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Chapter 34
Jessica's next class after lunch was Biology and she this would be the first time she would see Ryan since yesterdays drama, that was if he would even turn up. Jessica hadn't seen him all day which suggested to her that he was avoiding her and so was Elliot as Jessica also hadn't seen him all day either.
Jessica went to her biology class and as she walked in her teacher, Mrs Brown told her that they would be presenting their paired project to the class today and that they had to sit in their pairs.
Ryan wasn't in the class yet so Jessica sat at a table by herself. The good thing about this meant that at least she didn't have to sit next to Kim because she knew that Kim would just move and ask to swap seats with someone else which is what she had done in every other class today so far.
Jessica watched the door as more of the class started to come in but still there was no sign of Ryan. Jessica wasn't surprised she thought that there was a good chance that he would skip class just to avoid having to see her.
Just as the teacher was about to start the class Ryan walked in, "Sit next to Jessica because you will be presenting your project to the rest of the class," Mrs Brown instructed. Everyone else in the class started to whisper but Jessica could hear a few of the commenting on how awkward this was going to be.
"Do we have to present our projects today?" Ryan replied.
"Why yes you've all had weeks to complete this so I expect that it's done?"
Ryan nodded to agree that he had completed the project and walked over to sit next to Jessica. He moved his chair as far as he could to the other side of the desk so he was as far away from Jessica as he could be. Ryan had so far made no eye contact with Jessica and avoided looking at her by looking straight ahead at the teacher the whole time.
The first pair got up and presented their project which was on DNA and next the teacher called up Ryan and Jessica to present their findings to the class.
"Mrs Brown please do we have to do this?" Ryan begged the teacher.
"Yes you do," Mrs Brown replied.
"You don't understand but I really don't want to have to get up there and present this stupid project with her," Ryan said referring to Jessica.
Mrs Brown began to look annoyed, "You two through to my office now and I will deal with after class!" Mrs Brown opened the door and directed Ryan and Jessica to her office across the corridor.
"But please I don't want to have to sit in here with her for the rest of the lesson," Ryan argued back.
"Look I do not care what has happened here before you two got on great. I want you to sit in here and sort whatever it is out so that you can present your project tomorrow. Otherwise you will be getting fails which means that it will be Jessica's first ever fail and if you Ryan happen to receive one more fail you will be removed from the class and be dropped down to repeat last year since you grades were so low. The point in pairing you together was so that Jessica who is a very bright pupil could help you boost your grade Ryan," Mrs Brown went on to say how she would be very disappointed if they could not present their project before she left to go back to teach their class.
"Look Ryan I am so sorry about everything but despite all that has happened, don't let what I've done ruin your chances and make you have to repeat last year," Jessica said to Ryan trying to be sensible and put everything that had happened aside.
"You don't care about me you just don't want to get a fail," Ryan replied still not making any eye contact with Ryan.
"No it's not about me! If I get a fail, it doesn't mean much it just means I failed and my average grade will go down. If you fail you have to repeat a whole year and I know our project is good and I also know that you deserve to pass this and you are actually quite smart once you put a bit of effort in," Jessica replied.
"Jessica why did you do it," Ryan said changing the conversation and he finally turned to look her in the eye.
"I don't know it just happened," Jessica replied, "I was going to tell you both the truth and I never intended to kiss you both and I was going to choose between you".
"Who would you have chosen?" Ryan asked.
Jessica couldn't answer that question because even she didn't know.
"I take it the silence means him?" Ryan said.
"No! I didn't know I couldn't choose. At the lake I fell for Elliot hard, he was all I thought about and the thing I wanted most was to be with him. And then you came along and I fall for you hard as well and since then I've had the dilemma who do I like more".
"You know I would never hurt you the way he had hurt you already. He wanted to keep you a secret and not tell anyone then he ignores you and doesn't want to be your friend, then he's kissing you and telling you how much you mean to him. All I ever wanted was to be with you, and I was so happy when you said you wanted to be with me. The only reason I kept it quite was because you wanted to tell Kim at the right time," Ryan said. Ryan felt he had done nothing wrong to deserve what had happened to him.
"I'm so sorry," Jessica replied.
"You hurt me. I've never been hurt by a girl. I suppose it makes a change because usually it's me who's breaking other girls hearts and know I know what it feels like to fall for someone and then get your heartbroken," Ryan expressed. Ryan had never liked a girl the way he liked Jessica before.
"Ryan I promise I did not intend to hurt you and if I could go back I should have been more honest. I never even mentioned you to Elliot, he had no idea that I liked you. You knew about Elliot but I should have told you that I kissed him," Jessica said. "When you said you wanted to be with me I was so happy but then the next day Elliot tells me that and that is all I had wanted for months and suddenly that becomes reality. I was so confused, I still am".
"So you were happy to be with me and we would have been together if Elliot hadn't changed his mind and then kissed you and tell you he wanted you," Ryan said as he thought about the situation.
Jessica knew that it was probably true and that if Elliot had stayed with his word that they could not be friends then right now she would have been with Ryan.
"I know you said you can't answer this question but I bet if you think hard enough you will. But who do you have stronger feelings for me or Elliot?" Ryan just wanted to know the truth. He had never felt the way he felt about Jessica about anyone else before in his life and he hoped that Jessica felt the same way about him and that what she had with him was more than what she had with Elliot.
Jessica knew that Ryan had treated her better than Elliot had but then the situation between her and Elliot was a lot more complicated because of him and Sarah. One minute Jessica would think that it was Ryan she liked more and then the next minute she would think Elliot and the next Ryan and this cycle kept going through her head, making it almost impossible for her to choose between them.
"Jessica remember I like you and only you whereas Elliot is almost as confused as you because I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for Sarah but he likes you too," Ryan said trying to make Jessica realise that he was better for her. Jessica knew fine well herself that Elliot still had feelings for Sarah.
"Ryan I am so sorry for hurting you. I barley slept last night because I knew that I hurt both you and Elliot as well as Sarah and Kim and I am paying for it because everyone in school is calling me names and everything," Jessica said, "I have never felt this bad in all my life but I know there is no point in feeling sorry for myself because I deserve it. I should have been honest with everyone".
"Look I can tell that you are confused Jessica but let's just get through this project tomorrow and pass it," Ryan smiled.
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