TAKE ME TO WONDERLAND
Chapter 26
The last two days of their vacation had went over smoothly – much to Emma's surprise.
Although waking up next to Regina had her heart aching more and more, but Henry had saved her from going insane all over again by being the perky kid he was.
And then he had come up with what Regina had feared since their arrival – he wanted to go for a swim in the sea.
The brunette had almost fainted at his plea and horror scenario after horror scenario had played in Regina's mind, but in the end Emma had managed to calm her down and reassure her that nothing bad would happen to them.
And they had went for their swim in the ocean, all of them.
It had been a delightful experience in the end, even for Regina and it had brought the two women closer to each other once again.
They were growing with every challenge they mastered, with every obstacle to got over and they knew it.
But all good things came to an end at some point and so they headed back to Boston – with an unspoken promise to come back to Turtle Bay soon.
Settling back into her routine with work and all the other distractions had put Emma at ease.
At least a little.
It was weird to be home again, to have Regina and Henry stay in their own apartment when they had shared a suite for a full week, when they had spent most of their time together – day and night.
But it also gave Emma the chance to put a bit of distance between them.
A distance she needed to get back to the point of pretending that the family she had was everything she needed.
That what she had with Regina was all she wanted.
That it would be enough.
The next few weeks were filled with work for everyone, but then Ruby had announced that it was damn time for a night out since they had not done that in forever.
And to the leggy brunette's surprise Emma had agreed without much convincing.
Regina had tried to wiggle herself out of it, because she never had been the partying type.
Well, she could have been if Daniel had not happened.
But he had.
Henry had tried to talk her into going out though since she had never done that – not once since he could remember.
Of course Regina had come up with the argument that she had to work late anyway, but Killian had gotten her to agree that she would join them if she would not be too tired.
And Mary Margaret had offered that she could go home with her, because she would leave earlier than the others anyway, simply because she did not want to leave David alone the whole night.
The pixie haired woman's fiance volunteering to watch Henry had been the last nail to Regina's coffin, because everyone had looked at her expectantly and she had known that nobody would take 'No' for an answer anymore.
Not even her son.
Emma Swan and her insufferable friends be damned.
But secretly Regina could not help, but feel happy that the blonde and her friends seemed willing to move heaven and hell to have her with them.
And so Regina found herself in Killian's car the next Friday, in higher spirits than she had expected and her friend and boss seemed to be excited as well.
"Care to tell me why you are smiling, Mister Jones?" Regina asked curiously, a smile on her face as well. She was glad that Killian was doing fine, especially since it was the first time they were going out without Graham.
"A friend of mine is in town...a friend I haven't seen in a while. And she'll be joining us tonight...I can't wait to see her", he commented and Regina wondered who this mysterious friend could be, but she would find out eventually.
Entering the club through the VIP entrance was a completely new experience for Regina, but Killian had simply dragged her along and straight to the bar where they met Mary Margaret, Belle, Ruby – and to Regina's surprise – Jefferson.
"Where is Emma?" Killian shouted and Ruby tilted her head to the left and winked, "Maybe you should ask your friend from London."
The make up artist turned around to catch sight of Emma dancing with a familiar brunette and he squealed, "Oh my God, oh my God!"
Regina had turned as well and frowned.
Who the hell was that?
But before she knew it the beautiful tall brunette caught sight of Killian and rushed over, Emma hot on her heels and Killian pulled the stranger into his arms, "I can't believe it, love. It's been forever. It's so good to see you!"
And then he turned to face Emma, pointing his index finger at the blonde, "And you...don't you dare steal my Milah from me!"
Emma chuckled, "I wouldn't dream of it, Killian. She's all yours."
Laughing at Emma's comment Killian turned to face Regina once again, "Love...meet my friend Milah. We've met years ago in London while I was there for a job...she's this very talented pediatric surgeon."
Regina nodded and Killian kept the introduction going, "Milah...this is Regina Mills, friend and oustanding make up artist...and part of the family."
The taller brunette offered her hand to Regina, who took it hestitantly, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Regina. Emma has been talking about you a lot...all good things I assure you."
"Well, the pleasure is mine..."
God, this situation was awkward.
But why?
"Drinks", Emma interrupted all of a sudden and Killian grabbed Milah by the arm to go to the bar and order just that, leaving Emma and Regina behind to talk to each other.
The blonde eyed Regina warily, because something was off, but she had no idea what.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing. I'm just...tired I guess", Regina shrugged.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Don't worry about it, Emma."
And truth be told Regina would not have been able to give the blonde another explaination, because she had no idea what was going on either.
The evening had turned to be a fun one in the end – even for Regina.
There was a lot of laughter and yet she had decided to head home with Mary Margaret, because she was worn out from her week after all.
That had not been a lie.
Emma had offered to come with them, but Regina had insisted that she would stay with her friends and enjoy the night.
There was no point for Emma to go home already since Regina wanted to head straight to bed.
And she had done just that, completely unaware that her decision would open the door to an emotional chaos she should have seen coming from miles away.
But she had not.
Saturday morning Regina made her way over to Emma's apartment to check if the blonde was up and ready for breakfast, but when she opened the door to the penthouse she stopped dead in her tracks.
There was no sign of Emma, but standing in the middle of the living room was Milah, wearing sweatpants and one of Emma's tanktops, a cup of coffee in hand.
She must have heard Regina, because she turned round with a warm smile on her face, "Good morning, Regina."
"Uh...good morning?" she eyed the taller woman closely, but could not hide her confusion while her heart was beating out of her chest.
What the hell was that British...woman doing here?
Milah chuckled, "Emma went for a run and said she would get some fresh bread on the way back...for breakfast. Do you want a cup of coffee?"
Regina needed all her strength to stop herself from yelling at the other woman.
Who the hell did this Milah think she was?
Acting like she would be living here already when she had met Emma only yesterday.
But they had spent the night together.
And that was the moment Regina felt the bile rising in her throat.
Oh God...they had spent the night together.
"Are you alright? You seem awfully pale..." Milah stated and her statement brought Regina back to the here and now.
Hell, why did this woman have to be nice? She looked as if she cared.
"I...I better get going...sorry for...interrupting", Regina stammered out, not knowing what else to say.
Or do for that matter.
"Don't be silly. Emma said you would come over for breakfast. Together with your son...Henry, right?"
As if on cue the boy came rushing through the door and stopped right next to his mother, eyeing the stranger in as much confusion as Regina and Milah had to laugh.
"Who are you?"
His demanding tone made Milah laugh even more. Yes, the boy was definitely as adorable as Emma had said, "I'm Milah. I'm a friend of Emma's. And you are?"
Regina wanted to snort at that the comment. They were hardly friends after on night, now were they?
But of course she did not even blink, because she was uncomfortable enough as it was.
"Henry. Henry Mills", he stated before he grabbed Regina's arm and pulled on it to get her attention, "Can we make apple pancakes? You know how much I love them...and Emma."
It took Regina a moment to register her son's request, but then she nodded, "Very well."
Emma headed out of the elevator, cursing that she had forgotten time over her run with Tamotsu and rushed over to Regina's apartment, knocking fiercely.
She had to talk to the brunette before Regina and Henry would come over for breakfast, because she had a feeling that Regina would not take too well to the news that somebody else would joining them today.
When nobody answered the door it hit Emma that Regina and Henry would probably be already at her place.
Oh crap!
She went back to her penthouse, dreading to enter and she had no idea why.
But of course Tamotsu had no mercy and no patience for her to figure it out, because he started to jump up and down like a maniac and so Emma unlocked the door and entered, the dog rushing straight over to the stove where Regina was standing, almost knocking the brunette over in his excitement.
"Somebody missed you", Emma announced with a smile while Regina petted Tamotsu's head.
Henry was watching cartoons on TV and Emma took in the smell of apple pancakes, her smile only growing, but catching sight of Regina's tense shoulders made her realize that this breakfast could easily turn into a disaster.
Well, it had not been a disaster, but an odly silent affair in the end.
Milah had announced that she had to go, because she had to make an appearance at the hospital since she had been consulted for a difficult case by one of her colleagues, but she had promised Emma to call later, had asked if they could meet for lunch somewhen next week.
Regina had dropped her fork at the question and had excused herself, much to Emma's confusion and the blonde hoped that they would be able to talk once Milah would be gone.
But of course Regina had shut her down, had told her that she was just tired, that she had one too many drinks last night, - needless to say that Emma did not believe her one bit.
Clearly something was bothering Regina and she would be damned if she would not find out what it was.
Unfortunately she had not gotten the chance, because Regina had asked her to watch Henry, stating that she had some studying to do for a shoot next week and that Killian had told her to look into some books for inspiration.
Regina had been hiding in her apartment most of the weekend, avoiding Emma as much as possible, not even sure why.
So, Emma liked this Milah.
She could not even blame her.
She was pretty, she was successful and she seemed to be nice.
What was wrong with her?
She should be happy for Emma.
Maybe the blonde was finally ready to let go of the past, had finally gotten over her pain.
That was a good thing, was it not?
But something did not sit quite right with Regina, she could not put her finger on what it was yet though.
During the next week Emma had met Milah for lunch almost every day and they were getting along just fine.
Emma's relationship with Regina was getting worse by the day though.
The brunette seemed distant and tense, but Emma did not understand why.
She tried so hard not to miss any family time, dinner or anything – meeting up with Milah only when nothing relating Regina or Henry was on the schedule.
And yet Regina treated her differently.
It made no sense.
Till Milah pointed out over lunch one day that Regina might be afraid of losing Emma.
That she would probably fear that something would change between them now that Emma was dating again.
Kind of.
Because Emma had made it clear that she was not looking for a relationship, that this was merely a distraction.
Some fun while it lasted, because Milah would return to London eventually.
And they had been on the same page from the beginning.
Obviously Milah had gotten out of a relationship only recenlty and was not looking for anything, but a good time.
And that was fine with Emma, because she had not more to give anyway.
Regina felt not only helpless, but also desperate.
She had always known that Emma would eventually meet someone, but she had grown so accustomed to the life they shared that she could not handle the sudden change.
But what had changed exactly?
Because Emma did try to be there as often as possible. She had not missed out on anything although she was seeing this Milah.
And yet Regina felt like everything had changed when the only one who was acting weird was her.
She simply could not wrap her head around why, because it did not make any sense to her.
So Emma was seeing someone.
But she was as committed to her little family with Regina and Henry as ever.
What was the big deal?
Probably it was the fear that at some point it would get too exhausting to live two lives for Emma – one with them and the other with her girlfriend.
Because clearly no one would tolerate this behavior of putting a friend and her kid first forever.
And why would they?
One wanted a relationship with one person, not with a whole family.
And yet Regina had a feeling that she was missing something.
Something big.
Emma decided to go home early, because she knew Regina had a day off.
Maybe it would give them the time and the opportunity to sort a few things out, because Regina was pulling more and more away and Emma did not like it one bit.
Sure, things had happened in a rush, but she had barely been able to look at Regina anymore, afraid that she would spill her secret.
She had been so scared that she would not be able to keep quiet any longer that she had jumped right into an affair with Milah, who was a lovely woman – no question.
Milah was beautiful in and out and under different circumstances maybe they would have had a real chance, but the circumstances were what they were.
And Emma was as much in love with Regina as ever, no matter how hard she tried to get rid of her feelings. No matter how hard she tried to keep herself distracted, but it simply would not work.
Spending time with Milah was fun and all, but she missed Regina and what they had.
This certain closeness and understanding for one another, because lately it seemed that all that was left of their relationship was merely a part of a bridge.
A part that was obviously not stable enough to let her cross over anymore.
But how had that happened and why?
It did not make sense.
No sense at all.
Eager to rebuild that bridge Emma knocked on the door of Regina's and Henry's apartment, her heart racing in her chest.
Waiting for Regina to open the door turned out to be a painful experience altogether, but once the brunette appeared in front of her the pain only grew stronger.
What the hell?
"Emma, what are you doing here?" Regina seemed to be truly surprised and the blonde shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back, "I...uhm...I thought maybe we could talk?"
Regina opened the door wider to let her in and gestured for Emma to take a seat on the couch, which the blonde did without questioning and the brunette followed suit, "What did you want to talk about, dear?"
"Well..." Emma had to force herself to look at her, "The thing is...I mean...Regina, what's going on? Everything is so weird lately...and I just don't know what happened..."
Milah happened.
But of course Regina did not say that, "I think you are worrying too much...maybe we just grew tired of one another or something...I mean we spent so much time together and then we saw each other nonstop during our vacation...and..."
"You can't be serious, Regina! This is bullshit...and you know it. Things are awkward...is this about me seeing Milah?"
Emma regretted the question as soon as it left her mouth, because Regina's expression darkened instantly, "Your private life is none of my concern. Not when it comes to that...date whoever you want, Emma. I'm not your mother...you don't need my permission."
But what if I do?
"I know I don't need it...but something is bothering you...and I want to know what it is...because you are my friend, Regina. You are my family...and I don't want to lose over someone I..."
The brunette's stare became intense and uncomfortable, "Someone you what?"
Emma shrugged helplessly.
Someone who should keep my thoughts off of you, but clearly it's not working.
"Well, Milah and I...we are not exclusive or anything you know...this is just...fun. It's not like she's going to move in or anything. It's nothing serious...get what I'm saying? If me seeing her will rip us apart...then I don't want it..."
"So, this is what? Someone to pass time?" Regina could not understand why Emma would not be head over heels in love with this woman.
Milah was as perfect as it could get.
"Yeah, something like that...and she knows it...I've been honest with her from the beginning", the blonde tried to defend herself, but was not sure if her explaination had made it better or worse.
Regina frowned.
Nothing made sense to her anymore.
So, this Milah was not as big a threat as she had thought, but still.
She could not shake the feeling that something was off, but if it was not Milah...what was it?
"Will we be okay?" Emma asked desperately and Regina wished she could say 'Yes'.
She wished she could pull Emma into her arms and assure her that everything would be fine, but unfortunately she could not do that.
Simply because she did not know.
Milah had stopped by on Sunday, because Emma had promised her that she could use the printer in her home office.
Regina had not been too happy about it, but she could not forbid Emma to see her, now could she?
Henry had talked her into playing on the X-Box when Milah had arrived and Emma had been preparing lunch.
Of course Henry had invited Milah to eat with them and Regina had almost cursed herself.
She was glad that Henry was not so suspicious of people anymore, thanks to Emma and her friends and the feeling of safety they had provided them with from the beginning, but not this day.
Since Milah had introduced herself as one of Emma's friends a week prior Henry did not consider her a threat anymore and everything seemed to be fine for Henry.
But things were nowhere near fine.
Henry had taken up on the general tension between she and Emma, but Regina had told him that they were both just stressed out with work.
If he had believed her she did not know, but since they still got together for dinners and family time he did not consider it too serious a situation.
Yet.
And as if Regina had not already been in hell Henry suggested to take Tamotsu for a walk together – to show Milah the harbor and the ships.
They had done just that in the end and Henry had went on and on about ships and how he wanted to work in the field once he was grown up.
And of course Milah and Henry had gotten along just fine – she seemed to have a thing for children after all.
She was a pediatric surgeon for heaven's sake.
What had she expected?
Emma had been silent most of the afternoon, obviously too afraid to talk and scare Regina away even further and Regina's heart broke, because she knew their bond had gotten so fragile that it could shatter any second.
Seeing Milah joke with Emma, seeing them stealing glances at each other, witnessing how somebody else made the blonde smile cut through Regina like a knife, but she felt so utterly helpless.
But then it finally dawned on her what was so very wrong.
It was her.
It was her who should make Emma smile.
She should be the one to laugh with Emma, they should be glancing at each other.
Where the hell did that come from?
And more important – what did it mean?
Regina's mind was one big jumble once they returned to the penthouse, because she had not the slightest clue what was going on.
Henry stormed off to feed Tamotsu and Milah was talking to Emma in front of the door, because she had to leave for a dinner with a colleague soon.
And while Regina was relieved about the news she could not deny that she was feeling weird.
Weirder than before.
Confused.
Devastated even.
Where the hell did all that come from?
She kept asking herself the same question over and over again, but she had no answer.
And so she excused herself – to get something from her own apartment – but the truth was she just needed to be alone for a moment.
She needed to breathe.
Unfortunately her timing was as bad as it had always been, because when Regina was ready to head over to Emma's apartment again she caught sight of Emma, who was kissing the doctor – right there in the corridor.
It was the exact moment that understanding finally hit Regina as if she would have been struck by lightning.
It finally dawned on her what had been wrong all this time.
And as the very reason washed over her like a gigantic wave all color left Regina's face while her eyes grew wide in utter panic.
This could not be true.
A/N: Hello lovelies,
I just wanted to say that I know this chapter is a bit of a jumble...so will be the next one or two. But I did it on purpose, because the whole situation - as you can see - is a bit chaotic for the ladies right now.
But I assure you that it will be for the greater good in the end...as one of my lovely reviewers has pointed out: "I mean, she needs a little push figuring out what she feels for Emma, right?"
I've been debatting for a long while if I should go there, but at this point I have to say - it's the only option. Someone needed to "hit Regina over the head with it"...or she would keep living in her oblivious bubble for God knows how long.
The whole process of Regina coming to terms with what's going on might be painful at times, but it will be worth it...but we all know that nothing with Regina is ever easy ;)
Much love to everyone xo
