That's the Way I Loved You

Summary: Edward and Bella are high school sweethearts. Despite the many arguments, they both thought it was forever. But that all changes when Edward misses their anniversary and she realizes she can't do it anymore. Four years later, Bella has moved on and Edward regrets losing the greatest love he's ever known. They both return for Alice and Jasper's nuptials, old wounds open for Bella and Edward discovers his feelings never went away. Can three months change everything or will B & E be separated forever?

AN: For information reasons, at the start of the story, E & B are both 18. They are seniors are in high school. Also, text like 'this' are text messages and text like "this" are thoughts.

Disclaimer: Twilight = not mine.

Chapter One

May 9th, 2012

"Bella!" I hear him shout my name and, after slamming my locker shut, I turn in the opposite direction to head towards my first period English class.

I can hear him running to catch up. "Bella, wait."

"What?" I shout at him as I turn to face him, my angry brown eyes meeting his beautiful green ones. "What excuse do you have this time? Was a kitten stuck in a tree? Did Jasper need your help beating a video game? Did Emmett get his foot stuck in a toilet again? Did you have to save Sting from a burning building?"

"No, nothing like that. I – God – look, I . . ." He trails off as he runs his hand through his hair. I look at him, annoyed, as I wait for his answer. "I had to be there for Tanya. Her boyfriend broke up with her."

Scoffing, I say, "Tanya doesn't have boyfriends – she has flings. She was fine." I can tell he's about to interject on her behalf – 'That's not like Tanya.' He'll say. – and, having heard it so many times and not wanting to hear it again, I explain "That's no reason to miss a date. Look, I get it – she's your friend and you want to be there for her when she's hurting or in trouble or whatever. The fact of the matter is, if you're going to miss our date, you should call me. Or text me. Something, anything, just so that I know what's going on, instead of being left wondering where you are! Just so I'm not sitting at home all night, wondering if you're okay or if you crashed into a tree on the side of the road and are being rushed to the hospital!"

His face softens as the warning bells ring through the halls. "Look, I really don't want to do this with an audience and I also don't want to be late for class. We'll talk about this later." I walk away and finish heading to my English class. I slide into my seat just as the final bell rings.

I'm making my way to the cafeteria for lunch when I get pulled into a janitor's closet. Shocked, I look up to see Edward staring down at me. I open my mouth to say something when he speaks up.

"Shut up. You spoke earlier; now it's my turn." I close my mouth and nod to indicate he can continue. "I don't want to fight. I don't like it when we fight. It's almost the end of our senior year, graduation is just around the corner, and I don't want to spend the last moments of our high school life arguing like this. I know we're going to the same college but it's still going to be different." I look away when he says his last statement.

He puts his hands on my cheeks and pulls my face back up to look at him, "Anyway, I realized you were right. I should have told you – in some way – that I wouldn't be able to make it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not showing up. I'm sorry for not contacting you. I'm sorry for making you worry. It won't happen again, okay?"

I try to keep my "angry face" on but the façade starts to crack. "You promise?" I say with a smirk.

He laughs and, as he pulls me in for a kiss, says "Promise." right before our lips meet. A few minutes later, he checks to see if the coast is clear and we make our way to the lunch room, holding hands. He's right – we should just enjoy the last days of our high school life. I'll tell him about college soon. For now, everything – every problem – is forgotten.

May 30th, 2012.

"Hey, Edward, it's me. Obviously. Who else would call you from my number? Anyway, well, it's – " holding the phone between my shoulder and ear, I take a break from searching for my favorite pop tarts to look at the clock above the sink – "9:00 am so you're still sleeping. When you wake up, I won't be able to answer the phone if you call. I made a hair, make-up, and nail appointment for tonight, which is why I'm calling. I just wanted to give you a reminder. I also just wanted to say I'm so excited and I can't wait to see you tonight. I'll see you at the restaurant at seven. I love you."

I'm flipping through a magazine, getting my pedicure, when my phone vibrates.

'Just woke up. Got your message. Will definitely be there at 7, beautiful.'

"Oh, what put that smile on your face?" Dorota, my nail technician, asked.

"Um, my boyfriend. He's just confirming our plans for tonight." I show her a picture of Edward on my phone.

"He's a gorgeous one. You're lucky."

Laughing, I agree. "Yeah, he's hot, alright. It's our anniversary today. Three years." Dorota gives her congratulations before moving onto the next part of my pedicure and I return to my phone.

'Noon, huh? That's a record, even for you. I'm pretty sure you could rival Emmett. ;P'

'Can't beat him yet but I gotta get my practice in. It's an important part of any training regimen.'

'Oh, I see. You're right – practice is important. I'd hate for you to pull a muscle in the main sleeping competition. Lol. Now that you're up, what are you doing?'

'Besides thinking of you and how beautiful you're going to look tonight? I'm just watching SportsNet with Em and Jazz.'

'Sounds riveting.'

'Well, I'm sure it'll change in a couple of hours. Rose is upstairs helping Alice pick out 'the perfect outfit.' They're making Em and Jazz go shopping with them.'

'Oh, the non-simulated horror. I'm glad I have an excuse to be exempt.'

'Is that all our anniversary is to you? An excuse to get out of shopping with Alice? ;)'

'Of course. Well, that and the gift I'll be getting. Those are pretty much the only perks to dating you.'

'Oh, I'm wounded now. I thought I meant to more you than that.'

'Sorry to burst your bubble. Okay, I'm about to lose the use of my hands for now so I'm going to have to stop. I'll see you later. Happy anniversary. Love you. xoxo'

'Enjoy your appointments. Happy anniversary. Love you more. See you tonight, Beautiful.'

At seven, I walk in to Il Modo in Cui ti ho Amato – the Italian restaurant where we had our first date – and make my way to the host's stand.

"Table for Cullen." I tell the hostess. She grabs a menu and leads me to the empty table. I'm a little worried that Edward isn't here yet but it's possible he just ran into a little bit of traffic. The hostess pulls out my seat for me and, setting my purse and coat on the back of the chair, I slide onto the seat. She places the menu down and informs me the server will be over shortly to take my drink order.

Three hours have past and I'm absolutely livid. The server – a lovely girl named Amy – tells me that they're closing and asks if she can get me anything. I look around and see the restaurant has emptied of everyone except for the staff.

"No, just the check. Thank you." I say with a small smile.

"Honey, all you got was water and the complimentary breadsticks. You don't owe a thing." I get up, put on my coat, grab my purse, and head to the exit. "Actually, wait here for a second."

She comes back with a white, square box and hands it to me. "You're probably starving so here. It's on the house." I can see the pity in her eyes but I reluctantly take the box anyway.

"Thank you." I say before she grabs the dishes and heads back to the kitchen. I leave five dollars on the table as a tip for the free mystery item and exit the restaurant.

On the way home, it takes everything I have to keep from falling apart and, by the time I walk in the door, it's like I've gone numb. I should've expected that he wouldn't show – this is how it is with us. Everything's perfect for a few weeks and, then, he forgets a date, a call, or does something that causes us to fight. So, yeah, I should've expected him to pull a no-show. Should've known he wouldn't even call to tell me he would be late or he wouldn't make it.

Taking off my heels and placing my coat on the hooks by the door, I make my way into the kitchen with the take out box and my purse. Slinking into the table chair, I take out my phone and look at it. Screen illuminating my face, I see the same thing I've been seeing for the past two hours and forty five minutes now. Zero missed calls. Nothing new there. I've already called him about twenty times with no answer so calling again is pointless. After grabbing a fork, I open the box and see tiramisu starting up at me, causing me to remember all the good times on this day.

May 30th, 2009.

"Can I get you guys anything for dessert?" The waitress at Il Modo in Cui ti ho Amato asks us.

"Tiramisu. Thanks." Edward answers as I was about to ask for a menu. The waitress writes it down on her notepad and turns to me.

"Would you like anything? Or maybe I should just bring two forks with the tiramisu?"

"Two forks is fine. Thank you." The waitress walks away and, surprised, I ask, "How did you know?"

"I'm just that good." He smirks. "Actually, I saw you licking your lips at it earlier when they brought it out to that other table." I smile at him as the waitress brings out our dessert and we dig in.

May 30th 2010.

"Where are you taking me?" I laugh as I faintly hear the twigs snapping beneath our feet.

Chuckling, he answers, "You'll see soon."

A few more minutes of walking and he removes his hands from my eyes. I look around and see several candles placed sporadically.

Astonished, I ask "When did you have time to do all this?"

"I may have had some help with the set up. And, then again, with getting them lit in time before we got here."

I immediately know he means Alice. No one can quite get something like this done in time except for that crazy pixie I call my best friend. "It's beautiful but why the special treatment?"

"Well, there's something I wanted to tell you and I wanted it to be perfect. But, first, we should sit down so I can show you our dessert."

After we're settled on the picnic blanket, he pulls out a white, square box and opens it to reveal a piece of tiramisu, exactly like the one on our first date but there's one thing different about it. On top of the pastry, written in chocolate, are the words 'I love you.'

My breath catches and I look up at him in confusion. "It's true." He says. "You're beautiful and amazing and perfect and my life is so much better with you in it. I love you, Bella."

I throw my arms around him and kiss him with all the passion I can muster. I pull back a few seconds later. "I love you, too." I say, giddy and in love. He kisses me again and then he pulls out a plastic fork and we feed each other the tiramisu.

May 30th, 2011.

"So, how was it? Are you okay?"

Turning to face Edward, I respond "It was fine. I'm okay. I mean, yeah, it hurt. . . a lot, but, because it was with you, I'm okay." I move to put my hand on his face, but he grabs it before I can and kisses it. Thinking about what we just did, I start laughing. I can see the confusion on his face so I explain.

"I can't believe we're a cliché! I mean, seriously. On prom night!" At this, Edward starts laughing with me.

"Well, I got us something and I hope that makes it less of a cliché." Now I'm confused as Edward shows me the white, square box and I immediately know what it is. I smile at Edward and kiss him chastely on the lips before opening the box as Edward grabs the fork.

May 30th, 2012, 11:30PM

Something wet hits my thigh – I can feel it seep through the thing fabric of my dark blue dress. The tiramisu suddenly becomes blurry – I worry about something being wrong with my eyesight before I realize I'm crying. Once I do, the water works come full force. Barely able to see through my tears, I pick up the tiramisu and throw it in the trash and make my way to my room. Once there, I tear off the dress like I can't get it off me fast enough and throw it in some general direction. I put on my favorite pajama bottoms and go to pair with my favorite shirt of Edward's before I toss that to the side, too, and put on the matching henley. I don't care about taking off my make-up or taking down my hair – I just curl up on my bed and let the tears flow.

"He forgot. He actually forgot. He's forgotten dates before but not like this. Never our anniversary." Feeling my heart break more with every moment, I just think, "I don't how much longer I can let him break my heart."

I don't know how many hours have passed when I hear something hitting my window. I wish it would just stop. I finally think I catch a break with it before I hear it start up again. Wait, I know that sound. It's pebbles. I turn to look at my phone. It's 1:45 am. I have several missed phone calls and unread texts from Edward, starting at 1:00 am.

'Bella, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to stand you up.'

'Are you mad? I wouldn't blame you if you are but I hope you're not.'

'Who am I kidding? Of course you're mad. Look, I understand if you don't really want to talk to me right now but, please, just tell me you're safe at home.'

'Or tell me something. Anything. Even a K. Just so I know you're safe.'

'Please just respond to my texts. I just need to hear from you.'

'I didn't mean to forget and stand you up. I am really sorry. Please stop ignoring me.'

'If you don't respond soon, I'm coming over.'

'I love you.'

"Okay, I thought you'd respond to that one for sure. Something along the lines of 'I love you, too, but I just need to be alone right now. We can talk later.' but I'm not getting anything from you.'

'That's it. I'm coming over to see you. I have to make this right, have to make this up to you. I'm leaving now.'

'I'm outside.'

'You can ignore my texts and calls all you want. I'll find some other way to get your attention.'

I hear the sound of pebbles hitting the window again. Knowing it's Edward, I send him a quick message.

'I get it. You want to talk so you can stop with the pebbles. I'll be down in a minute.'

I quietly tiptoe out of my room and make my way to the bathroom downstairs. No way am I going to let Edward know I was crying over this. I look in the mirror and see what a mess I am. Dried, black streaks from my eyeliner on my cheeks. Smudged blue eyeshadow around my eyes. What was once beautiful curled hair is now a rat's nest. Tackling my hair first, I run a brush through it and pull it up in a messy bun and then grab one of my make-up remover sheets and get rid of the messy eye make-up. Trying to make my face look less puffy, I put on some light foundation.

"There. All ready."

I slip on my converse and make my way to the back door where I see Edward leaning against the fence. The second he sees me, he pushes off the fence and cups my face in his hands. I can see the regret on his perfect face, just like he can see the pain in my eyes. We just stand in silence, listening as it begins to drizzle, before he speaks.

"I'm so sorry. I know I said that in my text but it's all I can say about this. It's just because I am sorry for missing our date."

Dejected, I reply "You've missed dates before, Edward, so I've come to expect it and, usually, sorry can fix it. But I can't just let this time slide with sorry. This wasn't just a date – this was an anniversary. You've never missed those before. You showing up for sure on this night was the one thing – the one constant – I could count on. The one time I believe that you'll always show up and, tonight, you shattered that. You want to make this better? Then explain to me why you didn't show. Didn't even call. A reason's not going to make it better, not going to fix it, but it'll help me start to determine if I can forgive you."

Removing his hands from my face to run them through his hair, he sighs. "This won't make you any less mad but I went to a concert." I'm about to yell at him when he speaks again. "I know! Missing our anniversary for a concert is the most stupid reason in the world. This wasn't just any concert, though. It was a concert for my favorite band's one time only reunion tour. I wasn't able to get tickets when they went on sale so I forgot about it. But, then, when I found out a friend got two tickets at the last minute, I couldn't pass it up. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I had to make the decision right away because, just as I was about to leave to meet you, Tanya showed up with th – "

"Tanya?" That little tidbit of knowledge just twisted the knife in my heart deeper.

"Oh, shit. I wasn't going to include her name." He must've sensed how much that hurt me because he takes my hands in his. "Bella, I went because it was my favorite band, not because it was Tan – "

I pull my hands from his in exasperation. "Don't say her name! Don't you dare say her name right now! You spent our anniversary with her?! I can't believe you! Of all things with all people, it had to be her that you blew me off for! You know how much I hate it when you hang out with her! Because she likes you, because she's after you! But, because I know you love me, because her plans haven't ever worked, because she's a long-time family friend, I deal with it. For you!"

In an effort to calm me down, he puts his hands on my shoulders and, suddenly, all the fight goes out of me. The rain has picked up and is a full-on downpour now. It's soaking us and I realize I can't keep fighting with him anymore. I know what I have to do. I think part of him knows it, too, because his hands are shaking as I prevent him from saying whatever he was going to say.

"I can't keep doing this, Edward." I say as my shoulders slump and he drops his hands as if he's been shocked. "I can't keep fighting with you every two, three weeks. It's not a relationship anymore – it's just a vicious cycle. We fight then we're happy, then we fight, then we're happy again. Over and over, on and on, and we can't do it anymore. I can't do it anymore."

"Then we'll change it! We'll fix it! Tanya has been a big stressor on us and, once we're at NYU, it won't be an issue anymore. We can make it through this and things will get – "

"No. Tanya has been a part of our problems but not a big one. It's not just her coming between us and I don't want to fix us. I don't think there's anything left to fix and I'm done trying to. I think it's best we just end things now, before we go off to college, and we go in our separate directions. Strong high school relationships barely last through college and ours isn't strong anymore, not by a long shot. I think we should just make it a clean break."

I don't look at him as I turn to go inside. I don't give him a chance to say anything. I know his face is going to be full of heartbreak. I know what he's going to say. I'm at the door and, before he can say anything, before he can make one last ditch effort to get me to stay, I whisper "I'm done."

Leaving him on the back porch, in the pouring rain, I slide down the door and all the tears I'd been holding in just come pouring out.

June 1st, 2012.

My head feels like it's been hit with a hammer but also like it's stuffed inside one of those protective wresting helmets. I grab my phone to check the time and see that it's 1:30 in the afternoon. I expect a bunch of calls from Edward but see no notifications.

"Good." I think. But I also feel hurt because I wanted him to call. Wanted him to continue to fight for me, even after I told him I was done. Though, if I'm wanting things, I want last night to have never happened. I want him to have never forgotten about our date. I want him to have chosen me over that stupid concert. Maybe then we could've been okay. I get out of bed and make my way downstairs. I don't feel hungry but, having not eaten for over 24 hours, I should eat something.

"Afternoon, Bells." I'm surprised to see Charlie home. It's a Friday and, being Chief of Police, he should be at the station, not at home in the middle of the day, reading the newspaper.

"Afternoon." I reply. "Why are you home?"

"Decided to take a half day. I'm going fishing with Harry." He looks up at me from his paper as I sit across from him. "Just checking the weather forecast. How's Edward? Did you have a good date last night?"

He goes back to his paper and I answer, "He forgot. We broke up."

I can tell Charlie is shocked by this as he puts down his paper and doesn't say anything for a few minutes. "Uh, what happened? Are you okay? Do you want me to cancel my fishing trip?"

Charlie doesn't do well with emotion and I can tell, while he would if I said yes, he doesn't really want to cancel his fishing trip. "I don't really want to talk about it, so, short version is it seems like all we do is fight anymore and I'm tired of fighting. And, no, I don't want you to cancel your trip."

He's silent for a bit longer before he asks, "Is there anything you do want?"

I don't know how to answer that question. I'm actually shocked he asked it and I definitely didn't expect it.

"I think we should just make it a clean break."

Thinking back to what I told Edward last night suddenly makes it clear.

"I want to leave Forks."

June 1st, 2012 – EPOV

Hearing Bella say she was done while looking so broken made me realize just how much I screwed up. I did that to her - I made her look broken and I hate myself for it. I have to make it up to her. I have to make it okay. Even though she said she's done, I don't believe we are. I refuse to believe that's how we end, refuse to believe that's where and how our story ends. I messed up and hurt her but I'm not giving up on us. I'll give her some time to calm down and then I'll get her back.

June 12th, 2012 – EPOV

It's been eleven days since Bella broke up with me. I've given her space to calm down and forget about this but it's gone on long enough. It's time for me to get her back, get us back. I pull up to Bella's house and get out of my silver Volvo. After making my way up the stairs, I knock on the door, hoping to see Bella. However, I'm dismayed when Charlie answers the door. And, also, a little bit scared because he looks like he hates my guts. "Okay, so, obviously, Bella told him what happened." How much she told him, I don't know but she definitely told him we broke up.

"Good morning, sir. Is Bella home? I was hoping to talk to her."

"She's not here, Edward."

"Okay, so, she's not home right now. But she'll come home at some point today."

"Do you know what time she'll be home? It's very important that I talk to her. I have to make things right."

"Edward, she doesn't want to make things right. Besides, when I said she's not here, I didn't mean she's not home. I mean she's gone. She left Forks."

My blood runs cold at that tidbit of knowledge. "What?" I say, shocked and feeling hopeless.

"She left Forks. She wanted to make a clean break from you, from the memories, so she left for college early."

"So she just left for NYU early. I can talk to her there. I still have a chance to get her back. I just have to wait a little longer."

"I see. Then I guess I'll just have to wait until I see her at NYU to talk to her." I say, feeling a little bit of hope returning. Charlie's closing the door but, at that, he stops and opens the door again to step out onto the porch.

"She didn't tell you? I know she broke up with you so things must've been bad but I'm surprised she didn't tell you."

My brow furrows. "Didn't tell me what?"

"Oh, boy. Okay. She's not going to NYU. She got accepted to Harvard. Some kid dropped out at the last minute and she was offered a full ride so she took it." I can tell Charlie is done with the conversation but, before he goes inside, he offers one last piece of advice. "Look, she just wants a clean break so I think you should respect that. Don't try and hunt her down. Leave her alone – let her move on and live her life. I don't know what happened exactly, but I think it's the least you could do for her, if you really do love her."

I say thank you before Charlie is able to close his front door and I run to my car. I rush home and race to my room, picking up the cell phone I left on the desk. I immediately call Bella's number.

It rings forever before I finally get through and am about to say something before I hear "The number you have dialed is not available. Please check the number and try again."

I try a couple more times, only to end up with the same message. I throw my phone in frustration and turn to my laptop. I pull up Facebook and search for Bella's name on my profile only to discover it's not there. I type her name into the search bar and it's not showing up. I can't even find it on the friends list for our mutuals – my sister, Alice, and brother, Emmett, and our friends, Jasper and Rosalie Hale. I try her Twitter, her Tumblr, her Instagram, every social media account she has and get the same thing as the first. I even try emailing her and I just get it sent back to me with the general "we cannot find this email address." message.

I feel the fight go out of me as I realize she's blocked me on everything. She's deleted me from her life. My shoulders completely deflate as I realize there's no hope left. She's gone. I lost her.

AN: So that's the end of the chapter one. This is the first story I've actually decided to release so I look forward to any feedback and I hope you enjoyed chapter one.