A/N: Hello everyone!

I'm back. Didn't think we'd see each other again so soon, did you?
Honestly? Neither did I.

Chapter 45 of "Take me to Wonderland" has been a challenge I hadn't anticipated, but one of the reasons I didn't update in so long was this chapter.
The rest of the story is already written, but I couldn't figure out how to approach this chapter for the longest time.
I was scared, to be honest.

It always felt like this chapter would either make or break the story.
It still does.
And it petrified me because "Take me to Wonderland" is my heart story.
It's so incredibly close to my heart. More so than you'll ever know.

Lately, I've felt it in my fingertips though. That it was time to tackle this chapter.

So, here I am and I hope that I managed to do the characters and all of you justice.

Special thanks to Mariah for believing in me and this story whenever I doubted and struggled.

There was a time when I thought I'd never finish "Take me to Wonderland", no matter how much I wanted to because I felt stuck and frozen between chapters and had no clue how to get myself to actually try and write this one.

Mariah reached out to me and became my friend and someone I can confide in and it's been such a blessing. It still is.

Being here today - I owe it to her.

Thank you, dear, for believing in me when I couldn't and for being patient and understanding instead of pushing like so many others.
It meant so much and it always will.
My gratitude and friendship are forever yours.

And now on with the story, because there are still a few chapters to come, a few adventures to be told.
xo


TAKE ME TO WONDERLAND

Chapter 45

They had danced for a while without a care in the world.

Just Emma and Regina.

At first, Regina had been tense, especially after she had caught so many of the wedding guests staring at them.
People, who knew the Swans and had business relationships with them. People, who would judge and gossip. It had made Regina feel a little ill, but Emma couldn't have cared less. She had pulled Regina closer, had held her tight and then she had kissed her while they had swayed over the dancefloor, for everyone to see.

There had been gasps and whispering, but after the initial surprise people had calmed down and Emma had smiled at Regina with so much love, green eyes sparkling with delight, and the joy had radiated off of Emma in waves. It had been infectious and Regina had finally managed to relax while her own smile had lightened up the whole place.


They had fallen into bed, exhausted to the bone, as soon as they had gotten home, glad that Ruby had already picked up Tamotsu the day prior because the dog would stay with her during their absence.

Emma was aware that Ruby was still struggling at times when it came to living in the apartment that had once belonged to Graham and having Tamotsu over helped Ruby a lot because it was the dog Graham had chosen after all.

Henry had left the wedding celebrations together with Emma's parents because he had been tired out after a day full of excitement and Christine had offered to leave earlier so Emma and Regina could stay with their friends a while longer.

Emma had hesitated, but to her surprise, Regina had agreed with a thankful smile on her face.

They had agreed to bring Henry's things over in the morning and it had been Roger, who had surprised everyone then, by inviting Emma and Regina to have breakfast together before they would leave for the cabin.

Emma had been baffled, but then it had dawned on her that something must have happened between her father and Regina because both of them had seemed a bit more comfortable in the presence of the other.

Good.


She hadn't gotten close to enough sleep with getting home late and getting up early, but Regina had dragged her out of bed mercilessly as Emma had made her promise.

Thankfully their bags had already been packed and they only had needed to drive over to the Swan estate where food and coffee had been readily waiting for them.

To everyone's relief breakfast had gone smoothly and so had the drive to the cabin.

They had arrived in the late afternoon because Regina had insisted that they stop and buy groceries on the way although Emma had told her that they could simply drive into town at any time, but Regina hadn't budged, the memory of how bad a state Emma had been in when she had returned from the cabin the last time.

She wouldn't take any chances.


They had cooked together and Emma was glad that she had followed through with the make-over of the cabin after her last visit.

A farmer from the village nearby had overseen it all in Emma's absence and she had made a mental note to thank him properly while they were there. Graham had been friends with the man, that was how Emma had known that he would be trustworthy.

The farmer truly had proven incredibly helpful because he had been in the picture about all the renovation plans Graham had had for the cabin and Emma had followed them and now the place was way more functional and more importantly – comfortable.

Emma and Regina had spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch, cuddled up under a blanket, in front of the fireplace and they had talked about wedding impressions and how much their lives had changed ever since their paths had crossed that fateful night at The Rabbit Hole.

Regina had also told Emma about her conversation with Roger and Emma had been relieved to hear that her father seemed to be coming around after all.

It had been a relaxing and calm evening, which Emma and Regina had been incredibly grateful for because they really needed a moment to breathe after the whole wedding madness.


The silence of the place had allowed them to sleep in and after a hearty breakfast, Regina and Emma had gone for a walk.

The fresh air and the forest smell had worked its magic on both of them. It had also brought out the child in Emma, much to Regina's amusement.

They had joked around, laughed and held hands like teenagers while they had explored the area surrounding the cabin, the world outside their bubble forgotten for the time being.

Emma had thoroughly enjoyed seeing Regina so carefree and unguarded and she had vowed to bring Regina to the cabin more often.
Next time they would have to bring Henry as well because there was no doubt that the kid would love the place as much as them.

They had been so busy goofing around that they hadn't noticed how the sky had turned darker and darker until the first raindrops had fallen.

But once it had dawned on Emma and Regina that a thunderstorm was headed their way they had run back to the cabin as if the devil would be after them.


By the time they stumbled through the front door both of them were soaked to the bone and laughing hysterically.

"Go, take a hot shower", Emma stated with a smile and moved a dropping wet strand of hair out of Regina's face, who shivered noticeably, "I'll start a fire in the meantime."

Regina nodded gratefully and disappeared into the bathroom and Emma busied herself with putting the kettle on the stove to make tea before she tended to the fireplace.

When Regina returned to the living room a couple of minutes later, wrapped in a big, fluffy towel, the fire was already roaring and filling the cabin with warmth. Two steaming mugs filled with apple – cinnamon tea were sitting on the couch table.

"I'll take a quick shower as well", Emma announced and dashed off, eager to get out of her wet clothes because the fire had only done so much to keep her from freezing.


Emma walked into the bedroom after her shower while she towelled off her hair, silently debating if she should bring up the topic of Regina and Henry moving in with her. Would they remodel the penthouse or should they look for a new place altogether?

Lately, Emma thought about buying a house with a garden for Tamotsu a lot, but she didn't want to make a decision on the matter without Regina.

She dropped the towel to the floor, opened the wardrobe and put on grey sweatpants and a black hoodie before she moved her damp hair to one side.

She would check what mood Regina would be in and would decide then if today would be the day to make plans for their future together.

Happy with her plan she closed the wardrobe with a smile, picked up the towel, turned around and stopped dead in her tracks when she caught sight of Regina, still wrapped in her towel, sitting on the bed.

Had she been sitting there all along?

Was something wrong?

Regina only smiled at her and patted the space next to her, which confused Emma even more, but she dropped the towel once again and walked over to the bed, sitting down hesitantly, "Are you okay?"

But Regina only kept smiling and it started to irritate Emma more and more. Before she could speak again Regina scooted around so she could face Emma properly and she took both of Emma's hands and squeezed them gently.

"What you said yesterday. To that reporter I mean. About us", Regina ducked her head shyly and it was Emma's turn to squeeze her hands as she intertwined their fingers.

"I meant every word, Regina."

"I know", Regina assured, "And you are right, Emma. What we have is honest and true. It is real."

It slowly dawned on Emma where Regina was going with this, "It's a lot to take in sometimes, huh? I mean...to this day I can't believe it sometimes. That this is my life now. It feels like a dream because I never thought I'd ever have a family of my own. And then you came into my life. You and Henry. I couldn't have asked for more. This", Emma squeezed Regina's hands again, "Us. It's the most real thing in my life. It's certainly all that matters."

Regina nodded, "It is."

She pulled her hands out of Emma's grasp slowly and grabbed the hem of Emma's hoodie while their eyes locked.

"There's something I realized", Regina announced while she lifted the black fabric.

She watched as Emma's eyes grew wide and she felt how her own heart started to beat faster with every inch the hoodie moved upwards, revealing more and more of Emma's flawless skin.

"Regina, what are you doing? You said you realized something?", there was a slight panic in Emma's voice, mixed with a whole lot of confusion.

Regina nodded her head, indicating for Emma to raise her hands instead of an answer.

Emma stared at her for a moment, searching for something in brown eyes that wasn't there.

No hesitation.

No doubt.

No fear.

The only thing shining in Regina's eyes was love.

And warmth.

Trust.

Emma raised her hands at last and before she knew it her hoodie was in Regina's hands and her upper body was bare.

Regina tossed the hoodie to the floor carelessly and took Emma's hands again, "I love you, Emma. I may not say it all the time, but..."

"Regina, I know. Don't worry, okay? I know. And I love you just the same."

"What we have is real", Regina repeated, "It is real and I'm done being stuck in the past. We are here, right now, and we're going to talk about living arrangments tomorrow."

Emma looked at her in surprise, "We are?"

Regina smiled, "Yes. Because I want a future with you, Emma. But it has to wait until tomorrow because we already have plans for today."

"We do?"

Regina nodded and bit her lip.

"What is it, Regina? What do you want?", Emma asked, as gentle and caring as she had always been.

Regina took a deep breath because she was well aware that what she was about to say would change everything.

But it was time. She was finally there.

"I want you to make love to me."

Emma blinked.

And she blinked again.

She must have heard wrong. That was the only explanation.

There was no way Regina had said what she had just heard.

"Unless you don't want to", Regina whispered when Emma didn't react. She tried to pull her hands back, but Emma held on to them out of instinct.

"Did you just say...", Emma was still too dumbfounded to finish the sentence.

The sight was too adorable for words and Regina couldn't help, but chuckle, "Never thought you'd see the day, huh? But to answer your question. Yes, I said exactly what you think I said."

Regina had been afraid that she would be too nervous to get a word out, but she was surprisingly calm.

The same couldn't be said for Emma though. Her voice was shaking almost as much as her hands, "Regina, are...are you sure?"

Instead of an answer Regina opened her towel and let it drop to her hips, revealing her body.

She held her right hand out for Emma to take, but Emma was too caught up in her own head to realize it.

Regina eyed her closely, unsure why Emma seemed to be struggling so much, "Emma, what's wrong?"

"I just...I...it's not that I don't...don't want to", Emma tried, but failed to form a coherent sentence and it dawned on Regina that she had to proceed with caution because Emma was apparently trying to work through something.

"Lie down with me?", Regina suggested carefully and earned a nod from Emma, which led to them both scooting around on the bed for a moment before they found themselves facing each other and Emma clutching Regina's hands like a lifeline.

"Emma, just talk to me. It will be fine", Regina reassured gently while she tried to find the answer to whatever was going on in Emma's eyes.

What she didn't expect to find there was the fear that stared back at her out of green eyes.

Emma's mind was in overdrive.

She had hoped that they would reach this point in their relationship one day. The point where they would just be together as one, connected in every way, hearts, body and soul, but now that the time had finally come she was close to panicking.

What if she made a wrong move?

What if it would ruin everything they had?

What if she would lose Regina?

She couldn't lose Regina.

It was all too much and everything she had dreamed about all at once.

She was thrilled and she was afraid.

So very afraid that she would destroy everything if she so much as moved.

"I'm scared", she admitted, at last, her voice barely a whisper.

And Regina realized what she should have seen all along.

While she had worked through her issues with the help of Wendy Darling Emma hadn't even dared to think about the possibility of real intimacy between them for the most part because they hadn't known if it would ever happen.

So far all they had shared had been innocent touches and it had all been safe – for both of them.

Now though, now Emma was put on the spot and she was scared that everything would go wrong if they would take this step. That it would blow up in her face.

Emma had to feel incredibly pressured and Regina wanted to smack herself.

Why hadn't she thought of that?

Why had she not seen this coming from miles away?

"Emma, do you trust me?"

"Of course. More than anything."

A smile appeared on Regina's face, "Okay."

She gestured for Emma to lie on her back and moved with her, finding herself on top of Emma only seconds later, looking straight into insecure, but sparkling green eyes.

"Nothing needs to happen, but I need you to focus on what I'm going to say now. I need you to really listen, do you understand?"

Emma nodded in response because she found it incredibly hard to breathe with Regina so close, let alone speak.

Regina pecked Emma's lips softly before she continued, "I know that you would never do anything to hurt me. Not on purpose. And definitely not like that. Not like", she couldn't bring herself to say his name because he had nothing to do in this moment. Not even in her life anymore.

"I know that, Emma. I know that I am safe with you. Always. And I meant what I said. Nothing has to happen, but I want you to know that I am ready. I want to be with you. All of you. I trust you."

Emma just stared at her as the seconds ticked by and Regina was about to move when Emma's arms finally wrapped around her body to pull her closer, kissing her like she would be the most precious thing in the world.


Emma making love to her felt like a revelation. One Regina had no words for.

Every single kiss was like a whisper against her bare skin.

Every single caress felt like a prayer.

Emma's touch was so gentle, so soft and full of love and yet Regina's whole body was on fire while the last part of the puzzle shifted to connect their bodies with their hearts and soul, bringing them together as one.

And the moment Regina came undone her past started to fall away, piece by piece, scale by scale, allowing her to rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

Reborn from the darkest corners of her heart to walk in the light at last.


Emma stirred a couple of hours later, Regina's back pressed against her front.

Regina's head was resting on her left, slightly numb arm, her right was wrapped around Regina's waste, her hand covering her girlfriend's where it rested on Regina's stomach.

She was so ridiculously happy that she didn't even know what to do with herself and a huge smile spread on her face when she put gentle kisses to Regina's neck and shoulder.

Emma could feel a slight shiver run down Regina's spine and she couldn't help the sigh that escaped her lips.

She was so content. So completely and utterly content in a way she had never felt before and the only word that came to Emma's mind to describe the moment was magical.

Making love to Regina had been a sensation like no other.

She had always known that it would be special, and not because of Regina's past, but because it was Regina.

They had been incredibly close for months now, but connecting on a physical level had done something to them.
It had allowed them to communicate their love for one another in a way that required nothing, but to feel while their hearts beat as one.


Waking up to Emma holding her was something Regina would never get tired of.

Now that she was free of the shackles of the past, the chains that had held her down for so long finally gone, she felt so much lighter.
Her heart was finally free after all these years in the shadows and she loved Emma more than ever.

She turned around in Emma's arms lazily, a smile on her face and kissed Emma's shoulder happily.

"How are you feeling?", Emma asked while she ran her fingers through Regina's hair.

"Never been better."

And Regina realized that it was true.
She had been a lot happier ever since she had allowed Emma into her life and, of course, she was happy whenever she was around Henry, but this was different.

She had overcome her fears, her trauma, after so many years. She had successfully silenced her demons with Emma's help, patience and understanding.

Regina was aware that it didn't mean that said demons had fallen into an eternal slumber and that there was always a chance that they would sneak up on her and torment her again, but now that she saw how far she had come and what was possible she was positive that whatever would happen could be dealt with Emma by her side.

She scooted around a little so she was eye level with Emma, "I love you."

"I love you too, Regina", Emmas's smile was almost blinding and Regina didn't hesitate to kiss her.

She ran her fingertips down Emma's arm, feeling the goosebumps her touch left on her skin and Regina was thrilled to see the effect she had on Emma.

"Are you hungry?", Emma managed to ask between kisses, but Regina only shook her head.

"Or we could talk about..."

Regina interrupted Emma's suggestion with a passionate kiss before her eyes locked on sparkling green ones and she moved her hand further down Emma's body, inch by inch, enjoying every moment of exploration, "Tomorrow."

It might have been the last word spoken that night, but the conversation of their bodies continued until way past midnight and their hearts wouldn't be silenced at all.