Before I move forward with this chapter, I would like to thank everyone for their patience in waiting for the delayed updates to As You Are. Being a full-time working mother to a special needs child on top of studying for my degree, makes writing as something akin to luxury; a means of escape from my real-world commitments temporarily and it's usually rare in frequency, thus why the delays happened. Even so, thank you so much for your amazing understanding!

Apart from that, I could never appreciate everyone enough for your ongoing support for this story and based on the comments I've received both here and on , the direction of As You Are would be breaking some of my reader's hopes for the future of this story. Also, to address some inquiries on my Tumblr page, this story focuses on both Reiner and Mikasa as the central characters based on their respective p.o.v (apart from third person's) and will be diverging from canon storyline from chapter 114 onwards, though it might be borrowing bits and pieces of the canon scenes that could be fitted into As You Are's universe.

I understand that everyone has their own specific favorites and attachments to certain characters/ship, but I strongly recommend the readers to embrace As You Are with an open heart as well as mind. With chapter 122's publication, we've finally reached the final arc of the manga series and I will try my very best to adopt some of the pivotal developments into this story where possible.

This chapter's mood is heavily inspired by Billie Eilish's before i go . It's a bit shorter than usual but mainly because it's been separated into two chapters and the following chapter will be uploaded immediately.

Happy reading! Do share your thoughts or favorite moments in the comments section below :)


As You Are

Chapter Eight

before i go

Main Conference Hall

Paradis General Administration Building

Trost, Wall Rose

The Paradis-Liberio Axis

between

Eldian Island of Paradis Eldian Region of Liberio, Marley;

overseer(s);

Council of Advisors, World Allied Nations, and

Royal Empire of Hizuru

Herewith the Binding Agreement placed forward by the Council of Advisors as the foundation of the alliance between the Eldian Island of Paradis and Eldian Region of Liberio in Marley, with the mediation by the Royal Empire of Hizuru through the current reigning imperial clan, the Azumabito family. Upon approval and signature by the official representatives present, the alliance will be effective immediately without any prejudice or discrimination either through race, skin or blood.

"Pillar One: Paradis will be governed by Military Administration with the Supreme General elected by the Allied Council until the royal heir, the infant princess Ymir, daughter of the late Queen Historia Reiss of Paradis, reaches her sixteenth name-day. The royal heir will be raised under the protection and caretaking of the royal Azumabito family in Hizuru with Captain Levi Ackerman as her primary guardian, referring to the terms outlined in the late Queen's final will."

"The Council strongly urges the seat of the Supreme General to be filled in by the Commander of the Garrison Division, Dot Pixis, and is subjected to the unanimous agreement by all representatives present."

Everyone inside the well-decorated conference hall remained focused the moment the lead advisor from the World Allied Nations' Council began to read out the final judgment and proposed agreement outlined in the official parchment. All the military Commanders from both main powers involved nodded with indisputable acceptance and a promised loyalty to the new Supreme General of the Eldian island. The only concern that ran through Commander Pixis' mind in a fleeting thought at that time was -- he could only hope he would live long enough to retain the throne until the infant princess's sixteenth birthday.

The bald-headed veteran could really use some drinks to soothe his nerves after the council adjourns, but he suddenly remembered that he recently swore off any forms of alcohol ever since they discovered that all of the liquors from Marley they had been drinking for the past few years had been poisoned with Zeke Jeager's spinal fluid. He'd almost end up as Titan fodder or worse, a Titan himself and would not still be alive and breathing because of his reckless habit.

It was time for him to kick his drinking to the curb and embrace sobriety in order to uphold his biggest responsibilities yet to the ruler of his homeland. To their monarch.

"Pillar Two: The Founding Titan will be transferred into Marley's possession immediately through Eren Jeager's execution. This is to be enacted through the Jaw Titan's consumption as the execution method the day after this ruling is made."

Mikasa's hands, they shook so hard the moment the second pillar was read aloud by the lead advisor. They gripped her overcoat so tight that the protruding veins became even more painfully apparent as she struggled to release the breath she was holding. The raven-haired mixed royalty; of Hizuru's shogun lineage and the legendary Ackerman family blood, looked at the hands resting on her lap, praying hopelessly that they would not let her down.

They need more time. Please, just a little bit more. That was all she's asking.

A large, roughened palm covered both her trembling hands in uncertainty. She didn't need to question whose hand did it belong to. After their mutual agreement yesterday, they both were taking the seats representing the nation of Hizuru at the ruling. Her granite eyes darkened as they landed on their joined hands. She could easily dismiss and pushed his hand away but she was already on the verge of coming apart at the seams as the thundering of heart against her ribcage was getting too much for her to bear.

The fact that Eren, who was sitting next to the Council's stand and bound in chains, was looking back at her direction made her feel even worse than before.

He would have known about the wedding already.

Mikasa somewhat felt a dreadful feeling that resembled guilt - like she was betraying Eren by sitting where she was. Next to the only person who he ever regarded as someone he had aspired to be at one point in his life. As a big brother, a rival, an enemy. Whom she unknowingly swore her loyalty to, against their wishes.

The same hand gripped her own gently in his palm - aware of its mildly intrusive nature, at least to her - yet his warmth was a reassuring surprise as it pulled her back from her thoughts before they spiraled down further into a dark passage. Their fingers intertwined and at that moment, Mikasa believed he was only returning the favor done during their wedding ceremony.

Meanwhile, a voice at the back of Reiner's head silently mused in a passing thought that despite the huge difference in their hand sizes, her dainty fingers fit easily between his own digits. He was expecting the impending force from her refusal towards his rather repulsive touch yet, she never pulled away.

He held on even tighter that the blood running through their veins might as well become one. He couldn't take her worries away but the only thing he could do was just ensuring her that he would always be by her side through it all.

"Pillar Three: The remaining Titan shifters are allowed to spend the remaining years of their lives in voluntary retirement from field assignments and will not take up arms against any other countries unless it is for the sole purpose of defense. They will be allowed to retain their current positions in an administrative capacity - the only reason deemed acceptable by the Council. Otherwise, the holders of the Titan powers would face immediate termination."

"Within the last month of their tenure, or earlier depending, they will be consumed by the last vessel, who will be chosen by the Council on a later date. The last vessel will consolidate all Titan powers and crystalize the powers as an effort to prevent any future Eldians, specifically the bloodline of the First Titan, from inheriting the destructive force's supernatural abilities."

"Pillar Three, sub-section one (1): In regards to the War Chief of Marley, Reiner Braun; given that his past grievances and the nature of his crimes against humanity in the year 845 and 850 had been conducted under the orders of the old Marley government and due to his current status as the new Lord of the Hizuru nation, he is prohibited from the soils of Paradis indefinitely. He may appoint a formal representative on his behalf upon need for official purposes in the future. This section, however, will not apply to his future descendants."

They exchanged a look of silent understanding between them before Reiner turned his gaze away hurriedly, causing Mikasa to stare back uneasily at the lead advisor who continued reading the official document in his hand.

He was now facing banishment from the only place he'd ever felt at home most in his whole entire life.

While she, who tends to shy away from any physical contact with anyone who's unfamiliar to her, for reasons unknown found a small sense of solace when he welcomed the reassuring squeeze of her hand against his, causing Reiner's eyes to linger at the tenderness there.

He would no longer be accepted here on this island but at least he would bring a part of that home with him back to Marley to accompany him for the rest of his life.

"Pillar Four: The Female Titan, with the aid of the Jaw Titan, will be coerced out of her self-confinement. She will not be allowed to return to Marley and will remain in Paradis' custody, specifically under the governance of the Survey Corps division, until her final month due to the nature of her crimes and destruction inflicted on the Island. Until then, she will be permitted contact only from her surviving family with formal documentation and prior approval from the Paradis Government. She will adhere to the terms outlined in this agreement (Refer to Pillar Three)."

Armin, who was sitting between Jean and their Commander, nodded while slowly wiping away the nervous beads of sweat that formed on his temples. His sky blue eyes caught Eren's gaze from across the conference hall, the latter sitting calmly for someone who was just given a death sentence.

The Colossal Titan holder's mind reverted back to the flaxen-haired female shifter. Annie was still in her self-constructed crystal confinement within the Survey Corps' deep underground prison at their new headquarters inside the recently facelifted district of Trost. A thousand burning questions ran through his head - apart from Annie's health and state of mind - including the most important one of all; would Annie even still be alive?

Meanwhile, on the other row, Galliard leaned in and talked into Commander Magath's ears in a low whisper referring to the shifters' judgment with 'At least it's only exile. Anything is better than immediate termination.'

The Council has been merciful enough to allow the remaining shifters, apart from Jeager, to live the remaining time they have left in peace. They had been weapons for their nation's wars and it was time for the weapons to live again as humans.

"Pillar Five: The Council honors the Queen's will and the binding agreement between Hizuru and Liberio, Marley. (Refer to the Marley and Hizuru Alliance Agreement for this section). This section highlights the agreement which underlines the union between both inter-nations through the betrothal of the Princess of Paradis to the future born prince by the Princess of Hizuru that will be solidified in the year 874."

Mikasa averted her gaze downwards, she couldn't bear to look at Eren's face. The unfathomable fact that the fate of Eren's daughter was already predetermined to be involved with her unborn son's -- terrified her a lot.

The grip on her hand tightened, even too much for her own strength and it came to her perception that Reiner's sudden stress was induced by Eren's sharp scrutiny directed towards where they were sitting.

Eren briefly knew how Reiner once felt towards Historia. It was a very ironic design by the Universe as years later, they were at the point where Reiner was now married to the only other important woman in Eren's life - one who had devoted her whole life and heart to him - and would be the one to father a prince with her; whom Eren's daughter will be bound to in the future for humanity's peace.

Eren wanted his daughter's world to be free, liberated from the walls and the Titan's curse but it would still somehow be entangled with Reiner's future heir.

"Pillar Six: A Global Conference will be held every three moons or earlier, when necessary, to track the status of this alliance and progress reports on military, reconstruction, economic and social services standings between the three nations as peace-reserving methods."

All the military Commanders from all the nations involved nodded their heads in acknowledgment and understanding of the future requirements of the alliance.

The day of ruling and binding of the alliance was adjourned.

However, only a handful of them was looking forward to the execution on the next day.

XoXoX

The dark skies were a canvas of bleakness - devoid of stars or even the moon that was hidden amongst the heavy clouds - silent and unforgiving whilst the cold draft of breeze was a pale deathly caress against her skin. The night felt empty, lonely even when she was surrounded by a sea of people around her. The feeling she was experiencing from within was as mundane as the rooftop of the main administration building of Paradis Island's recovering military forces. It was the closest rooftop they were ever allowed access to - well, the closest rooftop that their particular prisoner was allowed access to.

The Council, after passing out the ruling of Eren's judgment, out of their gracious goodwill permitted for his last wish to be granted - to be able to look at the night sky until the last sunrise he would ever get to witness, in the company of his close friends and remaining family. Nevertheless, it came at the cost of his privacy as they were indeed surrounded by the military members of the newly-established alliance.

The younger Mikasa would always let her gaze softens as her vision lingers long, far too long on the face belonging to none other than the son of Dr. Grisha Jeager, the Eldian refugee from Marley. However, the current woman that she has become could no longer gather the strength to even so much stand near the boy that she used to adore, care for and protect so furiously before. Even when tonight would be the final night she would still get to see him alive and breathing. Because as the sun rises in the morning, it would be time for her to say her farewell.

She fought against it. Even HE, someone whom she'd believed would have something to gain from Eren's death, fought entirely against it. Blonde hair and dying amber eyes, the subject of her momentary thoughts was quickly disregarded before it had another opportunity to dwell too long and make a comfortable residence at the back of her jumbled mind.

The chilling air bit through her cold, clammy skin as her hands desperately gripped at her own arms to seek a nonexistent warmth. Ever since the final ruling, there has not been a single word that has been spoken from her lips, at least directly to Eren when God knows the countless thoughts that had been running through her mind.

All the words still remain unspoken.

The said young man, clad in dark plain prison attire, stood on the edge of the building's highest floor, hands chained to each of his side with gun-toting soldiers holding the ends of the steel confinement in tight, vigilant grips. His long dark brown hair billowed calmly in the night air with several loose strands escaping its ties and prickled against his pale skin. The glowing ember from the gas lanterns perched on the ledges only illuminated the calm and pristine expression on his youthful, clean-shaven face despite the circumstances.

"I'm sorry…." Eren Jeager whispered underneath his warm breath, made visible due to the cold temperature of the chilling night. He inhaled once again and this time could fully take in the smell of burnt firewood, roast poultry cooking on a wooden stove and sour ale from the nearby tavern. Scents that regular humans would have taken for granted compared to someone who'd only have several hours left to live.

All the little things that he would no longer get to experience again. At least in this lifetime.

Who knows….

Another strong intake of breath and a gust of cold air chafed the hollow tract from his nose all the way down to his throat.

It would be winter soon, he realized.

He would no longer be alive by the time the first droplets of snow descends the world.

Yet, he wouldn't care about the snow as much compared to not being able to see the friends he had grown to love for the last time or his daughter at the only chance he could ever get, which at this point would remain a hopeless, incomplete wish.

His level of disgrace was even lower than a common death row inmate's.

The momentary silence was broken by his long-time childhood friend and fellow shifter, who made a move to stand vigilant next to him, filling in the space that the earlier guard had left to make way for the Commander's right hand. "It's too late for that isn't it, Eren?"

There was an uncomfortable pause from the Survey Corps' prized strategist. "Sorry's been thrown around a lot lately that it practically means nothing to us, Eren. Your actions spoke louder than your words ever could." Eren's previous words were not lost on Armin's memory the night before Mikasa left for Hizuru as they were bitterly returned to him.

The only remaining female of the 104th recruits remained silent and still the entire time. Standing slightly behind her were Jean and Connie, fully armed as a safety precaution. Behind them were thirty more soldiers from both Paradis and Marley forces in a coordinated formation even though they were in an informal setting. These soldiers were willing to place their lives on the line to provide vigilant security and to avoid any unwarranted attempts of escape by their prisoner.

"I am sorry that everyone was hurt but I am not sorry that it came to this. There was no other better way but where we are right now. But of course, sorry can't save me now."

Armin shook his head furiously, eyes blazing with a fit of well-restrained anger. "You keep saying 'this' and 'this'. What are you really referring to, Eren? That everything is going according to what you've planned?"

The calmness on Eren's face remained unperturbed. "Zeke believed that taking away our right to live and continuity would be the only way our people will be truly free. Armin, I've seen our home and the world still be destroyed through the Attack Titan's eyes if I let Zeke achieve his end goal."

"So, by pushing us away, hurting Mikasa, abandoning Historia, rallying up with Floch, triggering the Rumbling -- those were what you needed to do? You'd almost kill Mikasa and everyone. Do you realize what you've done?"

The son of the late Dr. Grisha Jeager shook his head slowly, his dark brown tresses flailing in the cold night air. "I was too late and Historia was supposed to be safe. Alive. Even with all the memories that I've seen, I still couldn't prevent her death or Sasha's. That would be my only regret. Not the Rumbling. It was the only way to free Ymir."

The Colossal Titan holder shook his head, still finding it truly hard to believe that Eren's actions were justifiable even after his cryptic explanation. "Your daughter?"

Eren remained mum, neither agreeing or disagreeing. Only another deep cold breath escaped his lips in a long exhale. "I have completed my reasons to fight. Believe me, peace and our freedom are finally here."

"Please…..," Mikasa's voice was low and deep and partially broken, exactly the same way she pleaded for both of her dearest childhood friends to cease their fighting at Niccolo's eatery several days earlier. "...Could we just stay like how we used to? We only have tonight." They used to look at the night sky, gazing at the stars above in amazement, wondering with endless curiosity about the world outside the walls. Making promises to have more adventures, growing old side-by-side and watching their own children grow up together.

Although she was very well aware by now that it would never happen the way they hoped.

Both Eren and Armin's heads turned back towards her direction with the latter nodding in a reciprocal understanding. However, Armin saw how Eren bit his lips, trying to keep their last ever conversation going.

"Mikasa, I…….Remember us for who we used to be. Me, Armin and him -- I can feel that there must be a reason why he defies all odds even though Death has always come knocking at his door."

She knew who he was referring to and her inner gut still adamantly refused to believe the inevitable truth - that there was some interstellar reason that could only be orchestrated by a higher power. That everything that was taking place at this exact moment was what the deities have written for all of them. That Reiner had evaded the hands of Death so many times in Paradis and God knows how many more times in Liberio which would be impossible without some divine intervention...

Another low sigh escaped her pale, thin lips. Hasn't she learned anything from her new faith at all?

Izanami, please help her understand. Please give her a sign.

A strong gust of wind, heavy with despair, ran through her raven hair in a gentle caress, the ends of her dark blue overcoat billowed against her knees as the three childhood friends remained in silence, accompanied by their friends and secured military officials.

They would have to be content with the cards that they were dealt with for now.

Eren took in another deep breath and reluctantly asked, "Armin, I need to tell you something but I need a favor from you, for the last time. I need you to put everything that I'll be saying on record. Besides the fact that I was not in a position to explain my reasoning, there is a reason why I couldn't speak about it during the ruling earlier because it might change everything. And I mean everything ..." His words trailed behind him, with nothing short of hesitation.

"What is it, Eren?" A new female voice interrupted their conversation and caused everyone to turn their heads. All of the accompanying soldiers simultaneously lifted their hands in a respectful salute to address the Commander of the Survey Corps division of the military body in Paradis the moment Hange walked forward, approaching both Eren and Armin. "I strongly suggest that you don't keep anything else from our knowledge, Eren."

At that moment, a sudden figure's appearance made Mikasa aware of the new presence next to her. She was quite surprised to see the young girl there, following their Commander's lead apparently. She remembered leaving Gabi and Falco both with Lord Takeshi or at times with her handmaiden Akane at the foreign guest lodgings, under their trusted charge while she as well as Reiner manage their respective responsibilities. However, Gabi remained silent and understanding of their current situation, settling next to Mikasa's side with nothing less than absolute respect and expected silence.

Mikasa couldn't hold back a tiny smile from forming on her face the moment Reiner's younger cousin inched closer and closer until her shoulder touched the older woman's hip very lightly, somewhat offering reassurance or a very much needed comfort at otherwise what would have been a very strained moment. She was worried that seeing Eren again might have traumatized the younger girl again, much to the contrary. As much as Gabi felt relieved that Eren Jeager was given the death sentence earlier that day, and that he was very deserving of it after what he did to her home and her people, she wouldn't wish for any of that especially when by now she understood how important he was to Ms. Ackerman.

If their situations were reversed, well, as a matter of fact, it did - though not forgotten, Ms. Ackerman had long ago forgiven her cousin and his fellow Warriors for their attack on Paradis years before. If she was angry at the Attack Titan holder, it would've been the same for Ms. Ackerman towards Reiner and herself even. She was aware that Ms. Ackerman's presence on Liberio for the first time was purely for retrieval and that Eren Jeager's actions were his own decision as opposed to the approval of their Commander.

Gabi's brown eyes looked up towards the older woman who was standing next to her and even though she had only known Ms. Ackerman for several days, it pained the young Marleyan girl to see the hurt reflected there. Even in the dimly lit space, Gabi - a young soldier who was trained to have nothing but hatred towards the devils living on this island - has a strong sense that Ms. Ackerman was fighting very hard not to beat herself down once again. If she somehow had the power to reverse time or manipulate memories, Gabi was very affirmative that she would go back to the time in the restaurant and take the older woman away from all of the painful memories or even preventing the confrontation that caused the tremendous hurt.

Gabi heard the scratch of a match being lit from behind and she was the least surprised to observe that her older cousin was already making himself comfortable against the brick wall next to the entrance door, distancing himself out of respect and somewhat out of caution as he was wary that the last time he was caught off guard, Liberio ended up in ruins. The young girl's sharp vision did not miss the way her older cousin kept a fixated gaze at Eren Jeager as if anticipating another retaliation but remained even more vigil as he listened in to the conversation.

Or, was he looking at Ms. Ackerman? Gabi wondered curiously.

Hange's visible dark brown eye widened, so did everyone else's present. "Are you really, really sure? We can appeal to the Council if it's true. We need to gather solid evidence to back that appeal up."

Armin nodded, though not without an apparent doubt on his face. "We still have time to track down a proof that could amend the binding agreement, the parchment has not been officially signed and sealed by the representatives. There is room for negotiation if we can present a piece of compelling evidence."

Eren shook his head, expressing his lack of confidence that the new information could ever possibly change any of the outcomes. "They're expecting an execution when the morning comes. If it proves to be untrue, then I'll just die."

Eren…. Mikasa fought back the urge to call out for his name in sheer desperation, after hearing that there would be a possibility that the power of the Titans had been returned to the Founding's will.

What if they get someone to immediately shift to prove the truth, then maybe they can possibly stop the execution….. She turned her head back towards the man standing against the brick wall behind them. Her hopeful gaze attracted Reiner's attention as he stopped taking a drag from the burning cigarette stick the moment their eyes met from across the distance.

"Commander Hange!!!" The only entrance to the rooftop was thrown open unexpectedly, revealing a junior Survey Corps member, as he struggled to perform a salute while catching the breath that he lost. It was very obvious he was dispatched from the Survey Corps' new barracks in Trost.

Hange nodded and dismissed the greeting upon perceiving the urgent nature of the young soldier's arrival. "At ease, private. Someone, please give this soldier some water."

"Thank you, Commander Hange but this message can't wait. It's the prisoner from Marley. The Fem-Female Titan, she -- the crystal prison shattered and we didn't realize it when it happened but she was barely conscious when it did."

"WHAT? When did it happen?" Their Commander's jaw dropped in astonishment and both Reiner, as well as Armin, had the same shocked expression on their face. Eren remained calm though his widened eyes couldn't hide his surprise towards the news.

"What's her current status?"

The young dark-haired unnamed soldier looked regretful and somewhat worried. "She's still unconscious and slightly malnourished but there are no major external injuries. We couldn't report it earlier because of the conference and we were slightly short-handed with the relief process and unable to dispatch a messenger immediately."

The dark-haired military veteran turned her attention back towards their prisoner. "Eren, did you have something to do with this? Could it have had some significance to the Rumbling that happened?" She didn't need to hear his response to confirm that even he was unaware that it was possible for the Rumbling to have triggered Annie Leonhardt's release from her self-made crystal imprisonment. Meanwhile, Reiner stepped forward, evidently worried with the new development they have received in regard to his old comrade.

The fourteenth Commander of Paradis' prestigious military division sprung up into action as she called out towards her subordinates. "Others stay put. Armin, Jean, we shall make haste for the headquarters immediately--"

Reiner was about to make his concerns known before Hange addressed him formally. "-- and you too, Braun, if you may. A familiar place could be helpful to ease her confusion. We'll send word to Commander Magath of this update."

The tall blonde-haired young War Chief from Marley nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Commander."

"Reiner, what's happening?," asked Gabi, concerned with the new development regarding the fallen Marleyan shifter.

"I have to go, Gabi." He shook his head, eyes silently pleading to his bride. "Mikasa, can Gabi stay with you?"

The raven-haired Hizuru princess nodded with nothing less than understanding. "I got her. Go."

The ends of Reiner's lips curved upwards in relief and grateful smile as their eyes met again in mutual accord before they parted ways with him following his former Survey Corps superior and comrades before they disappeared behind the door.

"Mikasa….I am happy to know that Reiner has been treating you well despi--" said Eren the moment he turned his head back again at her. It was fairly obvious that he was waiting for the right moment to address the news of her recent wedding.

Mikasa cut his words off immediately. This was not a conversation she was willing to have in front of Reiner's young cousin. "Eren, don't. We didn't ask for this and talking about it is not going to change anything. At this point, we just have to make the best out of the arrangement. So, please, just don't…." Eren took heed of her insistence, thus, no more words were spoken for the remainder of the night, at least until she decided it was time for her to take Gabi, who had fallen asleep against a wall, back to their room for a more comfortable rest. Mikasa knew that she would have gone through another sleepless night when the sun rises in the next few hours.

XoXoX