A/N: This is set about a year after the end of the series, and six months after my first Bebop fanfic, "Bittersweet Rhapsody". Please note that while this story does make a few references to that one, you don't have to have read it to follow what's going on here (though you know, if you wanted to, that'd be cool, too). There are some spoilers present, so proceed at your own risk if you haven't seen all of Cowboy Bebop yet. That goes double if you do decide to check out "Bittersweet Rhapsody".

Italics= Thoughts
Bold Italics =Song lyrics (This is a songfic, after all)

Standard Disclaimer: Cowboy Bebop belongs to Sunrise, BONES, Funimation, etc. The song "Far Away" belongs to Nickelback. All I own here is this little piece of fanfiction that I make no profit from. Now that that's all out of the way, please enjoy the actual story!


They stood with their backs to each other, the sun setting behind them. For a moment, neither one spoke.

Finally, Spike asked, "So, what's this about you wanting to leave the Bebop?"

"You heard me the first time. You know as well as I do how strained things have been between us, and I've come to realize that it's better if I leave before we end up hating each other completely." she answered with a shrug.

"Really? I'm surprised you don't think it's too late for that already. For you, especially." he commented with a smirk.

"First of all, you're just as likely to end up hating me if I stay. Second, don't make dumb jokes right now. I'm in no mood to hear them, and I don't want some wisecrack to be the last thing you say to me. Third, even if I should, even though I know it would make things a lot simpler, I don't hate you." Faye replied.

"I see. But you are still angry with me, aren't you?" he asked, more serious now.

"How can you ask me that, Spike? For half a year, I believed that you'd died going to avenge Julia. I had no proof of that, of course. Then again, I had no proof to the contrary, either. And the fact that you never came back seemed to speak for itself. Then we found you without even trying, alive and well in that rundown old jail. Once I was finally sure it wasn't just another one of the dreams I'd been having, I couldn't make up my mind if I was more relieved or furious. Eventually, I decided they were about equal, but you already knew that. Hmmm. And now it's been another six months. I've gotta say, this one's gone by a lot faster than the last. Still... I thought that by now, once the same amount of time that you'd been missing for had gone by again, I'd be able to let it go. But I can't. You just let me go on believing the worst all that time. And if it hadn't been for that one chance encounter, you'd still be away, and I would still believe that. Right now, I'd be thinking that we were only a few days away from the anniversary of, of..." She stopped there, biting her lip hard and balling her hands into fists, unable to say the last two words she'd been thinking.

"Don't do this to me, Faye. This is the hundredth version of this conversation we've had since I came back. I've explained it to you before, but you don't believe me. There's nothing I can do about that." Spike stated.

Despite the coldness in his voice, he was thinking, "I know. You have every right to still be mad at me, Faye. I never should have done that to you."

This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?

"Oh, right. Your 'explanation'. You thought I'd be better off never seeing you again. You never stayed anywhere long after you got out of the hospital. Just drifted from place to place. How can you expect me to believe that?!"

"Whether you believe it or not, it's the truth. I know you'd like to hear something more dramatic, or at least interesting, but that's just not how it happened. Sorry. If it makes you feel better, if the situation were reversed, I probably wouldn't believe a story like that from you, either."

"Dammit, I thought I told you not to make any stupid jokes!" Faye yelled, fighting back tears now.

"Right. Sorry." Spike apologized quietly.

Accepting that, Faye shook her head and said, "If the situation were reversed, and I wanted to lie to you, I'd come up with a much better story. And you know, I really would have expected you to put more effort into yours." Despite the tears in her eyes, there was a smile on her lips.

"Hey, that's not fair at all, Faye. You yell at me about making stupid jokes, then you go and do the same thing." Spike pointed out, also smiling.

"Point taken. I'm sorry, too. This is why I have to go, Spike. Because the way things are now, yes, we fight a lot. But we can also laugh at each other's dumb jokes more often than not, and we have some good times together. But it won't stay that way for much longer. Not with all this coming between us. Face it, we already feel a lot of resentment towards each other. Me towards you for keeping so many secrets, for leaving the way you did last year and being gone so long... And you towards me for prying into things you say are none of my business, and for refusing to believe the few pathetic answers you do give me. None of those feelings are likely to go away anytime soon, if they ever do. So one of us has to go away instead. Simple as that." Faye explained.

"I see. And nothing will change your mind?" Spike asked.

"What can I do? What is it that will make you stay?" he wondered.

Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left

"No, I don't think so. It's really for the best, you know. Even if I'm there, we'll keep growing apart. At least this way, if we meet again someday, we'll be able to face each other. Who knows - we might even be happy to see one another." she told him, starting to walk towards the ship.

"Just... tell me I'm wrong. Tell me it's not going to end up the way I think it will if I stay. If you can make me believe that, I won't leave." Faye thought, glancing back over her shoulder at Spike.

Then, she muttered to herself, "Right. Like that'll ever happen. I'd better start packing my things."

"Well, I can't stop you from running off if that's what you really think is best. But if you ask me, you've got the whole thing backwards, Faye." Spike finally answered, thinking, "This could go either way. She could agree with me and decide to stay. Or I might really insult her and make her go even sooner than she'd planned. But it's worth a try..."

"I don't have all night, Spike. So would you mind explaining what you mean by that?"

"Simple. When you said 'we'll keep growing apart', I couldn't believe you were serious. Faye, wake up. No, our... situation isn't what anyone would call ideal, but like it or not, we're closer to each other than either of us has been to anyone else in a long time. Even though it doesn't make any sense at all, that bond's only gotten stronger these past few months. And you say you're leaving so we don't end up hating each other, right?"

'Cause you know
You know
You know

"I'm not 'saying' that. It's the reason I have to go." Faye snapped, all the while thinking, "He's right. It's completely crazy, but it's true. Even though we should have drifted further apart by now, what's happened is the exact opposite. But things can't stay like that forever..."

"Right. Repeat that enough times, and maybe you'll get one of us to believe it. But, while I wouldn't go so far as to say I'll hate you for it, I think I'll end up holding more of a grudge against you for running away than I would anything you might say or do if you stay. As for you... Of course there will be things you'll get pissed off at me for if you stay. From the insignificant shit we always argue about, to the fact you'll never completely forgive me for last year. But if I just let you go, and we do run into each other again someday, you won't be happy to see me. You'll either hit me harder than you ever have, or you'll just act like I'm not even there. Go on. Tell me I'm wrong." Spike argued. For a moment, Faye didn't respond.

Finally, she sighed, nearly whispering, "Maybe you are and maybe you aren't, Spike. I guess I don't know for sure. I just have this bad feeling... Maybe my leaving won't save us from hating each other. Maybe it's already too late for that. But even if that's true, I still don't think my staying will do either of us any good. I'm talking in circles now, aren't I? And I'm wasting time. So, unless you have something a little more convincing to say, I'm gonna start packing."

"Something more convincing, huh? Seeing how you aren't willing to believe anything I tell you, that's gonna be a tough one, Faye. " Spike commented, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah. You've got a point there. So stop stalling." Faye replied, picturing the smirk on Spike's face and smiling in spite of herself.

"You know, there is one more reason for you to stay. I haven't said it because I know that, if you didn't believe what I already told you, there's no way you'll listen to this one."

"Just spit it out already. I told you to stop stalling."

"Fine. You should stay because if you leave like this... I'll miss you."

That I love you
And I have loved you all along

Faye was caught completely off guard, but, trying to keep that from being obvious in her voice, she replied calmly, "Oh, really? Well if that's true, I appreciate the thought, but it does bring up another question. While you were gone, did you miss me then?"

And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

"I've never admitted it before, but... yes. I missed you. Wondered how you and Jet were getting along, or if you'd driven each other completely crazy and gone your separate ways. I wanted to see you again, but..." Spike began.

He pictured the day he'd seen the two of them from a distance, so caught up in arguing over how a bounty should be split that they were paying no attention whatsoever to the bountyhead in question, who very nearly escaped from them. He'd almost approached them that day, been about a second away from calling out to them, when something had stopped him. The same thing that came into his mind now, as it had so many times in recent months: the memory of Faye trying to stop him from leaving that day last year.

With that image so clear in his mind yet again, he finished, "But to say I didn't think the feeling would be mutual is an understatement. Besides, whether you believe me or not, I thought that I'd put you through enough already, and you needed to move on. Coming back, even if I wanted to, just seemed selfish."

I keep dreamin'
You'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathin'
If I don't see you anymore

"Coming back would have been selfish?! Two problems with that idea, Spike. The first is that it sounds just a little too noble for you. And the second... How could you possibly think that the best thing for me was to go on believing that I'd never see you again? That you'd died, and maybe it was my fault." Faye said, grateful that she and Spike still had their backs to each other, so he couldn't see how badly she was trembling, couldn't see the tears now flowing down her cheeks.

"Look, I know now that it was the wrong decision, but at the time, I did believe it was for the best. I guess there's a reason they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And what did you just say?" Spike asked, hoping he'd heard Faye wrong.

"You heard me the first time. When I thought you weren't coming back, I couldn't help thinking that I should have tried harder to stop you from leaving in the first place. I felt that there had to be something I didn't think of. Something I could have said or done, that would have made you stay. And if I'd done whatever that was, then you wouldn't have left. You'd probably have resented me like hell, sure. But you would have been there. I would have known that you were alright." Faye said quietly, keeping her head down and letting her hair fall around her face.

"Faye blamed herself for what she thought had happened? I knew she was angry and hurt, but I never guessed that. Just like I blamed myself for Julia's death..." A wave of guilt washed over Spike. He looked over his shoulder at Faye. Even with her back to him, he could tell she was crying.

He walked over to her, slipped his arms around her, and whispered, "All the times we've been over this, all the times you've screamed at me for it, you never told me that part once. Why?"

Faye considered pushing Spike away, then, changing her mind, explained, "There wasn't any point. Because you see, I realized I was wrong. I came to understand that there was nothing I could have done to stop you that day. And you were wrong when you said I'd never completely forgive you for how you left. The truth is, I already have. It took a while, but I did come to understand that you did what you felt you had to do. I don't hold that part against you. I did, but not for months now. What still hurts... What I'm still mad about is... You're not going to make me say it again, are you?" She turned her head to look up at him, waiting for his response.

"No. Are you going to make me tell you again that I was trying to make things easier for you, not harder?" he asked, trying to sound casual, trying to hide the fact that, for the first time, he was starting to wonder if maybe letting Faye leave would be best, after all.

"No. If I do that, then even though she'd be the only one going anywhere, we'd both be running away from things we need to face." he decided, tightening his hold on Faye and knowing that time was running out.

On my knees
I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance

"I'm not going to make you, but you just told me again, anyway. And I don't know if you're starting to wear me down or it's just because I'm so exhausted, but I'm actually starting to believe you, or at least consider believing you. And if you are telling the truth, then I'd have to say you're even more of a jerk than usual when you're trying to be nice. Oh, and one more thing. Have you noticed you're bleeding? Granted, it doesn't seem to be anything compared to some of the injuries you've come home with in the past, but it's not exactly just a few scratches, either. You might want to stop trying to talk me into staying and go have Jet take care of you." Faye answered, giving Spike a weary smile as she gently slid out of his grasp and brushed a drop of blood off a cut on his forehead.

"That can wait. You said yourself, these injuries aren't that serious."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't be hurt at all if you hadn't come to save me. Again. Thank you, and I'm sorry." Faye pointed out as she found a handkerchief in her pocket and held it against the cut she'd touched before.

"That's okay. It was worth it." he told her with a grin.

'Cause with you
I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand

"Why, because I'm doing this? It's nothing. I just don't want you bleeding all over me. Besides, I figure it's the least I can do for you before I go." Faye said, more than a little startled as Spike grabbed onto her free hand, holding it tightly.

Instead of answering her question, he brushed a tear away from one of her shining green eyes, saying, "And this is the least I can do for you, seeing how it's my fault you're crying in the first place."

"Dammit. You're hurt because of me, I'm crying because of you... We really are bad for each other, Spike. Yet another reason I should leave. We cause nothing but trouble for one another." Faye was laughing and crying at the same time now.

"True, but it sort of seems to work for us, don't you agree? Of course, I can't speak for you, but I really don't even mind it anymore." Spike replied.

I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up

"I must be more tired than I realized, because I actually do agree with that. Hmmm. There. This one seems okay now. But the others really need to be bandaged." Faye told him, gesturing at the injuries on his arms and left side. She shoved the stained handkerchief back into her pocket, glad she'd at least stopped the bleeding from one wound.

"I really wish I didn't have to leave. But I know it's for the best. At least, I hope it is." she thought, reluctantly starting to pull her hand away from Spike's.

Not letting her, and as if reading her mind, he asked, "You don't really want to leave. And there's certainly no one forcing you. So why are you going? You say this is for the best, but I doubt you believe that. And if by some chance you do, just remember, I thought the same thing about not coming back to the Bebop. You aren't any less wrong now than I was then."

'Cause you know
You know
You know

"How dare you! How can you even compare the two? This is nothing like what you did. Well Spike, great job trying to get me to stay. If I had any doubts at all about leaving, you just erased them completely. And now I really do need to go pack. So let go of me." she growled, glaring at Spike and pulling her hand sharply out of his. With that, she stormed off, striding purposefully towards the ship.

"That bastard! I can't believe even he would sink so low. This is nothing compared to what he did! But then... why did the exact same thought cross my mind? Even if it was only for a second, there's no denying it was there." She slowed down just a bit, knowing that, yes, part of this anger was over what Spike had said, but most of it was because those words had hit a nerve, and she knew he was right.

"No. He's not right. He's just messing with my head like always, and I can't let him get to me. At least the lunkhead got me too mad to cry anymore." she mumbled to herself, picking up speed again.

"Fine, Faye. Run away like you always do! Just remember, there isn't going to be anyone coming to save you when you get into trouble this time! So have fun in prison, or with whatever nutjob you get kidnapped by!" Spike yelled, following Faye and thinking, "After all, how am I supposed to come get you if I don't know where the hell you are?"

That I love you
And I have loved you all along

"Oh, don't worry about that. So long as the nutjob and my cellmate don't remind me of you, I'm sure I'll have a great time!" Faye yelled back, all the while thinking, "And you just try not to get yourself killed. I do have to come back to see Ed once in a while, and I don't want to hear that news when I do. Mourning you once was enough. I couldn't take it again."

And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreamin'
You'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathin'
If I don't see you anymore

"So, there's nothing I can say that will change your mind?" Spike asked as he finally caught up with Faye.

"No. I think we've pretty well covered that fact. If you want, I'll turn around and we can see if the two of us can at least manage a proper goodbye. But that's the best you're gonna get." Faye replied, continuing to walk away from Spike, but slowing down considerably.

So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know
You know
You know

"Sorry, not good enough. And I already figured there was nothing else I could say, but you never mentioned... there being something I couldn't do." With that, Spike pulled Faye into a tight embrace, turning her around in his arms, and kissed her. Once the initial shock wore off, and she was able to react, there was a split second where she thought about resisting and shoving him away. Instead, she returned the kiss and threw her arms around him.

When it did end, she asked, "So, what was that for?"

"For starters, if you still insist on leaving, whatever your idea of 'a proper goodbye' is, I thought that would be better. Even you aren't argumentative enough to tell me I was wrong about that one."

"Well, I suppose you have to be right once in a while." She rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

Cupping the left side of Faye's face in one hand and sounding just a little more serious, Spike whispered, "All this talk about you having to leave before we end up hating each other. It's a nice cover story, but be honest with me. What you're really afraid of... is the exact opposite, isn't it?"

That I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed

Faye gasped, then stammered, "What, what are you saying? Do you mean...?"

"I mean, Faye Valentine, that it's much too late to worry about that. I already love you, and I have for some time now." Spike confessed, staring straight into Faye's eyes.

She'd wanted - needed to hear him say that for so long. Now, she had to struggle to get out the words, "Maybe I'm afraid of both things. After all, there's a stronger connection between them than most people realize. One can lead directly to the other... and I've known for nearly a year now that I love you, Spike Spiegel."

I need to hear you say
That I love you
That I love you
And I have loved you all along

She wrapped her arms around him tighter, and he did the same in return, letting her cry on his shoulder.

"I can't say when it started, but I first realized it the day you left. As for when I first admitted it, to myself or anyone else, well, that wasn't until I told you just now." she confessed with a laugh, then asking. "And you?"

"I've known for a long time, but I was even more in denial about it than you all along. And when I first admitted it? I only beat you to it by a matter of seconds."

"God, I don't know if this is scary or just pathetic! I guess we don't have much choice but to stay together. I mean, who else is going to put up with either of us, huh? To think, if even one of us had owned up to how we felt sooner... Wow. I don't even know how to finish that thought. Things could have been so different. This past year... might have never had to happen the way it did." Faye exclaimed, laughing at first, but then becoming serious, gripped with regret.

And I forgive you
For bein' away for far too long

"Stop. Talk like that is pointless. Nothing we say or do now can undo what's already happened. Besides, even if we did take the hard road to get here, I can't complain about where we've ended up. You?"

"No. I don't suppose I can. As dysfunctional and crazy as our relationship seems, you're right. It works for us. For all the detours and wrong turns we've taken, I'd have to say that yeah, we've ended up in a pretty good place. And who knows? Maybe it's for the best this took so long. If one of us had said something sooner, if we'd taken an easier path, so to speak, then it's possible we could have just crashed and burned by now, ya know? And..." She would have said more, but was cut off abruptly by Spike's lips pressed against hers again.

"You talk too much. How many times do I have to tell you, stop dwelling on what could have been, what might have happened. You need to pay more attention to the here and now." he explained, pulling away from her just enough to speak.

"In other words, you're kissing me to shut me up now? Charming." she replied, rolling her eyes and pretending to be annoyed.

"Like you taking care of my cut just so I don't bleed on you is better?" he teased, doing the same.

"Point taken. So, what do we do now?"

So keep breathin'
'Cause I'm not leavin' you anymore

"Well, we could just stay like this for a while longer. Except now that you've used up all that adrenaline from being angry at me, you look about ready to keel over from exhaustion."

"Yeah, and you really do need to get patched up."

"That settles that, then. Looks like we have no choice but to help each other back to the ship before we both collapse where we're standing." He let go of Faye for just a second, then slid his arm around her waist again.

Believe it
Hold onto me
Never let me go

"That would be bad. We'd worry Ed for nothing, or maybe confuse her into thinking it was some sort of new game. And Jet would be furious if he had to carry both of us inside. So come on. Let's go home." She leaned into Spike's hold on her, letting him lead her back to the Bebop.

Keep breathin' '
Cause I'm not leavin' you anymore

They walked in silence for a moment, which Faye broke by saying, "I'm going to try to do what you said, and not dwell on the past so much. I'll also try not to worry so much about the future. Today's reminded me, it's impossible to predict. I want to focus on the present, but there's one thing I want to make perfectly clear, right now, just in case it ever comes up. If there is ever anything, anyone else from your past that you need to face, I understand that. But you need to understand that I'm coming with you, no matter what." She turned her head a little, looking up at Spike with an expression that was dead serious, despite her smile.

Believe it
Hold onto me
Never let me go

"Hmmm. That's fine. So long as you understand that the next time you take off for Earth in the middle of the night, chasing after something that could be a memory, or maybe just a dream, there's no way you're going without me. Got it?" Spike agreed, the look on his face matching Faye's.

Keep breathin'
Hold onto me
Never let me go

"You've got yourself a deal, Spike. And somehow, I don't think either of us is going to try and welch on this one." Faye said, brushing away the last of her tears.

"Good. Just know, I'm going to hold you to that, Faye." Spike promised.

"And that's perfectly fine, so long as you just hold me." she thought contently. She almost said it aloud, but decided against doing so, figuring that, between Spike pulling her closer, and her holding onto him even tighter, nothing else needed to be said between them just then.

Keep breathin'
Hold onto me
Never let me go

THE END