Chapter 9 of In Love & War
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Author: Isabelle
Summary: Post 1.13. Chuck Bass left New York after he lost Blair and Nate in one day. Years later, a deep economic crisis has left the world broke, and the only family in the UES with money left is the Bass family and its sole heir: Chuck Bass. Eleanor convinces Blair to marry Chuck for his money, but all the feelings Blair left buried a long time ago start to surface when she realizes he's not the man she thought he was. CB. NV.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Gossip Girl, not any quotes/lyrics used.
Rating: PG-15
A/N – A special thanks to the ever lovely Tatiana for her BETA.
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"And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me, and I'm not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am"
Johnny Rzeznik 'I'm Still Here'
He knew this journey well, his back and legs knew his journey well, but he didn't know why this time it took such a toll on him when he blinked awake.
That's when he quickly realized what the problem was. A small figure was cuddled next to him, and he'd been supporting her through the night. He shifted slightly to look at her face. Blair was sleeping peacefully, one hand fisted on his shirt, holding onto him, and the other tucked under her chin.
He swallowed.
She smelled like pink flowers, and the feel of her on him instantly hardened him. He cursed and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He was a grown man, for Chrissakes! He was not some hormonal teenager who got hard at the sight of a girl on him!
The carriage shifted, coming to a stop, and Chuck knew they'd arrived. He felt Blair stir, and the thought alone of Blair finding him with a hard-on over her sleeping form quickly deflated him. He thanked his many years of experience.
She seemed to realize she was on him and quickly sat up, wiping at her face with wide brown eyes. It was dawning and light was filtering into the carriage.
"W-where are we?" She stuttered, and he thought she was cute when nervous.
Chuck stuck his head out the carriage window and smirked. "At the gate."
Blair scooted up and stuck her own head out, only to find a long stone wall going for as far as her eye could see over a green grassy hill. The stone wall was higher than a man and very thick.
There was a break in the wall, just wide enough for the carriages to get through, but the carriage stopped before reaching it. She nearly jumped back when two men on horseback came out from hiding behind the wall carrying guns.
When they saw Chuck, a smile broke over their faces.
"Mr. Bass!" They cried, galloping towards them. Chuck jumped out of the carriage, making Blair scramble after him, but he held a hand up for her to stay in.
"Peter arrived four hours ago, sir – your requests were given to Clara," one of them confirmed.
"Good," he nodded. "Call for an escort."
"Yes, sir," the other replied, and took a transponder device out of his tool belt.
As he gave directions, Chuck got back into the carriage, and Blair stared at him.
"Why do we need an escort?" She asked him.
"Because, despite the expensive lengths I have gone through to keep the land reserved, these are desperate times and desperate people have jumped the wall in order to get food," he said quickly. "We've been known to use force."
"How many people are we talking about here?" She asked, studying his profile.
"A few," he nodded, and she heard more horses outside. When she peeked outside, there were three men on horseback and a woman, all armed. Once the carriage driver saw them, he entered beyond the wall.
"So this is all yours?" She asked him.
"I thought it was all ours," he smirked at her, and she was happy at recognizing the devilish boy she had known long ago.
"When did you buy all of this?" She inquired.
"Bart did. I simply noticed it years later… After Japan… And I decided to make it something more," he treaded carefully.
The land was stunning. There were hills covered with soft grass and oxen-like creatures gracing the land, herded by men on horseback that waved their hats to the carriages when they saw it.
She was stunned when Chuck reached out and waved back at them.
"You own cattle?" She asked, amused.
"I don't go near them, but yes – they came with the land," he smile.
"Do all these people work for you?" She wondered in awe.
He shifted, thinking about it. "Yes and no."
She was quickly distracted by a family of reddish deer that trekked in front of them. The men seemed to pause to let them go by, and then they continued their journey across the plains.
"How much land is it?" She couldn't help firing off so many questions.
"Almost twenty square miles," he answered. "This area is very rural… The people here come from different places."
"You go around the world adopting needy people and bring them here?" She asked, still staring at him with slight awe.
He didn't look at her because he didn't like where she was going with this. He made a profit; he was a man who made a profit. He wasn't a philanthropist, a hippy tree-hugging soul. He didn't like this take on his persona that she was etching in her mind.
"Blair – it's not like that –"
"Mr. Bass!"
Blair looked startled and popped her head out the window, and that was when her breath stopped short.
There, nestled amongst the mountains, the valleys and forests was… A village. At the end of the village was a spectacular Tudor-styled home, easily three floors high and poised before the ruins of an old, ancient castle.
"Chuck…" she whispered. Children were running from the small homes in this village and towards the carriages.
People were milling around the village, a lot on horseback, going about their business, working, talking. They were dressed in normal clothing, despite Blair being preparing to see them in medieval skirts. When they children cried out towards the carriage, a lot of people stopped what they were doing and turned to them. Blair wondered why the children came to them, and that was when Jacob, in the carriage behind theirs, handed them over candy, and the kids cried out delightedly.
Blair smiled and turned to Chuck, who was staring at her, gauging her reactions.
"What is this, Chuck?" She asked him as they rode through the village and towards the large home.
"It's my home," he said carefully.
"Yes… I know. But what is this? Do you own them? Do they work for you? Why are they here… This is a town… A village…" Blair was lost for words.
He stared at her intently, judging exactly what she was saying.
"I don't own them, they do work for me… In the sense that I provide shelter, and they work the land for its food. They're here… Because they had no where else to go, and it's called Wallace."
"Wallace?" She asked, confused.
"The name of this. It's called Wallace or Wallace Hills," he explained. "And… I should warn you that despite my asking for them not to call me this… I am at times referred as Lord Bass."
She bit back a laugh but failed. "W-what?"
He looked pink and fumed, turning away.
"I've asked them not to call me that," he spat out.
"Charles Bass, Lord Wallace of Hills…. You're a Lord." She was amused as could be.
"I am not – look, forget I said anything," he muttered.
"Yes, M'lord," Blair grinned.
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"Lord Bass is back!!" Ruby came running into the home, and she stopped what she was doing. Her heart sped.
"He's back!!" Another voice cried, and she looked around happily in her room.
He was back. She knew he would be back! And soon… Everything would change. She couldn't control her grin as she looked over her new room once more.
"Miss Clara!!"
Her door was opened and Ruby's happy smiling face came to view. "Lord Bass is back!"
"I heard you," Clara told the girl and walked to her. "Be on your best behavior and kindly don't shout in his home."
"Oh, Miss Clara!" Ruby continued. "They say she's beautiful – like a Princess!"
Clara shook her head at the young girl as they descended the stairs. "Who is?"
"With dark ebony curls, ruby lips, and pale skin. Like Snow White!" Ruby continued. "They say they're madly in love."
Clara stopped and stared at the girl. "Who?"
"His fiancée, Miss Clara!" Ruby laughed and descended the rest of the steps. Clara paused, her stomach souring as she watched the rest of the girls convene and chat happily, sighing dreamily.
She couldn't believe it. It was a rumor mill once more. She quickly walked out the door that faced the village and saw the carriages coming. He wouldn't do that to her. He wouldn't…
The carriages stopped by the front of the home and he stepped out, graceful as ever. A smile tugged at her lips, the smile that always formed around him. He was alone. She let out a breath of relief. She knew it…
And then he turned into the carriage and held out a hand, and out she came.
Clara's hopes, illusions, and dreams seemed to shatter before her eyes.
There she was. Dark ebony curls, porcelain skin and perfect bow-shaped ruby lips.
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When Chuck reached in and offered her his hand, she looked down at it and considered. Stepping out of the carriage meant that she was embracing this place, this life he had created for himself, for these people and now for her.
What was she debating? She already knew her choice. Really, what life was left for her outside of this? A destroyed New York? The fields of Kansas with Dan and Serena? No. She had made her choice: she had accepted his proposal, and she had done things that a week ago she wouldn't have dreamt of doing. So she took his hand and let him pull her out.
People around her stopped and stared, and she shyly stayed close to Chuck. Chuck waited until Jacob had helped Dorota and her mother out, and then began walking towards the house.
"Everyone is staring at me," she whispered to him, and he smirked.
"They're just curious," he deadpanned and led her up the massive steps into the home.
"Is this your house?" She asked him.
"Yes. I had it built in front of the castle. I'll show you why later," he explained.
They paused before a young woman, who was staring at her in a very strange manner. Blair didn't really know how to place it. Jealousy? Rancor? Hate? Whatever it was – it wasn't good.
She had dark blond hair, tied up in a ponytail with pale skin, wide pale blue eyes and thin lips. She was dressed in a plain denim dress with thick boots and loads of earthy bracelets.
"Clara," Chuck greeted, and the woman stopped staring at Blair and turned to Chuck. Blair saw her eyes instantly change.
"Mr. Bass," she greeted, smile plastered on her face. "We've missed you."
Chuck nodded and motioned to Blair. "I gather you received my message, and Miss Waldorf's quarters are ready?"
Blair gulped when the woman didn't take her eyes off Chuck.
"Y-yes… We misunderstood the message. We didn't expect you to bring company…" she threw a glance (of pure hatred) towards Blair, who nearly reeled back.
A young girl, no more than 10, with thick honey curls and green eyes popped her head behind Clara and looked at Blair with wide innocent eyes.
Blair was taken aback.
"Ruby, are you going to greet Miss Waldorf?" She heard Chuck ask, and the girl smiled at Blair.
"You're pretty," she said shyly.
Blair smiled, and Clara fumed at her. "To your chores, Ruby," Clara snapped at the girl, and Blair decided, instantly that she didn't like Clara. At all.
Chuck throttled ahead, going past Clara. Blair followed him, sparing Clara a swift glance. The two women's eyes met icily.
Blair stopped in the foyer and took in the home that Chuck had built. It was magnificent; tall ceilings, beautiful chandeliers, dark wood with tall, wide windows and a stunning fireplace in the midst of the small sitting room.
It was dark and rustic, yet homey and full of all the classic splendor Chuck had grown up knowing in New York. She also noticed quite a few Asian influences, and she wondered once more about his time in Japan that made him close up before so very drastically.
"I think it best we settle in, and then I'll give you a tour," Chuck announced, watching as she took in his home.
He didn't know exactly what to feel as she studied his house with bright eyes. She looked absolutely fascinated by it, which pleased him to no end.
"C'mon, Blair," he reached a hand, and she took it without even looking at him.
"Chuck… It's beautiful," she said softly, and he gave her a small smile as he led her up the grand staircase.
Clara almost ran over Blair as she went ahead of them.
"Perhaps a small tour be good," she said, her dark blond hair bouncing behind her.
Chuck stared at her, confused. "Miss Waldorf is tired, Clara – I'll show her to her quarters."
Blair saw the woman's face panic.
"It's not ready!"
Blair's inner bitch, long dormant, peeked out.
"Oh, I don't mind – you'll find me to be much more complacent than you think me to be," Blair smiled all too sweetly at her.
She felt Dorota giving her a disapproving look from behind her. She ignored it.
Clara's nostrils flared as she stared at Blair, and that was when Blair knew the girl was hiding something in her supposed quarters.
"Show me, Chuck – I can't wait to see it," she placed her gloved hand on his chest, and he looked down curiously at Blair, who smiled charmingly at him.
Chuck studied Blair. Perhaps it was her lack of sleep through the long trip, but she seemed more and more like her old self. There was a slight smirk on her lips, which reminded him of her scheming self. He didn't know why, but it made her all the more attractive.
He didn't reply, simply pulled her with him as they continued up the stairs and Clara fussed next to them.
"You really should let me complete all the preparations, Sir," she continued, intent on ignoring Blair.
"It's quite alright, Clara – please make sure Miss Waldorf's luggage is brought to her room," Chuck said distractedly.
Blair smiled once more sweetly at Clara. "Yes, thank you, Clara."
Clara insisted on staying with them as they reached the top of the stairs, which only served to confirm Blair's suspicions. Before Blair knew it, they stood before a large mahogany door, and Clara plastered herself before it.
"It really is quite unsuitable, sir!"
Blair didn't miss a beat and nearly pushed her off. "It really is no trouble."
And then the door was opened, and Blair sauntered in as Chuck studied her reaction to the room he had set aside for her.
Blair stopped the moment she entered it. This really was not what she was expecting. Tall ceilings, thick lush carpet, beautiful pastoral paintings on the walls, and a large impressive bed with soft blue silk sheets. There were lovely ivory lamps around the room and scattered around the large suite were hydrangeas in beautiful glass vases. Blair gasped, taking in the place, including the gorgeous large windows that revealed a view of the ruins of the castle.
Chuck leaned back on the wall, stuffed his hands in his pockets as she studied her view.
"Does it meet your standards, Miss Waldorf?" He drawled out, and she instantly turned to him.
She loved it, he could tell.
"A girl can never tell… Unless she inspects the closet," she smirked at him, and he pleasantly went to open the closet.
Blair spied Clara close her eyes in mortification, and that was when she knew what was happening here. The girl had been living in this room.
Low and behold, a few sad pieces hung from the closet.
Chuck looked taken aback. Blair put her most innocent face.
"Oh… Are those mine?" She asked Clara.
Clara's eyes opened, and she glowered at Blair.
"No… Clara whose are these?" Chuck demanded, and Jacob scurried forward.
Clara remained quiet.
"Miss Parker, whose are these?" Jacob demanded.
"T-they're mine, sir. Apologies, I'd been using the room in your absence. It won't happen again."
Chuck stared at her, confused, and Jacob looked aghast.
"Have them removed promptly," Chuck commanded obviously not happy with Clara. He took Blair's elbow, showing her the other side of the room.
Blair stared at the mahogany door before them, and looked at Chuck questioningly. He leaned and opened the door, revealing a small hallway and a door on the other end.
"That's my room, in case of anything," he said quietly – just for them.
Her eyes widened as she studied him. A tiny hallway was the only thing that separated them from one another. Just a little hallway. Four steps, and she was his.
She swallowed and nodded.
Chuck turned to look at Jacob. "Please show Mrs. Waldorf and Dorota to their quarters."
Jacob promptly nodded and turned to point Dorota to the door. She pretended he didn't exist until Blair sent her glance, and she finally acquiesced to admit he was real. Blair watched them leave, then looked at Clara, who was looking as upset as she had been since the moment she had laid eyes on Blair.
"Clara," Chuck begun. "I need preparations for the wedding. I'm sure Blair will instruct you in whatever she needs."
Blair stared at Chuck. "Where are you going?" She asked him.
"I need sleep," he shrugged off his coat and handed it over to Clara, without looking at her. "And I gather you need it, too. I'll see you at dinner." And with that he took her hand and kissed the back of it, walking away.
Blair took a sharp breath and was left staring at Clara as Chuck's men started placing her luggage inside of the suite.
Clara stared at her defiantly, and Blair rolled her eyes, walking to the windows.
"I wouldn't get too comfortable, Miss Waldorf," Clara came up behind her.
Blair arched a brow and without turning sighed. "I would remove your clothes from my closet." Then she turned. "And thought you may not like it, I am now and will be the Lady of this house."
Clara's nostrils flared. "You're not the first one, you know. He's had women before."
Blair gave her a 'you don't know how many women I've seen with Chuck look'. "Call the press."
But this only served to give Clara a wider smile. "And you're not his first wife either."
This was news. Blair blinked at her, willing herself not to show emotion, but the girl was smart and smirked at Blair, turning and walking away.
Blair slowly sat on her bed as Clara's words echoed over and over in her head.
You're not his first wife.
She felt sick.
She didn't know why, but she felt sick.
She had no idea what to do with that information… All she needed to do was walk down the hallway and into Chuck's room and demand the truth. That was all she needed to do, but this entire situation felt sour.
So she decided, once the men had left her room and a young shy girl removed Clara's clothes from her closet, that she just wanted to lay down on her bed and sleep. And sleep she did.
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When she woke, it was dark and only the soft glow of the night lamp prevented her from scrambling up, scared out of her mind. She was in a strange place, a strange room with an all too familiar story around her.
There was a soft knock on her door as she closed the curtains that faced the castle, because the truth was, that it was creepy at night.
"Come in," she said, and she smiled when Ruby entered. Ruby gave her a small bow.
"Can I help you get ready for dinner?" She asked Blair.
Blair smiled at her. "Where's Dorota?"
"The Ukrainian?" Ruby asked, and Blair nodded. "She's helping Mrs. Waldorf with a bath."
"Oh…" Blair looked around and noticed all her suitcases were empty.
"We placed all of your clothing in the closet," Ruby pointed. "It was wrong of Clara to think this her room."
Blair smiled and walked to the closet – this time the large and organized space belonged to the clothing Chuck had bought her, and what little she had left of her own.
"What do you think I should wear?"
But Ruby had bounced to the other end of the closet. "Is this your wedding dress?"
The young girl was pointing at the ivory gown, and Blair nodded. "Yes."
"It's beautiful… Like a princess dress," Ruby whispered, touching the fine lace.
"C'mon," Blair pulled her from the dress. It mostly made her uncomfortable because some time in Chuck's past, he'd seen another woman walk down an isle. And who knew what had happened to her? Was she still alive? Had they divorced? Did he keep her in the attic? One hundred and one question that he was certainly answering tonight.
"I think you should wear this," Ruby put in, pointing to a short dark green cocktail dress, cap sleeves, cinched waist and a flowing shirt. "With these shoes!" And she picked up from the array of shoes a pair of strappy silver sandals.
"You have good taste," Blair smiled at the girl.
"My sister was a designer before the crash… I remember when I was little, I used to play in the shops," Ruby put in as Blair took the dress from the hanger.
"My mother was a designer, too," Blair replied.
"Oh, I know," she smiled.
Ruby helped Blair as best as she could to zip up her dress and comb her hair. Once she was done, Ruby pulled Blair's hand and took her to her dresser.
"Lord Bass had this brought for you," she said, and Blair opened the drawer. She gasped when she looked in to find a bottle of Chanel no. 5.
He remembered. She smiled slightly as she touched the bottle.
She hadn't had perfume in years. She softly picked it up and opened it, letting the scent invigorate her.
Oh, how she missed it!
She dabbed only a little behind her ears and then behind her knees.
"Your wrists?" Ruby asked, studying Blair's every move.
"No… let him find the scent," Blair winked at her, and Ruby smiled blissfully.
"You look even prettier than before," Ruby exclaimed as she led Blair out of her room and into the outside hallway. That's when they ran into Dorota.
"Miss Blair, I stay with your mama," Dorota informed her.
"What's wrong? Is she ok?" Blair asked, concerned. She'd been so pre-occupied lately that she hadn't really fussed over her mother.
"She fine, Miss Blair. That Mister Jacob brought her food, and she ate in her room," Dorota explained with a bit of a sour expression.
"Oh… ok. Let me know if you need anything," Blair told her, squeezing her hand as Ruby led her away.
Blair was refreshed enough to study the home as Ruby led her to the dinning room. The house was beautiful: new construction that had beem customized to look flawless. It looked aged and historic. She loved it.
When they entered the dinning room, Chuck was entering on his end. So that they both entered together.
He stared at her. She looked absolutely stunning, in a vintage Stella McCartney dress that he had handpicked himself.
"Thank you, Ruby," he said, and the little girl gave Blair a smile before nodding and running out of the room. "Your mother?" He asked.
"She ate in her room, Dorota is with her," Blair explained, taking the seat he offered her.
She watched him as he walked to his seat and two menservants poured some wine in their goblets.
"I suppose it's just you and me," he said, tugging at his collar.
She nodded, thanking one of the men as they placed the salad before her. Chuck quickly dug in, obviously hungry.
She had a bone the size of Whales to pick.
"Chuck?" She asked him, placing the napkin delicately on her lap.
He stopped and stared at her.
She gulped, because she really didn't want to have this conversation with him at all.
"Will I be your first wife?" She finally asked.
And he didn't have to say anything – not a word. He simply set down his fork and leaned back.
"I see," she said, averting her eyes. "What happened?"
"She died," he replied evenly, without a hint of emotion.
Blair opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"In Japan… during the bombings," he continued softly.
"Did you love her?" She asked quietly, so afraid of the answer that the question itself burned her tongue.
He looked at her. "No. We knew each other for less than ten days, and she was a sweet girl who didn't deserve to die so young."
Blair took a breath and looked down. "Then why did you marry her?"
Chuck's jaw twitched as memories of a young Japanese girl, smiling and laughing, flashed before his eyes.
"I really don't want to talk about it." And he continued eating his field greens.
Blair stared at him for a while.
She didn't know what to think. Relief that he didn't love the girl? Anger for him not sharing this information with her before? Sadness for all of his loss?
She didn't know. When it came to Chuck Bass, she just didn't know anymore.
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To be continued
