"Send in the clowns , there ought to be clowns" the old Julie Collins chestnut Stef's dad would croon as he did his Sunday chores pops into her head.

But there are no clowns, just Jesus hustling in from the back yard stopping at the freezer for ice, he doesn't bother to find a bowl, apparently Brandon who just moments ago made the same trip, has lent him his.

He gives her that Jesus smile, which always make Steff feel like she's been kissed by a puppy dog, and then bounces out the way he came in.

Stef would like to know what all the ice is going for, but really, its morning, the two oldest have graduated, which in some ways is not much, but in other ways is perfectly stunning. And she wants to just let it go, let things take care of themselves. She wills herself not to look out the door, or through window over the sink. If she's needed she'll know.

And besides, after all the drama around graduation, and a night of well, uhm, Lena being both wonderfully needy and friendly, her body has a smile all over and if she is thinking at all, its about coffee and getting lost in the newspaper. She looks at the pot wondering why Lena, or Callie for that matter hasn't started it.

" I Need Coffee."

Mariana enters fresh from sleep, still in pj's,

The coffee thing is relatively new, Callie broke the taboo many years ago but the others have been hesitant to follow.

" I'm the oldest, now"... she offers in explanation. Stef turns not saying anything,

"Brandon and Callie are practically out the door."

Stef can only look at her youngest daughter, she has so many feelings racing through her body, she is not sure whether it is laughter or tears bubbling up from her chest.

She waves wanly at the coffeemaker on the counter, "Go for it." and wonders how long it will be before only shade-grown non-gmo beans are acceptable on their kitchen counter.

Mariana beams ( smelling both victory and the coffee) but something out side through the patio door catches her attention and she is pulled that way as if by a string.

Stef frowns watching her go, wavering, wanting to follow, but sod it, she thinks to herself, they're graduates time to start figuring things out on their own, and resolutely moves to the coffee pot, stepping with dedication and resolve.

XXXXXX

Callie takes comfort in the impossibly blue dessert sky (a postcard god sends them every morning). Her head is not spinning any more but the ice water dripping down from her wrist has soaked the right side of her t-shirt and it is uncomfortable as well as embarrassing. Its just her brothers, and they mean well enough but still..

"Its not BROKEN," she snaps back at Jesus, who isn't phased by her anger.

"Can you move it?" His real concern starts the anxious butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Jesus hovering is not a comforting site. "the whole arm is swelling,"

She turns her head to look-up at Lena Callie is leaning against her mama, practically sitting in her lap.

"You'll be fine," Lena mouths with a smile, running her fingers through her hair.

"From your lip to god's ear," rolls through her mind and she wonders where that one came from. Still annoyed as much with herself as anyone, she glares at Jesus

"Yo Mari, mama can do cartwheels, Really, I saw it." Callie feels Lena tense-up while Jesus motors on, "Callie ,snapped off three pretty good ones too, but I think she hit a gopher hole."

"Ouch, "Mariana looks at her, concerned, but then turns to Lena, Definitely amused "You do cartwheels? Can we see?"

Brandon laughs under his breath and Callie exasperated looks at him. He shrugs and gives her a wry smile "They are right you know," he says its gently, like he is breaking bad news.

Her frustration and pain have mixed into a nasty stew, she knows he can see it on her face, but it doesn't warn him off, maybe only encourages him.

" Cmon Callie, Lena doing Cartwheels? That's big"

She resolves to kill him, -when she has full use of both arms.

"Brandon! Stop." Lena is horrified on a number of levels. "She could have really hurt herself"

Brandon looks at Lena, and for a second Callie and Brandon' eye's lock. There is a sparkle in his eye and his nose twitches.

" Her friends practice rolling around on skates assaulting people. "

He turns to Jesus,"

"You're our best hope Jesus, can you take on Mama—for the family championship."

Jesus looks at Lena and then back at Brandon. You can an only tease the mom's so far and well, he has a feeling that between Callie's bruises and Lena's sense of dignity, he really doesn't need to put an orr into that lake. Its not like, he's off in two months to college or anything. He has to live here.

"I think Callie needs some more ice," he smiles, and gets up.

Which is fine because as he moves toward the the house he nearly runs over stef and she just narrowly dances out of his way managing not to spill a drop of coffee.

"Cartwheels?"

Callie turns and watches Stef slowly approach, nursing a cup of coffee. She sees this inexplicable expression on her face, part surprise, part delight and strangely a little hurt"

"Really? Cartwheels?"

It's as if Stef doesn't think any of the kids could tell a cartwheel from a somersault.

And although Callie, doesn't want to, she has to admit she didn't know what to do when Lena first whooped and then crossed the back lawn with a series of exuberant cartwheels. It was awkward watching, as if she was seeing something that was too private or intimate, but somehow Lena had cajoled her and all of a sudden it was as if she had fallen through a trap door and had become a ten year old girl out with her best friend. spinning hand over hand, feet in the air, rejoicing to live in a world they could momentarily turn round and then upside down, kaleidoscoping colors with motion.

It had ended badly, but well, so do most things, right?

She turns to Brandon, but he is looking at stef who is gazing at Lena, her eyes are paler than sky but still electric and glittery and Callie, in her mind , takes a picture of the moment, freezes the image and the feeling, to remember always, what it felt like to be held by Lena with Brandon close by and Jesus the perfect combination of annoying and sweet. They are jewels, each one of them priceless, beautiful, and then there is Stef, wrapping them with love, bright as sunlight on gold.

XXXXXXXXX

Three ibru-profens, an absurdly long shower, followed with a bowl of fresh strawberries and bananas, all the while keeping her right fore arm elevated and she feels at least halfway human. Truthfully it was a bad spill, her right side hasn't been this sore since daphne beat her up in Juvie, but she can move her fingers and hopefully it won't linger long enough to impact note taking at university, She'll make her way, she knows, but it would be nice to have some things be simple..

Her elevated arm makes it a challenge to both read the novel she pulled from lena's book shelf and eat the berries, but truthfully, she is feeling content, happy where she is and happy that a new adventure awaits.

Even so, Stef moving across the kitchen and then sitting down at the table, puts her on her guard. She is okay about talking about the cartwheels, but not exactly sure she can articulate why she was doing them.

She tries to convey her very, very deep interest in the novel, leaning so close into the page she can't see Stef. She thinks sourly that although the SPD motto is protect and serve somewhere in the oath lays a clause about asking lots and lots of questions.

She is so done with questions. After all, the only real answer, as Lena pointed out, gets lived out day-by-day.

It might be the lack of sleep mixed with the ibuprofen, but Callie decides to take the lead. Maybe head things off a bit.

"You and mama talked?" She tries to keep her voice neutral

"Not really," Steph answers blandly.

"Your arm ok? You would say something if it was really bothering you, yes?"

Callie is surprised. For some reason she wasn't expecting questions about her arm.

She laughs "Just my pride, any ways its Sunday so give it a day," Stef seems satisfied and starts to leave. But stops in mid rise, listening to voices in the next room.

"Yo bro, I didn't mean to put you in it," Brandon is talking. She hears an actual PLOP from the next room, as he drops down onto one of the leather couches.

"What? I'm so lame, that I'm going to risk Mama spraining a wrist or something...she is 40. Get out of here, huh!"

Callie sighs and puts her head down on the book, "Walk Away Brandon," She mouths a silent prayer. But the conversation goes on.

"You saw it?"

" Oh man. I was in the kitchen and I heard them giggling like ten year old's. I go out back and the two of them are cartwheeling across the yard. In their pajamas Brandon... in their PAJAMAS

...Mama's not bad,"

"Style points, huh"

Steph reaches out and puts her head on Callie's shoulder, her body shaking with Laughter.

" Yeah dude style, but ... really Cartwheels? That's how you celebrate. I don't get it."

They go quiet.

"So If i'm around next year." Callie knows Brandon well enough she clearly pictures a small smile forming on his face, " You won't be celebrating?...i mean by doing cartwheels"

Callie holds her breath, still vainly hoping to hear a door shut or footsteps up the stairs.

"No".. Jesus pauses " But I can't control mama, you never know what she's gonna do."

Brandon laughs

" Oh cmon, admit it, She'll be doing back flips"

Callie lays sprawled on the table feeling Stef weights lightly on her shoulder, she doesn't feel like talking, but if she did, she would tell Stef, that the boys have it all wrong. Lena and she were doing cartwheels because the sky is blue and three years ago the family included her in the Quinciera, and Jude is happy and safe and Mariana is slowly figuring out who she is. She doesn't need to graduate high school for either Lena or her to feel like doing a cartwheel.

It's maddening neither Brandon or Jesus have the right to go on about what lies in all the little corners of her heart, they don't know, she's much too armored- up even to the family. Brandon knows better.

As for Jesus, he is so damn naive. She knows she should just dismiss his words . But as she rests with a book in the kitchen, Stef still leaning on her she can't let it drop, the words stick with her the way a simple melody sticks with you

She has a mind to get up and confront him, to tell him off, but what good would that do, she only has her anger, which is nothing when faced with love. It cost her a year of her life to learn that. And although he is not right, he is not fully wrong either

Cartwheels, she looks at Stef trying to keep a straight face. Cartwheels, that's how proud she has made her family and her mama. Callie graduated high school, and her mama did Cartwheels. She will have to get use to it, and wonders if that means they won't give her the prius, after all how many gifts can one girl get.