Jay woke up the next morning from his alarm clock he could see Hailey fast asleep snuggled into him. Hailey was a very light sleeper however she didn't even stir when the alarm went off and Jay knew she must have exhausted herself emotionally last night so he wiggled his was of the couch careful not to wake her and got dressed and made breakfast. He waited till the last minute to wake her so she could get as much rest as possible but whilst he was making breakfast she walked through.
"Hey" she said
"Hey how you feeling" he asked her
"Better" she said and he smiled
"How come you didn't wake me" she asked
"Thought you could do with the rest" he said and she just nodded before going to get dressed.
When they arrived at the precent Hailey and Jay went to make there way upstairs when platt stopped them.
"Golidlocks you have a visitor" Platt said pointing to the direction of a male. He was tall dark hair but Jay could tell he was related to Hailey because his features were similar but the biggest similarity were there eyes. He had the same piecing Blue eyes Hailey had.
Hailey smiled seeing the man and jay was relieved that she was happy to see who he could only assume was Hailey's brother.
"Thanks" she said to Trudy before turning to jay
"I'll meet you up there" she told him and he knew that was her indirect way of saying that she needed space so he nodded and continued up the stairs.
Hailey made her way over to her oldest brother Danny who hugged her tightly.
"Hey what are you doing here" she asked and he looked at her
"Not here" he said and Hailey nodded realising he wanted to go somewhere more private to talk so she went into one of the rooms downstairs. They were never ones to deal with family matters in public.
"So" Hailey asked closing the door
"What I can't visit my favourite sister" he asked
"Okay first of I'm your only sister and second there must be a reason. You don't exactly live locally" she said
Danny sighed before speaking "you see dad yet" he asked and Hailey knew the question was coming. She was expecting for him to moan at her.
"No, I went but I couldn't bring myself to walk into his room" she said and just like with Jay she dropped her eyes to the floor.
"You don't have to go see him hails" he said shocking her slightly.
"Look I know everyone has probably said otherwise but I didn't come here to tell you to visit dad I came here because I know the pressure everyone especially mom would put on you do visit him. Hails you owe him nothing okay" he said and hailey smiled to herself. They didn't get to see each other much anymore yet Danny still came down to try and protect her.
"I know. I get it I know that if he was to die tonight I would regret it but I just can't bring myself to see him either" she said to him and he nodded
"I hate him Hailey. I didn't even have it that hard and I still hate him so I can't even imagine how difficult it will be for you but if you want we can go together. We'll go to the hospital and then if we decide we don't want to see him we'll go home and FaceTime Micheal and talk to him but if we decide to go in and talk to him the we'll have each other" he said. He was so kind to her. He had always had a soft space for his little sister
"Yea okay" she said and stayed silent for a while. Danny knew his sister better than she knew herself so he stayed silent knowing she wanted to say something else.
"You know it's weird, I'm not scared to go see him because I think he'll scream or yell at me in fact i kind of expect that, I'm more scared that moms right, that he has changed. I want to hate him for everything he's done I want to go in there and have an excuse for shutting mom and dad out all those years ago but if he's different know then every excuse I tell myself for not seeing them goes out the window" Hailey said and Danny got it.
"I get it hails. For moms sake I hope she's right and that he's stopped drinking and he's treating her better know which to be honest I doubt it but even if he has changed that doesn't excuse him for everything he has put us through everything he put you through and just because he not that man right now doesn't mean he's worthy of your forgiveness okay. You have every right to hate him, every right to blame him despite how he is now because that doesn't change the past hails" he said and she looked up at him and nodded.
"What time do you finish work" he asked her
"I'm not sure, time varies but I'll text you when I'm finishing up" she said and he nodded
"Here" she handing him her house keys
"Thank you" he said. She looked tired and he was worried for her.
"You've been sleeping" he asked and she nodded.
"Hails please make sure your taking care of yourself" he said softly and she smiled
"I will Danny I promise" she said to ease his nerves
"Okay but you call me if you need anything" he said and she just nodded his head
"I better get to work I'll see you tonight" she said and he nodded
"Yea see you soon" he said and she began to walk away.
"Don't get shot" he said and she laughed
"Can't promise anything" she teased and walked away.
To be honest Danny was concerned about Hailey. It wasn't that she couldn't handle herself, she had proven countless times that she could. What he was concerned about was how good Hailey was at hiding how she really felt. Even though he knew his sister like the back of his hand he also knew that Hailey was very good at masking. She would mask how she's feeling inside and it would eat away at her.
"All good" Jay asked Hailey as she sat down at her desk.
"Yea that was my brother Danny, we're going to go see our dad tonight after work" she said and he nodded. He was glad she wasn't having to do that alone and he also knew she wouldn't want him to come with her yet.
"You okay with that" he asked
"Yea" she said however it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
Hailey almost dreaded when the night came to an end and Danny was waiting for her downstairs.
Jay walked into the locker room to find Hailey. She was grabbing her stuff out her locker and Jay could see how nervous she looked.
"You sure your okay with this" Jay asked her
"Yea I need to see him and it'll be easier having Danny there" she said and he nodded
"Call me if you need anything okay" he said and she nodded before saying goodbye and leaving to go downstairs.
When she met with Danny and got into the car he drove through to the hospital. They walked inside and stood on the other side of the glass to where there father was.
Danny could practically see Hailey shut down the moment she saw him.
"Hailey hey your here, your dads been asking about you. Sorry to here about his heart" Will said to her when he saw her standing outside the room.
"Thanks Will" she said and Danny was confused by who this is
"Danny this is Will he is Jay my partners brother. He's a doctor here at med. this is my brother Danny" Hailey introduced them and Danny shook Wills hand
"You want to go in and see him because we have to run tests soon" Will said and Danny could see Hailey wasn't ready to go in just yet.
"Could we have two minutes first" Danny asked and Will said of course giving them space sensing something was off. He could see Hailey looked almost nervous and reluctant to go in but he just assumed it was because she was worried about her father.
"Hails" Danny said when Will had left "you don't have to go in and see him. We can still go home" Danny said
"No, I need to do this and if I don't make myself see him now I'm not going to be able to convince myself to come back here. I just need to get this over with so I can stop stressing myself out" she said and Danny nodded. He was worried though. He could see Hailey's hands shaking and how nervous she was to see him again after all these years.
Hailey braced herself before walking in with Danny.
"Hey dad" they greeted him walking in
"Took you long enough" there dad commented under this breathe with the intention of them hearing
"Hailey long time no see" he commented and Hailey shifted uncomfortably. Danny would go visit them whenever he was in Chicago. He always came back with the intention of seeing Hailey but always landed up making plans to go get something to eat with there mom.
Every now and then when going to pick up there mom to grab a bite there dad would be home and Danny and him would exchange a few words however Hailey hadn't talked or seen there dad in over five years now.
"Yea it's been a while" she said quietly
"What's kept you so busy" he said and his tone was judgemental
"Work has me swamped at the moment" Hailey said and he just scoffed
"Well you've both been here for nearly 2 minutes and neither one of you has given me a hug" he said and Danny knew for certain there was no way Hailey was going to hug him. Any type of physical touch when it came to there father was pushing it for Hailey. Her instincts where always to flinch away from him not embrace him in a hug.
"We really shouldn't dad. Hailey and I are both out working admits Covid and in your current state of recovery we can't have you getting the virus" Danny said making up an excuse.
There dad seemed to accept there answer to that and continued.
"So where's Micheal" he asked.
Danny loved Micheal but was slightly frustrated at how he acted. He didn't live in Chicago in fact he left Chicago the minuet he turned eighteen and never looked back. He essentially suffered from zero abuse and always seemed to have it the easiest growing up. He wasn't acknowledged much though by there parents and resented the fact that he didn't get any attention from them even though Danny knew hailey would kill to be in his position. He constantly played the victim. What really upset Danny was that Danny had moved out when he turned eighteen to go to university and he was heart broken to leave Hailey in that house with there dad so Danny asked Micheal to look out for Hailey during the week and then he could come back on weekends to see them. He trusted Micheal knowing that Hailey couldn't defend herself against there dad but he didn't stick to his word. He was never around always out and just left Hailey to fend for herself. The abuse when Danny moved out had become so severe with Hailey because she had nobody but herself to protect her. When Micheal turned eighteen he was out of there and Hailey was left completely alone with him. Danny had even considered dropping out of university so he could help because it had become so bad at home but Hailey begged him not to drop out saying she would feel responsible for that.
When Hailey eventually turned eighteen she moved in with Danny until she got a job and her own place to herself and neither of them had heard a word from Micheal since apart from the occasional texts here and there.
Danny had texted Micheal when there dad landed up in hospital and Micheal texted back saying that he wasn't coming.
"Micheal's caught up with work" Hailey lied to him to cover for Micheal
"You kids and your work. You act like it's the most important thing in the world" he said
"Yea well we have to pay the bills" Danny joked to lighten the tension
"Yea Hailey I'm sure you doing well on a police salary" he said bring the tension right back.
After Hailey finished high school there father pressured Hailey into studying law at university despite her want to join the police academy. She studied it though for a few months because her father wanted her to be a lawyer and she was still living at home because she couldn't afford her own place but Danny was furious that he had done that and told Hailey to quit and move in with him so she could do what she wanted. After six months of university she dropped out and joined the academy. Since then her father had spent every waking moment attempting to throw it back at her face saying that a lawyer was a more stable better paying job instead of running around as a cop. He didn't respect what she did because it went against what he wanted.
"Yea well I don't mind the pay cut if it means I can help others" Hailey said and Danny smiled.
"Heard your a detective now working for intelligence" he said and Hailey nodded
"You know it's strange to imagine you as a detective taking down criminals. You were always so soft, weak" he said and Danny could tell he was just trying to get some sort of reaction out of her and it just reminded him how much he hates his father.
"Dad" Danny said in a sort of warning voice standing up for Hailey
"See still hiding behind your brother" he added and Hailey didn't say anything. He certainly hadn't changed that was for sure.
There father went to say something back when Will walked in.
"Hey guys sorry to interrupt but I need to run some scans now, it's going to take a while" Will said and he could basically see the tension in the air. He wasn't sure what was going on but her could see Hailey's hands shaking slightly and she looked a bit upset which was unlike her.
Hailey nodded acknowledging Wills comment and Danny spoke up.
"Alright well we will leave you to it then, it was good to see you dad" he said and they said goodbye and left getting into Danny's car.
Hailey let out a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"At least it's over" Danny said and Hailey nodded but she wasn't saying anything and her hands where shaking still.
The drive home was silent and when they got to Hailey's apartment he stopped the car and turned to face her.
"What's going through your head hails" he asked her. She was quiet for a moment
"I'm twenty eight, have a home, a good job, good friends, lovely brother" she said smiling at him
"I shouldn't let him get to me, shouldn't let him affect me still. I've had years of training with how to deal with people like him but every single time I see him it's like all that his out the window. Its like the moment I see him I just shut down" she said and he could see this was upsetting her.
"That's because he's not some criminal you've arrested. He's family hails and he was supposed to protect you growing up but instead he was the person you needed protecting from. You spent eighteen years with that abusive asshole. That doesn't just go away now that your older. You've spent more years having to put up with shit than you haven't. It's going to take time and eventually it will get easier but I'm six years older than you and I still get upset seeing dad. It's human nature hails, you don't have to be okay all the time" he said
"Let's go inside and we'll see if Micheal will answer his phone for once. Give him and update on dad" he said but Hailey could always tell Danny was bitter towards Micheal. Danny never told Hailey that Micheal said he would look out for her but Hailey always knew that's why Danny was upset with Micheal.
"You know it isn't Micheal fault Danny" she said and he looked at her
"What" he asked
"The abuse, dad beating me up it wasn't his fault" she said
"I know that hails I never though it was" he said confused
"I know you wanted Micheal to look after me when you left for university and I know you feel like he failed to do so but it wasn't his job to protect me. He should have never had to protect me he was only sixteen" she said and he sighed
"I know that he shouldn't of had to but it wasn't even that he didn't look out for it was that he completely abandoned you" he said and Hailey knew how Danny thought.
"But he isn't you Danny, you've always been very protective over me. Always felt the need to defend me and shield me from dad and I get it because you felt like that was your job as my older brother to protect me but that didn't mean Micheal had to do the same" she explained
"But he said he would." he said
"I know Danny, I'm not oblivious but I also know that Micheal suffered just as much as any of us and he handled things differently to you and I" she said
"He didn't have it as hard because he was never around to experience anything" Danny argued
"And why do you think that is. He was invisible in our house hold and he blamed me for that which I get" she said and Danny was surprised
"How could he blame you hails" he asked
"Dad targeted me growing up so everything centred around me. Mom always came to check on me after dad got mad and beat me. You always stood up for me and dad always targeted me so I was the focus. Mom tried to make up for dads abuse by spending time with me and she would also respect you for standing up for me so she would always do stuff for you. She would make our favourite meals and buy us things to try and make up for her guilt and ever time dad said something it was to do with the two of us. Micheal he was nobody. Mom didn't spend any time with him dad never acknowledged he even existed and he was just expected to get on with life like he was a ghost. I spent so much time injured or in hospital I never spent time with him and you spent so much time trying to take care of me you overlooked him and that's our fault. When you left for university Micheal thought that maybe he could fill your shoes you know. Get that time with mom, spend time with me and get some kind of acknowledgment from dad but after you left nothing changed. It was still abuse Danny just in a different way. it was neglect. He felt like nobody would miss him if he wasn't there, like he was nothing, he tried to feel wanted so he spent time with people who actually acknowledged him and made him feel respected as a human. He never calls or texts us because he thinks we don't miss him and that he isn't wanted. He didn't visit dad because he feels like dad wouldn't even acknowledge his missing presence and just like you and me he is trying to protect himself from getting hurt" Hailey said and Danny never really thought about it that way.
"Hailey I get what your saying I really do I get that Micheal felt like he wasn't worth anything to anyone but he had distanced himself from the family long before things escalated. Remember dad only starting drinking and getting abusive when you where four. Michale was eight and I wasn't ten. Even when I was younger I would go play with you when you where born and Micheal would just go off and do his own thing. As much as we excluded him he excluded himself I get that it must of been just as awful to be in his position but he hasn't ever stepped up and put aside our broken childhood. I've tired I really have to reach out to him. To try and form a relationship with him now seeing we are older but he's so uninterested and I feel like I'm fighting with a brick wall" Danny said
"But it's his defence mechanism. We all have different defence mechanism. Yours is to go into protect mode and try and shield yourself and others especially me, mine is to shut out the world and put up all these walls around me and Michaels is to distance himself and we are all doing it for one reason and that's to try and stop ourselves from getting hurt because we all spent our childhood trying to block out the pain" Hailey said and Danny sighed
"When did you get so smart" he asked and she smiled
"I was born that way" she teased.
"We'll go inside and phone Micheal and have a conversation. See what's he's up to and give him an update on dad and we just have to keep putting in the effort and when he realises we're serious about wanting to see him and talk to him he'll start to also put the effort in" Hailey said and Danny just nodded and walked inside.
