A/N Just one more and an epilogue after this. Keep in mind that this story is meant to be a two parter so don't expect everything to get resolved by the end of this one. That being said, thank you all so much for the reviews, most are positive which makes me very happy :). Thanks again!

Chapter 19: Jack and Sam

After spending the morning with Janet and Cassie, Sam decides to head over to Jack's house and talk to him. Both Janet and Cassie had wished Sam the best and had said that they hope everything works out. Sam still didn't know what she was going to do, she never dreamed of being in a situation like this. She knows what Mark wants, and she knows how she feels. She loves Jack and wants to be with him, but how can she be? How can she possibly keep dating her brother's wife's ex fiancé?

She pulls into Jack's driveway and sees a mess in the yard, and a broken shrub, and wonders what happened.

Sam parks the car and walks to the front door, she figures he's not home but knocks anyways. After a moment and no answer, she pulls out her key and lets herself in. She's had a key to his house for a few years now, and she has one to Daniel's and they both have one to her's and each other's. They all decided that they should all have keys to each other's places just in case of emergency. And of course Teal'c stays on base, so no key is needed.

As she walks inside, she glances around the room and sees something on the table just inside the door. She picks up the papers and looks at them. She feels kind of bad for snooping, but that guilt quickly turns to worry when she realizes that she's looking at three tickets. One for causing an accident, leaving the scene, and one for reckless driving. Now her worry has turned into anger, what in the world was he doing? Then she realizes that his truck wasn't in the drive so he must have gone to get it. He must have had an accident on his way back. He probably also saw Onica when he went to get his truck, seeing how his keys were inside her house. Now she's just mad.

Before she can think too much on it, she hears what sounds like a car pulling up outside. She peeks through the curtain and sees that it's Daniel's car, and Jack is with him, he looks fine. She's suddenly nervous, she thought she was ready to talk, even though she knew what she was going to say, now though, she's not sure. She takes a deep breath and opens the door and walks out.

Sam stands there and watches as Jack gets out of Daniel's car and slowly approaches her. She barely registers the fact that Daniel drove away.

"Hey." Jack says.

"Are you alright?" Sam asks.

"I'm fine." Jack asks, confused.

"I saw the tickets." Sam clarifies.

"Oh." Jack says.

"That's all you have to say? Oh?" Sam replies, feeling irritated.

"It's a long story." Jack says, taking a few steps closer.

"Then why don't we go inside and you tell me." Sam says, and turns and walks back inside.

Jack follows her inside and watches as Sam sits down on the couch. She's angry, he can tell. He promised himself that he would tell her the truth, so that's what he's going to do.

Jack sits down on the couch beside Sam, leaving enough space that they aren't touching, she's not moving away either. He takes a deep breath and tells her the whole story about Ronnie coming over with his truck and how he got the tickets, and about his license.

Sam looks at him in surprise, the whole thing sounds implausible to her, but with them, stranger things have happened. Besides, he looks and sounds sincere. "I imagine Mr. Webber wasn't happy about his car, he loves that thing."

"No, he was not happy, which, I assume, is why he sent a police officer to my house instead of calling me himself." Jack replies.

"Why did you take the blame for her? She's the one who did it, she's the one who should be paying the price." Sam states, matter of factly.

Jack looks down and then, after a moment, looks directly at her and says softly, "I didn't do it for her, I did it for the kids."

"The kids? I don't understand, what do they have to do with this?" Sam asks, quizzically.

"She probably would have been charged with drunk driving." Jack says.

"I don't mean to sound harsh, but that would have been her problem." Sam retorts.

"That's the kind of thing that stays with you for the rest of your life, even if it only happened once." Jack explains, slowly.

"I can understand that, but we all have to pay for our own mistakes." Sam says, still confused.

Jack looks down again at his hands and says, "My father was a drunk driver." He gives a humorless chuckle and continues, "He was a drunk everything actually. Anyways, I was terrified to get in the car with him. Never knowing if that would be the time he killed us or someone else. No kid should have to worry about that when they get in a car with one of their parents, not if I can help it."

Sam looks at him, shocked. She knows very little about his past growing up, but she's discerned that his childhood may have been more difficult, but she never expected something like this.

She reaches for his hand and says, "I didn't know that. I understand why you did what you did for Onica. Though I think this was an isolated thing, she's never had an issue before."

Jack looks her in the eye and says, "You didn't know her before."

"What do you mean?" Sam asks.

"When I knew her, she partied a lot, then again, she was only 18 when I met her." Then after a moment, continues by saying, "We both did things. Anyway, I stopped before she did, partly because I didn't want to get court martialed, and partly because I didn't want to turn into my father. She stopped soon after I did."

"Jack." Sam starts.

"Needless to say, this isn't the first time she's been known to drive impared. There just weren't any children involved back then, not that that made it alright." Jack says, cocking his head to the side.

"Why did you tell me all of this?" Sam asks out of curiosity.

"Because, I don't want to make the same mistake with you that I made with Sara and…" Jack says, letting the rest hang.

"What mistake is that?" Sam inquires.

"You may not want to hear this, but when I was with Ronnie, I never really let her in. She kept asking about things and I just thought she was being pushy, it led to a lot of arguments. With Sara," he pauses for a moment, then continues, "her biggest complaint is that she never knew what I was thinking or feeling. When Charlie...I shut her out completely. Though it wasn't until the divorce was final that she told me that if I had only talked to her we might have worked it out. That's when I realized that I was the problem." He looks Sam directly in the eye, "I don't want to do that with you. I swore to myself that when we got together that things would be different. I want to be open and honest with you Sam."

Sam squeezes his hand and says, "I appreciate that."

Jack takes a deep breath and says, "It's because of that, that I have to tell you," Jack looks at her, then down at their entwined fingers, "Daniel and I took Ronnie to the airport and she kissed me, and I kissed her back."

Sam stiffens, she knows she couldn't have heard him right. It's bad enough that he was engaged to her, and now he just confessed to kissing her. Sam slowly pulls her hand out of his, she has no idea what to say.

"Sam, I'm sorry, I never meant for that to happen." Jack tries.

Sam looks at him like he's gone mad and asks, "You didn't mean for it to happen? Just what did you mean then, Jack?"

"It didn't mean anything. I was just making sure she actually got into the airport and didn't do something stupid like come back. I didn't expect her to grab me, it happened really fast." Jack explains.

Sam stands up and walks a few steps away, she's so mad. How can he sit there and tell her that he kissed another woman, his ex fiancé no less, and that it meant nothing? She can't decide if she's more hurt, mad, or some other emotion she can't find a name for.

She turns back around and asks, "If it meant nothing, then why did you kiss her back?"

Jack stands up and walks over to her and says, "We were standing in the middle of a busy airport, I didn't want to cause a scene."

"And you think making out with someone isn't causing a scene?" Sam shouts.

"It wasn't like that Sam. It was one kiss that didn't last long. I'm sorry, it will never happen again," he says, hoping she believes him.

Sam feels tears start to prick at her eyes as she says, "Yesterday, the two of you almost kissed right there in the kitchen, and you're going to tell me that you didn't mean to do it?"

"That was an entirely different circumstance Sam. Besides, I didn't almost kiss her, she fainted, I was just making sure she was alright. I didn't expect her to lean in like that." Jack explains, trying to remain calm.

"All I hear right now is, 'Onica leaned in, Onica grabbed me,' you were there too Jack. When are you going to take responsibility for your own actions? If she really did grab you and kiss you, you certainly didn't have to kiss her back. You chose to do that, so don't blame everything on her." Sam says, tears flowing freely now.

Jack is stunned, he hadn't realized that he was shifting the blame from himself to Ronnie. He feels like he's been sucker punched in the gut when Sam's words sink in. He did choose to kiss her back. As soon as her lips were on his, he knew it was wrong, he could have stopped it. Instead, he was a willing participant. He really screwed up.

Jack reaches out for Sam's hand and is heartbroken when she pulls it away from him, he says quietly, "Sam, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm just as guilty. I hope you at least believe me when I say that I never meant for any of this to happen."

After a moment of silence, Sam asks, "Are you still in love with her?"

"No." Jack responds immediately.

"Do you have any feelings, whatsoever, no matter how small, for her?" Sam asks, hating the tremble in her voice.

Jack starts to deny it when Sam interrupts and says forcefully, "You promised to be open and honest, so tell me the truth."

Jack pauses for a moment and considers what she said, he did promise to be honest, so that's what he must do. "Honestly, I, I don't know."

Sam blinks back some tears and asks, "Do you want her back?"

"No." Jack says with conviction, then adds, "There were a lot of unresolved things between us Sam. More than just my inability to share my feelings. She left me, for someone else and I never knew why. Back then, if she had come back, then things might have been different. Now, Sam I don't want her back. I want you. I love you. No one else."

Sam considers him for a moment, she wants to believe him, forget everything that happened and just sink into his arms. She always feels better when he's holding her. Now though, he's the reason she needs comfort.

She always believed it when he told her he loves her, she could feel it and see it in his eyes. She's questioning that now. How can he love her when he just admitted to kissing another woman? Another woman that, at one time, he was also in love with. Her brother's wife no less. They've had some really strange things happen to them over the years, but this takes the cake. Sam feels as though her entire world has collapsed. She had it all planned out, she was going to move in with him, probably marry him at some point, maybe even start a family. She feels as though all of her hopes and dreams have gone up in smoke.

"You don't kiss other people if you're in love with someone else." She says, her voice tight.

"Sam." Jack starts.

"Mark told me to break up with you. That I can't be dating his wife's ex fiancé." Sam says, more in control.

"I know." Jack says. He wants to fix this, to make things right. But he doesn't know how.

"I was willing to go against his wishes, but now…" She says softly.

Jack takes a step closer and says, "Sam, I'm sorry, please we can work this out. I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you."

She looks at him sadly and replies, "I'm not sure there's anything you can do."

Feeling desperate, Jack says, "Sam, baby, I would change things if I could, but I can't change the past. I can't change the fact that, a long time ago I was engaged to Ronnie. I can't change the fact that she married your brother. I can't change the fact that I kissed her." He takes a breath and continues, "I'm sorry all of this happened, I really am. I never expected her to show back up in my life after all this time, and I never meant to hurt you. Sam, I love you."

"I know you can't change things Jack. After thinking about things I understand now how you didn't know that Onica and Ronnie were the same person. But you could have chosen not to kiss her." Sam says, sadly.

"I admit, that was a mistake, a huge mistake that I will never allow to happen again." Jack says, and he hopes she believes him.

Sam throws her hands up in the air and says, "And just how is this supposed to work? How can I possibly trust the two of you to be alone together, or even in the same room without worrying that there might still be some lingering feelings?" Then she asks, "Is she going to tell Mark about this?"

Jack looks down, he feels so ashamed. She has no reason to trust him, not after what he did. He looks back up at her and answers, "I don't know what she's going to tell Mark, all I knew is that I was going to tell you."

"And I appreciate that, I really do, but you have to understand that this is a very difficult position I'm in." Sam says, looking very serious.

"I know, and I'm so sorry for putting you in it." Jack responds.

"I get that it's not all your fault, but I now have to choose between you and my brother. And like I said before your little confession," she says, rolling her eyes, then finishes, "I was set to choose you, but now, how can I?"

"Sam, please, we can work this out, I know we can." Jack says, feeling desperate.

"It was bad enough knowing the two of you had been together, knowing you told her that you loved her. And now, knowing that you kissed her, today, how can I ever look her in the eye again? Look my brother in the eye, or keep this from him if she chooses not to tell him? Or worse yet, what if she decides to leave Mark because she's got it through her head that she can be with you?" Sam nearly shouts.

"I know, I screwed up Sam, believe me, I know." Jacks says, running his hands through his hair, a gesture he's been known to do when he gets flustered, then finishes, "There is nothing between me and Ronnie, I made that very clear."

Sam pauses, then says, "You already admitted to still having feelings for her."

"No, I mean, I didn't mean that. I meant that, whatever there was between us, is over. Yes, there were still some unresolved things, but I have no desire to reignite anything with her." Jack replies, then adds, "I'll tell you what I told her, she's the past, you're the present and the future Sam, you. No one else."

"But what about her? Maybe you have a handle on things, but does she?" Sam asks.

"I don't know Sam. I can't control what she thinks or feels." Jack reasons.

"But you can, at least partly. You kissed her back, that could have given her a glimmer of hope, made her start thinking things. Maybe stir up old feelings." Sam says, sardonically.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say." Jack says, sounding defeated. He hadn't considered how kissing her back might cause her to do something rash. He mentally kicks himself for not thinking about that, especially after all the things she had said the night before. There's usually at least some truth to what a person says, drunk or not.

"Where does this leave us?" Jack asks, afraid of the answer.

"I, I think I need some time." Sam says.

"Take all the time you need, I'll wait." Jack tells her.

Sam looks down as a couple tears roll down her cheek, then looks up and clarifies, "I mean that I think I need some time apart."

Jack's heart sinks at those words, "Sam."

"I can't be with you right now Jack. I need to think and I can't do that as long as I'm with you." She says, more tears in her eyes.

"Sam, don't do this, please, I'll do whatever you want, just tell me what to do and I'll do it." Jack pleads.

"Give me the space I need. Don't come over, don't call me, don't talk to me, unless it's about work." Sam states, looking off to the side, trying to stop the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Sam." Jack says, unable to believe what he's hearing.

"You asked what you can do, I just told you. You're still my commanding officer and I'll follow your orders and show the proper respect your rank demands," Sam says, firmly and quickly as she gets up and starts heading to the door.

"Sam, please." Jack tries, getting up to follow her.

"I'm sorry Jack, this is the way it has to be," she replies.

Jack can't believe what is happening, this weekend was supposed to be fun and now, he's losing the woman he loves. His heart is breaking and he only has himself to blame for it.

He looks down at the floor and asks quietly, "Is this goodbye for now, or for good?"

"I don't know." Sam says sadly.

He looks at her for a moment, "Well, then I guess we're all done here Major." Jack says. He knows using her rank is a low blow at this particular moment, but he can't help it. If he's going to have any chance of surviving this then he has to put as much separation between them as he can, as fast as he can.

Sam is not pleased at hearing her rank, but it's not unexpected either she thinks. She just nods and slowly makes her way to the door.

"Yes sir, I guess we are." If he's going to fall back on ranks then so is she. Then she turns back towards the door, and leaves.

Jack stands in that same spot for who knows how long. A couple of days ago everything was fine, great even. Now, it's all turned upside down. The love of his life just walked out the door, and she may never be coming back. He wants to believe that she will, that they still have a chance, that she'll forgive him. He knows one thing though, and that's that he'll never stop loving her, for as long as he lives. With that last thought, a lone tear makes its way down his cheek.