1. A Long Time Coming

This felt like Karma, for all of the times Abigail skipped out on lunch dates or girls night with her friends, now here she was, stuck leaning back against a bar counter top as loud hip hop/club music played while some guy hit on her insisting to buy her a shot. She could see her friend Meghan behind him nodding while mouthing, "Do it!" Did I want to do it though? No, but this guy didn't look like the type to take rejection well.

The male ego... so fragile.

"Alright," Abigail says and he nods smiling a toothy, white smile as he puts his hand on her arm and orders two tequila shots with his other hand motioning to the bartender. As she was looking at his bony, white hand on her bare arm Meghan made small talk with the guy she was standing next to.

She was so much better at this than her. At talking, at getting her way.

"Here you go, do you need a lime?" The frat boy asks, and Abigail shook her head before downing the shot quickly, making the guy chuckle before shooting down the harsh liquid.

"Another?" Sure, why not.

Hours later, Abigail gathered her clothes on the floor at the frat house and headed out of the door while pulling on her blue shirt and zipping her jeans. She could faintly hear the music still going on downstairs from the after party, no doubt Meghan was still down there with Tony, the other frat boy from the club. Abigail thought about interrupting them to tell her friend that she was headed home, not wanting to do the walk of shame in the morning, but she decided against it when she heard the overexaggerated moans.

So, she brought up the car riding app on her phone, Abigail got the location of where she was as she shivered at the chilly midnight air, wishing she had gone against Meghan's judgement by bringing the sweater she desperately wanted to bring. Meghan thought that it would be pointless because everyone at the club was going to be dressing quote unquote, slutty. So, Abigail trusted her friend, leaving the sweater at home.

7 minutes later the car arrived, and Abigail slid into the backseat before pulling her seatbelt on and relaxing in the heated car.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Abigail tells the older driver before exiting the backseat, closing the door and jogging up the steps of her apartment building. Using her keys, she hooked onto her belt loop, she unlocked the front door and headed inside to the second floor. As soon as she entered her one-bedroom apartment, she went to the thermostat and turned it up before pulling her sneakers off and heading into the bathroom to scrub her skin.

Abigail didn't want to have sex tonight; she couldn't even blame it on the alcohol because she felt sober as soon as she left the club with her friend and the two boys. But boys didn't take the word no lightly and Abigail knew that if she had said no, then Meghan would have to leave with her. She didn't want her friend mad at her for making the boys throw them out, so she just went along with it. Abigail was hoping for some sort of release, but of course she was let down once again.

Once she felt clean again, she stepped out of the warm shower after shutting off the faucet and changed into her velvet pajama pants and an old sweatshirt from home.

2am, she read on the clock above her stove as she made a cup of coffee and then sat down at her computer desk, booting it up then opening the first drawer to pick at a pre-rolled joint. Getting up, she cracked her window, turned her fan on to bring the smoke out of her apartment and into the chilled night air.

"Hmm, so much junk mail..." She said to herself as she scrolled through it all to see if anything was useful while taking a long drag from the white joint in between her fingers. Abigail placed it down against the flower ashtray to take a sip of her warm coffee, then went on one of her many social media profiles to see what some of her other friends from home were up too.

Moving away to Boston, Massachusetts wasn't something Abigail thought she was going to do out of high school, but UMass was the only College that accepted her with a fully ride and it felt like an escape from all the issues at home. Now, 21 and a graduate, she felt like she hadn't accomplished any of her goals she set forth when she finally got up the courage to move from California at 17.

She wanted to make art and show it off to the world, but no one really liked the music she made. And then no one really liked her after students found out who she was and why she was desperate to leave her small-town Californian home.

"Wait, " Abigail said as she got a pop up on her computer that said she had a new email. Clicking it, it brought up a comment on one of her posts on a website that she had been posting on anonymously about her life struggles and how she was feeling now so she wouldn't be so wound up and angry all the time.

"THIS! I don't know how you read my mind, but this is how I feel too. It's so hard to just be nice to people when the pain you're suffering inside is just on the surface every day. It feels like drowning but you're still breathing, its fucking weird. The anxiety is a lot these days, but it's both sickening and enlightening to see someone else is dealing with the same shit I'm feeling. Makes me feel not so alone. Thank you - CH."

Abigail read the comment a few times. It made her sad that someone else could feel this way and understood the feeling of anxiety swallowing her whole every single day. Just as she was about to reply to his comment, another popped up.

"Beautiful poem btw, agoraphobia is fucking legit. -CH"

This "CH" person knew what that word meant? They probably had to look it up, no one knows what that means and if they did then... this person had to be Abigail's carbon copy.

"Thank you, CH., Also, glad to see someone else on this planet knows what agoraphobia is and isn't afraid to say it's a real thing. -AS"

Abigail waited for a response, knowing this other anonymous person was online but never received another comment. Sighing, she closed out her browser and brought up Among Us onto her computer as she smoked down the rest of her joint and drank down what was left of her warm coffee.