A/N: I'm getting some ideas! Your feedback is helping me stay the course. Thanks so much for your reviews! As for what's ahead in ch 4, sometimes people warn about character bashing ahead, but I don't see it that way, as each character is acting from his or her perception of the stakes, in the current moment. Enjoy!
Chapter 4 - Harry's Changing World - Part II
The three wizards sat at a large table in the far back corner of the bustling kitchen facilities of Hogwarts, feasting with intense focus. Each had exerted himself magically to quite an extent that day, and their collective hunger was like a force of nature. Fortunately, the elves had acknowledged and responded to in kind. The smells were heavenly from their resulting efforts, which had moved on from food prep to desserts. No less than a dozen house elves were actively cooking mass quantities of the students' favorite dishes to be served with upcoming meals. They'd parceled out a generous quantity for their dinner guests.
A quarter of an hour passed in silence, save for sounds of chewing in between the clangs of cutlery on stoneware. Lucius refilled each of their glasses as they slowed down to finish their meal at a more measured pace. He had summoned a bottle of elfin wine and some crystal stemware for them to use, rightly assuming that none was on hand at the school.
"I received another missive from Albus while you two were still at Headquarters," Remus informed the others. "There is much in motion, and Albus is playing puppeteer with gusto. He revealed only that he had been busy with reconfiguring Privet Drive to appear to still be inhabited by all three Dursleys. I inferred that he'll soon be reaching out to you, Lucius, to make certain he is informed of what the Ministry knows. He was adamant that we not let Harry out of our sight. He apparently has had an interview of sorts with the Dursleys, so I assume he has likely Legilimized them to glean the facts about Harry's recent experiences with them." He paused to take a sip of the wine while he made eye contact with Severus and Lucius both, "I agreed to his directive to bring Harry here, without relaying anything that I'd witnessed today. He was in quite an agitated state."
"I'm quite certain he was," Severus drawled. "Like we've all said, Albus is indeed trying to save Wizarding Britain, but he cannot do it alone, and his methods of maintaining control of the roles we each are playing are proving to be less and less effective."
Remus rubbed at his temples. "I believe I will take a page from Harry's book and refuse to make any more efforts to recruit werewolves. I know in my gut that it's a futile effort, and it also puts me at great risk when my strengths would be better put to use elsewhere. What Severus and I accomplished today seems far more of a boon than bringing on more unpredictable predators, who are far more likely to be drawn to-… Tom Riddle, than to fight on behalf of a society that shuns them."
"I concur," Lucius added. "I see far more benefit to visiting the muggle households of muggle-born students and young adult wizards, and offering to ward their homes. It sets a precedence for them to trust us, as well as a far more effective preventive measure to have protections already in place, should things get out of hand as badly as they did fifteen years ago."
This congregation of camaraderie could be credited to Lucius Malfoy. Lucius had recapped the revelations of Harry Potter's prophecy to Remus and Severus the Friday night after the debacle at the Ministry. He'd booked a suite in the Savoy Hotel in muggle London and had sent his Patronus to each of them with an invitation for an open discussion, with all topics on the table to be hashed out. It was then that Lucius had proposed to the others that they work together to attempt to mitigate the newfound danger this news posed to Harry Potter. Now that Voldemort had confirmation that Harry would somehow one day be powerful enough to take him out, the three of them had concurred that the Dark Lord would be hell bent on ending the boy as soon as possible. None of them could fathom why in the world Albus seemed inclined to continue to operate as if they had all the time in the world to let the Potter boy grow into adulthood, to find that power the prophecy indicated he had.
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Severus received his call from Voldemort as he was heading back to the dungeons. "Dammit!" He slapped his hand over his dark mark, as if the pressure he applied would have any effect on the burning pain. He's in quite a state, Severus worried, then started his internal process of shutting down his emotions and pulling his inner self into the present moment so that he could withstand the mental inspection he'd be receiving shortly. He inwardly applauded himself for having already rushed to his pensieve to remove the recent memories of these newest encounters with Potter and the time spent with Lucius and Lupin at Headquarters.
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Harry sat up in bed in a cold sweat, trying not to vomit from the intense pain in his scar. He'd just watched an entire confrontation with his potions professor through Voldemort's eyes. He'd casted the cruciatus curse and he'd varied the intensity of it by increasing and reducing his magic through Voldemort's wand. Harry had been extremely careful to keep his mind free of his own thoughts as he'd watched Snape contort on the floor in agony, finally bellowing from the horrible pain in his deep baritone.
But now that it was over, Harry was struggling to handle what he'd just seen, and seemingly done.
Harry pressed his scar and panted, trying to pull himself inward again. Find your palms. He put his open hands on the sheets in front of him and focused his attention on the surface of his skin. The pain dragged him back to his scar, but he kept trying until he'd locked in on them. Then he focused on the soles of his feet at the same time, picturing himself standing with his legs apart and arms spread wide, forming a circle and then a sphere of light around himself, like a zone of protection. Soon he was feeling calm, and noticing only the beating of his own heart.
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"Harry? I'm surprised to see you awake my boy, it's quite late," Albus Dumbledore said from beside Harry's bed.
Harry opened shocked eyes to see the elderly wizard staring intently at him. A rush of confused anger and disappointment hit Harry as all of his unresolved conflicts with his mentor surfaced at once. "I wouldn't think it's a good idea for you to be here, sir," he said with a cold warning. "He comes and goes as he pleases."
"I can tell that you are yourself just now, Harry," Albus said with a kind twinkle in his eyes. He conjured a cushioned stool and sat close to the side of Harry's bed so that they were on the same eye level. "I saw for myself that your relatives treated you abominably for the last two weeks, Harry, and I am extremely upset on your behalf, quite full of genuine regret that it never occurred to me that your aunt would behave so awfully, let alone allow her husband and son to mistreat you."
"I didn't see Dudley at all this round," Harry said, deflecting intentionally. No way was he going to have this conversation with Dumbledore. His heart began to race. Bloody hell, how much did he see? he's probably found out about the petition! Harry looked down and kept his eyes downward, at a loss now as to how to deal with this possibility. His anger changed to panic in the split of a second. The idea that his hard work and suffering to get that petition filed could all have fallen apart made him want to weep in despair. Palms and soles, he guided himself. It worked enough to turn that despair back into anger.
"I've let you down, Harry, you don't have to look at me for me to know this," Dumbledore was saying softly, giving nothing away, "and I'm deeply sorry." To Harry's ears he sounded genuine, and maybe he truly was, but this only scratched the surface of Harry's suffering and loss of trust for him. When Harry still refused to meet his eyes, the former Headmaster attempted to appease the resentment he sensed being directed his way. "You've sought me out numerous times, and I've not availed myself to help you. I know that you now know why. Do you understand why I couldn't engage with you at all?"
"Yes," Harry said reluctantly. "I might have seen everything, and let Voldemort see it too."
"I'm sorry Harry. It seemed like it was the best tactic."
"Why couldn't you have just told me that?" Harry blurted out, annoyed with how much hurt he'd let come into his voice. "You could have told me that you were afraid I was like a speakerbox, blaring things out into the dark side." Now he let his resentment fuel him into a full on rant, "Except that I didn't know a damned thing, did I? You'd kept me in the dark all this time! Instead I got to get lessons from Snape, and get humiliated, and have the insides of my head beaten up, for bloody nothing!" He stopped himself, watching to see what the Headmaster would do. But Dumbledore just stared back at him with an expression of regret, which really did seem genuine.
Harry didn't want to later feel like he'd been a bastard, but he had way too much on his mind to stop now. "I understand that according to the prophecy, I have to kill Voldemort, or die," Harry said, ire rising again, and his throat closing with the intensity of the emotion. "It's like he said, I'm a fool, and I will lose everything. Have I lost everything yet, sir? By my calculations, I've lost a hell of a lot! Even my Hogwarts experience has had to be entirely about him, always because he's interfering, his minions are interfering, or you're interfering! With my life! This year has been the absolute worst yet! I'm done doing things your way! You're not in charge of the school any longer, so unless you utterly violate every magical law about interfering in a minor wizard's affairs, you have no say in what I do!" He was seething and panting, and silent because he'd said all he intended to say. He waited a long beat, and was surprised when the elderly wizard didn't take his leave. He waited again, and looked off to the side but could see peripherally Dumbledore was still regarding him. Bugger! "I really want you to go, sir. You shouldn't be here." He said it quietly and without malice, but his panting was turning into shaking. "I'm not entirely certain Voldemort's left me alone for the night."
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Tearing off the wretched Death Eater robes he'd hastily donned to hide his muggle ensemble as he went, Severus stumbled along the lower corridors of the castle, heading to his quarters and wanting only to end this wretched day in total collapse and deep sleep. But as always happened after such a shockingly violent experience, and this had been a routine visit, for Merlin's sake, Severus was struggling to sort his emotions. Normally, he'd suppress them or sequester them into a corner of his mind, but the encounters with Harry Potter had triggered an urge to manage his stress more carefully. He couldn't recall the events that he'd stored in the pensieve, only that he'd finally recognized the deep trauma the boy consistently experienced as a mirror of Severus' own doses of Voldemort's evil, which had been coming more and more regularly since his resurrection. Stopping in his tracks, Severus moved to lean his back against the stone wall and slide downward until he was seated and staring glumly at the opposite wall of stone.
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An hour after Dumbledore's departure, which had happened right after Harry had requested as much, Harry was still awake, and his agitation was tormenting him. He'd keep going into his calm place and be fine, and start to doze, but bad dreams would kick in immediately, and he'd shoot up, wide awake and sucking in air again. At least these dreams were nonsensical and not courtesy of Voldemort.
He'd resorted to studying the Mauraders' Map, and had watched Snape return from his visit to Voldemort a while ago. The bat of the dungeons had stopped for a long time in one of the corridors near his quarters. Wonder what he's doing? Harry had noted that Malfoy Senior had left the premises, and he'd been watching Remus Lupin pace around his quarters for the entire time. Lupin had finally left and started heading towards Gryffindor. Harry checked his watch. It was one o'clock in the morning. Snape was also moving again, heading to his own quarters. Lupin's coming to check on me, I guess. Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that. He felt huge guilt over his role in Sirius' demise. He'd taken Remus Lupin's last school friend from him, and therefore had to have lost a lot of the older wizard's confidence.
A tap on the door a few minutes later announced Lupin's arrival. "Alright, Harry?" he asked softly, stepping into Harry's view, head tilted, expression kind and congenial as always. "I didn't really expect to find you awake, but wanted to be sure you were feeling better. I know Severus gave you some Skelegro." He fully entered the dorm, stopping a few feet from Harry's bed and looking him over.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Harry said softly. He searched Lupin's face anxiously, wanting to be able to read the older wizard's feelings toward him now, both after the Ministry, and since he'd declared he wouldn't be told what to do by any of them. But Lupin didn't emanate anything but his mild manner as he conjured a stool, not unlike Dumbledore's, and sat at a bit more of a distance from Harry than the Headmaster had. "Sir, I-" Harry's throat tightened. He tried again. "I'm-"
"Harry," Lupin interrupted. His eyes reddened quickly but he otherwise kept his composure. "Sirius made his own choices. You are not to blame, alright?" When Harry only stared back at him with a clenched jaw, and pained expression, Lupin added, "No, Harry, the blame falls on the adults who have been far too slow to act on your behalf."
This surprised Harry. There was so much he wanted to say out loud about Sirius, and the loss he was feeling for a father figure he'd only gotten to spend a handful of days with in his memory. He hoped one day he could talk to Lupin about it, but he was too afraid of the intensity of his grief just now. If I start in, I'll cry, and I maybe won't ever stop.
"On a positive note, I've every intention of working, one-on-one with you, as much as we can manage," Lupin informed him.
"Really?" Harry asked skeptically.
"Absolutely," Lupin said. "And Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoy will as well, if you can get to a place where you trust them from the other side of their wands." When Harry's expression turned to disdain, Lupin chuckled, "Yes, yes, I know, neither has done much to merit such a trust from you. But Harry, they are each quite gifted wizards. I've learned quite a bit from them both in just a short time."
"Sir, how did that come about? Really?" Harry asked him. This was good. It was keeping Harry from losing his mind with worry about needing to talk to his aunt to see if she'd revealed anything to Dumbledore.
Lupin told Harry about the odd summons he'd received two weeks prior, asking him to go to muggle London. He'd been in a state of shock and defeat, and rather than drink himself into a stupor in Sirius' house, Lupin had decided to throw caution to the wind and show up for the clandestine meeting. Turns out Malfoy had invited Snape with just as much mystery, and each of them had been extremely reserved about sharing his thoughts, until Malfoy had admitted that he was genuinely frightened for Harry's safety. That had unleashed each of their tirades, and they'd realized that they had far more in common than not, and the most solid agreement that they had was that Albus Dumbledore could not possibly handle all that was at stake, completely on his own. "I personally am simply frustrated that he won't share more of what he knows," Lupin told Harry. "But I don't doubt for a moment that he's devoted these last twenty odd years of his life to be ready to face off with Voldemort when the time comes. Well, the three of us think that time will come much sooner than Albus seems to believe. I personally would prefer, as would Severus and Lucius, and, I suspect, many in the Order, that you are well trained and surrounded by adults that you know you can trust."
"I trust you, Professor," Harry said. "Until I think you'll yield to Dumbledore's authority at my expense, that is." He held his breath to see how Lupin would handle this.
"You can call me Remus when it's just us, Harry," Lupin said. He took a deep breath and answered Harry carefully. "I don't blame you at all for losing faith in Dumbledore. I will say, I think he has very good reasons for excluding the lot of us from what he knows. But now that we, and especially you, have suffered such extraordinary trauma, it feels as though the flaws in his management style are being revealed. It's time for him to loop us in and share the burden. And until he does, we will not sit idle. And I don't see myself yielding to him until I've regained my confidence in him. I would never betray you to him, unless I knew you also trusted his judgement again. Alright?"
"Yeah," Harry said, nodding. "That will help a lot."
"I hope so."
"Remus," Harry said, deeply appreciating the familiarity his professor had just allowed him, "I just told Dumbledore off. He was here a while ago."
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Harry slept fitfully until about half seven the following morning. He'd battled his panic the whole time, and finally had formulated a plan so that his mind could shut down and let him rest for a few hours. The plan was either brilliant, or destined for calamity. So, yeah, a normal day for Harry Potter.
"Kreacher," Harry called firmly. "Kreacher, come!"
POP! The whirling snarl of old, bitter elf spiraled into the room. "Master has requested my presence," it was said as a statement, rather than an inquiry as to what Harry might need. "Master has violated me by making me enter the filth of the House of Blood Traitors…"
Harry's thin grip on his patience got even thinner at this declaration, but once again, he thought of Hermione's sympathetic efforts on behalf of all house elves, and made sure his tone remained firm, not hostile or mean. It was good practice for how he'd be dealing with every confrontation he would likely endure in the coming days. "Kreacher, please take me to Headquarters, just like before."
A violently turbulent moment later, Harry was standing in the parlor at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. "Thank you, Kreacher," Harry said over the rising bile trying to eject through his throat.
He took some calming breaths and steeled himself for his next outrageous move. He stepped into the fireplace and dropped some floo powder. "The Burrow!"
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"Harry!" Molly Weasley yelped when she saw him spinning out in a crumbled heap onto the middle of her kitchen floor. "What on earth?"
"I need to see my Aunt Petunia!" Harry said quickly, scrambling to his feet as Mrs. Weasley came straight for him. She hugged him first; a nice, long hug that made him feel a little bit better. But then she pushed him back far enough so that she still had his shoulders and could see his face. "Please!" Harry tried to deflect whatever rant she was working herself up to. "Just for a minute! I can't put this in a letter! Please? Do you or Mr. Weasley know where the safe house is?"
Molly let him go and waved her wand to silently clean his clothes and face from the soot of floo travel as she struggled to find her voice. Unfortunately, she was in full, shrill, maternal over-protective mode. "How dare you venture out on your own like this, Harry? What could you possibly need to say to your aunt at this point, now that you've up and left that awful house? I know it was terrible there, dear, I know it was, and I'm not judging you for wanting to leave-"
"But that's exactly what you're doing, isn't it?" Harry said in disappointment. This was a bad idea. "Look, you and Mr. Weasley are the only ones I feel like I can turn to for this little bit of help. I just need to tell her something in private. It's extremely important."
"Harry!" Mr. Weasley said from the kitchen doorway. He was dressed for work, in spite of it being Saturday. Ron stood behind him, still in pajamas and giving Harry a wide-eyed questioning look before his father blocked him from Harry's view. "How are you? What are you doing here?" Mr. Weasley was asking, his face kind, but his voice a tad stern.
This was a very bad idea, Harry lamented inwardly. To the Weasley patriarch, he asked, "Sir, do you know where my relatives are being kept? Could you possibly tell me where they are in confidence? As in, don't tell Dumbledore that I wanted to know?"
"I honestly do not know, Harry." Arthur Weasley said, now very concerned with Harry's recklessness. "And why would you want to keep any of this from Albus?"
"I can answer that," Ron said, coming into the kitchen in his bare feet and too short pajamas. He turned quite red as his parents gave him their attention. "Dumbledore is playing at something, and he's left Harry hung out to dry. He knows things, but he won't tell Harry anything. Harry has to deal with a madman coming into his head anytime he likes! He has had to put up with Snape harassing him, and with Slytherins bullying him, and Umbridge forcing him to write lines in his own blood. There's been no one to make them back off. Dumbledore has turned his back on Harry. If Harry doesn't want Dumbledore to know he's talked to his aunt, then you should honor that!"
Molly Weasley looked like she was ready to tell Ron off, but she stopped herself. She looked over at Harry, taking in his thin appearance, and knowing, as she'd known all along, that he'd suffered at that house. Why in the world would she not keep his confidence? She sighed, approaching Harry slowly and pulling him close again. "We don't know where the safe house is. But we will tell you as soon as we can find out. And we will not reveal to Albus that we saw you this morning, dear. Alright?"
Harry hugged her hard. "Thank you, and it's alright about not knowing," he said, but he was very discouraged. "Just drop it for now. Please don't worry about me. I'm staying safe, and I'm going straight back to Hogwarts." He flashed Ron a grateful look and stepped into the floo without hesitating, effectively preventing them from telling him off for being on his own, and hoping the ride back to Headquarters would not be as rough.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Chapter 5 is nearly done too. Stay tuned -
