1095.73 Days Without You
Chapter Seven: Thirty-Three Days Without You
The humiliation from yesterday's nightmare hung on Kagome's cheek through that night, through this day, and now to this very moment. InuYasha's name still sat on her lips and as she cautiously placed a single foot into the hallway, she prayed his stealth could be in each step.
In all of her sixteen years of life, Kagome never once felt intimidated by the darkness that spread across her home at night. Maybe it wasn't a fear of the darkness that had her now desperately tracing her hand along the hallway walls, but a fear of tripping and accidentally waking up her family on the way to the bathroom. Kagome could easily feign using it, but what if they could tell that she really wanted the nightlight? It made no sense that Kagome, a priestess who fought demons, would start depending on such a childish thing. Or maybe it wasn't childish. After all, the soft light was reminiscent of the camp fires that lulled her to sleep in the Feudal Era.
Kagome held in a sigh of relief as her fingers finally hit the entryway of the bathroom. If they asked, she was confident that her brother and grandfather would believe that she missed those nights under the stars but Mama wouldn't. She hadn't even spoken to Kagome regarding InuYasha's absence, and yet, Kagome found herself the recipient of countless concerned stares—the kinds with softly squinted eyes and even softer furrowed brows. Just the thought of them sent a shiver down Kagome's spine. But the shiver was short-lived as she found herself beaming at the small, plain nightlight. It was perched perfectly by the bathroom sink, and as her hands reached out and gently pried it free, Kagome couldn't help but note that it was warm to the touch. It was just like the camp fires she wanted to lie about missing.
-X-
Why am I still awake?
Shifting on her side, Kagome squeezed her eyelids shut even tighter. This was her literal ray of light returning to her own personally tainted Sacred Jewel. It was supposed to give her hope. Then again, the last time she returned light to the jewel, Naraku turned the rising hopes of Miroku and Sango against them. Kagome pulled the pink comforter over her head, stifling a groan. If she started comparing her current actions to her life in the past, she would definitely start sounding like Grandpa. She could already hear herself chiding Sota with a know-it-all, "Just because Sachiko doesn't like you back doesn't mean you should corner her like this catfish demon that existed five hundred years ago. You might make her call upon a light-hearted old flame that's now in a committed relationship."
Kagome dragged the comforter down her face, frowning. She blinked her eyes a few times before heaving a gentle sigh and traded warmth for the crisp night air. Again.
This time, as she hesitantly surveyed the hallway, Kagome found herself afraid to discover whether it was the darkness that scared her or if it was being pulled out of a nightmare before seeing InuYasha that was pinching her nerves. Although she reluctantly began readying herself for the answer, it only became another reminder that more than a month had passed since she, her friends, and InuYasha defeated Naraku—how had Kagome ever fallen asleep without them before today?
Kagome grasped the railing with one hand and wielded her flip phone like a torch in the other. Taking a daring step, she imagined how the late night would unfold if InuYasha were resting in her bedroom. Instead of the mini-shrine, Kagome would be headed toward the kitchen. She'd want a glass of water and every step would be excruciatingly slow so as not to disturb the resting half-demon. Of course that wouldn't work. InuYasha would get up and he'd approach her before she even made it down the first step. The blue light from her phone would illuminate his face and he'd squint, irritated. Kagome's feet wouldn't have made it down the flight of stairs, but instead would only have to close the distance between them. She could flip her cell phone shut without thinking about being in the dark and hold onto him. Kagome just wanted to melt before InuYasha, she wanted to be vulnerable and tell him everything—anything to hear his voice again. And so, when he'd whisper demanding questions, she'd relish at how his voice would rumble.
Instead, Kagome was nearly panicking at how the back door groaned as she tried to close it.
I need InuYasha, Kagome reminded herself, sprinting toward the well. She slid the doors of the mini-shrine open haphazardly, not bothering to close them as she padded down the stairs and over to the bone eater's well. "I can do this," Kagome said, as she pointed her cellphone's meager light into the darkness below. She sucked in a breath and positioned herself to make the jump. InuYasha. His name rang in her head as the wind caressed her cheeks. This plunge felt so familiar—like the dives she had taken confidently so many times before. This was her moment, she did it. Kagome was going to—
"Oof!"
It felt like the same wind that so lovingly guided her to the bottom of the well had found a way to not only enter her lungs but leave it briskly as her body performed an on-land belly flop. She pulled herself up quickly, coughing in shock. For the second time in one week she had found herself submerged in total darkness and it felt like there was no way out. Her hands felt around the earth in big strides as her coughing transformed to shallow breaths. When a small, blue screen shed a match's worth of light to life, those shallow breaths evened.
The ground seemed so innocent as it stared up at her, like it hadn't realized it could cause anyone pain. Rubbing her chest briefly, Kagome then reached her hand out to touch it. "This can't be the end, right InuYasha?" She asked, running her fingers along it. InuYasha couldn't answer her anymore, and somewhere deep inside, a part of her was beginning to suspect—"No."
-X-
A/N: Look, I know what you're thinking, "hanmajo, if Kagome belly flopped into the well from the top shouldn't she be severely injured?" And the answer is absolutely. But Sota did the same thing in volume three and he bounced back like a champion so it's only fair that Kagome gets one free pass. Trust me, she'll be using a rope ladder every time starting now.
The lyrics that correspond the most with this chapter come from Death Cab For Cutie's "Transatlanticism" which is on my 1095 Days Without You playlist.
"The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row—it seems farther than ever before. Oh no, I need you so much closer. I need you so much closer. I need you so much closer."
