Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel Cinematic Universe, Devil May Cry or anything else you may recognize

So this was inspired by a bunch of stupid Tony stan comments on my MCU watch-it fic on AO3. Hope all enjoy this.

Devil May Cry

"Hmmm", Dante said, looking at the copy of the Sokovia Accords in front of him, as Thaddeus Ross looked at him expectantly. Dante was eating pizza while his feet were up on the table. "So the governments of 117 countries want me to sign this, isn't that right?"

"Yes, after signing this, you must report to us before any mission outside of the US", Ross said.

"Does that include other Dimensions, since I go into those a lot?" Dante asked, and Ross was silent, not having expected that question.

Dante then took a deep breath and asked. "So, say if a Demon is rampaging Canada or something, then I must take permission before slaughtering it?"

"Yes, that's right", Ross nodded.

"And how many people would die by the time I get permission?" Dante asked and Ross had no response once more, so Dante continued, his mouth stuffed with pizza. "I thought what you were telling me when you came in was the biggest load o' shit I'd ever heard, but that was before I read this. Nothing useful in it at all."

"Now you can't just ignore the will of 117 countri-"

Dante got up and picking up the copy of the Accords, threw it out of the window with amazing strength, and Ross watched in disbelief as the Accords went beyond even the tallest building, and still wasn't losing altitude. When they lost sight of it, it wasn't because it was falling, as one might expect, but because it went beyond the clouds, where it was completely obscured by them.

"What-what did you do?" Ross asked in a rage.

"Threw a 1000 pages worth of horseshit out the window", Dante shrugged. "Right, now you can show yourself the way out."

"We can make sure you never set foot outside a prison cell again, we will come for you!" Ross snapped.

"Killed before, a time to kill them all, and pass down the righteous law", Dante said with a smirk as Ross backed off in horror at what Dante was implying. Could he really take out the combined might of 117 countries alone? Was he that powerful or that stupid? Considering his attitude, Ross feared it was the first.

"Also, none of my fights have gotten anyone killed, other than Demons. When the Avengers were battling the Chitauri in New York, I was on Mallet Island fighting Mundus, who can make this planet go inside out with a command, and when they were busy trying to stop Sokovia from falling since a robot really has no goddamn intelligence, I was fighting Abigail here", Dante reminded. "I don't need these at all."

"Hey Dante!" Patty Lowell suddenly said as she walked in with a happy smile.

"Ah, Patty, now that you're here, make yourself useful will ya? Take out the trash", Dante said, gesturing to Ross, who felt angry and humiliated.

"Come on, Mr., get out of here", Patty said as she grabbed his hand really hard, making him wince, and actually dragged him out as Ross now got an idea.


Two days later

Dante was eating pizza while watching the news of Captain America, Falcon and the King of Wakanda being arrested for a chase in Romania, and it involved that Bucky Barnes guy who was Cap's best friend before Hydra had brainwashed him.

"Whoa! How does a third world place's King have that picture on him?" Dante wondered about the Wakandan King's suit.

Then he got a call from Patty's mother. "Yeah, yeah, no she didn't- what? Okay, calm down, I'm gonna do something."

Dante cut the call. If Patty was at none of the places she was supposed to be at, where could she be? Then Dante realized Ross would do anything to get to him, it had to be him.

"Time to visit ya in Berlin, jackass!" Dante said with a smirk.


Later, Joint Counter Terrorist Center

Steve was being attacked by a brainwashed Bucky again while Zemo was running off, Sam chasing him. Suddenly, Zemo ran into a tall white-haired man with a red trench coat who had appeared out of nowhere and was knocked out just by that, rolling down the stairs and stopping at Sam's feet.

"Whoa man, how did you do that?" Sam asked.

"Kid's too fragile", Dante shrugged before running past Sam at amazing speed as he lifted Bucky up and threw him into a wall as lightly as he could, knocking him out.

Steve sighed in relief and said. "Thank you, Mr…."

"Dante, that'd be it, now tell me where is the Secretary Jackass of State", Dante asked with a snarl.


Later

Ross arrived at the place to see Zemo being led away in handcuffs as Everett told him. "This guy was behind it all, he did the bombing too, and was trying to get to Barnes."

"Put them under arrest!" Ross said, gesturing to Steve and Sam.

"Okay Ross, you need to calm yourself down, this is over", Tony said.

"Shut up! Arrest them!" Ross snapped.

"How about I ask you where Patty is, then you get arrested", Dante asked, emerging from the shadows as Ross paled at his sight, not having expected to see him here.

"Y-you, how did you get he-"

"There's a lot you don't know about me", Dante said with a shrug. "Where's Patty?"

"I don't know!" Ross snapped.

Dante walked closer to him, towering over him.

"Sign the Accords!" He said.

"Oh come on, the Accords are only good for being thrown out the window. I heard the one I threw out the window was partially found in London of all places", Dante said as the Avengers had to cover their mouths to stop their snickering.

Ross grabbed Dante by the collar but couldn't budge him, and in his anger took out a gun, which was also useless.

"Where's Patty?" Dante asked.

"In the Raft!" Ross snapped, now losing it as he aimed his gun at Dante, who walked closer. "I'm in-charge here!"

Dante suddenly kicked Ross hard in the chest and he was sent crashing through the wall to the floor below, all his bones broken. Before he passed out, he heard Dante say. "You may be in-charge up here, but you're in traction down there."


Later, the Raft

The guards were going about their usual business when the door just burst open as Dante walked in, casually flinging them away, and eventually found Patty, shattering her cell door as she ran to him and hugged him. "I knew you'd come."

"Let's go home, kid", Dante said to her.


And because of that, due to Ross' actions, the Accords were derailed, and eventually the countries all pulled out when everything wrong with them was pointed out, and a newer version was made which was actually an agreement, while Ross was pretty much dishonored and never heard from again, having become road kill in this.

The Avengers also stayed together, though the reveal of Steve having an idea of Bucky being behind Tony's parents' deaths from the imprisoned Zemo did strain their relationship a little, but they still remained friends and never came to blows.

Dante was made an Avenger, and because of his amazing power, Thanos was stopped when he arrived, not being able to get any Stone other than the 3 he already had.

And so, the world was saved.


Now if this was comics Thanos, Dante would have a long and hard fight against him, but MCU Thanos, as powerful as he is, falls short of the Devil May Cry Universe.

So this was my 199th fic, now I'm wondering what the 200th one will be.

Anyway, hope everyone enjoyed and see you all next time with some other update. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!