith responded, biting her lip.

"You were eight weeks pregnant at that time, correct?"

"Yes, my baby somehow survived." Meredith replied, gently running a hand along your stomach.

"Are you happy that your baby survived?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm happy." Meredith got up, heading over to the window. "There is no way my child should have survived the attack or the overdose."

"How do you feel about being pregnant?"

Meredith chuckled. "How do I feel? I found out I was pregnant shortly after my husband died. It's been really hard to digest but I love this baby, that much I know for sure."

"Are you afraid to become your mother?"

"All the time. My mother didn't want me and...I don't know if I can be a mother. I'm terrified that I might follow in her footsteps. She cared more about her career than her child. She cared more about having an affair and betraying her husband than her child. I never had an affair but I don't want my child to think that my career is more important than them." She took a breath then continued. "I just don't know if the world thinks I'm cut out for motherhood."

"How did your father feel about your mother's affair and her putting her job before him and yourself?"

"How do you think he felt?" Meredith scoffed, shaking her head. "When they got divorced, I didn't see him again until his wife showed up in the E.R. almost ten years ago. She had persistent hiccups due to severe acid reflux. She had surgery to fix it but ended up getting bacterial endocarditis so we gave her some antibiotics. Then she got C. Diff, which caused a perforation in her colon. The perforation caused sepsis which caused her to die." She took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "When Thatcher came back to the hospital after she died, he slapped me and told me it was my fault that she died and that I couldn't go to the funeral. Not long after that, I met Lexie, my sister. She was an intern at the hospital. Every time I looked at her, I thought of Ellis, Thatcher and Susan. I tried ignoring her but it didn't work. She was stubborn, like me." She laughed softly. "We ended up talking and we became very close...until she died." A silent tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly.

"How did her death affect you?" The therapist asked softly.

"It was like a piece of me had been ripped away. I had finally let someone get close to me and then she was taken from me so suddenly. I miss her every day. Her ex boyfriend died, too. Derek's best friend, Mark. We weren't as close but he meant the world to Lexie. I'm glad they were able to say 'I love you' before they died. They got closure." She sniffled and sat back down in the chair.

"You got to say goodbye to Derek, though. It might not have been the same thing as Lexie and Mark but he knew you loved him. You have to keep that in mind." The therapist said gently.

"I know." Meredith said with a nod.

"So...why do you think your baby survived the attack and the attempted murder?" The therapist asked, switching topics.

"Luck, I guess," Meredith responded wringing her fingers together. "Forget that. I wouldn't say luck." She shook her head, staring at her hands. "Listen, I don't even know why I'm here. Yes, the attack was horrible and I'm lucky that we're both alive but this is just another chapter in my crappy life. The only things I have going for me are my baby and my best friend."

"Thats Dr. Alex Karev, right?"

Meredith smiled upon hearing his name. "Yeah, he's been with me throughout all of this." She chuckled softly. "It's funny, I used to hate him."

"When did that change?" The therapist asked, intrigued.

"We all changed, when I first met him he was an asshole. My intern year there were five of us. Me, Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina. They called us Magic." Meredith laughed softly. "Now it's just the two of us."

"What happened to everyone else?"

"George was hit by a bus and died, Izzie got cancer and left Alex. They were actually married for a while. Cristina is my person and she moved to Zurich where she now owns a hospital and now it's just Alex and I. Everything has changed." Meredith said softly.

"You have lost a lot of people in your life."

"That doesnt even scratch the surface." Meredith said with a bitter chuckle.

"Let's talk about your husband. Tell me what you felt when they told you about the accident."

"Listen, I don't want to talk about it or think about it." Meredith gritted, the last thing she wanted to think about was Derek.

"It's okay to talk about your feelings, Derek still plays a huge roll in your life."

"He always will," Meredith started. "And I'm okay with that."

"Have you found peace with his death?" The therapist asked.

"Peace? There is no peace with his death. I'll never be okay with it! He should be here with me, with his child. There was nothing okay about his death. I don't know what is in your file but there is a lot more to the story than him getting hit." She started heading towards the door. "So please, save me the 'everything happens for a reason' speech. There is no reason he should have died!" She yelled, walking out of the office as she slammed the door behind her.