Chapter 5 of In Love & War
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Author: Isabelle
Summary: Post 1.13. Chuck Bass left New York after he lost Blair and Nate in one day. Years later, a deep economic crisis has left the world broke, and the only family in the UES with money left is the Bass family and its sole heir: Chuck Bass. Eleanor convinces Blair to marry Chuck for his money, but all the feelings Blair left buried a long time ago start to surface when she realizes he's not the man she thought he was. CB. NV.
Disclaimer: I won nothing, not Gossip Girl, not any quotes/lyrics used.
Rating: PG-15
A/N – A special thanks to the ever lovely Tatiana for her BETA.
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"The greatest inspiration is often born of desperation."
Comer Cotrell
Chuck stopped the moment he got off the elevator and instantly knew he wouldn't be welcomed. Not because he was hated but because they respected his good opinion and good opinion was not to be found here.
The Waldorf home he'd grown up knowing was not visible at all. The main entrance which was once glorious and smelled of hydrangeas and was warm and soft was now sporting one small couch. Blair's throne was gone, the flower table was gone, all of Eleanor's paintings were gone… the floors hadn't been polished and the place needed a paint job badly. There were even cobwebs in the corners.
He refused to believe that people lived here. He refused to believe Blair Waldorf did. He, of course, had seen much worse destitution but never in this place. This place was home along with Nathaniel's old brownstone… and now all that was left was a sad, cold empty space.
He knew Blair was staring at him and he really was trying to just focus on her and pretend all was normal but he simply could not.
This place was not a residence.
"Chuck," Blair stated, her nostrils flared and her face pink. He took off his hat slowly and stared at her. "What are you doing here?"
He stared at her because gone was the princess dress and now she was in her normal attire. He's seen Blair Waldorf in pants very few times in his life. She was a skirt-type of a girl. Always pretty and proper… and always perfectly matched, like she'd been last night.
Not the woman that stood before him.
No ringlets in her hair, no make up. She was a woman, a grown responsible woman. Set mouth and thick sweater.
"What are you doing here?" she cried, demanding his attention. Not that she could loose it he was just struck speechless. That was all.
The charade was over; Blair was really impoverished. This burned him because he could've done something about it long ago. God knows the things she had to do in order to remain afloat. The places she had to go to sell her family's fine things.
She looked absolutely hurt and embarrassed at his presence and he regretted coming unannounced. He pulled from behind him her shoe.
"You left this," he stated and her eyes zoomed in on her shoe. She gasped softly, covering her mouth.
It was Eleanor who broke the spell. "How charming!"
Blair's eyes widened as her mother went forward and grabbed the shoe from Chuck.
"Isn't it charming, Blair?" her mother asked her then smiled at Chuck. Eleanor was no longer as composed as he had seen her a few days ago. She was in her nightgown with a thick robe over her thinning frame.
Blair reacted, grabbing the shoe and quickly placed her arm around her mother.
"Yes, mother – Dorota, please take mom to the kitchen –"
Dorota didn't have to be told twice as she led a curious and protesting Eleanor who kept looking over her shoulder at her daughter and himself.
Blair turned sharply to him, still flustered.
"Thank you for the shoe." She said quickly, not meeting his eye as she clutched the heel in her hand. "You have a wonderful day."
He reeled back, still a bit shaken about her living conditions and stared at her.
"I have to talk to you –"
"I'm busy, we're leaving soon – that's why there's no furniture, we're almost done packing." She stated, still not looking at him.
Chuck walked closer and her eyes widened, nervous as to what he was thinking; he didn't blame her. She was as jumpy as a cat. He noted that the rail of the stairs was broken.
"I need to talk to you," he stated plainly. "Don't make me beg."
She finally met his eyes and he saw the deep shame chip she had been carrying on her shoulder.
"I understand you're in the middle of a move … but it's business and I need to say it…" he finished quietly.
Her eyes questioned him when he mentioned the business proposal which was exactly what this was. This was not a social call; he didn't come here to see her or anything. He needed something and perhaps he was lucky enough for her to admit that she needed something back.
"What business?" she asked, still not believing him.
He didn't blame her.
"Please…" he gestured to the only and severely used couch left.
She shifted nervously and finally sat with her shoe still in her hand. He cleared his throat and began to pace, playing with his hat.
Chuck Bass wasn't nervous.
"I have a problem," he began.
She made a derisive sound. "You have a problem?"
Touché.
"That you can help me with," he continued, undeterred.
"I doubt that," she snapped.
"My primary investors are pulling out of a major deal because of things I consider inconsequential yet it means all for them." He trotted on.
She raised a brow.
"To put it simple, they don't like my image," he stated and she stared at him, as if he'd lost his mind.
"Your image?" she asked, not even sure if she should be amused or angry.
"Yes. Apparently they see me as a – and I quote - a globe-trotting playboy with too much time and money on his hands." He stated, still upset about it.
She chuckled. He stared at her.
"Apologies… I didn't know investors had a sense of humor." She smirked and he had to physically hold himself back from enjoying the moment with her because he was nervous as a fucking cat.
He took a shaky breath.
"Continue," she encouraged him.
He tugged at his collar. "So… before I loose millions of dollars," she rolled her eyes, "… and hundreds of people are left without a job," she stared at him, "I need to 'clean' up my image and fast."
"I still don't understand how I can help you – you've had this image since sixth grade." She snapped.
"That's where you come in, of course." Fuck he was going to be sick.
"Me?" she asked, doubtfully.
"Y-yes," shit, he was a fucking stutterer now.
Kryptonite.
Her eyes suddenly went wide and she stood up, dropping the shoe. "What are you saying?"
He looked away. "It's a business proposal."
"But a proposal, nonetheless!" she seethed.
He turned and stared at her. "Am I on bended knee here? Do you see a ring?" he growled.
"That would've been better!" she cried, arms flailing.
"Why? We're not in love!" he cried and she looked genuinely hurt.
"You're buying a wife!"
"Men have been doing it for centuries!"
"I am not for sale!" she snapped.
"Like you're not getting anything out of it!" he cried.
"I don't need you, Chuck!" she cried, at his face.
"Like fucking hell!" he spat.
"I can take care of myself and my family and I will be ok!" she was in the verge of tears now and he knew he should stop but he couldn't stop because there was going to be not Chuck Bass the looser here.
"With your unlimited funds?" he ground out.
"I hate you." She hissed. "You are not a gentleman despite all your money and your silly hat and your supposed noble causes of preventing people from loosing jobs – like you give a damn –"
"I do give a fucking damn!"
"Your main reason for this debauchery is your money – your precious money!"
"You have no idea what I've been through – you have no fucking right to judge!" he cried, nearly wanting to strangle her.
"What you've been through? I've buried a father!"
"Oh and mine is on vacation!" he yelled.
"An ex-fiancé, a social scandal while you gallivanted around the world –"
"Don't you talk to me about not knowing anything, Blair! I was in Japan when the bombs fell, watching kids holding on their own fucking limbs!"
She gasped and they both stared at one another hurt and finally looked away.
"This wont work." She said quietly. "We fight too much… people will see immediately through our façade."
She was right of course, but he wasn't leaving. No other person could do what he needed her to do. He knew, like he knew there would be sun tomorrow that she could be a sample of decorum and social formalities.
"This is a business deal." He stated quietly. "I'm no more in love with than you are with me."
Her heart clenched at his words and then covered her mouth with her hand. "There's nothing in it for me."
He stared at her until she finally met his eyes. "Fine. There's plenty of it for me." She admitted.
"I need an answer by noon." He deadpanned. "I'm meeting with the investors and I have a very small window of opportunity to change their minds."
"Why me?" she finally asked.
He put his hat back on and winked at her. "Really, Blair… what other woman can play this game?"
And he was out the elevator and leaving her shaking in her own sparsely furnished home.
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Jacob nearly jumped out of his skin when Chuck slid next to him in the limo. He looked pale and confused.
"Sir?" he asked, with great trepidation.
"I need scotch." Chuck stated and Jacob quickly pulled out the bottle he had kept in the limo. He poured him a drink and Chuck took it, gulping it back.
He took of his hat and threw it on the seat.
Jacob waited – he also noted that there was no shoe in his hand. Miss Waldorf must have it.
"I asked her to marry me." He stated.
Jacob dropped his precious planner.
"Uhmm… I… I-I'm so c-clumsy." Jacob stuttered, picking up his things with shaky hands. "I'm sorry what?"
"I asked her to be my wife." He stared ahead, almost as if he was informing his own self of this startling news.
"Did she agree?" Jacob asked, still bewildered.
"I gave her until noon." Chuck took a shaky breath.
"The investors are meeting us at noon –"
"I know." Chuck interrupted him.
Jacob hissed and looked ahead, grabbing some scotch himself and slugging it down.
They rode silently until after sufficient liquid courage Jacob opened his mouth.
"Sir… do you want to say yes?" he asked quietly.
"Of course not, Jacob. I'm perfect happy and content with my life as it is." Chuck stated but never looked at the man.
If he was an honest man, a good man he would admit to himself that it did fill him with a certain sense of satisfaction to know that it was he, Chuck Bass, that was saving her in many ways. Here she was, alone and utterly helpless and everyone else had left her and he had charged in, like a white knight of her fantasies and was taking her away from his evil life.
Yes, if only he was an honest man.
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Blair sat staring at the spot that Chuck had occupied minutes ago and decided she just needed to breathe in and out because that would get her through these moments of completely and utter chaos.
This wasn't her first proposal. When Ulysses had proposed to her years ago she'd been a squealing mess, full of smiles and tears. He'd had a ring. He'd gotten down on his knee. It had been in a garden. It had been as perfect as their imperfect relationship.
She didn't even want to consider this, whatever this was a proper proposal. It was like he said, a business agreement.
She had no money; no future, no guarantee that she could keep her mother and Dorota alive. No chance of keeping her own self alive.
He had the money, the power to come and save her.
In return? Pose as a wife. Smile and wave, mingle and be the perfectly perfect mirage that he needed to stay rich and get even richer.
And he'd said. They weren't in love with each other – there was no use pretending.
Yes, she had become enchanted with him the previous evening. He'd been a semi-gentleman and she'd seen the night as magical, a formal goodbye to her home. Last night had been magic, last night had been special.
But today? The true Chuck Bass just visited her, made her a business proposition – she'd never felt more like a prostitute her entire life.
She looked at her soon to be abandoned family home. The home five generations of Waldorfs had resided on… all lost on her watch. The family was slipping past her fingers… and she couldn't even pass on the family name because of her own actions… what was she waiting for?
How many Waldorf women had made the decision to marry a man they didn't love to save their name? She wasn't the first one, that was for sure.
What was the breaking point? When was dignity but an illusion created by a young girl and the endless rainy afternoons spent watching movies? Dreaming of love, dreaming of Princes and kingdoms?
They hardly had any food, she'd sold her parents wedding rings, she'd lost their home, she didn't even have her own bed…
She looked ahead, one last tear dribbling down her cheek.
"No more fairytales," she whispered.
She found Dorota and her mother in the kitchen as Eleanor quietly finished her oatmeal and Dorota paced anxiously back and forth.
She met her maid's eyes and she knew she had overheard.
"Miss Blair…"
"Help me get ready, Dorota…" Blair said softly. "… I need to be… perfect."
"No, Miss Blair – you can't." Dorota went to her and she was in her warm embrace being protected, if just for a moment, from the outside world. A world where things happened naturally not with these schemes and complications.
"There's not time to do my hair," she said, pulling back. "It needs to go up in a tasteful bun, and perhaps the black dress mom has kept… we may need to pair it with a belt but it should do."
Dorota had tears in her eyes as she nodded. "You will perfect Miss Blair."
Blair took a sharp breath. "I need to be… that's my job."
This only made Dorota more sentimental. Once she was gone Blair sat next to her mother who continued dolling around on her drawing pad.
"Mom…" Blair said softly.
Eleanor stopped drawing and Blair was taken back because for a moment she saw her mother. Her own mother.
"Always remember, Blair… always remember that I love you and all that I do is for you."
Blair blanched and Eleanor pushed the pad she had been using to her, Blair blinked and looked down at the drawing… it was a fashion sketch of a wedding down… and the model was her.
"Mom?" Blair asked, taking her hand. "Mom… what are you doing?"
Eleanor touched the paper and nodded. "This is you. I had a dream and this was you."
Blair closed her eyes and nodded.
"Ok, mom… ok."
Eleanor reached forward and kissed her forehead. She pulled back and stared at her. Her mother was gone once more. "Ivory… not white."
Blair nodded and gave her a tight smile.
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Chuck paced back and forth as Jacob looked on. The clock on the mantle read 11:45.
Fifteen minutes.
"Sir… should I show the investors to the conference room?" Jacob finally dared ask.
Chuck stopped pacing and nodded tersely, watching the man leave him be in his lonely room. He was a mess. She had made him into a mess; a horrid mess.
It's not that he loved her – he was sure he didn't love her… but then again he'd never been in love before so he wouldn't know how the hell love was supposed to feel like. The only other person he was supposed to love was his father and that had felt this horrible resentment… he didn't feel that towards her.
Maybe he just wanted to protect her? Shield her? Make her whole again? Fix her? Hope that she would fix him?
Fuck.
Kryptonite.
He paced some more. His collar was unnaturally tight lately, he didn't know what was going on with that.
11:51
Shit. She was going to say no. She would just disappear to god-knows-where… shit…
He should've known better; he should at least made an attempt to be more gentlemanly about it; not just shove the fact that they weren't in love in her face. What the hell was wrong with him? He should know better – Blair lived, breathed, ate fairytales.
11:56
She wasn't coming.
Jacob opened the door, popping his head in.
"Sir… they're ready for you."
Chuck took a deep breath. Ok. Plan B.
Blair wasn't coming, this much was clear now. He now had to use his bullshitting ability to get out of this mess; which he thought he could do – he could deflate them temporarily but not for much longer.
He was going to have to find an ulterior way of cleaning up his image. He made it down the hallway and entered the room where the old gizzards were waiting for him. His stomach felt like something had stabbed it.
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Jacob closed the door behind Chuck and sighed. Chuck was not happy – not happy at all. He felt bad for the young guy… he had seen something in his eyes that night and this morning that he'd never seen before.
He leaned back against the frame and closed his eyes, removing his glasses and rubbing his temples.
That's when the click-clack of heels made him alert. And there she was.
If he wasn't a controlled man he would done a loud 'yippee' hand-pumping gesture. But he was a controlled man.
She was out of breath and looked absolutely lovely. Her hair was done in an elegant twist and she was in a tasteful black dress with a wide red belt, her Cinderella shoes and a tint of lipstick.
"Is it too late?" she asked him, eyes wide.
"No," he managed to murmur. She looked anxious and jumpy.
"I have no ring… How am I to be engaged if I have no ring?" she asked.
He smiled slightly. "Wait here."
She nodded, watching the man scurry off. Her stomach was in a thousand knots. Had she just agreed to marry Chuck Bass? Oh god… she felt like barfing.
She was marrying for money. I mean, she cared for him, they'd had sex for christsakes! But… she just never dreamed it would be like this. No. No more dreams, she reminded herself.
The man came quickly to her and took her hand.
He placed in it something and she looked down, gasping when she saw her mother's wedding ring in her hand. She felt her stomach drop from under her as she stared at the tasteful Tiffany ring that she had always admired.
She had sold it for twenty dollars which had been used to purchase their boat tickets.
"How…." She looked at him.
"Not a question for me, Ma'am." He replied. He gestured to the door as Blair nodded, with trembling fingers slipping the ring into her finger, admiring it for a moment.
"Ma'am…" Jacob whispered to her.
She took a deep breath.
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Chuck wanted to be anywhere but here. The man before him droned on about image and the prospect of war and what people wanted and needed to see. Criticizing, hypocritical bastards, that's what Chuck wanted to call him.
But he couldn't. He needed to be mature about this. Too many people depended on him and his ability to do a correct business deal. And Blair wasn't here. He didn't know why this was distracting him the way it was but it was nonetheless. It was right down killing him.
She hadn't shown.
She'd taken her things and gone – never to be seen or heard from again.
He didn't know if he should be mourning. Wallowing… feeling like a dejected man?
This is exactly why he had left last time; all these feelings and emotions that she brought out of him. Making him want things he shouldn't want. Making him be someone he shouldn't be. She was this presence that completely took over his life, thoughts, actions until he barely recognized himself. And here he was, years later, same fucking thing.
"What do you have to say about this Mr. Bass?" the man finally finished his tirade.
What did he have to say? Shit, what had the man said? He panicked for a moment.
That's when the door opened and he became instantly annoyed because he had given Jacob strict instructions to not let anyone in.
He turned and stopped, his stomach obviously didn't take well to the croissant he had that morning because he felt sick.
There she was, in all of her Audrey Hepburn-like beauty and smiling, radiant.
"Gentleman, I do apologize for interrupting," she glided into the room and he felt he was standing outside, watching a movie. She turned to him and gave him an adoring look he had never received from her. "Sweetheart, I thought we were having lunch?"
The investors quickly looked at Chuck – Chuck for his part was gapping like a fish out of water.
"Apologies, I don't believe I've met any of you," she continued, walking around the room, showing off her legs. "I'm Blair Waldorf – Charles' fiancé?"
That's when he saw the men smile, delightedly.
For his part, Chuck's only thought was well…. Shit.
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To be continued
A/N - I want to apologize for not having the time this week or replying to everyone's feedback; I'm in a middle of an audit and I hard;y had time to write. I want to thank each and everyone of you all for taking time out and leaving all your feedback; I appreciate it so very much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and all its elements.
I also dont think I'll have a chapter up tomorrow because of this crazy audit I'm going through. Thank you once more for the feedback and I hope you enjoy this part :)
