Kenny knocked on the Broflovski's front door. Ike answered, at first he just had his normal blank eyed stare, but when he saw Kenny his eyes lit up. His eyes widened and his smile grew until it spread across his face. "Kenny!" Ike exclaimed, "Did you come to teach me an important life lesson today?"
Kenny smiled, "Sure, but it has to be a short one today." He put his hands in his pockets and thought for a moment. Ike was only eleven, and sometimes I worried about what Kenny was teaching him. "Okay so here it is, there is enough sperm in one single man to impregnate every woman on the planet. So what I'm sayin' is you have a gift in your pants."
I just stared at Kenny, he looked so proud and Ike looked so happy. "What the hell Kenny?" I asked, I was mostly just wondering how he knew this, or why he knew this.
"It's a rock fact!" Kenny stated happily, he turned back to Ike. Ike looked very pleased with this newly acquired information.
"Oh my god! This is so neat-o!" Ike exclaimed happily. He was on the road to corruption, but he was still so young. He just said 'neat-o' for Christ's sake.
"Is Kyle home?" Kenny asked Ike.
Ike nodded, "Yeah-! He's upstairs." Ike moved out of the doorway letting us in. Kenny and I walked up to Kyle's room and knocked on the door. We waited for a moment and there was no response. "Maybe he's sleeping." I suggested.
Kenny shrugged and then opened the door. Inside the room there was a soft whirr of a fan, and the sound of Kyle breathing. Kyle was laying under a mountain of blankets and used tissues were strewn across his comforter. Kenny and I walked over to his bedside. Kyle was asleep, his hat laying on his pillow like it had fallen off. "Look at how sweet he is." Kenny cooed.
I swear he was doing this just to piss me off. What was he up to? Kenny didn't just fall in love with people, Kyle didn't just sleep around. This was all too weird, all too hard for me to believe.
Kyle stirred when Kenny talked. His emerald eyes fluttered open and he glanced between the two of us. "Huh? What are you guys doing here?" Kyle asked, his voice was scratchy and low.
"We're here to check on you." I told him, he looked pale and tired.
"I'm glad you woke me up, I've been asleep all day." Kyle shifted into a sitting position and looked at us both.
"I wish I had been asleep all day." Kenny stated, sitting down on the end he if Kyle's bed. He ran a hand through his blonde hair then let his arm fall at his side.
I just looked at them, I didn't know what I was doing here. I felt weird being here, like they had some joke they were leaving me out of. I didn't have anything to say to them though. "Stan you look upset." Kyle commented, he looked worried, Kyle always looked slightly worried.
"Nah, I'm just tired." I shrugged slightly, "And I'm not looking forward to going out to see that movie with Bebe."
"Hey man, I told you I'd come. Kyle will probably come too if he's better." Kenny glanced at Kyle, who nodded.
"Yeah, it's just that, I don't like Bebe. Like, as in and I don't want to date her, I feel like I'm leading her on or something." I sat down next to Kenny on the edge of the bed.
Kenny patted me on the back, "You have a lot to learn. You're not leading her on. Just sleep with her once to at least get something out of it." Kenny laughed. I shook my head.
"You guys, it was real sweet of you to come check up on me and all, but I think I might be contagious. I don't want to get you guys sick." Kyle smiled weakly, "I'll probably be back in school on Thursday, Friday at the latest."
"You know, you're more likely to catch a cold from someone by sitting next them on a couch then by full on making out with them. So what I'm saying is wanna wake out?" Kenny asked with a cheeky grin.
Kyle laughed horsely, Kenny joined in his laughter. I groaned softly, I prayed to God that they wouldn't keep this up.
Kyle returned to school on Friday. He still had a cough but he spent the who day assuring me (and Kenny) that he was alright. At lunch he hardly ate anything though, but I figured that was a part of the sickness.
I watched Kyle all day, it was like I had missed seeing him for the time he was gone. Kenny was always hovering around Kyle though, they'd talk and laugh together. At one point Cartman noticed me staring and hit in the back of the head and said, "Stop staring at Kahl you stupid fag."
I was worried that someone knew how I really felt. I hoped Cartman didn't know how I really felt. If anyone was to know it should be Kyle, too bad I was still grounded from him. I wished that we were able to hang out, but we were going to the movies tonight so maybe I could talk to him then. Except coming out to my best friend in a movie theater wasn't my first choice.
Bebe had been talking nonstop about how excited she was to see the movie, which happened to be a new Marvel movie. She was especially happy to be going to see it with me as her 'date'. I still hadn't found a way to break it to her that I wasn't into her.
After school I was putting my books in my locker and she walked up and snaked her arms around me giving me a hug. "Are you excited for the movie tonight?" She asked as I closed my locker.
"Yeah." I answered half heartedly. I was excited for the movie, I wasn't excited to go hang out with Bebe and watch Kyle and Kenny flirt with each other all night.
Just then Kyle walked by and he stopped for a moment. I looked at him, we made eye contact and I gave him a save-me-please look. Kyle walked over, "Hey guys."
Bebe let go of me and turned to Kyle, smiling. "Hey Kyle, are you excited to go see that movie tonight?" I had told Bebe that Kenny and Kyle were coming with us, she didn't seem to mind.
"Oh yeah, it looked really good." Kyle smiled sweetly, damn he was so cute. I couldn't believe that he wanted to date Kenny.
"Bebe, come on we have to go!" Called Wendy from down the hall. She was standing next to Cartman.
"I'll see you two tonight." Bebe smiled and then walked off down the hall towards them. I looked at Cartman, he flipped me off. I wondered what he was up too.
"Do you wanna hang out before we go to the movie? We haven't hung out in awhile." Kyle said, he looked at me and smiled. It was then that I realized how much shorter I was then him.
"I'm grounded from you." I replied, "My dad called your mom and told her to not let me come over."
"Jesus Christ, our parents are insane." Kyle sighed, "We can go to the pond, at least then we can hang out."
"Yeah, let's go." We started to walk to the pond through the snow. It had stopped snowing but there was still about four inches in the ground.
"Jesus, I hate the snow." Kyle mumbled, "When I'm older I'm going to move to someplace warm, like Florida."
"Florida is too far away." I told him, we got to the clearing where the pond was. It was frozen over as it always was this time of year.
"Yeah, I don't know about Florida. Maybe California." Kyle stopped at the edge of the frozen lake. I walked up and stood next to him.
"California could be nice." I replied, he nodded in response. "You probably shouldn't be out here in the snow, you might catch another cold."
"Eh, it's worth it to hang out with you." Kyle smiled, I looked at him. Maybe I should've just told him I liked him right then and there. He was acting so weird with the whole Kenny thing.
"Remember how I told you I had a crush on someone?" I asked, tearing my gaze away from him.
"Yeah, but I figured out who it is."
"What? Really? Who is it?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows.
"It's Bebe, obviously." Kyle stated, he seemed a bit upset, It was over in a second though. Maybe I had just imagined it. Maybe I wanted Kyle to be upset, I did want him to like me back. I was getting no where though, I was just getting jealous of Kenny and Kyle.
"What? No dude, you've got it all wrong. I don't like Bebe like that." I shook my head, "Do you really see me dating Bebe?"
"Well she always flirts with you and you agreed to go on this date thing with her." Kyle pointed out.
"I felt pressured, I don't actually like her." I wanted him to stop before it got any worse.
"Oh, then who do you like?" Kyle asked immediately, he seemed to have a one track mind.
"I'm not going to tell you." I picked up a handful of snow and formed a snowball in my hand.
"Dude, you don't just bring shit up if you're not going to talk about it!" Kyle complained, crossing his arms. "Come on, tell me."
"Fuck off Kyle." I laughed and threw the snowball at him, hitting him in the face. "It's no big deal." I wanted the subject to change, even if it meant I got pelted with a hoard of snowballs.
I did end up getting pelted with a hoard of snowballs.
Kyle had dropped the subject, at least for today, and attacked me with snowballs. Things got pretty intense in our snowball fight, I guess he was annoyed that I wouldn't tell him. He climbed a tree to get a better shot at me, it worked. "You shouldn't have started it, do you want to give up now?" Kyle asked, still sitting in the tree.
"Yes, I give up." I laughed, I was covered in snow from head to toe. Kyle laughed and climbed down the tree. I dusted myself off as best I could but I was already soaking wet. "Jesus, I'm gonna have to go home and change."
"That sucks for you, next time you throw snow at me, remember this." Kyle seemed pleased.
I grabbed my phone out of my backpack that I had discarded in the snow. "Shit dude, we have to be at the theater in like thirty minutes."
"You better go home and change, I'll see you soon." Kyle smiled, then we parted ways. When I got home I changed clothes and brushed my hair before putting my hat back on. I debated not wearing my hat, but in the end I decided it was to cold not to wear it.
I slipped on a different jacket, a black one instead of my usual brown one, and started walking to the movie theater. It wasn't that far away, which was good for me. I needed a car, maybe I'd get one for my birthday that was coming up, but chances seemed slim. When I got to the theater my hands were numb, and my nose was ice.
The movie theater was small, to go with the rest of the tiny town. All the movies seemed to get to this theater about a month after they hit the ones in bigger cities. Inside I saw Bebe talking to Kyle, how'd that bastard get here before me? I guess he didn't have to go change clothes. I approached the two, smiling as I got close. "Hey guys, where's everyone else?"
Bebe smiled and flipped her hair out of her face to look at me. She was wearing a low cut shirt and a push-up bra, probably just to attract attention. Bebe was pretty, I did have to admit that. She spent hours on her appearance, Wendy had told me many times, but she just wasn't my type. She was too wild and unstable for me. I wanted someone who I could rely on, someone who would always be there for me.
Like Kyle.
Why was I comparing Bebe to Kyle? Why was even comparing anyone I had I had an interest in to Kyle?
"Look Kenny is right there." Bebe said, turning towards the door and smiling as Kenny walked in.
"I'm so ready to watch this movie. Jesus Christ is cold as balls out there." Kenny informed us as he walked over to join the group.
"Wendy said she's running a bit late." Bebe was looking down at her phone, probably texting Wendy. "We should get popcorn while we wait for them."
"I'll get it." I volunteered.
"Let me come with you." Kyle smiled and together we walked over to the counter to get popcorn.
I glanced behind us at Bebe and Kenny who were talking and laughing, Kenny's eyes glued on Bebe's boobs and Bebe not minding. I didn't understand why Kyle would want to date Kenny, Kenny was not Kyle's type at all. Kyle was too sensitive for Kenny.
Kyle didn't seem to mind that Kenny was so flirtatious with everyone though. Maybe he just accepted that Kenny wasn't going to change and decided that was okay. Shit, I hope not.
After we got popcorn we returned to Kenny and Bebe. "Wendy just got here." Bebe stated, smiling happily.
In walked Wendy- and Cartman?! Holding hands? What the hell? Suddenly it all clicked, Cartman acting weird, Cartman being with Wendy on the bus and at school. He had been going to her house after school, that's why he had gone down the same block and me and Kyle.
"Jesus fucking Christ, you left me for this fat ass!" I said, I didn't even mean to say it, but seeing Cartman and Wendy together made my blood boil. Cartman was such a stupid fuck and Wendy, well she deserved better than him.
Cartman narrowed his eyes at me, "Listen here you damn hippie, you need to control your feelings for Wendy or I will personally smash your face in."
I just gave Cartman a strange look. It was so unlike him to care like that, he sounded genuine. "Uhh..." I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn't. I couldn't wrap my mind around how Wendy and Cartman were a thing now.
Wendy let go of Cartman's hand. "Stan, I want to talk to you, I think we left a few things unsaid that needed to be said. Why don't you guys all go into the movie and we'll come meet you in a few minutes?" Wendy asked sweetly, soon everyone left and it was just me and her.
"Wendy I can't believe you left me for that piece of shit." I told her, crossing my arms. "Everyone knows how much of an asshat Cartman is."
"Eric," Wendy started off, correcting me on calling him his last name, "Can be very kind when he wants to be. Stan I don't want this to get in the way of everything. We have some great friends in there, I want us to be able to get along well enough that we can go see a movie with them."
I thought about that for a moment. "I just can't believe you would leave me for Cartman, I must've been a pretty shitty boyfriend."
"If you're going to whine about this, then go back home. I want to have a fun night with my friends." Wendy raised her voice slightly, I could tell I was making her upset. I didn't want to hurt her feeling so I just let it drop.
"Yeah, fine whatever." I mumbled, turning to walk into the theater. I was pouting like a little kid, but I'm sure anyone would if their girlfriend had left them for Eric Cartman.
The movie was alright, the special effects were kind of cheesy, and the plot line was dull. I sulked throughout the whole thing though, I still couldn't believe Cartman and Wendy were dating. Bebe tried to hold my hand during the movie, I like her but I didn't make any action to hold it back. I didn't think she noticed. When the movie ended we all stood in the hall talking.
Cartman was standing next to me, one of his arms around Wendy. Kyle was standing on the other side, talking to Kenny. I was just kind of standing there, not talking to anyone. "Bebe we have to go, I have to go babysit in a few minutes."
Bebe and Wendy left together, after Wendy and Cartman had shared a kiss. Cartman looked genuinely happy, it made me fucking sick. "We should all hang out." Kenny suggested, "It's been awhile."
Cartman's gaze flickered between me and Kenny. "I would, but I think Stan's mad at me." He chuckled softly, "I did steal his girl after all."
I groaned, "Shut up fatass, you and Wendy won't last a week. You're a piece of shit."
Cartman shook his head, "Dude, you broke up with Wendy like every other day. I'm already doing better than you."
"Well, you're racist, rude, and inconsiderate as fuck. I'm better than you." I pointed out. I figured this was true, Cartman was a lowlife prick. I wasn't as bad as him, at least I didn't think so. Even if I was as bad as him I didn't mind calling him out on his shit, someone needed to keep Cartman in line.
"You're just like a Russian doll, so full of yourself." Cartman retorted.
I started to say something but then just groaned again, "Have fun hanging out you guys." I turned the other way and left. I kept walking until I was outside of the theater, there was no reason to stay in there. Outside snow fell lightly and a chilly wind blew right through me.
I stopped for a moment just to take everything in.
Wendy, the girl who I had chased all my life, was dating Cartman. Kyle, my best friend and new crush, I guess, was getting fucked by Kenny. Kenny was getting himself into what seemed like a committed relationship. I was sure the earth had fallen off its axis.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked behind me and saw Kyle standing there. "Why aren't you hanging out with them?" I asked immediately.
"Stan, we're super best friends." Kyle said, like that was an answer to my question.
"It's damn cold out here, I'm going home." I shook his hand off my shoulder and started walking towards home.
"Stan-" Kyle started.
I turned to look at him and cut him off, "Don't you have anything better to do? Go fuck Kenny or something." Kyle looked slightly hurt, but I just turned and continued walking towards home. I didn't want to turn around and look at Kyle, but I knew he was still standing there. I turned the first corner I could just to get out of his sight.
If I kept walking this way, it was going to take me forever to get home. I couldn't swallow my pride and go back the other way though, so I just kept walking. I decided that since Tweek Bros. was just a block away I would get some coffee. Maybe it would help me not freeze my ass off on the rest of the way home.
Harbucks and Tweek Bros. we're both still in business. It was surprising honestly. I couldn't tell the difference between the coffee, I just always went to Tweek Bros. because it made me feel like I was doing good, you know? Helping a local company and all.
Inside it was warm and quiet. I ordered just a straight black coffee. Tweek was working the counter that evening, he twitched slightly when I ordered. "You really just want plain black coffee?" He asked.
"Well, what do you think?" I asked in return. I figured Tweek probably knew more about coffee than I did.
Tweek just shook his head, "Let me make you - ngh- something better."
I just shrugged and went to go sit down. After a few minutes Tweek brought me my coffee. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it." Tweek smiled, he waited around for me to take a sip. Whatever it was, it was good. "This is really good." I commented, I even smiled despite how fed up
I was with everything. Tweek seemed to beam as he returned to the counter.
Didn't Mr. Tweak always say the coffee was like a warm sweater in the winter or some shit?
It definitely felt like that.
I decided I didn't want to leave yet, the outside was too cold and unforgiving. I heard the bell by the door ring and turned my head in curiosity of who walked in. To my surprise it was Butters. He ordered a hot chocolate, I figured he would he didn't strike me as the type of person to drink coffee, and then his eyes scanned across the coffee shop. His eyes settled on me and then he walked over. "H-hey Stan." He greeted, his face forever smiling.
"Hey Butters." I replied, I didn't really want to talk to him. He slid in across from me in the booth. It had been such a long time since I actually had a conversation with Butters. Our talk was limited to school work and occasionally how things were. I had kind of missed him when he stopped hanging out with us, honestly, though I would never admit it. I had been such a dick to Butters, when in all reality, he wasn't that bad. His kindness balanced out our erratic friend group, but I think we were too rude to him. He would never say that though, he was overflowing with kindness.
"I'm surprised to see you here, I just figured you would have something fun to do. It is Friday night after all." Butters pointed out, matter of factly.
"Well I was with my friends, but I kinda ditched out on them." I sipped at my coffee. Tweek brought over Butters hot chocolate, Butters thanked him before he left.
Butters took a sip of hot chocolate before saying anything. "You always look kinda sad at school." Butters said softly, "I know we haven't really talked for a few years, but if you ever need me your good pal Butters will always be here."
Great.
Now I was getting consoled by Butters fucking Stotch.
I forced a smiled and nodded, "Thanks Butters."
"You're welcome Stan." He was so full of joy, sometimes it was sickening. Maybe with all the negativity in my life I needed a little joy though. I don't know if I could go as far as hanging out with Butters, after all he was still, well, Butters. Hanging out with him in a group was okay, but I couldn't hang out with him alone.
I had made myself feel like shit. What if I really messed up and had lost all my friends. I wondered if one day I would have to hang out with Butters alone, because I had pissed off all my other friends. I imaged I'd grow old alone (hopefully with the company of a few dogs). I had lost my girlfriend to Eric Cartman and I'd lost my best friend and crush to Kenny McCormick. I was just accepting I had a crush on Kyle now, it made no difference he was still fucking Kenny.
Butters was still sitting across from me, drinking his hot chocolate. If all else failed at least I'd have him to fall back on, at least that's what he told me anyways. "I should get going." I said standing, I couldn't sit for another minute.
Butters nodded, "See ya at school." I left, back out into the cold. It was dark now, but the snow had stopped falling. I was still cold from earlier, half a cup of coffee didn't provide much warmth.
Eventually I made it home, half frozen with numb fingers and toes. Inside my house it was dark and quiet, I figured my parents were on a date. Sparky was asleep on the couch, he looked up at me before laying his head back down and resuming his nap. I took off my shoes and grabbed the blanket off the back of my couch, wrapping it around me.
I wandered into the kitchen and over to the fridge. We never had any good food, and tonight was no exception. Instead I found myself looking through my dads alcohol collection. I eventually decided on drinking S'more Schnapps, because it was sweet and I knew I could get drunk off it quickly.
I looked for a bottle open and popped the top off the bottle, I strolled back into the living room. I flopped down next to Sparky on the couch and turned on the tv. The Schnapps was good, after the first sip I knew I would want another bottle. I knew that this wouldn't be enough.
I finished the first bottle too fast, then I stood up too fast, everything just seemed to be going too fast. I felt like shit, but I figured that drinking more wouldn't hurt much. I was already pretty drunk, I wondered how much alcohol the S'more Schnapps contained. My mind was swimming as I stumbled back into the kitchen to find another bottle.
I fumbled with the bottle opener and eventually got it open, downing half the bottle right after. Jesus, why was this stuff so sweet?
Kyle always told me I was a sad drunk- fucking Kyle. Why didn't I just tell him that I liked him? That was a great idea, I'd just tell him I liked him. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Kyle, he answered after two rings. "Kyle... I have... I have something important to tell you." My speech was slurred, but I couldn't help it.
"Dude, are you drunk?" Kyle's voice came through the phone, it was loud.
"Kyle, I love you."
"I love you too man. Seriously though, I hope you're not running around drunk." Kyle sounded annoyed.
"Pfft, I'm not drunk. Maybe you're drunk." I laughed, it was a weird laugh, all high pitched. There was ringing in my ears, and my head was starting to hurt. I was so happy to be talking to Kyle but I felt as if I could burst out into tears any moment.
"Stan." Kyle said firmly, he sounded like an upset parent or something. My phone died after that, I just set it on the floor and chugged down the rest of the Schnapps. After sitting on the kitchen floor for a minute, letting my head spin, I decided a third bottle wouldn't do any more harm. I stood up and knew I had made the wrong choice.
I felt my stomach lurch and I got that tingly feeling like right before you were going to toss your cookies. I stumbled into the bathroom and practically fell to my knees so I could throw up in the toilet. I dry heaved once, it was a sickening feeling really, then I felt it all come up. I was no stranger to throwing up at this point, thanks to Wendy Testaburger for making me so goddamn nervous all the time.
I puked a second time before flushing the toilet. I pulled myself up by the counter and washed the puke off my mouth. This was fucking disgusting, really.
Really fucking disgusting.
After I decided to go lay in bed, so I crawled up the stairs and too my room. I felt like shit, instead of getting in bed, I just curled up in a ball and laid on the floor.
The room was spinning. My eyes swam with tears, I was so stupid. I had finally decided to give myself up to exhaustion, I felt my consciousness slowly drifting away as my eyes got heavy. "You're a fucking idiot." I mumbled to myself. My head was pounding, I wanted to go to sleep, my body wanted to go to sleep. Questions still swam in my mind, questions I wanted answers to.
I blinked a few times, my eyes traveling up my poster covered walls. I was stuck on a carousel of negative thoughts, everything that had happened today replaying through my mind in slow motion.
When my thoughts became nonsense, I knew I was falling asleep. Now all that was left to do was let go. I looked up at the ceiling before closing my eyes, I had left the damn light on.
I knew I said I was going to update this sooner, but I haven't had a free moment whoops. I promise I'll try to make the updates more regular from now on. I just really wanna thank Dani for helping me with this story! Also everyone else that leaves reviews, reading them makes my day tbh. Thank you for all the support~
