~RavensMind~
Chapter 10: The Demon Within
"In the days of darkness, mortals feared not the danger of their own wrath, nor did they fear the beasts that haunted their environment, they feared the unknown terror that lurks in the dark. They feared the manifestations of the darkest part of their imaginations. Collected into one being, Trigon represented the totality of horror that would be the end of all things. Destroyed by his own daughter, all that remains of him are her memories of his atrocities – which are locked away beneath Hatred's cell. Raven kept Trigon and their secret from the world, along with certain other suppressed memories."
It was in the dead of night. Titans Tower was quiet. Until Raven bolted up in bed, fully awake, seething, with tears on her face. She got up, left her cloak, and walked out of her room.
Robin was sound asleep, laying on his back under his sheets. He turned his head and yawned in his sleep. Raven opened his door and crossed over to his bed, she sat down next to him and shook him awake.
"Robin, wake up," she said.
He slowly opened his eyes and sat up quickly when he saw her face.
"Raven, what's wrong?" he asked.
"I need your help," she said sadly.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Come with me."
She helped him out of bed and they went back to her room together. She grabbed her mediation mirror off of her dresser and rejoined him. They sat on the floor across from each other. She took both of his hands, put her mirror between them, and then took a deep breath. He squeezed her hands and smiled at her encouragingly.
"I'm bringing you into my mind to talk with a few of my emotions, while I deal with the problem causing the noise in my mind," she said.
"Uh, okay, is there anything I need to know?" he asked.
"They will tell you when we find them. Just look at the mirror and repeat after me. Azarath Metrion Zinthos."
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."
A large black hand of Raven's power reached out of the mirror and pulled both of them inside. They landed outside Raven's memory tower. Surrounding them was a great army of Trigon's demon force, being ripped apart systematically by Hatred, Courage, Happiness, Hunger, and more of Raven's emotions. Raven took him over to the door of the tower.
"Cleverness will take you from here, I need to stay and help deal with that army," she said.
"I think I should help you fight them," he said.
"You're helping me fight them by going with Cleverness, trust me."
With a reluctant nod, he walked inside the tower and met Cleverness. He followed Cleverness down the hall and up the spiral staircase to another floor. She led him to a large ornate door at the end of the hall and let him inside with her key. He stood in large, dim, warm room filled with books. He looked up and couldn't find the ceiling, instead he saw bookshelves extending along the wall going all the way up, all fully packed with books and scrolls. In the center of the room sat a crafted desk with two chairs. Cleverness sat in the chair opposite him as he took a seat. The room was calming and he felt more focused as he glanced around, his gaze resting on Cleverness.
"Listen to me very carefully, as we don't have a lot of time, and what I'm about to tell you is critical to solving Raven's problem. I'm sure by now you know that as an empath, she can pick up on what others are feeling, and anticipate their thoughts, yes?" Cleverness asked.
"Yeah, I know that, the whole team knows. It's part of how she controls her power too, right?" Robin asked.
"For the most part, but it's more than that. Being able to sense the emotions of others also allows her to take on the other person's point of view, when she's not focusing inwardly, even if she disagrees with it or finds it repulsive, it's part of how she created her bond with you. Her emotions can be reflected in you, and yours in her. And it is for this reason that I've asked to speak to you," Cleverness said.
"Why didn't she tell me all of this?" Robin asked.
"She didn't want anyone else in her mind, until now of course. It's important that you're here, it means she is comfortable with you knowing more. Now that you do, you can help her get control of Despair, and end this terrible bout of depression."
"I'm glad she trusts me, but how exactly do I help her?"
"Hatred and Passion regret that they couldn't be here to assist in explaining this to you. When you sit down with her again to test her emotions, you will need to coerce her into feeling certain emotions by expressing them yourself. Remember, Passion first, then Hatred, and finally Despair. Passion serves as a buffer to distract her, while Hatred will take full control to prepare her to fully embrace Despair, she needs to know the totality of her depression in order to get through it. Hatred will shove Despair into a new cell we've crafted, but you'll have to deal with the fallout. Raven won't take it well, neither will you, but it will end this suffering."
"So, I need to be passionate, then angry, and then feel sad and afraid to make her feel the same way?"
"Yes."
"How long does she need to feel sad and afraid?"
"Not long, just don't let her knock herself out with wine or her pills. Pull her through it however you can. You will need to get yourself through it as well."
"Then she'll be fine?"
"She will be better than ever and that is not just a saying."
"If I tell you something, will she know I said it?"
"It will come across to her as a thought, but she won't know it as a fact."
"I've been… thinking about it a lot and I don't know if I even believe it yet, but…I think I'm in love with her. Uh, and, I'm worried she'll run away if I bring it up."
With a calculated smile, Cleverness reached across the desk and took his hand in hers.
"I…can't tell implicitly you what she would think, or what she is thinking without her permission, although I can suggest that you go and tell Passion what you told me, if you want a better idea of how Raven would react. You still have some time to find Passion and meet with her before Raven comes to collect you. Try the door with an 'R' on the handle downstairs."
Robin nodded and smiled, squeezing Cleverness's hand. They stood up and walked back to the door. He opened the door for Cleverness and they headed for the stairs, going back down to the ground floor. Cleverness stopped him and then pointed to a door before walking away, leaving him standing there. Looking at the doorknob, he traced the 'R' that was engraved on the handle, and looked down at his chest. It was the same as the one that was on his uniform. He opened the door and walked inside the dark room. When he shut it behind him, the lights turned on overhead. His mouth fell open as he saw the contents of the room.
There were pictures, mementos, books, and small displays that all pertained to him. Some of them focused on he and Raven. As he walked around, looking at everything, he could see scenes in his mind, recalling everything that he looked at. He smiled. It was hard not to. Turning around, he was greeted by Passion. She grinned as she approached him, her eyes drawing him in seductively.
"You are by far, the best surprise I've had all week," Passion said.
"What is this room?" Robin asked.
"It's your room, silly. You and the other Titans all have one, but they aren't as special, or as large as yours, believe me."
Robin looked down at a table, picking up the framed photo of he and Starfire kissing in Tokyo. He saw that it was dark red and touching it gave him a jolt, as he felt bad.
"Why is this in here? And why is it red?"
"It has to do with you, that's why it's in here. As for the color, let's just say Raven wasn't as happy for you two as she let on."
"Raven was jealous? I don't believe it."
"Believe it, it's true. I'm glad you're here, I wanted to show you something."
Passion walked away and went into the back of the room, she took a framed photo of Raven in white hugging Robin after they defeated Trigon off of the wall and unlocked a wall safe. Reaching in, she pulled out another photo and walked back over to him with it. She handed it to him and smiled. It was a photo of Robin and Raven kissing, but it wasn't recent, and Robin looked worse for wear. They were in the evidence room, next to the desk.
"When did this happen? I don't remember it at all," Robin asked.
"You were a little intoxicated, it's a wonder you managed to stand up, but then you are the boy wonder, aren't you? That happened a couple months after you broke up with Starfire. You were stressed over a case and Star was still angry at you for ending your relationship. That bottle of whiskey you had in your desk was a good friend to you that day. Raven came in to check on you, said she was worried, saw the bottle and told you that you needed help. You stood up and put your arms around her, then said, or slurred-," Passion explained.
"'No, I need you, but I don't deserve you'," Robin finished, as he remembered his words.
"More or less, yes. Then you kissed her. And she kissed back."
"I guess I was too drunk to remember. But why didn't she talk to me about this?"
"You know why. She was worried what it would mean for the two of you, how her emotions would handle possible rejection or acceptance of her feelings. She thought it was better for both of you if she didn't say anything, so she suppressed the memory, made herself forget. And she counted on you not being able to remember."
"Then why are you telling me now?"
"After what you two have been going through this week, I couldn't let this stay hidden."
"That was our first kiss, and she kept it from me? I mean, I feel awful about how it happened, but…I would've really liked to have known. Maybe you shouldn't have shown me."
"Forget what it is and see what it means, you both have a history, and it's impossible to ignore the fact that to an extent, you've always been a little crazy about each other. But, why are you here? I thought you and Cleverness were talking."
"I've been… thinking about it a lot and I don't know if I believe it yet, but…I think I'm in love with her. And, I'm worried she'll run away if I bring it up." Robin said, repeating what he had told Cleverness.
A large smile spread itself across Passion's face as she hugged Robin tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled too, taking it as a good sign.
"There's something I wish I could say to you, but it has to come from her lips. I've been putting a good word in for you, boy wonder, she hasn't felt this close to anyone. Keep helping her, be yourself, and I know you won't be disappointed. Trust me, I don't feel that she'll run from you," she said.
A large explosion shook the tower and made them jump. Letting go of Passion, Robin went to the door and listened. He heard a larger commotion in the hall and looked back to Passion.
"Go on, I won't tell her you were in here," Passion said.
He went out into the hall and shut the door quickly. A flurry of fireballs shot past him and collided with the door to the stairs. Raven, Hatred, and Courage were at the opposite end of the hall fighting off Trigon's demons. Taking out his bo-staff, he dashed down the hall and bashed one of the demons with it.
The fighting lasted for a while, as they all bashed and blasted the demon forces back out of the tower until the remainder retreated across the dark plain, away from the tower. Raven, Hatred, and Courage turned then turned to Robin. Hatred nodded to him. Raven gave a half smile. Courage gave him a high-five and cheered.
"Wooh! That's how you kick a demon army's ass! Who's up for another wave?" Courage asked excitedly.
"Here's hoping there isn't another wave," Raven said.
"If they know what's good for them, they'll stay the fuck away," Hatred said.
"Did you finish talking to Cleverness?" Raven asked Robin.
"Yeah, I did, sounds like a good plan to help you," he said.
"Is it? I hope so."
"You don't know?"
"No, she doesn't, and she can't – if it's going to work," Hatred said.
"I'm not worried Robin, I know you'll do what you can," Raven said.
"I promise, I-Raven?" Robin asked.
Raven held her head and felt her eyelids grow heavy. She went over to Robin as her legs started to give out. He grabbed her and held her up. She knew she didn't have long before she passed out, having both her and Robin in her mind was starting to exhaust her. She raised her arm up above her head to the sky. The black hand of her power picked them up and pulled them out of the mirror. They were back in her room. She slumped over as she passed out from exhaustion.
He helped her up off the floor and walked her back over to her bed. Putting her back in bed, he pulled the sheets up to her chest. It was still late at night; they should both sleep more. He got her mirror and put it back on her dresser and then left her room. Returning to his own room, he got in his bed and sighed. It took him a little bit to fall asleep, as he was still going over things in his mind. He fell asleep as he was wondering how bad this 'fallout' from Raven's depression would be for them.
