Are You Fucking Kidding Me?/Can We Pretend I Didn't Just Say That?

"Are you going to be able to help me, or are you too busy with work?"

Weiss looks up from the computer in front of her and sees Blake leaning against the doorframe of her office. A hopeful look on her face.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'm just editing this presentation for tomorrow. Do you want to go in there, or is in here fine?"

"Are you sure? Because I can just ask Yang to do it if you don't want to. She's just downstairs doing one of those workout video things she does in the living room. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

Clearly reading the situation, Weiss shakes her head quickly.

"No, no. I don't mind at all." Blake gives her a small smile, standing up straight.

"Okay, great. Let me go change and I'll be right back."

As soon as Blake disappears from the doorway, Weiss turns right back to her work and begins to read through her notes for what feels like the millionth time. She hated to admit it, but she was so distracted with work that she barely noticed Blake return, with an armful of clothing.

"Alright." Blake lays each outfit over a chair or on the coffee table across the room. "You're sure you want to help me? You aren't too busy?"

"Huh?" Weiss peers over the top edge of the computer screen. "Oh yes, of course. No problem."

Blake was running back and forth across the office, placing little accessories or items with each outfit before finally coming to stand in the middle of the room, facing Weiss.

"Okay, this is my first option. I figured it was simple, not too fancy, but still professional. You know, business like."

"It looks nice."

Honestly, it looks a lot nicer than nice. Blake was wearing a flowing, loose fit white sleeveless blouse and a dark navy pencil skirt. The neckline dipped just enough to where it caught Weiss' attention, but still remained professional.

"Um, okay." Blake had been hoping for a little bit more of a critique than 'nice.' But this was Weiss we were talking about. "I was thinking navy or nude heels if I wore this one."

"Uh huh." Weiss' eyes drifting back down to her presentation. "Remind me what this is for again?"

"The awards dinner? For the research institute? It's in a few days. And you said you would come with me."

Weiss can tell that Blake is nervous just mentioning the dinner. And she feels silly for forgetting. Blake had been working on her research for years and was finally up for an award which included a grant to further fund her study. Weiss felt awful and careless for forgetting.

"Oh wow, that came up fast. Feels like yesterday that you started your research project." Nice cover, Weiss. Internally rolling her eyes at herself.

"You don't have to go." Blake's shoulders slouch as she looks back and forth between two dresses, deciding which to try on next. "I know you're really busy with the presentation and stuff. I understand. Maybe Yang can go with me instead."

"Don't even suggest such a thing. I will be going with you, and there is no need to discuss it any further. I might be busy but that in no way means that I don't have time for you. Now, what is your next option?"

"This one I guess." Blake leans down and grabs a dark red dress off of one of the chairs. When she begins to remove the clothing she is currently wearing she notices Weiss immediately look away, back down to the computer screen in front of her. She can't help but take a jab at Weiss while she continues to change her clothes. "You know you don't have to pretend not to look. You've seen me in way less, many times."

"Doesn't mean I can't choose to respect your privacy." Her cheeks rosy, still averting her gaze as she hears Blake zip up the dress.

"Okay, what do you think about this one?" Blake does a little twirl so she can see the front and back of the dress before sharing her assessment.

"Unfortunately, red isn't my favorite color. It does look amazing on you. But I think for the occasion it may not be the best option. It's giving me 'I just killed my husband and I'm mourning him at the funeral in a sultry red dress' kind of vibes."

"Eh, I agree. It wasn't my favorite either. Ruby picked it. So sorry Ruby, maybe next time." Immediately unzipping the dress, letting it fall down to the ground and stepping out of it.

Peeking away from her presentation yet again, Weiss sees Blake move to grab a long dress, white with silver accents.

"Is that the dress you wore to the company holiday party last year?" Weiss asks, the tone of her voice comes out way more stern than she had intended.

"I think so, why?"

"It's too fancy formal for an awards dinner." She sees Blake huff in disappointment at the dismissal of a quarter of her options. "You do look beautiful in that dress, no question. But I don't think it says 'research institute award winner Blake Belladonna."

"Hm, maybe you're right." Standing in the middle of Weiss' office in her underwear, completely unaffected, Blake wanders over to the final dress. "What does the dress say?"

"It says 'watch me as I float majestically down these marble stairs with my girlfriend, who is obviously just as majestic. Oh, and happy holidays." Weiss points her pen towards Blake for emphasis at the very end, which gains a small giggle from Blake as she dresses once again.

"Alright, last one." Blake says as she models her final dress.

Weiss looks up to see an all black knee length dress that hangs off the shoulder. It's made from a chiffon looking material and has ruching all throughout the middle area. And then, then there was the back.

"Thoughts?"

"No. Take it off." Shaking her head back and forth. Trying to keep her thoughts in her head where they belong and need to stay.

"What? Why?"

"I just don't like it. No." Refusing to look up and meet Blake's gaze, or the dress.

"Weiss, this is a very important evening for me, and I really need your help picking out something to wear." Weiss hears the distress beginning to mount in Blake's voice, making her uneasy. "What's so wrong with this dress?"

"Please just take it off. We will find something for you to wear."

"Tell me what's wrong with this dress." Blake struggles as she reaches behind her back to undo the zipper and it finally falls to the floor below. Leaving her there, arguing with Weiss in her matching set of black undergarments.

"I just didn't like it, is all." Weiss really doesn't want to have this conversation, much less while the other half of the argument is nearly naked.

"Just tell me why you don't like it, please!"

"Fine! It makes your ass look huge. There? You happy now?"

Downstairs, Yang has just finished her workout and is refilling her water bottle in the kitchen. She has been the unknown third party to the entire disagreement going on up the stairs.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" The ferocity in Blake's voice garnering Yang's full attention.

Blake doesn't yell. So maybe this was worth investigating. Usually, she didn't get too involved in Blake and Weiss' business. And seeing as how they had been gracious enough to let her stay with them while her house was undergoing "renovations" to fix damages caused by what the insurance company referred to as "an act of God or other natural disaster" on the paperwork, she was willing to make an exception.

"Can we pretend I didn't just say that?" There is an unfamiliar tone in Weiss' voice. One she reserves only for Blake. It's almost pleading or apologetic in nature.

"This ought to be good." Yang says to herself as she begins to climb the stairs.

"You want me to pretend that you didn't just say my ass looks huge?" Blake says, not thinking Weiss would have the audacity to even suggest such a thing.

"Hey ladies, what's going on in here? Woah!" Yang immediately turns around once she sees Blake has on nothing but her underwear. "Sounds like you two are having a little bit of a tizzy in here."

"No we are-"

"Yes, yes we are. Thank you for noticing." Blake crosses her arms over her chest. Which only accentuates her chest, involuntarily drawing Weiss' eyes towards her.

"Now, now. What seems to be the matter? I'm sure there is a simple solution."

"Quit staring at my chest, you've currently lost privileges." Blake snaps at Weiss, who averts her gaze towards the wall.

"You can't exactly fault her for looking, cuz I mean, I looked." Yang shrugs and there's a small gasp from Weiss' side of the room. "Anyways, now you two make up. Because this is ridiculous. Weiss, you were being rude and an ass. And Blake, you have a nice ass. And we all know it. So there's nothing to fight about."

"That's not the point, Yang." Blake starts in but Yang holds up a hand to silence her.

"Tell her." Weiss rolls her eyes at Yang's demand. "Do it now, Weiss Schnee."

"Blake, you have a lovely ass. It is one of your very, very fine qualities. The fault lies solely with the dress and my lack of eloquence in expressing it in such a way."

"And?" Yang sticks out her neck, drawing out her words to match.

"And I love you and I'm sorry for being insensitive." Blake notices the sincerity in Weiss' voice, but still continues to tap her foot on the floor beneath her, arms still crossed.

"And you, standing over there nearly naked, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Apology accepted." Finally letting her arms fall to her sides.

"What else?"

"And of course I love you too, like it's even a question." Rolling her eyes at Yang for being so childish.

"Now that the two of you can quit being ridiculous, Blake, wear the blouse with the skirt. It's a business event, not a red carpet. And Weiss, I can recite your presentation from memory by now, so I know you can too, give it a rest."

"Okay." The two of them say in unison.

"Can't wait til I can go back to my own house with my own space, and no relationship drama."

"Hey! We don't have drama." Weiss says, clearly offended.

"And you could be at home, alone, right now if you hadn't burnt down your kitchen and half the dining room trying to make chicken nuggets in the toaster. Then lied to the insurance company and said the house got struck by lightning."

"It was for science, Blake. You of all people should understand. And put some damn clothes on. I know this is your house, but good grief." Yang waves her hand in dismissal as she turns around and leaves the room, heading down the hallway.

Blake begins to gather up all the clothes she's left scattered across the office. As she's about to walk through the doorway out of the room, she stops and turns back towards Weiss.

"You lost those privileges too, so quit staring."

Weiss immediately frowns and sits back down behind her desk. After a second of silence, Blake pops her head back into the doorway.

"You know I was completely joking, right?" Winking before disappearing once again.

Quickly, Weiss closes the lid of her laptop and runs off down the hall to regain her lost privileges.