"I can't live without her," Ares confided to his sister.
"I know." She took in his silver hair, lined face, and weakened frame. It was all an illusion to keep from raising suspicion and to let Xena experience growing old together though sometimes he was his true physical self around her. He didn't bother changing his appearance now.
She could have told him that mortals were dying from the moment they were conceived. She could have said that Xena had lived an exceedingly long life as a woman in her nineties, happier than most. She could have told him that such a love was worth any cost no matter how brief, and in fact guaranteed to be so when a god fell for a mortal, and he should just enjoy the time they had. These were all things he knew already and none of them would bring him comfort, so she listened.
"The circumstances that presented themselves in this life will never be the same. I can make her remember the first life because it was recorded in thread, but not this one. It won't be easy to win her back if I ever do."
"She'll see you as a frenemy and a former lover, not her husband."
"Exactly, and how can I convince her that I changed from the god I used to be and that we had a good marriage once. She won't believe me, and that's what hurts the most. I'm losing her for good."
"You can't know that," she tried to say brightly though her voice was still tinged with sadness. She knew too well as the goddess of love and an eyewitness to their romance the difficulties they would face in the future.
He ignored her attempt to make him feel better. It wasn't why he had come. "I'm afraid of what I will do when she's gone."
"Love can totally drive one to madness," she agreed. In a god, to love and lose was downright dangerous.
"Exactly. That's why I'm here. I've always respected her decision not to take up godhood, but because I do, there are safeguards I must make."
"Oh, bro, I can't take love away from you. My powers are limited on gods. I wish I could spare you this sorrow. Believe me, I would if I could. I'd have used it on my own self more than once."
"I know that. It's not what I'm after. You still have some of Hephaestus' chains, don't you?"
She hadn't been able to part with anything of Heph's after his death. "Yes. You can't be suggesting..."
"I need to be bound, to not be able to escape and have my powers rendered useless. I can't give up my godhood. We both know that too well what becomes of the world without a seated god of war, and yet, the world doesn't need a war god on the rampage either."
"But to be trapped like that." Tears were glistening and blinding her vision. "You're like the only family I have left on Olympus. I need you."
"I won't be any company. And it's not forever as I have a plan in spite of it all. I always have a plan where Xena is concerned."
sss
"You want me to lock you in a tomb?" Xena raged, her eyes a blaze of ire and incredulity.
"Hear me out," he said, her fire making him forget impending events and bring a tender smile to his lips. "And then tell me what you think."
"What I think is that you're out of your mind," she said as she settled back into her pillows. Even that small display of temper had sapped her strength.
"You know me better than anyone. You know I don't do heartbreak well."
"But life goes on. You know that. There'll be other women."
She referred ever so indirectly to Eve. "And that's why I know there won't be. I tried to fill the void with the closest thing I could find, but I never got over you. And when I lost you that second time, well, let's just say there were a lot of bloodbaths until I found you again. Too many."
"Won't it be different this time? You'll have Camilla to live for, our children and grandchildren, proof of our love."
"And then I'll have their children and their grandchildren. Camilla is aging by mortal time. She didn't inherit my immortality. I'll lose them one by one. Don't you see what that'll do to me? It'll be like losing a part of you again and again, losing a piece of my heart. And a god with no heart, well, I have no doubt it would cause me to return to my ruthless ways."
"But you're asking me to not have you by my side at the end."
He took her withered hand into his. "I didn't say it would be easy, but you must know it's the only way."
"Why must it be me that locks you in?"
"I wouldn't be as obliging for anyone else," he said, leaning over and kissing her forehead.
"I don't think I can do this."
"Yes, you can. You're the strongest person, I know, even now."
"Won't anyone be able to come along and free you that wants to?" She was still trying to convince him there had to be another way.
He shook his head. "Your chakram will be the key that unlocks it, an extra bit of security."
"How will that keep any fool from opening it who desires to unleash the power of Ares?" she asked with irritation. She was really just stalling for time. He knew she was coming around to his way of thinking.
"Only your descendant, our descendant, would be able to use the key. Even if they haven't inherited our penchant for war, my love of you, my love of Camilla, would keep them safe. I wouldn't do them harm, at least not permanent harm."
"I have a feeling there's more to this."
"I've already attached your spirit to the chakram and given Camilla instructions to break it in half upon your death and bury it in the tomb with us. When the chakram is whole again and in their hands, your spirit, which will remember all your lives when it's not attached to a body, will take them over long enough to see if my rage is sufficiently contained enough to release me. If not, back into the tomb I go."
"If I'm between lives, my guess is you'll still be angry."
"Probably, but if not, you will release me and go back to the life you're living. And I will find you. It's the best shot at another chance that I can think of."
"And we get another lifetime at some point in the future," she said, seeing for the first time that he wasn't giving up on them completely. And he was doing his best to protect innocent mortals, a truly changed god from the way he used to be.
"That's the idea."
"So in effect, I become your nanny for all eternity," she teased with a grin, "waiting until you finish your timeout."
"More or less," he said with an answering smile. Then soberly he said. "You'd be safeguarding the world like you always do."
"Sometimes I really hate being a hero," she said, the brokenheartedness heavy in the room again.
An hour later found them in the tomb. He was in the sarcophagus waiting for her to shut the lid and bind the chains. The tears were running freely down her face as they were his.
"Do me a favor," she said.
"Anything," he answered. A part of him was hoping she was finally asking for a bite of the apple.
"Let me see you as you were when we met, no guises just the man I fell in love with."
He did it, returning to his younger form, his hair going dark and just long enough for her to toy with his curls, the way he knew she liked.
She leaned in and gave him a parting kiss. It was full of love with a hint of promise.
She didn't say goodbye as she shut the door, and he was glad of it. Goodbyes felt too permanent. They would see each other again.
sss
He heard them outside the tomb, Camilla and Valentina. She was truly gone. Though he'd known it in his heart, the moment she'd passed. They had that kind of binding love.
"I've lost both of my parents on the same day," Camilla said, her voice ragged with grief.
"I know," she said, her voice equally broken.
"And the sad thing is the world doesn't even know the truth. To them, she was just Xenia, a warrior who once almost took over an empire but then settled into family life, and my father was just the man that loved her. They have no idea how rich their story was."
"I think that was a pretty great story in itself, love winning against all odds, but they won't forget this tomb holds Xena. Gabrielle's, I mean, my scrolls are here. Someday the world will know how a journey brought redemption to a warrior princess and to the god who loved her."
They left again. It was the first day of many days of darkness, figuratively and physically. The depth of his pain was enough to send him into the rage he had predicted. This setup mortals had wasn't fair: to live but a short number of years before fading away like the grass; it was wrong. He wanted to wipe out the foolish people who went about never knowing how brief their life was. He wanted to show them how little it was. He wanted them to be as angry as he was right now at the injustice of it all. He craved bloodshed of epic proportions, one that would envelop the whole world. Maybe then it would drown out the sadness that was the true source of his fury.
It wasn't healthy. Xena would not approve of his line of thinking and some small part of him agreed with her, but it was his true feelings. It was the only way the god of war could respond to having love and losing it.
He had no idea how long he would be trapped. How long did it take to heal from such an emotional wound? A thousand years? Two thousand? Never? He really didn't know, but he knew when he got out, he would do everything in his power to find her in her latest life, to make her remember. He would go about pursuing her awkwardly, fighting all the way, because he was the scorpion and that was his nature.
There were many things that had greater odds of happening than him and Xena: being struck by lightening, a meteorite hitting the earth, him being categorized as a saint. But a one in a billion chance did mean the possibility existed, and that small foothold was all love needed to hope and keep him going as he waited through the lonely years for a second one in a billion chance.
The End
A/N: This was my attempt to explain the incongruity of the glimpse of the future we saw in season 2 with the character development and story arc we saw in the last season. Hope you enjoyed. :)
