A/N:
Thanks for all the love! I mean it...thank you all so much for the support and the love for this story.
I can't even begin to describe what it means to me. I'll make an attempt once we've reached the last chapter, but the end isn't here yet.
We are now on chapter 43 - which means there are still 7 chapters left. And an epilog as well - which I plan on posting on New Year's eve.
So yeah, we really are nearing the end, but it's not over yet. There is still a lot to tell.
I will sit down tomorrow and answer your lovely reviews at last - I'm sorry I've been slacking on it so much, but you all know how it is with life and the curveballs it throws you at times.
To all the guest reviewers: thank you all! I wish I had a way of answering your comments, but I can't. Please know your words are appreciated all the same and maybe some of you consider creating an account or login in - so I can thank you properly.
Enough with the babbling...I shall let you read the next chapter! Enjoy it...and I'll see you all with chapter 44 next week.
Much love,
raven
TAKE ME TO WONDERLAND
Chapter 43
Regina reveled in the warmth she felt when she woke up.
She also reveled in the feeling of being so close to Emma, of having no barriers between their bodies anymore.
Regina ran her fingertips over Emma's arm, careful not to wake her still sleeping girlfriend and took a moment to take in...everything.
Ever since Emma had shown up at Gold's establishment Regina felt like she had fallen through the "real" rabbit hole as her life had taken so many turns, but all of them for the better.
It was so surreal and yet it was her reality now, only that her reality felt like Wonderland had come to life.
She had friends, she had a great home and a job she enjoyed every minute of every day, no matter how difficult some of her clients could be.
And then there was Emma.
Regina could not even begin to describe what Emma meant to her or how much she loved her.
She had been so convinced that she was unworthy of anyone's love, other than Henry's, that she would spend the rest of her life alone. She had not been able to even imagine being with someone ever again to begin with and yet here she was, in the arms of the woman, who had proven to her time and time again, that she did matter. That she was worth something, everything really.
The lengths to which Emma had gone to protect her was something Regina still had trouble understanding and accepting, but she would do the same for Emma in a heartbeat.
She felt the blonde stir then and Regina could not even believe how giddy she felt at the prospect of looking into Emma's eyes again.
She proped herself up on her elbow to watch every twitch of Emma's facial muscles until those sparkling green eyes finally opened, reflecting pure joy and happiness and a beautiful smile spread on Emma's face, "Hi."
Regina chuckled and bent down to kiss Emma, "Morning, dear...pancakes?"
Emma shook her head, "You have to be very strong now, Regina..."
The brunette blinked in surprise, unsure of what was to come, but Emma, sweet, kind and caring Emma Swan, of course knew she would immediately expect the worst, so she grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, "I love your pancakes...your food in general. More than anything I love you...so I'm going to make you breakfast today. And we're going to have it in bed. Crumps and all...deal with it."
She pecked Regina on the lips quickly and jumped up before the brunette could have protested.
Living with a control freak like Regina was a bit of a challenge sometimes, not that Emma minded. She had gotten used to it fairly quickly.
Not that they were actually living together as Regina and Henry had their own aparment, but then again they spent as much time together as possible and sleeping apart became a bigger dilema every time. It was too early to talk about it, Emma was aware of that, but she knew that the day would come eventually.
Regina had laughed out loud when Emma had appeared with a tray full of scrambled eggs, fruit, croissants, jam, freshly pressed orange juice and coffee, wearing nothing, but her kitchen apron about twenty minutes later.
Emma raised an eyebrow in challenge, "Is there a problem, Miss Mills?"
"No problem at all. Just get back into bed, I'm starving", Regina chuckled and Emma smiled, "As you wish."
She handed the tray to Regina and was about to sit down when Regina shook her head, "I'm sorry, but the apron has to go. It's hideous, it can't be in this bed."
Emma burst out laughing at Regina's sassy comment.
God, she loved their easy banter. And she loved Regina's flirty side that was coming out more and more because the brunette felt comfortable and safe around her.
It was heart warming and truly wonderful. There was nothing that made Emma happier.
So she took off her apron and slid back under the covers, ready to dig in when Regina cleared her throat, "Can I...can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
Regina tried to keep her hands still, but failed miserably, so she started drawing circles on the comforter, "I...uh...you asked if I wanted to...to be your date...for the wedding..."
"If it's too early...it's not a..." Emma tried to reassure, but Regina interrupted her, "That's not what this is about. I want to...I...just...I don't know...it's stupid...but I don't want our first date to be quite so...uh...public."
Emma's eyes grew wide instantly, "Shit, Regina...I didn't even think about that...I'm sorry...I..."
"Hear me out?"
"Uh, sure...sorry, Regina...please, continue."
Regina reached out and took Emma's hand, "I just thought that maybe...we could go on a date...before...before the wedding. I just remembered that Henry has a sleepover next week...on Saturday...you know it's Owen's birthday party."
"Oh", Emma smiled, "Of course. Yeah, absolutely."
Regina lifted their joined hands and put a kiss to Emma's palm, "I'll pick you up at 7."
"I'm looking forward to it."
Emma and Regina had spent most of the day cuddled up in bed, sharing stories of their childhood, both of them trying to focus on the good memories for a change.
Regina had told Emma about her father mostly, but one or two nice things about Cora Mills had found their way into the conversation as well and it had made Emma wonder what had happened for Regina's mother to turn on her daughter the way she had.
Emma had told Regina about her fondest memories with her parents once she had been adopted and it had reminded her that she had to call her mother to check in on her and thank her for her help and support once again.
She was not ready to talk to her father although she knew that he had only tried to protect her, to protect his family, but she was still so mad that he did not trust her judgement at all. That he was not willing to give Regina a chance.
Once Henry had come home, Tamotsu in tow, they had gone for a walk together and the boy had immediately recognised that his mother and Emma seemed so much closer. They had flirted and joked around all evening and he could not have been happier about the development because he wanted them to be together more than anything.
He might not have a father, but he had found a second mom in Emma and he wanted things to stay that way.
He wanted them to be a family. A real family.
Regina had suggested that Emma should invite her mother for dinner, which Emma had done without protest and Christine Swan had glady taken them up on the offer.
Dinner had been a lovely affair, but Emma had known right away that things between her parents had to be terribly wrong when her mother had mentioned that she would be staying at the hotel for a while and she could not stop herself from feeling guilty. Neither could Regina.
When Henry had insisted on showing Christine his book collection Regina had taken Emma aside and had told her that she thought it best if Emma would offer her mother to stay with her for the time being as Regina did not want the woman, who had done so much for her, to be on her own during this surely difficult time.
Emma had agreed and had talked to her mother once Regina had taken Henry to bed.
Christine Swan's first reaction had been to decline, not wanting to burden anyone, but Emma had insisted and had assured her that she would enjoy having her. That her whole family would love to have her around for the time being and it had been that moment that Christine Swan had fully realised how much Emma had changed.
How family orientated she had become and how well it suited her and she could not have been happier for her daughter. It had made her see that she had done the right thing and it had also given her the strength to face the consequences, no matter what they might be in the end.
Neal had called Emma the next day, asking for help in regards to Mary Margaret's and David's wedding as he was planning a little surprise for the charming couple and Emma had been all too willing to help.
While they had been talking business Neal had offered to help her plan the event for his father, which Emma had accepted gladly and not only because she would have more time with Regina and Henry, but also because she liked working with Neal.
He was competent, reliable and creative and she had a feeling that she had found a new friend.
Neal had opened up about his complicated relationship with his father eventually, telling her that his mother had left them when he had been only seven because his father was so obsessed with money and power. He had also mentioned that there had to be a reason why he had always been so focused on becoming wealthy, as if Gold had wanted to prove something, but that his father had never revealed his reasons. They had been close, Neal and his father, until Neal had become a teenager, capable of understanding what his father did to make money and how he treated people in order to achieve his goals. Everything had gone downhill from there. Neal had left for college and things had been okayish for a while, but during one of his visits he had witnessed his father hitting one of his employees because she had been too sick to work that day and that had caused the fall out they had faced afterwards, following a massive fight he had had with his father that day. Neal had made a career for himself far away from his father and had only now found his way home because he had promised Graham. He had not had the heart to deny his dying friend his wish.
Neal had also told Emma that he was looking into staying around after a long and serious conversation with his father, but also because he wanted to know if things with Killian could go anywhere and that he was looking for an office. Emma had promised to let him know if she heard anything about available locations, but then another idea had popped into her head. An idea she had to give some thought before she would voice it to anyone, but one that was definitely worth considering.
Ashley had shown up for lunch on Sunday together with her little daughter Alexandra, much to Regina's delight. She had been surprised how much the girl had grown during the last couple of months and they had spent a lovely afternoon while Emma and Henry had been to the zoo with Ruby.
It had made Regina see once more how lucky she was and she wished that there would be something she could do for Ashley, especially since another winter would be coming soon and God knew that building was in a horrible condition.
But the truth was there was nothing much she could do because she could not risk crossing Gold again, well aware how much the people around her had sacrificed to get her away from him.
She had offered Ashley to come stay with her though in case it would get too cold or any other emergency would arise and her former colleague had been rendered speechless for a moment as she had never expected anything like that.
She had known that Regina was a different person as soon as she had caught sight of her when she had been at The Rabbit Hole, but it was only then that she saw how much Regina truly had changed. For the better.
Regina was happy and although Ashley was a little bit jealous, she was also well aware that if anyone deserved it – it was Regina.
Regina and Emma had talked about Ashley for a while that night, simply because Regina was worried about the young blonde and her child and she had not been able to stop her thoughts.
Emma, who had stayed with Regina every night ever since her mother was living in Emma's penthouse, had listened patiently, understanding quite well where Regina was coming from as she could remember all too vividly how much she had worried about Regina all those months ago.
She had made a mental note to talk to Neal about the whole situation while a plan started to form in her head. Maybe they would be able to help Ashley out, but Emma would keep quiet until she knew because she did not want to get Regina's hopes up for nothing.
Regina had been quite restless that night and it had taken the brunette forever to fall asleep, but Emma had managed to calm her down eventually, simply by being there and holding her in her arms, providing the comfort and the safety Regina needed.
Work had been busy the next week, but Regina and Emma had managed to get home at a reasonable time every day to spend some quality time with Henry. They had taken him to the movies and to the harbor, had played video games and even a few board games together and Henry had pointed out that they were basically living together Thursday night after they had shared a delicious dinner with Emma's mother like every evening lately when the trio had made their way over to Regina's apartment.
Emma had winced at his comment, sure that it was still too early for a conversation like that, but Regina had only smiled at him and had told him that that was what family did and he had nodded enthusiastically.
It was only when they were lying in bed together that Regina adressed the topic once again because Emma's reaction had not gone unnoticed, "No worries, I'm not planning on moving in with you, Emma."
"What?" Emma's eyes went wide, "I...what did I do?"
"Nothing. But I saw you wince...I know it's too early", Regina stated softly, but Emma eyed her closely, "Is it really?"
Regina was confused. Emma had look outright miserable when Henry had pointed their current living arrangment out while she was so glad that she got to fall asleep and wake up next to Emma every day. She had never thought she would ever crave anyone's presence like that, but she did.
She knew it was selfish and that Emma probably wanted some peace, silence and alone time, but she dreaded the moment Christine Swan would leave and Emma would go back to her penthouse.
The Swans had not made up yet, but at least they were on speaking terms again, so it would happen eventually and Regina did not look forward to being on her own again.
Their work schedules conflicted at times and they were both busy in general and she had no problem with that, but the thought of Emma not holding her during the night truly made her feel lost.
"I've been thinking about our living situation for a while now", Emma stated all of a sudden, "But I thought it would be too early for you. And I didn't want to pressure you...that's why I winced when Henry mentioned it."
Regina let that sink in for a moment, "So you...you wouldn't mind...us living together...like really living together?"
Emma smiled, "Of course not. As you already pointed out. It's what a family does...and we are a family."
"That we are", Regina agreed, "We really can't do anything in the right order, can we?"
Emma chuckled, "Well, our whole situation is a bit...unusual...I agree. But it works for us, so what does it matter."
"True...so, are we really considering this?" Regina asked to clarify and Emma nodded, "Yes, we are. It's a stressful time with the upcoming wedding and all, but we could sit down and talk about it once that is out of the way, what do you think?"
"Sounds good to me", Regina agreed and smiled.
"Before I forget it", Emma took the brunette's hand and squeezed it, "I think I'll go to the cabin for a couple of days after the wedding...to check if everything is okay out there."
Regina's face fell instantly, "Oh. Okay."
She remembered all too well how horrible it was the last time Emma went there with no reception and everything. Then again the situation had been different as everything had been so uncertain. They were in a way better place now, but that only meant that she would miss Emma even more.
"I was wondering...if you wanted to come with me?" Emma looked at her expectantly and Regina looked at her in surprise. The cabin had been Graham's sanctuary and now it was Emma's and that she was willing to share that with her...well, it meant a lot.
"I already talked to my mother...she said she'd watch Henry since Mary Margaret and Charming will be gone...honeymoon and all...only if that would be okay with you. Otherwise we could ask Ruby and Killian or..." Emma added, suddenly unsure, but Regina only smiled at her girlfriend's thoughtfulness, "I think that's a wonderful idea. Henry loves your mother. Your parents really. And I know your mother would never let anything happen to him...she's been incredible around him."
Emma nodded, "I know. I think all this fighting with my dad...it was good for her. She finally stood up for something. I always knew that she is a strong woman, but she always did what was convenient and now...it did her good. And I know it's probably a horrible thing to say considering things between my parents are shitty right now...but I'm so glad she did this for me. That she put me first and helped me to keep you safe."
Regina pulled her closer wordlessy and put a kiss to Emma's forehead, "They love you, Emma. The both of them. I get that you are mad at your father, but please talk to him...he was trying to protect you as you were trying to protect me. You can't blame him for that."
"I'll try to talk to the both of them...because I don't want them to fight when things could be okay for all of us."
Emma met up with Neal on Friday to offer him the vacant room in her office and he agreed instantly as he too loved to work with Emma and they agreed to work together more often in the future. Sure, they both had their clients and everything, but some projects would definitely allow a collaboration and since they were both well known and successful in their field of work it was a promising idea.
"Why isn't your last name Gold?" Emma asked completely out of the blue, but she had been wondering ever since she had learned that Neal was Gold's son.
He laughed, "Well, I took my mother's name after that nasty fight with my father...for two reasons...I wanted to get back at him for being such a horrible man and second...Neal Gold...sounds like a pimp, doesn't it? And considering I wanted to specialise in planning weddings...", he laughed out loud and Emma chuckled as well, "Fair enough. But...do you regret it?"
"No. I might be able to forgive him if he keeps his word and does better in the future...but I don't want to be associated with him all the time, you know? It's not that I'm ashamed of him or anything...but he and I...we are two very different people."
Emma nodded in understanding, "Yeah, I get that. I really hope you can fix your relationship though. He made a lot of mistakes and he surely is a very flawed man, but he's also still your father."
It dawned on her then that the same could be said for her own father, who had not done anything wrong or terrible like Neal's father had.
He had tried to look out for her and while Emma was not happy about his decisions or the way he had handled the situation he was still her father too. And they really needed to have a conversation somewhen soon.
Regina was ready to leave work Saturday afternoon when Killian stopped her with a smile on his face, "Nervous?"
She nodded, "I know it's ridiculous, but this is a big thing for me...a big step. I mean we are going on our first real date...and I want it to be perfect."
Killian reached out and Regina took his hand, allowing him to squeeze hers, "And it will be. She'll love it, Regina...'cause she loves you."
He reached into his jacket pocket with his free hand and pulled out an envelope, "There was a post it – note on it...saying that I would know when the time is right...I think it is now...God, I hope it is or God knows Graham will haunt me or something."
He chuckled and Regina smiled at him before she took the letter with a slightly shaking hand.
"I'm sure you got it right, Killian", Regina raised herself on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you...for everything."
She only opened the letter once she was home, sitting on her couch with a steaming mug of tea. She was aware that she should get ready, but she also knew that she had to read Graham's letter first.
And after staring at it for ten minutes Regina finally found the courage to open it and reveal the message Graham had left for her.
'Dear Regina,
no, I've not forgotten about you.
So, you are going on a date with Emma after all. Good for you!
(Gosh, I really hope Killian does not fuck this up and has the good sense to give it to you at the appropriate time or I might have to pay him a visit in his dreams and scare the crap out of him!)
I know you are nervous and probably even scared, but we're talking about Emma here.
We both know you'll always be safe with her.
I also know that the two of you are meant to be together. I knew from the moment I first saw the two of you together and even more so when I saw you two together with Henry and I took that picture I sent to Emma.
I just knew.
Emma is in the best hands, I could see that right away, because your love for her is so evident in your eyes. You might not have been aware of it during our conversation in the park, but clearly you are now.
Be assured that you are in the best hands as well.
You and Emma, you are one of the lucky ones. You have something very special, I would even go so far as to say what you have is unique.
It is the stuff fairytales are made of.
Trust one another, respect one another and love one another and you will always be fine.
Have a great life together.
I'm sorry that I won't be around, but know that I will be watching over you and your family, Regina. I promise you that.
We might not have known each other for long, but I will miss you anyway.
I'm glad Emma found you – because I know you'll have each other and therefor you'll always be okay and taken care of. The both of you.
And now hush...it's not the time for tears. You can't show up looking like a crying mess although Emma wouldn't care. She'd love you all the same. I'm sure we can agree on that.
But still...go, get dressed and enjoy your date!
Love,
Graham'
