A/N: I'm getting some ideas! Your feedback is helping me stay the course. Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 3 - Harry's Changing World - Part I
Harry was lying on his back in the Ministry, feeling the horrible, creepy violation at Voldemort's possession of his body and inner thoughts, trying desperately to summon imagery that would bring up the surge of love for his best friends and deceased parents. But nothing was working, and Voldemort was laughing at him, taunting him.
"I can do with you whatever I like, Harry," the vile, reptilian-faced dark wizard declared gleefully. "Such a shame your own relatives despise you so deeply. You must be quite awful…. yes, we knew this, didn't we? They never really cared about keeping you safe, did they?"
Bugger off! Harry tried to eject him the way he'd ejected Snape during their lessons, but his wand wasn't working. When he looked down at it, he saw that it was a muggle drinking straw, like the ones Aunt Petunia always put into the milkshakes she'd whip up in the blender for Dudley. This was not good…
"You are a fool, Harry…. and you will lose….everything."
Harry sat up, sucking in breath, his scar on fire. It had been a dream, but he just knew that the Dark Lord was way too smug and happy right now.
And where was his wand?
0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0
The two Slytherin wizards stood facing each other, Lucius holding Harry's rucksack, and acknowledging quite honestly that he had no business rummaging through it.
"I beg to differ," Severus said, he had no qualms whatsoever, seeing as how Potter had dipped into his fiercely guarded secrets, and then had apparently rushed off to discuss his findings with the wolf and bloody Sirius Black. "Albus will no doubt task me with watching over Potter while he's unable to be present at Hogwarts. I'll need to know what I'm up against." He held his hand out for the pack. Lucius passed it to him. Severus unzipped and fished through it, feeling the light, filmy fabric of the boy's invisibility cloak. The temptation to confiscate it was quite high, given the current goings on. He continued his commentary to Lucius with his arm in the bag, "I'll remind you that several Order members will now be required to be sequestered with the Dursleys in a safe home, which thins our resources all the more."
They'd so far received two missives from Dumbledore, in the form of enchanted scrolls, since the events of this afternoon. One informed them that the Dursleys had been removed from Privet Drive and that Potter was to be moved to Hogwarts immediately. The other confirmed that Minerva was recovered and ready to return to the school tomorrow, to take on the role of Headmistress, since Albus was officially in hiding, and still under suspicion of wanting to overthrow the Ministry. Severus and Lucius would have preferred to have had some face to face contact with Albus to discuss immediate concerns, such as what to do when next summoned by the Dark Lord? What was the story to be told about the fall of the wards, and Harry Potter's whereabouts?
Still rummaging around the sack, Severus next felt the boy's wand, and what was obviously a small bag of gold. There were some random papers but no books, of course. He fished out the stack of muggle forms that had been neatly gathered and folded in half. "Potter must have truly been exhausted," Severus muttered as he opened the sheaf of papers, "all of his most prized possessions are in this bag."
Lucius took a seat on the sofa which Harry had sat on earlier. "Anything?" he asked as he watched Severus review the contents of the forms. His stomach growled unpleasantly. It was half seven in the evening already, and he was quite ready for supper. "Do you suppose that god forsaken elf of Black's could rouse up a decent tea for us?" He watched Severus' complexion change from its normally pasty pale to somewhere between a ripe tomato and a dark red brick. "Oh, Lord."
"That little-"
"Accio!" Harry Potter stood, pajama-clad and rumple-haired in the doorway, hand outstretched and casting ...wandlessly? to retrieve his pack and papers from Severus. The pack went flying right to him, but the papers became unbundled, flying in total disarray and hitting the enraged teen square in the face, scattering onto the hall floor behind him. "You've no bloody-"
"-Right to look at your private things?" Severus interrupted in a dangerously cold tone. "Do tell me how that works, Potter? You get to invade someone's privacy, but I do not?"
Potter stood heaving, battling himself. He was apparently oblivious that he'd sustained a paper cut on his face. It was beginning to leak blood in a diagonal slash across his left cheek, drawing attention to the deep, dark circles beneath his eyes which were not obscured by his glasses. Had those circles been there earlier? Severus took a good look at the Boy Wonder. He'd possibly dropped a full stone in the last two weeks, and his scar is quite inflamed. He reminded himself of his previous conclusions following the events leading to Black's demise. The boy's struggles were far more complicated than he'd previously been willing to concede.
Harry glared at Snape, trying to reconcile the fact that the older wizard looked far closer to normal with his two-day beard growth and shorter, clean hair. He also tried to read what was behind the potion master's disgust… what had he seen? He felt like Snape would be tempted to use violence on him if he'd read about the emancipation, so Harry mentally crossed his fingers that Snape remained ignorant of that detail and said flatly, "I'm sorry I looked in your memories." Then he turned and began to gather the papers, quickly put the petition forms below the others in his stack, and attempt to organize them as he'd previously stowed them. He could hear Malfoy speaking quietly to Snape while they watched Harry's labored movements.
"Dare I ask what has you so incensed, Severus?"
Potter turned to look at Severus again. "How much did you see?"
"Sit down, Potter," Severus said coldly. "I have many, many questions." He attempted to reel in his temper, knowing he would get nothing out of the brat if he was antagonistic. Potter was clearly inclined to pursue independence from his current circle of mentors, which could only lead to more of the same type of mayhem they'd just experienced at the Ministry of Magic. The wretched teen had snatched away the fictitious letters, but Severus had seen enough to know the boy was applying for something in the muggle world. Does he think he'll be allowed to leave the wizarding world altogether?
"I'm going back to bed," Harry said. "I'm not at all rested, just came down for this."
Lucius stood and gestured for the sofa, to the spot Harry had sat upon earlier. "A few minutes of your time, Harry, if you please?" Now Potter contemplated Lucius in much the same way he'd done Severus. He must have registered that Lucius had spoken without his typical condescending inflections. "If you please?" Lucius repeated. When the boy hesitated, he added, "Severus, perhaps you could summon a potion or two for Harry? He indeed looks quite exhausted."
Potter sighed and came into the room, retaking his seat from earlier. He looked warily at Severus, as the potions master used his wand to summon several vials of draughts. He stepped over and passed the Pepper-Up first. The boy downed it without a word and accepted the next one without asking what it was. He probably recognizes the Calming Draught. "This is a magic replenishing potion," Severus told Potter of the third. When the boy looked up at him questioningly, he asked, "I assume the wandless casting you just did is a newly acquired skill?" Potter clenched his jaw and nodded, jiggling his leg but staying mute. "Then you've obviously been practicing, and possibly have drained your magic. Your exhaustion seems deeper now than it had been earlier this afternoon. That's a symptom of magical exhaustion."
"Er, alright." Potter mumbled. "Thanks."
Severus narrowed his eyes. "When I was perusing through your private papers, I noticed a letter of merit that I'd apparently written about a wonderful student of mine, one who is exemplary on every level, and oh, just. so. gifted…" Lucius raised a confused eyebrow, looking from Severus to Potter, as Severus continued, "My favorite student. A boy named Harry Potter."
Lucius snorted derisively, but now raised both eyebrows when Severus gave him a look. "Oh, pray tell, what is it that I think of this Harry Potter?"
Harry stood up, noting that the potions had indeed helped. But he'd suddenly remembered that he didn't have to let Snape interrogate him. In the meantime, if Snape had an issue with him, and since this was outside of school, he could take it up with Aunt Petunia. Let him dare. Harry smirked at the idea, again vaguely remembering that Snape and Petunia seemed to know each other.
"Potter, you will explain the purpose behind those phony letters of recommendation!" Snape barked at him. "They have Miss Granger's assistance written all over them."
"None of your bloody business," Harry said, far more calmly than he ought to be able to do, thanks again to the potions. He looked Snape in the eye and felt zero fear when he registered the older wizard's ire at the way Harry had just spoken to him. And then, for some reason, the fact that these two snots had seen the letters he and Hermione had labored over, while in the most ironic state of mind, actually seemed comical. It's not funny, don't you dare, he warned himself, you still have the rest of the school year to get through with potions. But the humor won out and he started laughing. Hard. He didn't look at the two adult wizards, assuming they were gobsmacked at his audacity as it was. After a few moments he had his arms around his abdomen bracing against the ache of unused laughter muscles as he continued to crack up.
"Potter!" Severus barked again. The brat's laughter was having a tiny effect on his anger. He'd never before seen Harry Potter in such a state. He took some calming breaths and while he was at it, slugged back a Calming Draught as well, and took a seat on the other sofa so that he was sitting opposite Potter's spot. "Please take a seat," he said stonily. He watched the boy mop his mirth-dampened cheeks and finally register that his face was cut. And now it was smeared with tears and blood. Severus scowled, conjured a damp cloth and levitated it to Potter who was conceding enough cooperation to sit back down. He watched the boy gingerly wipe his face, studying the light blood stains. "I will heal that for you, if you wish, after our conversation."
The floo network roared to life and Lupin's head appeared in the flames of the fireplace. "Oh good, Harry, you're awake. I just visited the kitchens here at school and there's quite a lovely assortment of dishes set out for us, if the lot of you are ready to return to Hogwarts for supper?"
Harry opened his mouth to repeat his earlier declaration, but Snape held up his hand, saying in a moderate tone, "We ask you to hear our proposal for you, Potter. Much has taken place in the last two weeks. We know you're not inclined to subject yourself to our authority, after the shite you've been experiencing," When Potter did a double take at Severus, but remained in shocked silence, he knew he had regained the upper hand. "After today's revelations, it is clear that change is mandatory. We," Severus gestured to himself, Lucius, and the floating head of Lupin in the flames, "the three of us, have already been focusing on the fact that you need a different sort of help than you've received. We'd started laying out some plans to assist you when you return to school. With today's occurrences, your desire to have time to yourself is completely understandable, and you should indeed rest after the injuries you've experienced, and for the sake of those not yet healed. I would simply ask you to consider coming to Hogwarts tonight, rather than on Sunday. You could stay in your dorm, and rest all that you wish. Your doing so will spare the lot of us the additional task of watching out for you when on the train, where you will be exposing yourself, and by extension your friends, to danger. As Lupin commented earlier, the Order is already spread very thin. Understand?"
Harry was blinking rapidly, with so many conflicting emotions swarming through him that were equal parts indifference to these efforts that he'd needed ages ago, and being utterly touched and surprised to know some of the people who had power over him had finally pulled their heads out of their-
"Understand, Potter?" Snape asked again.
"I really wasn't expecting to hear this," Harry revealed in all honesty. He was outright startled to hear that Snape and Lupin were working together on anything, let alone something on his behalf. And this version of Snape, still dressed as a muggle, although he'd removed the jacket at some point, was now facing Harry in a dark gray jumper with an unzippered neck that revealed a black t-shirt beneath it, looking…. sort of cool, actually, and speaking reasonably. Harry shook his head and thought a moment longer, waiting for instincts to tell him what to do. He also flashed a frown towards the blond wizard beside him, who'd managed to not be too much of a ponce for a little while now. It wasn't yet clear what kind of role the Senior Malfoy was playing in this effort, but he was definitely participating…. "Alright, I'll go back now." He'd left his dirty clothes and the fresh set Dobby had brought him upstairs, but decided to leave them. Just in case I need to come back here, one day in the future.
"Good lad," Malfoy Senior praised. He ignored the unimpressed look that the Potter boy flashed him. They'd at least achieved this goal.
"Lucius, why don't you floo over first," Severus suggested, realizing that Potter's injured collarbone could get jolted by the magical transport. He'd seen Potter emerge from a floo in the past. It was not a graceful sight.
Malfoy didn't need to be told twice, and quickly dropped some powder into the fire while calling out, "Albus Dumbledore's Office at Hogwart's."
As Malfoy spun away, Snape did that thing where he spun a dramatic half turn so that he faced Harry directly. Harry hated when he did this, because it always preceded some form of condescending dressing down, and he was out of steam for verbal sparring. But Snape just stared at him for a long moment.
"We should floo over together, so that I can stabilize you as we travel," Snape finally said.
If Harry had been drinking something he would have been induced to spit it out. "I'll take my-"
"Come," Severus cut him off, half turning toward the fireplace, but holding up an arm as if Potter should move close enough to be wrapped within it. He watched the blood drain from the boy's face and rolled his eyes. "I won't hurt you, idiot boy. I'm going to attempt to prevent further injury to your person. Come."
Harry hated traveling by floo. He was terrible at it, and knew that Snape had a point. I should ask Lupin to come help me…
"Come, Potter," Snape said again, obviously being very careful with his tone. "Do you think I'd hurt you, when your father's best friend waits at the other end to have dinner with you?"
Just do it, Harry pushed himself. He walked slowly over to the potions master, and allowed himself to be pulled against Snape's left side. Snape draped his arm down Harry's back, and his hand cupped around Harry's left side, safely applying no pressure to Harry's collarbone. They stepped into the floo and zipped away quickly. And yes, when they stepped through to Dumbledore's office, Harry was indeed unscathed. Snape dropped his arm as soon as they'd stilled, and Lupin greeted Harry with a quick evanesco to remove the little bit of soot on his pajamas and the trainers he'd donned to keep his feet warm when he'd ventured downstairs.
"Thanks," Harry said to Lupin. He flashed a look at Snape and Malfoy before addressing his next comment to Lupin again, "I'm thinking I'd rather have my dinner in my dorm, then go back to bed."
Lupin nodded, but looked a tad disappointed. "You do look like you need rest," he agreed. "I'll ask the elves to bring you a tray, shall I?"
"Please," Harry said. "You look like you need rest too, sir," he added as he started for the door.
"Wait, Harry," Lupin said. "You can floo to your Common Room from right here, you realize?"
"Oh," Harry said. He sighed, knowing he'd be better off with making a short, quick trip…. his eyes jumped to Snape's without his permission, and he caught Snape smirking in genuine amusement, which was just too bloody odd. Ponce. Well, which is it, Harry? Your pride and a long walk to Gryffindor? Or humiliating yourself by asking Lupin's help when he's as bad off as you? Or, even worse, stepping back under Snape's arm (which he was currently raising while he quirked one eyebrow in an offer of assistance)? Bugger.
0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0
Twenty minutes later, Harry was sitting in silence in the squashy chair closest to the fire in his Common Room, waiting for his dinner tray.
He'd sacrificed his pride and simply let Snape help him a second time. Lupin and Malfoy had both called out, "Good night, Harry," as Harry had spun out of view within another one-armed embrace from Snape.
Snape had stepped out of the fireplace and further into the room, spinning again to face Harry in the zippy way of his. "How is your collarbone? Is it causing you pain?"
Harry had shaken his head, "Not if I'm careful."
"And your scar?" Snape had asked next. He'd palmed his wand and had been raising it, stepping closer to Harry.
Alarmed, Harry had jumped backward, and yes, that had caused a slight twinge to his injury. He'd glared at Snape. But his professor had stilled and had held both hands and his wand up as if waiting for Harry to settle.
"That cut on your cheek is somewhat inflamed," he'd added, not acknowledging Harry's startled reaction. "Shall I heal it?"
"Oh," Harry had said dumbly. He'd already forgotten about that. "Er… alright."
Harry had stood still and allowed his professor to take his chin so that he could tilt Harry's face slightly while pressing his wand gently against the minor wound. "And your scar? It's quite inflamed," Snape had next inquired.
"It's been hurting," Harry had admitted. He'd then shot a look at Snape and growled defensively, "I didn't have a vision, just a bad dream. But my scar hurts a lot."
"I see," Snape had returned. "When you dose with pain reliever, does it help your scar?" He had conjured another vial as he'd asked the question.
"Oh," Harry had said again. "It might, actually." He'd accepted the vial with a quiet, "Thanks."
"If you will sit, I will assess your collarbone again," Snape had said next. He'd waited while Harry had again wrestled with himself.
Am I letting him help me too much? Harry had wondered. He'd quickly dismissed the idea that Snape could claim Harry owed him anything for this help.
"I recognize your efforts to cooperate this evening, Potter, and I… applaud this. I realize I've played my role in your misery." He had again waved his wand over Harry's head and had silently studied what was revealed just out of Harry's view.
Harry had again waited for his instincts to tell him how to respond, but nothing had come to mind, so he'd said nothing. This was all new territory. What could he say, really? He certainly didn't forgive Snape. He could concede that trying to teach Harry to Occlude had been worthless, but Snape could have done so without being such a bastard about it. The whole "Remedial Potions" reference had given the Slytherins so much ammunition for taunting him.
Frustrated anger had surged upward just at that thought alone. No, Harry was not forgetting, or forgiving that. No way.
"This spell reveals that you should take a small measure of Skelegro, and that the hairline fracture should heal within an hour or two. Would you like that as well, or to wait for Madam Pomfrey to dose you?"
What is happening? Harry had wondered. "Um, yeah, I guess I could go ahead and take that too."
Snape had nodded. "I will measure it and send it with your dinner tray. I recommend taking it immediately following your meal and heading off to bed as soon as you can manage. It works best during sleep."
"Right," Harry had said. "Er, thanks, sir."
Snape had inclined his head to acknowledge Harry. "You are welcome. I will take my leave, but I would reiterate the wisdom of bringing you here tonight, rather than chancing public exposure at King's Crossing. This is the better option."
Harry had nodded, and hadn't bothered to tell Snape he'd never intended to take the Hogwart's Express back to school. He'd actually planned to ask Dobby to apparate him over. Now he could keep his access to Dobby more of a secret. Not to mention he was pretty certain that someone in the Order would have been assigned to stay with him until it was time to return to Hogwarts, anyway. This way, Harry at least wasn't putting anyone out unnecessarily. Of course, I didn't ask for their help. But people like Tonks and Lupin, and even Moody and Mr. Weasley had already made a lot of effort for him, and he felt guilty at his lack of gratitude. Not to mention the horrors of that battle he'd dragged them into.
0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0ooo0
A tray on a folding stand popped into view within arm's reach of Harry's chair. He assessed the dinner offering, as his stomach growled loudly. Steak and kidney pie, green salad, pumpkin juice and a large serving of sticky toffee pudding awaited him, and the promised dose of Skelegro. He felt taken care of, and it felt very odd. A nagging voice in his mind told him to guard against being held accountable, as if these were favors with strings attached. Somehow, he just knew they were.
Harry also knew there was a lot of danger, and a lot of scary times ahead. He knew he had to kill the Dark Lord, or die trying. He also knew that he couldn't do it without help, as he'd usually had in some shape or form along the way. The Order was the only organized group willing to take on Voldemort, besides Harry. Every Order member was choosing to put his or her own safety at risk by joining and participating. What had Sirius said to the twins, last term, when they'd argued about seeing their dad at St. Mungo's, regardless of the risk to the Order's secrets? He'd told them the credo of the original Order of the Phoenix: some things are worth dying for. Harry knew this was true, but no one should die for stupid reasons, like Harry's unwillingness to cooperate with a team effort. He'd already realized he ultimately had two choices: to cooperate with the Order, or to just leave Wizarding Britain altogether. Neither choice felt like the right one just now.
He had a lot to sort out.
"Goodnight, sir," Harry had said to Snape a little while ago, without really thinking about how gracious it sounded. He wanted to be his best self from now on. That included being fair, and polite, and completely genuine. But it also included standing his ground always, and removing himself from situations where he was being abused. The bottom line was, if anyone messed with him in future, he'd summon Dobby and have the elf apparate him elsewhere. It seemed like a solid backup plan, as far as Harry was concerned.
