Last chapters coming out plot went down really well so I thought I'd extend on that in this chapter. Drop a comment if you like the addition :)
Chapter 18
He'd sent the text to Loki letting him know that he was on his way, now he was speeding out of his driveway ready for an evening where everything could go really well or everything could be a disaster. He preferred thinking about the former for obvious reasons.
Though the place he was heading to wasn't near the centre of the town, it still didn't take him long to get there. Uncharacteristically, the roads were rather quiet. Still, that meant he could get to Loki quicker which was definitely a bonus. He had been told by Loki himself to dress fairly smartly and that also meant that his boyfriend – wow he would never get tired of saying that – would be dressed up nicely as well. He couldn't wait.
Pulling into a parking space, noting that there weren't many empty spots in the fairly large car park, he got out and noticed a figure standing to the side of the double doors. Light streamed through them but the figure stood in the shadow they cast. It would have been a daunting image if the figure hadn't shifted into the yellow light as he approached.
There Loki stood in all his fully clothed glory a small smile playing on his pink lips. Tony absently wondered about how amazing his naked glory would be. Very inappropriate thoughts when you're about to formally meet and attempt to impress said boyfriend's parents. He wore a form-fitting Prussian blue shirt, two buttons left undone at the top, black skinny jeans and newly polished shoes. His hair was slicked back, held firmly in place by an apparently magical hair product, as no strands were out of place.
"You look gorgeous," Tony nodded, running his gaze up and down his body again.
"Thankyou," Loki murmured, his cheeks tinged pink, though, because of the poor lighting, Tony could not see. He did, however, notice Loki's suddenly shy look and guessed at what his words had caused.
The raven haired man drew him in for a quick kiss. It was short but the feeling lingered. It felt amazing. They remained close for a second before Loki, remembering himself and drew back.
"We probably shouldn't do too much of that this evening," Loki said regretfully. "Though it would make this entire evening more fun, I really don't want to cause any of my family member's to have heart attacks."
Tony sighed, taking his own step back. "Yeah I suppose, though I'm sure your dad's face would be priceless."
"Most definitely," Loki agreed.
Silence grew between them. It wasn't necessarily awkward but there was an underlying level of tension. Loki was pretty sure he hadn't caused it. Then he noticed Tony's expression, which was a mixture of joy and panic. That was an odd combination if ever he saw one. Taking his hand, Loki guided him away from the bright light of the main doors to a bench that lay half in shadow. They both took a seat, fingers remaining entwined.
"I came out to Rhodey yesterday," Tony said. He stared down at their hands, shifting the grip and running his fingertips over Loki's palm. The other man shivered at the touch.
"How did it go?" Loki asked, genuinely curious as he knew from experience that it didn't always go well.
"It went good, I mean he was cool with it. He said that it was my life and my choice and that as long as I'm happy then it doesn't matter to him what I do."
"That's really great," Loki smiled, squeezing Tony's hand, noticing that he wasn't smiling. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing...I guess. It's just..." Tony hesitated, trying to find the right words.
Realisation struck Loki as suddenly as a light bulb blowing. He was pretty sure he knew exactly what was wrong. He'd gone through something similar himself, though it was before he had come out to anyone. Tony was hitting the period of time where you finally start to question what was going on. At this point he was just content at being in a relationship that was, for once, stable. Now they had been together for a while, and were as serious as a relationship can get when you're 18, the confusion was starting to set it.
It wasn't that Tony was confused about being with Loki. No, that wasn't it. It was more what that meant. Before he had come along Tony had believed he was one hundred percent straight with absolutely no exceptions. Now, that was obviously not the case. Now he was trying to figure out where these feelings stemmed from, did he always have them and just never notice, is Loki the only exception? Is he gay? Is he bisexual? And in amongst all the expectations to put a label on himself, he's not taking a minute to just calm down and think clearly. He needed to remember that there was no rush and truly no need to put a label on himself at all if he didn't want to.
"It's just that your confused because you're in a relationship with a man and your happy and you never really thought this would happen because you assumed you were totally straight and now your questioning everything and panicking unnecessarily. Because of that insecurity you're worried you'll mess this relationship up or that I will get bored slash annoyed with you and leave you," Loki said. Tony just stared at him in awe. "What? You think you're the only one who went through that? I may appear very comfortable in my sexuality now but believe me, when I first discovered these 'feelings' I freaked out."
"You're amazing, you know that."
"It's been mentioned," Loki smiled again. And it was a wonderful smile.
Tony returned the gesture but then his expression sobered and he was left feeling mildly anxious. He had no idea how what he was about to reveal was going to go down with Loki.
"That's not everything though," he started, pausing after he'd finished just to see what the other would say.
"Oh?" Loki replied.
"Okay so this is kinda awkward to talk about, well...for me anyway. It's just that with all this going on I'm still like..." He took a deep breath before blurting out what he wanted to say. "I've never had sex with a guy before or done anything really and I just don't want to fuck up or have you lose interest or think I'm an idiot."
"I think you're an idiot." Tony's face fell. "But not about this." He looked up, a relieved expression on his face. "You're feelings are perfectly valid and we'll take things at our own pace. If you're not comfortable with something then we won't do it. It's that simple and I won't judge you, I'm not dating you just to get in your pants, you know. I like you."
"So we're good? Everything's fine?"
"Yes," Loki agreed. "Everything is fine. Now we really should go inside because I'm freezing."
That was a fair point. Now thinking about it, Tony had goosebumps running up his arms and, as he glanced over at Loki, he realised the other man was shivering slightly. Right. Yeah. It wasn't a very smart idea to sit outside in December especially when it was dark. They headed towards the still open doors, the sound of music and talking from within growing louder as they approached. Just before they went inside, Loki muttered something into Tony's ear that made the blood drain from his face and travel to a region it probably shouldn't have.
"Anyway you knowing nothing means I get to teach you and I can be very thorough in my lessons."
Then he had the audacity to smirk at Tony and wink before dragging him inside. God what he wanted to do when I finally got his hands on that body.
Upon entering, the room was alight with both artificial lighting and smiles. Though the room was packed with people it didn't feel cramped. People grouped together but in a welcoming way, inviting to others that may want to share in their conversation.
Loki was obliged to take Tony over to his parents to introduce him. As always his mother was very welcoming, greeting Tony as though they had known each other for ages while his father made a fair attempt at interest but in the end became far too distracted by another one of his business associates that had just arrived. On the other hand, Loki seemed very relieved, dragging Tony away to the other side of the room. On the way they were stopped multiple times by relatives and family friends, all of which Loki dismissed quickly.
They both got drinks from the bar that was on the far left hand side at the back of the large room. Luckily being their age and it being Loki's parents' event, they were allowed alcohol. Then they sat down on chairs surrounding one of the many round tables that were dotted around the makeshift dance floor.
"See I don't see what the fuss was about, this really isn't bad at all. I'm quite enjoying myself."
Loki sent him an incredulous look. "Are you serious? You've barely been here ten minutes and it's not your family so you wouldn't understand."
"They were only trying to talk to you Loki, they're your family and they obviously care about you," Tony said, confused why he suddenly looked angry.
"Can we just drop it," Loki said shortly, and then added in a politer tone, "Please."
"Course," Tony replied.
A few beats of silence later Loki turned to him, leaning in close with a serious expression on his face. "I know I'm...I'm not always nice about talking about my family or anything but there are...there are reasons for that but I just don't think I'm ready to tell you them yet. I hope that's alright."
"As long as you are okay Loki I honestly don't care. Some things are private for a reason and when you feel ready I will be here to listen and to maybe offer advice if the situation demands it and to comfort you if you need it. So basically whatever you need, I'll be here, no matter the time even if it's half three in the morning."
He gave Loki a reassuring smile, wishing he could hug or kiss him instead. However, he respected Loki enough not to make a scene that could end disastrously. It was up to Loki when he told his parents, not him.
For Loki those words held a seriousness that he hadn't realised their relationship held yet. Yes they saw each other often, spoke everyday either in person or through texts, they spoke of everything from the serious to the hilarious, they laughed together. They were happy together.
"That sounded like it held a lot of sentiment," Loki said, feigning normality despite his racing thoughts and racing heart. It had just struck him that he cared for Tony far more than he'd ever expected to and now the weight of realisation was crushing him like a tonne of bricks. In a good way though. For once he wasn't scared by sentiment, by the possibility of feelings.
Shrugging Tony downed his drink. He looked out to the dance floor, surprised at the number of couples occupying it. As he placed his now empty glass down on the table he said, "You wanna join?" then he nodded in the direction of all the swinging partners.
Loki took another sip of his drink and almost choked. "What? Dance with you?" He inquired, surprise written on his perfectly line free face.
"Yeah, unless you're too scared."
"I've never been one to back out of a challenge," Loki answered with a dangerous smile, swallowing the rest of his drink before licking his lips.
"Good," Tony said. Standing up, he moved in front of Loki and offered him his hand. "May I have this dance then?"
If Loki had been thinking straight he probably would have declined because it was fairly obvious that his parents would see this. But for once he couldn't bring himself to care. They were going to find out sooner or later anyway and truthfully he really really wanted to dance with Tony. Smirking, he accepted Tony's offered hand and was yanked from his chair. In a second he was spun around before being pulled up against Tony's chest in one swift graceful movement.
"You can dance," He stated stupidly.
"You bet I can dance," was the reply he received.
There was no time to say any more on the subject because next second they were dancing. Not any of that stupid childish jumping up and down to a fast beat. No. This was proper dancing. Tony held Loki close as they revolved around the floor and Loki held him just as close in return. There was no need to speak and the truth is they couldn't. Everything about the moment demanded silence. They needed quiet so they could remember this moment forever. They never wanted to forget the closeness, the gentle touches, the fast breaths. The first realisation that this could become something serious. That this thing between them could soon grow and blossom into first love. And maybe even true love. There was no need to say a word.
The song carried on, a wordless melody that carried them around on its well paced beat. They eased round the other couples, never coming close to a collision and only drawing odd glances before they were forgotten, lost once again in their moment. As the song's notes began to fade out, Tony twirled Loki one last time, pulling him back so they were chest to chest.
Flushed from the dancing and from the sudden realisation of just how close he was to Tony, Loki took a deep breath, relaxing into Tony's arms that were still wrapped around his waist.
"And you can dance too," Tony commented with a laugh.
Loki couldn't even bring himself to respond. The overwhelming bizarreness of the situation was hitting just as hard as his feelings for Tony were. He laughed too, unable to fight the impulse to do what he did next. One hand on Tony's neck and the other in his hair, he guided his head up into a powerful kiss. The man didn't protest one little bit.
In seconds they were lost in the moment, unable to care in the slightest that a majority of the people in the surrounding area was now watching them. From the noises coming from them, it appeared their opinions were mixed. Some were fine, even clapping them or whistling their approval. On the other hand, many did not approve, muttering their disgust or else verbalising their remarks loud enough to hear. Still, none of these bothered the pair at all.
That was until they were harshly ripped apart, Tony left stumbling after losing his grip on Loki as the other man was dragged backwards.
He watched them from a distance, sussing and sighing every time they shifted closer or when a touch or look lingered slightly too long. In turn with his watching, Frigga was watching him, though thankfully made no comment. Yet. She wouldn't want them separated, she didn't see a problem. Then Loki's guest stood up and offered his hand to which Loki accepted. Odin tensed as he saw them begin to dance, choosing to ignore the fact that his son looked genuinely happy. It had been a long time since he had seen him smile. Still, that didn't forgive his actions.
"Leave it," Frigga muttered in his ear.
"But he knows what he is doing, this is a family event and he is deliberately trying to sabotage it. He always does this." His anger was starting to get the better of him.
"If you make a scene I will never forgive you," Frigga hissed. "And do not make Loki out to be that way, he never does things to deliberately ruin anything so don't talk about him in that way."
Odin made no reply, choosing to focus on the couple now revolving around the floor. To his distain other couples started to notice their dalliances and by the time the song came to an end they had drawn a small crowd. He began to edge through the crowd, getting closer and closer to his son and his friend. Though they had stopped dancing, they had remained exceedingly close. Unnecessarily close, he thought.
Then the worst happened. The thing that he could not accept. It was the last straw. Ignoring the protests of some of his guests, while with approval of others, he marched over to his son and wrenched the pair apart. Loki gasped in surprise, reflexively struggling in his grip. The attempt was futile as his hold never wavered. He strode back through the room, pulling Loki with him until they reached a more secluded area where he would be able to berate Loki on what he had just done. When he finally let go of the man, Loki span around with a livid expression on his face.
"What do you think you are doing?" he demanded before Odin himself was even able to speak.
"What am I doing? I should ask you the same question. How dare you? How dare you, at this family event, act like that?"
"Act like what? I was enjoying myself. I thought that was the point of this whole bloody evening!" Loki cried, gesturing with his arms at the room around, registering briefly that Tony had followed him and was now standing a metre or two to his left. He didn't look happy at all but all his anger appeared to be aimed at Odin and not himself.
"Don't use that language or tone with me. You knew what you were doing, you were just trying to provoke me."
"Surprisingly my world doesn't revolve around you father," Loki spat back, hatred taking centre stage over his anger. "I did not dance with my boyfriend to spite you, not matter what you may think. I did it because I wanted to."
As their voices rose in volume, the room grew quiet around them. No one pretended not to see the scene now. On the contrary they were all turned and watching avidly, unsure whether they should intervene or not.
"Stop acting like such a brat Loki and accept that you are in the wrong. All you do is cause mischief and chaos. You always have to have the world revolving around you and you always have to have the last word."
"Odin please stop," Frigga implored, casting a glance around the room at all the curious faces then sparing a sympathetic look for Tony who seemed torn of what to do, of whether he should speak up himself.
"No Frigga, he has been on his high horse for too long and deserves to be taken down a peg or two," Odin said in a quieter voice before allowing it to rise again as he addressed Loki. "You always felt so hard done by when growing up without any reason, always wanted more when we gave you everything and then you got kicked out of school for your stupidness and had the audacity to blame me."
"Of course I blamed you," Loki all but screamed, his fists clenching around his hair until it hurt. "If you hadn't lied to me all this time I would never have had to find out that way. You blame me, you try to blame me for this when it was you trying to get me to keep your secrets just so as not to break my mother's heart."
At this point Tony was pretty sure they were no longer talking about the dancing.
"I did that for our families own good."
"Own good? How is it good when it was me keeping the secret? It wasn't good for me."
"I meant my real family," Odin shouted before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted what he said.
Loki faulted, his mouth opening but no words coming out. His skin paled unnaturally and the bright light in his eyes visibly dimmed. Tony wanted to reach for him but didn't dare.
"Loki, son, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He knew it was no good before he had even finished.
"Yes you fucking did," He murmured. "You've wanted to say that for years, haven't you? All this time pretending to like me or even tolerate me but now the truth's out. You hate me, you never wanted me and I suppose that's good because I never wanted you either. I would've rather rot in an orphanage than call a man like you my father. I. Hate. You."
A blur of colour ending with an echoing slap. Loki doubled over clutching his now scarlet cheek. Odin looked shocked by his own actions but didn't appear to regret them. Frigga gasped, reaching for Loki but he stepped away out of her reach.
"Sorry to cut the party short," Odin spoke to his guests. "But we need to leave now. Thankyou for all the kind wishes. Come along Loki, Frigga."
The two followed behind him as he exited into the freezing night air. Tony tried to communicate with Loki but the man kept his head bowed, still holding his face, as he walked past. He wanted to say something but his mind supplied nothing of use. All he could do was stare as Loki silently got into the backseat of his parents' car. Then the car was pulling away, driving off into the night. The outline of Loki was soon swallowed by the darkness.
And we go crash-landing back into angst. Please leave a review and continue to favourite and follow?! :) and a happy birthday to Hannah for tomorrow, the dancing was for you!
