Hi Guys. Huge apology that is has taken me years to update this story, life has been super busy. I found I had already had this chapter but I do need to find the time to finish the story. Not sure if anyone still reads it as it's been so long but I did notice I had a few messaged asking me to finish, so I will try get it done asap!

Chapter 51

The car journey home from the hotel felt like the longest journey ever, the car ride was awkward, no one was talking. Sarah was still embarrassed by her outburst earlier on and lashing out and hitting Elliot. She didn't regret hitting him as she still felt he deserved it but she really wished she hadn't made such a scene.

Jessica didn't say a single word the whole way home and as soon as she got in the house headed straight to her room alone. Jessica has wondered how it would feel to have your heartbroken for a long time now she knew she was probably heading in that direction as she knew her and Elliot have no future, and now she truly knows what it felt like to have her heard broken and it was a million time worse than she had ever imagined. She felt numb she literally felt nothing, she has no appetite she didn't want to talk to anyone, she didn't want to do anything. Then she would stop feeling numb and fell so upset and angry. So angry she wanted to hit something and so sad she couldn't control the tears falling form her eyes.

Tom and Kate has really hoped this trip would bring the family closer together and they could solve all the issues there had been over the last couple months but they were wrong. Things hadn't gotten any better if anything they has only gotten worse.

Jake felt so torn. His best friend had upset both his sisters one is crying her heart out because he's left her heart broken and the other sister is so upset she is attacking him. Was he mad to still be talking to Elliot and considering him is best friend. What kind of best friend does that to you. Jake was closest to Sarah than he was to anyone out of his friends or family. So he had felt bad how he maybe hadn't shown her loyalty by also still being there for Elliot and Jessica. He had already fallen out with Elliot after he cheated on Sarah with Sophie and he didn't want to fall out again. Although Jake had never been that close to Jessica in the past as he was to Sarah it killed him as her big brother to watch her be alone and have no body so he really took it upon himself to be there for her. Jake had taken the role of peace maker on he was always trying to be there for everyone and all he wants if for everyone to get along.

Elliot was still shocked at what had happened he couldn't believe that he had called things off with Jessica and told Sarah how he felt for her to flip out the way she did. Maybe that was it Sarah really didn't want to be with him. Well she wasn't delighted at the idea anyway. Elliot kept asking himself what if I had made a mistake what if it is Jessica I should be with. Everything feels less awkward around Jessica. Elliot can truly be himself but with Sarah there is always the trusting issues since after the Sophie incident and Elliot can never bring it up without resentment from Sarah which is understandable. But with Jessica she never really minded if Elliot spoke about him and Sarah she didn't try to pretend that it never happened. Elliot started to think that he probably didn't deserve either of them. Why would Sarah or Jessica ever want to be with him now after everything he had done.

Jake glared out across the street towards the Murtaugh's house. Part of him wanted to go over and speak to Elliot see if he was ok after the Sarah incident and also let him know how annoyed he was at him for hurting his sisters. But then Jake really didn't want to cause anymore drama for one day. Another part of him wanted to go over and punch Elliot but he thought Elliot had probably taken enough of a beaten for one day from Sarah. Jake was mad at Elliot, even though he was trying to stay calm as he didn't want to fall out with Elliot again like he has at the lake but again it was Elliot who was central to all the Baker family drama. Elliot was making it very difficult for Jake to be friends with him when he is continually hurting his sisters. Jake knew that if this had happened a few years ago he would have punched Elliot by now, but after the incident of Mike running away it really changed Jake's outlook on life. Jake had never been so worried when Mike ran away he idea that something terrible could have happened to him really scared Jake. Ever since then Jake just wanted to have an easy life and he knew life was too short for confrontations and augments, that's why he had never lost his cool with Elliot again even though Elliot was making it very difficult.

Elliot sometimes wondered if him and Jessica was a massive mistake as all that achieved was an even more angry and upset Sarah which lead to her falling out with Jessica and now Jessica had her heart broken. But given the choice would he have changed what happened? Probably not because he built up such a strong relationship with Jessica that for the majority of the time made him really happy. Had he ruined the happiest he felt over the last few months all for feelings he just couldn't get over for Sarah. Elliot tried to tell himself time and time again that he was over Sarah as he loved Jessica now but he just couldn't stop loving Sarah. He was insanely jealous when she went on dates with Ethan. He couldn't go official with Jessica because he knew there was no turning back and that would be him and Sarah over for ever and that scared him too much. Elliot knew deep down he probably already had lost Sarah for good as she would have to be out of her mind to take him back after the Sophie incident and now this.

Kim knew things hadn't been great with her and Jessica for a while now and it did upset her how distant they were now having done everything in life together. Kim has always been very shy around boys and she kept wondering if only she was more confident she could have asked Ryan out along time and then him and Jessica would never have gotten together. Kim knew Jessica never set out to hurt her when she was paired with Ryan for the school project but still she felt if Jessica was developing feelings for Ryan the least she could have done was tell her. Kim left her room and walked down the corridor to Jessica's room, she was standing outside her bedroom door, she didn't know what she was going to say to Jessica but she felt he has to clear the air a bit. She just wanted to have a conversation and see if Jessica was ok after seeing how upset she was. As Kim stood there mentally preparing herself to speak to Jessica there was a knock at the door A couple seconds later Mark shouted up the stairs, "Jess! Ryan is here to see you!"

Jessica emerged from her room as Kim was still standing by the door about the knock to speak to Jessica. Jessica was surprised to see Kim there, "Oh hey was you just about to come in?" She asked.

"Ehh no it doesn't matter go see Ryan," Kim said with resentment in her tone. Kim headed back to her own room feeling unneeded, Jessica clearly had other people to talk to now that her and Kim hadn't been speaking. Kim was disappointed to see her speaking to Ryan she was Jealous still of Jessica and Ryan's relationship and just as she felt ready to talk to Jessica and clear things up she again started to feel mad now about the whole Jessica/Ryan situation. Kim knew that if she was going to make amends with Jessica that she either needed to get over Ryan or Jessica would have not be friends with him as it was too much for Kim to deal with feeling the way she did just now.

Jessica headed down the stairs to greet Ryan. She had no idea what she was going to say to Ryan, things had been awkward ever since the fight at the basketball game and then Ryan confessing his love for Jessica but giving her time and space to decide what it was that she wanted.

"Hey are you okay?" a concerned Ryan asked as he seen Jessica. Jessica walked over to him and hugged him.

"Not really I have just made such a mess of this whole situation," Jessica started to explain, "my parents are away grocery shopping you can come up to my room so we can talk in private." Jessica said as she lead Ryan upstairs as Mark and Henry was in the lounge area watching TV and it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have in front of them. Jessica knew she would have to tell the truth to Ryan about what happened with Elliot.

"What happened while you were away you sounded very upset?" Ryan asked.

"I have always been very honest to you about what happened between me and Elliot and while were away we had a little argument then he apologised and we did kiss but then I just did what I should have done along time I ago. I told him we are never going to work if we both love someone else, he loves Sarah whether he wanted to admit that or not and I told him I'm fed up being his bit on the side and he pretty much admitted to me he did still love Sarah so that was that we called it off and he obviously knows how I feel about you. I'm not going to lie to you I was heartbroken about it he was the first guy I ever loved, and I know I've fallen for you in during the time I was with him but it doesn't make it any easier Ryan." Jessica could feel a tear coming down her cheek.

Ryan wiped the tear away from her face, "Don't get upset Jess. I understand you loved that jerk and its been so hard for me to sit and watch you love him when he treats you so bad, he doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He keeps you on the side his little secret. I would never hide you from anyone. Jess I know you love him and that's why I'm not going to jump into anything with you, just like how you felt with Elliot you didn't want to be with him while he loved Sarah I don't want to be with you while you still love him. You need to get over him."

"I've basically lost both of you now," Jessica replied.

"You've not lost me I'm here for you and I'll be your friend for now which is going to be so hard as I really just want to be with you but as I said I don't want to be with you unless you're fully committed to be with me which means no Elliot you can't be in love with him while with me. I don't know how long it will take you to fall out of love with him but I want you to be sure its me you want I don't want you to only want to be with me because Elliot doesn't want you. Always be someone's first choice not second." Ryan really did like Jessica but he knew she needed a little time to know what she wanted, he didn't want to be her rebound.

"What if I never fall out of love with him?" Jessica asked, "Someone people say they never stop loving people but they learn to move on and live without them, he was my first love and I think that will always hold a place in my heart. I know it's fair enough of you to say that as I guess how you feel about me is very similar to how I felt about Elliot and Sarah I never wanted to be second best to Sarah.".

"Jess you mean a lot to me I shared so much with you and I don't normally open up to people so I don't want to lose you so don't think I'm giving up on us because I'm not I just know that for us to work we need to take it slow and not rush into anything. You're the only person I have opened up to about my dad's death and then my mum's boyfriend abusing me. Apart from my mum you're the only other person who knows about that. That is how much you mean to me and I know we haven't even known each other that long but I just felt that we clicked straight away" Ryan reassured Jessica that he didn't want to lose her. It was hard for Ryan because he really had fallen for Jessica but he didn't want to her to only be with him as a second choice as things didn't work with Elliot. As hurt as Ryan was about the situation with Elliot and Jessica seeing them both at the same time he had put that all a side as he didn't want to risk losing Jessica over it because at the end of the day he was fully aware of the Jessica and Elliot situation before he ever became romantically involved with Jessica.

"You mean a lot to me too Ryan and I definitely don't want to lose you either," Jessica smiled as she held Ryan's hand. Things were starting to become a little bit clearer for Jessica, Ryan had never done anything to hurt her he had only ever fought for her. It mad Jessica feel bad that she put Elliot before him when Elliot was too ashamed to be with her because of Sarah.

"Ryan I am so lucky to have you," Jessica gushed, "After all this you're still standing by me I don't even deserve you and I keep asking myself why I haven't lost you yet after everything with Elliot. Especially after I just told you I was kissing him over the weekend and stuff like does that not hurt you?" Jessica realised just how lucky she was as if it was the other way round and Jessica was hearing about Elliot kissing Sarah she would be really upset.

"Well it wasn't exactly something I wanted to hear that you was making out with Elliot over the weekend but I knew you was involved with him before I got involved with you, I knew how you felt about him from the beginning but it didn't stop me wanting to be with you. I think that's when I realised I liked you, after you told me about you and Elliot and how he kept you secret it angered me how he could treat you like that because if you was my girl I would showing you off not hiding you away and then over the next few days I started to realise I had developed feelings for you and it angered me that he treated you that way because I wanted you and I knew if I had you I would treat you right. That surprised me because you know my reputation I was a bit of a heartbreaker, I went from one girl to the next and it never bothered me that I might upset them when I dumped them but seeing how upset you was about Elliot it made me realise my actions have consequences and effect other people. You changed me!" Ryan had had plenty of female attention in the past and never struggled to find a date but the truth was he had never been in love, he had never had true feelings for anyone the way he did Jessica.

"I had no idea I had that effect on you," Jessica said as she started to realise the boy she started to do the project with, the arrogant and obnoxious boy wasn't the one standing in front of her anymore, in front of her now was a sweet and kind guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. Jessica had seen his sensitive side, she had even seen him cry. "You are nothing like I thought you was when we started this project. I remember the first say I met you before you came to study at my house and I was late the first thing you said to me was are you always this late? And I remember thinking oh he's a bit annoyed already and being rude but I has you so wrong. Your one of the kindest and caring people I ever met and I don't think I realised that till now." Jessica explained, as her first impressions of him were totally wrong.

"I think you bring out the good in me," Ryan replied as he knew no girl before would ever describe him in that way, they would more likely say he was a jerk.

Ryan looked into Jessica's eyes and could see she was being really sincere about what she was saying, "Jessica why don't we make a go of this and I know I said I don't want to be second best or be with you while you still love Elliot but why don't we take it slow, do it properly. I've never even taken you on a date, only study dates and that's not very romantic," Ryan suggested. He didn't want to rush into things when things between Jessica and Elliot has only ended but he thought if he could take her mind of things and allow her to let her hair down she would get over Elliot quicker.

"That would be really nice," Jessica smiled, "I'm so glad you came round my mood's come from zero out of ten to a ten out of ten, you really cheered me up and it was really nice to hear that I had such a positive impact on you, it's really put things into perspective for me. I've been wasting my time over something that was never going to work someone who didn't want to commit to me and you've been here all along and I have fallen for you but I haven't let myself fully fall for you as I didn't want to let go of something that I had with Elliot, well you know what I am ready to start letting go. I already have started, as I have fully accepted that me and him are over and have no future, so now I can start to let myself fully fall for you!" Jessica finally felt at peace and happy she knew it would still take time to get over Elliot and that there would be good and bad days but this was a start this was good and she could now focus her attention on Ryan and not have any more distractions and Ryan was something special.

"I'm glad I came round and we has this conversation," Ryan said as he go up to leave since it was getting pretty late, "I really want to kiss you goodbye but since we doing this properly and taking it slow I'm just going to hug you," Ryan said as held Jessica tight in his arms.

"Maybe if you're lucky you can get a kiss after the first date," Jessica teased.

"I'll text you to arrange something! " Ryan smiled as he left.

Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts and if anyone still reads this and wants me to continue.